Summary: He was young, even for a ShinRa infantryman, yet the way had found to draw my attention that time, changed my life forever [Zack/Angeal/NO yaoi/Hewley's POV]
I was never the one for parenting or being a mentor. That is a fact I have to admit, yet every well-respected First has to take on some 'teacher duties'. I acknowledge that, even better than just 'well enough'. Even though, I cannot say that it is 'fun' or 'pleasant'. A simple duty, that's all. No need to add philosophy to it.
And it is not the inexperience of lower-rank SOLDIERs or infantrymen that annoys me, it is the silly way they say they 'idolize' the Firsts like me yet act as if they were so poor they couldn't afford to pay attention. The only way to stop their quiet chatters and make them listen is raising my voice.
Being a SOLDIER, it is not only about trainings, not only about fighting, even if it seems that it is. There are also lectures, exams, for SOLDIER is not a bunch of muscles ready to fight, having scientists and tacticians to think for them, even if it looks like that.
„Being a SOLDIER…" I say to the group of cadets that want to join us „is not only about your muscles, increasing your physical strength, using your power to break enemies down… it is far more than that" I reach for Buster Sword I always carry on my back „It is also about understanding, fighting for what is important for you" I press the sword to my forehead „So I will repeat this sentence until you grow sick of it:" I say with a grin on my face „Embrace your dreams, fight and protect your honor, not only as SOLDIERs, if any of you decides to join, but, what is even more important, as men." I remain silent for a while before putting my sword on my back again. „End of the lecture" I announce and see sparks of joy, relief and inspiration in infantrymen's eyes.
One of them draws my attention, a young, twelve- or thirteen-year-old boy with coal black hair. He joined about two months ago and never paid any attention to my lectures, all he did was talking about the 'ShinRa's terrible mistake' that he thought he was assigned to SOLDIER and not the infantry et cetera et cetera… I knew that it was no mistake, the problem was.. his age. Usually one should be at least fifteen years old to join SOLDIER, well, what could I say? I was about his age when I joined so maybe I could do something for him now? He just… reminded me of… me. The 'me' from the past, poor boy from a poor family who dreamed of military future.
„Hey, you!" I approach him „Is something the matter, cadet?" I as him, as friendly as I only can, I try not to look dow on him, I was unexperienced just like him, once. I was just like him…
„Uh.. n-no, not really…" He answers, nervously. „…sir" he then adds. I can sense that he is simply afraid of me, I need to be really careful. The infantryman shakes his feet nervously and suddenly blurts out
„I-I have no freaking idea, why I'm here, sir! I-I thought t-that I was appointed to SOLDIER and not the ShinRa infantry, sir! I… I envy you for being a SOLDIER, I envy you whenever I see you! I just… I just don't understand any of it!" He says in anger, almost crying, then he spits on my shoe. Frown of dissappointment on his face, clenched teeth…
I sight and then lift his chin to look him in the eye, my features serious, his brown eyes are now full of fear, he's shaking like a stray puppy in the rain.
„You see, cadet… as for me, you're pretty young for SOLDIER, you've still got time. But I see that you're doing your best at trainings and that you aim higher than being a peacekeeping troop. Besides, I'm not an expert, come with me, um…" I hesitate, now that I said that he may join SOLDIER, he should be more than just a 'cadet' for me.
„Zack" the boy answers „Zack Fair, sir"
I nod slightly „Come with me, Zack. I'll take you to doctor Hojo, he'll tell if you're physically ready to join SOLDIER, okay?"
Zack's features brighten in a dumbfolded expression, that earned a chuckle from me. I ruffle his hair and then take him by the hand. He doesn't show any signs of disagreement so I think it's a good sign. Then I lead him to the elevator and take him to SOLDIER floor. There, I lead him to Hojo's lab and explain the situation to the scientist.
„Hmm… interesting, very interesting!" Hojo giggled „You can leave him to me, Hewley, I'll be sure to take good, good care of him…"
Zack gulped down scared and looked at me.
„Angeal?" he asked and his eyes finished the question ''Are you sure about leaving me here?''
It made me hesitate for a moment but just for a moment. It also was the firt time that he, or any other infantryman called me simply Angeal and not Commander Hewley.
„You'll be fine, Zack. Hojo isn't that bad…"
The boy blinked a few times, his puppy eyes begging me to stay but I simply… left him there all alone with Hojo. If he wanted to be a SOLDIER, he shouldn't be afraid of an injection, right?
„Hey, Angeal!" I hear a familiar voice.
I turn around to see Sephiroth, his silver hair tied in a ponytail, however, I don't see Genesis by his side.
„All hail Sephiroth" I say, offering him a two-finger salute.
„The Seconds are out for now" he announces „Genesis is waiting in the training room, you coming?"
„Hell yeah" I say with a grin.
And he smiles, too. I have to admit that being his only friend (apart from Genesis), is also something I can say that I'm proud of.
