There was nothing left for her on the ark, nothing for her to look back to now that she was plummeting straight to the earth with 99 other delinquents. She promised herself that she would leave every negative part of her life right in the sky where it belonged, to no longer haunt her as she made her descent to the ground. Going to the ground meant a clean slate for Merit. She didn't care about the risk of radiation; she only cared about escaping the prison sentence that was The Ark.
Merit had lost the only person that meant something to her almost two years ago. That person was her father, James Murdock. He was her everything; a loving father, provider, and best friend. He was always there to guide his ever stubborn daughter with great wisdom and patience.
Merit's father was also a member of The Ark guard and was a skilled fighter, passing down his love of martial arts and boxing to Merit. The time they spent training together held a special place in Merit's heart. He taught Merit that fighting wasn't about ego or power, but it was about inner strength, humility, and discipline. He stressed the importance of morality when it came to martial arts. He never wanted Merit to go around looking for a fight or abusing her skill, especially over weaker people. He would always say, "Just because you have power doesn't mean you have to use it" and "there is true strength in vulnerability."
Merit saw her father as a hero among many villains aboard The Ark. He had a kind spirit, never abusing his position of power and often going the extra mile to make sure that Ark residents were safe. He even went as far as giving up his own rations in order to secure the proper medicine that Murphy needed when he fell ill as a child.
He was the type to stand up for the little guy and he didn't always agree with the way that rules were enforced aboard The Ark. Instead of using his title to manipulate people, he used it to help and protect them, often confronting turncoat guards on their corruption. This obviously didn't sit well with said guards. He never actually broke the law or misused resources, but the council felt that the way he handled things often undermined their authority.
In the end, he was floated with two other guards for supposedly conspiring to overthrow the chancellor, with proper evidence submitted from Commander Shumway to councilman Kane.
Even in his final moments, Merit remembered her dad as an unwavering pillar of strength and dignity. He didn't even fight when they dragged him away to the airlock to be floated. Even as Merit wailed and begged for him to fight back, he wouldn't. He stood tall and took his punishment without dropping a single tear.
Merit was never really close to her mother and their relationship only seemed to further deteriorate after her father's death. When Merit was sent to lock up, her mother never even bothered to visit her. Perhaps, she was just too ashamed or too torn up to lose a husband and a daughter within the same month.
Suddenly the memory of her father's final moments came rushing back, his last words ringing painfully in her mind, "Find forgiveness, if only for yourself." What did that even mean? How could she forgive him when he left her so easily? Everything he taught her and every bit of hope he instilled in her had been sucked out of Merit the moment her father flew out of that airlock.
Murphy noticed the blank stare on Merit's face and nudged her out of her stupor then said, "You seem calm."
"That's one way to put it," Merit replied.
Next to her late father, John Murphy was Merit's closest companion. They grew up together and even shared some of their toughest struggles together, including the executions of both of their fathers. Murphy seemed to always be present in her life's most important moments and today was no different.
"Think we'll get slammed by the radiation?" Murphy asked.
"Who knows, maybe we'll all get super powers," Merit joked, earning a chuckle from Murphy.
Joking in the face of death didn't seem like the logical response, but it seemed like the easiest way to cope. Laughing masked the sting of fear and uncertainty that the current situation brought.
The truth was, Merit probably had a better chance facing the radiation soaked Earth rather than the council and, either way, she was possibly facing death. At least, there was the hope of an escape if the Earth was actually livable.
"Still planning to bail once we hit the ground?" Murphy continued.
"You think I'm going to waste my time hanging around a bunch of lowlives when there's a whole world out there to explore?"
Merit had no intention of sticking around with the other criminals once the dropship landed. With so much to see and do, she only planned to hang around long enough to stock up on provisions so she could journey out on her own.
"Yeah, I figured," Murphy sighed. "Well, let's hope it's smooth sailing from here."
It was anything but smooth sailing and after a turbulent landing, Merit was ready to hit the ground running.