The training was fun, as always. Genesis got carried away with his desire to beat Sephiroth, that was his usual manner ever since the beggining of our trio's friendship. And as always, he failed to win with silver-haired SOLDIER, no chance to ever change that."
As for me, it only ended up with two small bruises and 'mad-Genesis' earned another injury on his pride, not honor, for not beating Sephiroth.
„Nothing to worry, Redhead" Sephiroth teased him, taking his own coat off and joining us in his trousers only. „I'd wager, at this rate you'll beat me on… February 31st."
Genesis simply clenched hhis teeth as he poured Banora White juice into three glasses.
„Fine." He said „I get it, you are the best et cetera, et cetera…." His features became soft and calm as usual „at the very least, just drink this: he handed Sephiroth a glass of Banora White juice. Sephiroth then lifted Genesis's chin with one hand and quickly turned his touch into strong, unpleasant grip. He could even break Genesis's jaw if he used more strength. His face was now just inches from redhead's.
„Hell. No." He whispered into Rhapsodos's face.
I laugh out loud, seeing this.
„Guys, please…" I say, since they were fighting about lots of different things since like forever. And Genesis, maybe subconsciously accepting the fact that he was weaker than Sephiroth, found himself another dream, about sharing a Banora white fruit or juice with Sephiroth.
„Hewley" I hear an unpleasant, high-pitched male voice. Hojo. I turn around to face the scientist „About this infantryman you recommended for SOLDIER" Hojo's voice seemes as if he was merely pretending to worry. It made me somewhat anxious „Come with me"
Genesis just nods at me, telling me to go, while Sephiroth seems fascinated with a glass of water, he brought himself, obviously ignoring me.
I stood up and followed the scientist.
„Was he… too weak?" I ask with heavy concern, if the boy suffers from mako addiction now, it is all my fault. After all I was the one who recommended him for SOLDIER.
„He's in kind of a… comatose state. But it has nothing to do with mako addiction, quite the… opposite. His body is trying to withstand the surgery, that's true. Mako and Cetra genome, but it is not killing but rather… adjusting him to the changes. It may result in creating a whole new generation of SOLDIER"
I connect all the facts I just recieved.
„Wait… did you experiment on him!?"
Hojo remained silent but as for me it was clear that he DID something to that kid… Tsk! It was no secret that Hojo loved experiments, especially the ones he could do on humans. All for the sake of science and improving SOLDIER… of course…
He led me to the lab where Zack was. Lying on a bed, dressed up not in infantry uniform but something like a white bathrobe, his breath was slow, shallow, his muscles seemed unable to relax, his face, as if he was having a bad dream.
„He should wake up quite soon, I think" Hojo said „But there is one thing. We still don't really know how Cetra genome and mako infusion will affect him. There's about 30 to 35% chance that he'll 'burn out' in the fight, he'll be physically unable to reach even the rank of Second and as time will pass, he may lose physical abilities like walking et cetera. OR…" doctor clapped his hands once „OR he'll become ShinRa'smost precious treasure, the best SOLDIER in ShinRa's history, or even begin a new generation of SOLDIER as I said earlier. It mostly depends on how he'll be raised"
Something snapped inside of me, as I was looking at this boy, coal black hair, pale face…
„I'll do it" I say „I don't care if he'll be disabled and wheelchair-bound for life and I'll have to take care of him, or extremely powerful. It. Does. Not. Matter. Not for me. I… I want to be his mentor."
„Can't believe you actually did it!" I'd understand if you were assigned as his mentor by ShinRa, but… you appointed!?"
„Yes" I answer briefly, taking a sip of Banora White juice.
„Who are you and what have you done to Angeal Hewley!?" Genesis asks.
„Well…" I say, thinking of this young boy, he was almost like me when I joined SOLDIER… „Maybe I'm matured enough to take care of someone. Finally." Some images flash in my mind, raging behemoths and lost fellow SOLDIERs, yes, I was insecure way back when, I was a proud man, vain man. Way too vain and proud to take care of anyone, including myself, several scars on my body will confirm that. Now, it's time to change that.
„So… which one was that you chose to adopt and recommend for SOLDIER?" Genesis seems suddenly interested „This cute Gongagan with coal-black spikes?"
„Spikes? Ah, you mean the hairstyle…Um… y-yeah, I guess that's the one" I say, suddenly feeling like we were not talking about a human like us, but about a puppy that was about to be adopted from the shelter, for some reason.
„Hahahah… I can't wait to see sugar-daddy-Ang-!"Before he can finish the sentence, my fist turns him silent.
„Love you, too…" He chuckles, holding his hand to his cheek.
I grin, shaking my head slowly. Yes, I fought with Genesis quite often, and acts of violence between us were something, well, pretty normal. Often considered friendly by both of us.
We talked for a moment, about lots of things, about this boy, maybe the youngest SOLDIER in history, at least the youngest for now. About tactics, about life just talking like we always did. Everything pretty stable here, no changes, as always. But some changes were about to come, we both acknowledged that.
I decided to spend the evening alone, in my room, even though Genesis and Sephiroth offered me hanging out together somewhere.