When the doors of the drop ship opened, Merit was taken aback by the utter beauty of the Earth. It was more breathtaking than the pictures she'd seen in books. Taking in the sights, smells and scenery was creating a sensory overload. There was an abundance of fresh air and lush greenery along with mountain peaks that made for a picturesque location. The sky was incredibly blue and Merit felt the sunshine on her skin, embracing her like a warm hug. Everything about the Earth was impeccable and she wanted everything it had to offer.
She couldn't have been more excited and ready to tackle the adventures that awaited her on this brand new terrain. That was until she heard a blonde girl, Clarke Griffin, announce that they had landed on the wrong mountain, at least, a day's hike away from any supplies. Merit wanted to be disappointed, but she had grown accustomed to the curve balls that life continually threw at her.
"Shit, can't the council do anything right?" Merit huffed while kicking up dirt.
"Guess you're sticking around after all," Murphy said, draping his arm across Merit's shoulders.
"Just until the supplies get here." Merit playfully shrugged away Murphy's arm. "You better enjoy my company while you still can."
"I've seen enough of your face for a lifetime," Murphy teased.
"You know, you could come with me."
"Or you could just stay here."
As much as Murphy cared about Merit, he couldn't bring himself to go along with her plan. They didn't know enough about the ground to just wander off on their own. Besides, there were no adults and no authority figures to dictate to them on the ground which was good enough for him. He just wanted to relish in his new found freedom.
"And just wait for those assholes from The Ark to come down? No thanks," Merit finished.
Merit didn't mind taking on this new world alone but she honestly wished Murphy would tag along. She didn't want to leave him behind but she would never be able to move on from her father's death by staying around.
"I'll catch you later. I'm going to look around," Merit said, leaving Murphy's side.
Merit searched the dropship and the surrounding area for any materials that could be useful. She managed to stash some seat belts and fabric from the parachute, in hopes of fashioning a backpack, as well as scraps of drop ship metal to create a pocket knife.
In the midst of her search, Merit noticed a small commotion growing over who would go to Mount Weather to retrieve the supplies. In that dispute, Merit saw a would-be leader emerge. His name was Bellamy Blake. He looked like your typical bad boy with a chip on his shoulder; dark hair, tan, and freckle-faced with a smug disposition. He managed to get a majority of the delinquents to rally behind him as he barked at Clarke and Wells about how the privileged should do the work for a change. Murphy only aided the situation by taunting Wells and ultimately injuring his leg in a minor scuffle. Another boy, Finn, was able to step in and finally defuse the situation.
Merit only looked on silently as the scene unfolded. In this situation, Merit knew that Clarke was right, but she decided not to side with either party. This fight was really none of her business and she figured it was best not to get involved. She didn't care who retrieved the supplies as long as they brought them back to camp.
Something about the situation that did peak her interest was Murphy's behavior. She knew that her friend was cheeky in nature, but he wasn't a bad guy. He was obviously acting out and using the tough guy persona to his advantage. Merit feared he might lose his head in their new found autonomy.
Merit decided to confront Murphy about the way he was mistreating Wells. Murphy had gone off with his crew of miscreants after the confrontation between the classes had been resolved. If she knew anything about Murphy, it was the fact that he didn't like being challenged in front of his peers, so she motioned him away from his group to speak privately.
"Sharpened a piece of metal from the drop ship. Cool huh?" Murphy said, marveling at his own handiwork. Merit only responded with a look that Murphy knew too well. "Okay, what's with the look?"
"Quit being a dick to Wells," Merit said, crossing her arms.
"You're kidding, right?" Murphy said with a laugh, surveying Merit's face once more. Her expression never changed and Murphy knew she meant business. "I can't believe you're sticking up for him. You do remember what his father did?"
"That had nothing to do with Wells."
"He should pay for his father's sins. The way my father paid for mine," Murphy said, defensively.
Merit didn't really know Wells Jaha, but she knew that he didn't deserve the treatment that he was receiving. This was a typical case of guilty by association and Wells didn't deserve to pay for the evils that his father had committed. The Chancellor clearly had no remorse if he was willing to send his own son to the ground to possibly die.
Merit proceeded with caution, "I think that it's best if you just give the guy a break."
"You don't always know what's best for me, Merit," Murphy snapped.
"John, you know that's not what I meant."
Merit knew that this was a sore subject for her friend and she didn't want to upset him, but she lacked the tact it took to calmly approach the situation. She had the tendency to come off as pushy when it came to giving Murphy advice and he always seemed to take her frank nature in the wrong way. They were both hotheads and that was part of why they understood one another, but it often resulted in their personalities clashing. In the end, she was only trying to keep her cohort out of more unnecessary trouble.
"Down here I don't have to listen to anyone, especially you. So just lay off," Murphy said, turning his back to Merit and returning to his group of friends.
"Murphy," Merit called out after him, only to be ignored.
She knew it was best to just leave him be, as Murphy had a certain way of handling arguments and reasoning with him wasn't an option at this point in time. He was the type to come to his own conclusions in his own time. He would return on his own terms once he cooled down.
Merit walked back to the drop ship to see that a team was finally being assembled to go retrieve the supplies. She turned around abruptly at the sound of approaching footsteps only to crash face first into a young brunette. They both fell to the ground, Merit's freshly scavenged items scattering across the dirt. Bellamy came running over and quickly helped the brunette up.
"O, are you okay?" he asked while meticulously looking the girl over for any bumps or bruises.
"Bell, I'm fine," the girl said, dusting herself off.
Bellamy turned his furrowed gaze to Merit who was still sitting in the dirt. "Why don't you watch where you're going?"
Merit wanted to respond but her voice seemed to be caught in her throat. Bellamy's brashness caught her completely off guard. They hadn't even been properly introduced and this punk was already scolding her, not to mention, over something that wasn't even her fault. She shouldn't have expected much from him after seeing the way he had spoken to Clarke earlier.
"I ran into her," the brunette said, extending a hand out to Merit. "I'm sorry about that. I'm Octavia."
"Murdock...Merit Murdock," Merit said, receiving Octavia's hand and pulling herself up from the ground.
Octavia and Bellamy were the only siblings aboard The Ark. Since that broke the one child per family law, Bellamy spent most of his life hiding and protecting his baby sister. Merit could understand where his protective nature came from, but that still didn't excuse his rude behavior.
Even after Octavia made the effort to correct the situation, Bellamy decided to ignore the facts - and Merit for that matter - then began to lecture Octavia about being more careful. Once Merit was no longer an imminent threat to Octavia's health then it was like she didn't really exist in Bellamy's eyes.
The siblings were arguing about whether or not Octavia was allowed to join the group headed out for a supply run while Merit was awkwardly scrambling to pick up her belongings in the middle of it. Merit couldn't help but listen in on the argument. This guy seemed like a testosterone driven meathead but at least, it sounded like he really cared about the safety of his younger sibling. This one redeeming quality still wasn't enough to keep Merit from wanting to knock his freckled-face into another universe.
In the end, Octavia won the debate. Her big doe eyes were no match for her big brother, so he decided to let her go even though he hated letting her out of his sight.
Merit was placing the last of her scraps back into her newly crafted backpack when Octavia spoke to her, "Hey, you should come too."
"Me?" Merit asked a bit confused. She was busily wiping away the dirt from her knees and back of her pants when she looked up to find Bellamy's eyes giving her a disapproving look. He didn't look away when she noticed him staring. She couldn't tell if he was disgusted, annoyed or a combination of the two, but his expression was enough to make her feel quite uneasy. She hadn't done anything to this guy yet it was as if her very presence disturbed him.
"Yes you, now come on," Octavia said, grabbing Merit by the arm and dragging her off towards the rest of the group.