I am lying on my bed, in my sweatpants only. I can't sleep, the thoughts are flowing through my head like a raging mountain stream. I am thinking about Zack, about Hojo's words. He will either be disabled or become the greatest SOLDIER of our generation… In this silence I hope that I'll be able to raise him properly, that I'll be able to take care of him, that my actions won't ruin him… Basing on the information I have, it won't be easy. But I'll have to try. No. I'll do it, because I promised.
Thanks to my enhanced senses, I am able to hear someone collapsing on the corridor. My first thought is that Genesis got drunk again… but just to be sure, I get up and open the door.
No sign of Genesis, the only person I see is a Third, stumbling on his feet. He tries to take another step but collapses once again.
„Zack!" I say, running towards him. I reach him in almost no time, then lift him bridal style and take him to my room. He is shivering.
I lay him on my bed, what should I do? I cannot wake anyone up now, there are times like this when we are on our own. I can see that Zack doesn't feel too good, I'm his mentor now, it is my duty to take care of him.
„It… it is your… fault…" his voice is weak. Too weak.
„What?" I kneel beside him and stroke his hair gently.
Zack's eyes are halfaway open, he seems to be in such pain that I can almost feel it. It… it is my fault. I made him suffer like that, I recommended him for SOLDIER despite his young age.
He wants to say something but all that reaches me is a moan of pain. I stroke his hair, hoping that it will calm him down. Yes, I feel guilty, his pain is just… too much! I am supposed to protect him from now on but I failed befote it even started. If there's any way I could make it all up to him…
„Zack… listen to me. Just listen to my words, okay? I… I'm sorry, I just wanted you to be happy, I knew that you desired to join SOLDIER, and… maybe I hurried things not necessarily up. I can see that you are in pain and it hurts to even look at you in that state, since you are right, it's all my fault" I close my eyes for a moment „I cannot do much now, but in the morning we'll go to doctor Ho-" I am interrupted but not by his words. He is holding my wrist, nails digging into my skin until they rip through it and I feel my own blood.
„No… An-Angeal… not your… fault… You… you wanted good…" his eyes open fully. There is no trace of brown in them, they are sky-blue hued. „Don't take me… to doctor Hojo… again. He-he is bad…"
I sigh and look into his eyes. I have to help him, somehow.
„Come here…" I say, and sit on the bed, then make him sit on my lap, his head rests on my shoulder. I hug him closely and start swaying him in my arms. He is so young…
I am the one to protect him now. I will have to be here for him, until the end.
„Angeal… don't leave me…"
„I'm not leaving, Zack" I say. „I'm not going anywhere"
I sway him in my arms, embracing him warmly I want him to feel safe with me, I'll do everything to protect him. To keep him safe.
It is calm and silent, I stroke my apprientice's back and soon I feel something on my bare shoulder. Tears. A shiver runs through Zack's body as he clings to me, holding on as if something could take him away from me.
„I'll always be here for you, Zack. I am your mentor now, and it is my duty to protect you, from whatever is a threat to you. Your life is a number one priority to me, you keep that in mind, okay?"
I can feel that he nods, still moved by all of this. I'll stay with him as long as I can. It won't be an easy task, but at least I'll be able to make things up to him. Minutes pass, turning into hours before Zack falls asleep. I put him in my bed and cover him, then sit by his side and watch him as he sleeps. Like an old watchdog, a thought comes to my mind. That, would somehow make Zack a puppy… I chuckle at the though and continue to watch over him. A watchdog, guardian angel, father-figure, whatever I can be called now.
Zack is beautiful, and powerful. The small wound he made on my wrist is no longer bleeding. I touch what's left of it gently and I am sure that the person I'm watching now will be a hero one day, I can tell.
His eyes flutter open just before the dawn, I smile, even though I'm not sure if I closed my eyes for even a longer while.
„Good morning" I say
„Mornin' Angeal" he yawns.
He then gets up and walks over to a mirror, staring in awe at his SOLDIER third class uniform. His joy can barely be described in words that are known to us.
„Yeah, you just became the youngest SOLDIER in history. Congratulations, Zack"
He shakes his head and then looks at me.
„It's all thanks to you, Angeal… and… and the only sentence I remembered from your lectures. Embrace your dreams… I did it, Angeal… thanks to you!" he then runs towards me and hugs me closely.
I embrace him once again, my puppy… wait, why do I think so of him? I take another glance on him… yeah, he is trustful, cute, he's a dreamer… I'm sure that one day he will be a real hero. Even though now he's so much like a puppy.
I lead him to the balcony as the rays of suntry to find their way through the clouds that float over Midgar. The sky changes its hues and sunrays even reach us for a moment, just a while before the sun hides behind the clouds again.
I put my hand on Zack's shoulder as we watch the sunrise over Midgar. Rarely does the sun shine so brightly in this industrial part of Gaia, and so, rarely does a hero like rise Zack, rise to his future glory at such young age.
I'll guide you, Zack.
I promise.