Merit spent the next few minutes getting better acquainted with the group. Of course, there was Octavia, the "girl under floor" who lived for sixteen years in isolation and was now literally busting out. Then there was Clarke, who the delinquents had spitefully crowned "princess" because of the class position she held aboard The Ark. Next, there were the Wonder Twins, Monty and Jasper, who seemed to be attached at the hip and heavily armed with corny yet charming jokes. Finally, there was Finn, the long-haired, adventurous, heartthrob that Octavia seemed to be currently fawning over. Merit wasn't very skilled when it came to social situations, but these people seemed nice enough and she didn't mind sticking around a little longer to get to know them.
"I just wanted to say sorry about my brother," Octavia started.
"It's no big deal but thanks," Merit said with a shrug.
It wasn't Octavia's fault that her brother was impolite, but Merit was happy to see that one of the two siblings had some manners.
"I've never seen you around before. What were you in for?" Finn asked curiously.
"Uh..well...I-" Merit stuttered.
Everything that she had tried so hard to bury deep inside of her could come bubbling up with that one question. She'd rather put everything that happened on The Ark behind her and not let her tarnished past resurface.
"Why don't you mind your business, spacewalker," Murphy said, reappearing from some nearby brush.
Merit felt relieved to see Murphy. He always seemed to show up just when she needed him and she was thankful.
"We should get going. We're losing daylight," Clarke said, urging the group to get moving.
The group began to head out but before Merit could join them Murphy gently grabbed her arm then said, "Can I talk to you for a sec?"
"Merit, are you coming or what?" Octavia called back.
Merit looked back and forth from her longtime friend to the group of five possibly new friends. She wanted so badly to explore but she knew that whatever Murphy had to say was probably more important. Exploring could wait another day and so could new friendships.
"Go on without me. I'll catch up later," Merit called back, waving her hands goodbye.
She watched as the group scampered off into the dense forestry before turning back to her good friend, Murphy. He seemed to have cooled down from the earlier confrontation.
"About earlier," Murphy started, slowly.
"I wasn't trying to tell you what to do. I was just looking out for you," Merit cut in.
"I get it but I don't always need you looking over my shoulder."
Murphy was completely capable of making his own decisions, but what kind of friend would Merit be if she didn't give him her honest opinion. She just had to understand when to bite her tongue with him. That was just the natural balance of their friendship. They both could dish it but neither of them could take it.
"I just wanted you to know that even if we disagree, I still have your back," Murphy continued.
"I know and thanks for what you did back there."
Once again it was Murphy to the rescue. Merit was glad that even when things got rocky between them, Murphy was still willing to keep her secret and come to her defense.
"Don't mention it," Murphy responded.
This was their vague way of apologizing to each other without having to actually say it. Both were stubborn with hard exteriors but deep inside they really valued each other's friendship.
"So, you're friends with those guys now?" Murphy said in reference to the group that went out for the supply run. He was looking down and drawing circles in the dirt with his boot.
"Why? Are you jealous or something?" Merit said with a sly grin.
"Don't kid yourself. We both know I'm your only friend."
After rendezvousing with Murphy, Merit decided to explore the area around the camp in hopes of familiarizing herself with the area. She could take as much time as she needed and she realized she didn't have to rush into things as she had planned. It was calming to just be able to climb a tree and observe nature's beauty for a while. For one moment she was able to take a breath of relief and feel the release of not being imprisoned. Perhaps, Murphy had a point in strictly enjoying their freedom. Time surely permitted them with a much-needed break.
Later that night, when Merit returned back to camp, a large group of delinquents had gathered at the beck of Bellamy Blake. He managed to persuade them to take off their bracelets. Wells was trying to keep everyone from removing their bracelets as it was the only way to communicate with The Ark now that the communication system in the drop ship was broken. Bellamy, once again, gave a passionate and convincing speech that won the crowd over. He had them eating out of the palm of his hand with his "whatever the hell we want" philosophy.
Once again, Merit didn't participate but only watched in entertainment at how easily manipulated these kids were. However, she couldn't really blame them for following Bellamy. He was a charismatic speaker who knew all the right words to say and how to say them to get people to agree with him. He was observant and analytical. Merit could see the wheels constantly turning in his head whether he was speaking, listening or watching. He could think on his feet. He was also ridiculously intense when it came to things that he was passionate about. These kids needed someone who was fearless and confident enough to lead them, someone like him. Someone had to step up and Bellamy was the one to do. Merit had to commend Bellamy for taking on that responsibility even though she didn't agree with his chaotic system. The delinquents could choose to blindly follow him if they wanted, but she wasn't going to.
Murphy was there too. He had quickly become Bellamy's right hand, aiding him in removing bracelets. Murphy acting macho around his male friends wasn't anything new, but he always took on a gentler persona around Merit. She decided not to pester him about his actions since they already agreed to disagree. She chalked it up to him letting off some much-needed steam.
As Merit continued to watch, she felt slight drops of water fall against her face. She looked up to notice a nice rain shower as thunder began to bellow. The delinquents started rejoicing for the gift of fresh water and the odd tribal gathering ceased promptly.
Merit wanted to take advantage of the rainfall by bottling it, but the experience itself was completely distracting. It was hard to react sensibly when feeling raindrops on your skin for the very first time. Taking a cue from her good pal Murphy, Merit threw her arms open and embraced the raindrops on her skin. It felt cleansing and pure. Something about it gave her the truest smile she had in years and she suddenly felt refreshed. She closed her eyes and let the rain wash over her, freeing her of all her inhibitions. It was as if the rain washed away all the muck that that The Ark had left behind on her spirit.
After she had spent an ample amount of time reveling in the wonders of Mother Nature, Merit decided to come back to reality and find some sort of container to store the rainfall. She was wiping the water from her face and looking around the area for a proper receptacle when she saw a hand hold one out to her. She grabbed a hold of it without looking up, but the hand held on tight.
"Not even a thank you? Wow, Murdock, you're clumsy and you have no manners," the gruff voice called out.
Merit looked up to find none other than Bellamy Blake on the other end of the makeshift container, still being rude and obnoxious. She was surprised that he had even remembered her name after the way he had treated her earlier in the day. She didn't understand why he was even talking to her let alone offering her assistance.
"You have some nerve," Merit said, rolling her eyes. She once again tugged against the canteen but Bellamy still maintained a firm grip on it. "Are you going to give it to me or are we going to play tug of war all night?"
"It's yours if you take your bracelet off," Bellamy said with a smirk.
"In that case, keep it," Merit said, releasing her hold on the container.
There was always a catch and Bellamy's kindness wasn't without an ulterior motive. Like the other criminals, Merit hadn't given too much thought about the bracelet. She wasn't partial to taking it off or keeping it on as she didn't care who thought she was alive or dead on The Ark. However, if keeping it on annoyed Bellamy Blake then that seemed like a good enough reason for her.
"Don't you want to liberate yourself and be free from the tyranny of the ark?" Bellamy inquired.
"No, I'm good."
Merit made her way back to the dropship and was busily scrounging through pieces of scrap metal when she found something fitting for her needs. Bellamy had followed her there, still trying to push his agenda.
"What do you have left up there? After what they did to your father-"
"Who told you that?" Merit interrupted. She froze immediately and was almost shaking with anger. This guy had no right to bring up her father or use his death as leverage to get her on his side.
"Murphy thought you would be open to the idea because of what happened to your father."
"I'm not. So, don't ask me again and sure as hell don't mention my father again," Merit said before storming out of the drop ship.
How could Murphy do this to her? He was supposed to be her confidante and she trusted him to keep her secrets. Murphy had broken the promise of never bringing up the topic of her father outside of their friendship and Merit was greatly disappointed, to say the least.
Her rage sent her sprinting far off into the dark and damp night. She didn't notice how bad she was shivering until she stopped running. She sank breathlessly to the ground against a giant tree and slammed her fists into the wet earth. Merit clenched her fists in an attempt to keep herself from crying. Then there was that image of her father again and those pointless words about forgiveness which proved to be too much. The tears began to stream down her cheeks and mix seamlessly with the rain.
Merit blamed her father. If he would've only fought for his life then she wouldn't be in this tragic predicament and she wouldn't have to seek forgiveness.
Merit had finally let her feelings catch up with her and overwhelm her. Now was not the time to allow her emotions to get the best of her and her moment of weakness had gotten her into a dangerous situation. Not only was she soaking wet and cold, but it had gotten too dark to possibly find her way back to camp. She felt extremely stupid for allowing the words of one young man to bother her. He hadn't even said anything detrimental and it was her fault for being so sensitive about her father. She stomped her foot in frustration and noticed the clink of metal under her boot. Brushing back leaves and soil, Merit found a sturdy trapdoor.
There was a struggle to get the rusty hatch open but when she did, it revealed a ladder. She carefully climbed down the dark hole which led to an old bunker that was still intact. It was as if it had been untouched for the entire hundred years of the nuclear fallout. She managed to feel around and luckily find a flare to light her way. There was a bed and that was enough for Merit. At least, she would be warm and dry for the night.
Once the sun rose, Merit was easily able to find her way back to camp. The first person she saw upon returning to camp was Murphy, who was, in fact, the last person she wanted to see. After the mentally and physically exhausting night she endured, she didn't have the energy to deal with him. She decided to sweep whatever qualms she had with him under the rug for the time being.
"Where've you been? I've been looking all over for you," Murphy said.
"I was taking a look around," Merit said, hardly stopping to give Murphy the time of day. She moved towards the dropship and pushed the parachute curtain back before entering. Murphy was trailing behind her.
"Are you okay? You look like crap."
"You don't say," Merit said, plopping down in a seat.
"You know what I mean," Murphy said, squatting down in front of Merit. He noticed her puffy eyes and red nose. He lowered his voice before asking, "Were you crying?"
"No. I just stayed out in the rain too long," Merit said, avoiding Murphy's eye contact.
She didn't want anyone to know about her emotional outburst from the prior night. She definitely couldn't let Murphy know that she let Bellamy get under her skin. She didn't want to provide him with any information that he could run back and tell his new boss.
"You think I haven't seen that face before?"
Of course, Murphy could see right through her lie. He had seen her cry and he had seen her hide her shame. Merit always had to come off as strong and emotionless, but Murphy knew her better than that.
"Just drop it, alright?" Merit said, growing annoyed.
"Fine, but I think I have something that'll cheer you up. Give me your right hand."
Merit gave her hand over to Murphy. He pulled out a long metal lever and began to stick it underneath Merit's wristband.
"What're you doing," Merit said, quickly pulling her hand back.
"If everyone takes off their wristbands The Ark will think we're dead. They'll never come down here if they think it's not safe."
"Do you realize how stupid that sounds?"
"I thought this is what you wanted," Murphy responded, defensively.
Until now, Merit didn't have a strong stance on the bracelets. First, it was just about ticking Bellamy off, but she realized it was bigger than that. Everyone that landed on the drop ship wasn't bad. There were people like Monty and Jasper who still had loved ones aboard The Ark. There were still innocent people on The Ark too that wanted to be reunited with their loved ones on the ground. Even though Merit had her own demons to quell, her selfishness wasn't worth keeping people away from their families. Plus, there was no way these idiots would survive much longer without help.
"It's not just about me anymore," Merit argued. "Once we're able to communicate to The Ark that conditions are livable then I'll take this thing off and bail. Not a second sooner and not a second later. Got it?"
"Suit yourself," Murphy said, throwing his hands up in defeat.
Merit wasn't exactly sure what sparked this change inside of her. Perhaps, it was just the idea of a second chance that the ground presented her with or perhaps, she was just tired of sitting idly by. She knew the ideals that her father instilled within her and he wouldn't be too proud of her sideline attitude. After all, he had devoted his entire life to serving others and if he was here in this moment he would do the same. Merit wanted to be more like him and the ground gave her the opportunity to at least try. Maybe this was the beginning of her road to forgiveness.