Angry White Boy Polka

by The Daft Hatter

I didn't love them I was in love with them. I was in love with a beautiful girl named Ruby Rhapsodes. I try not to think of her too much as I don't want to get depressed thinking of her pretty hair, her amazing body, her 31 personalities fighting inside her head. She was a little messed up in the head but I could look past it long enough to see the person I've fallen in love with.

Angry White

Boy Polka

Not sure how I want to begin this story of me and me girlfriend but I'll give it a shot. Ruby was well a ruby in the rough and I swear there isn't a day that goes by I don't miss her. She was my whole world wrapped up in a bundle of mental problems. She told me a lot about her problems what with seeing dead people, hearing voices, insomnia, manic depression, multiple personalities, and high levels of anxiety every other day… I loved her though. I will admit that I loved her. But now she's gone like everyone else. She said she had bigger and better things to do than to love a piece of shit like me. Alright that last bit is a lie. I left her back in London so she could stay safe from the people after me. Ruby loved me too. Her logic was because I accept her for her and don't make her change like every other guy she's dated. Guaranteed she's got the world record for the most ex-boyfriends ever. She's had about 31 before me. And she's told me a story about everyone how they all made her change. I think this post would make more sense if I explain how I met the girl in the first place. And Ruby if by some miracle you're reading this please stop reading and come find me I miss you. I think the story would make more sense from Ruby's point of view since she recorded every day she's existed since she was 16 in a journal she left with me. By accident of course. So bear with the writing hers not mine. I also think I might make this a multiple post and have chapters so consider this post chapter 1.

Chapter 1: Get your hands off my woman!

Dear diary, its day number 10,227. The date is October 31st, 2004. No mental relapses to record. Happy birthday to me. Personality: Semi-psycho, Demi. (See personality chart for dynamics and though processes for Demi on pg. 5)

I am so done with Frankie like oh my god… I get it now the thirty-second time is the charm obviously since the first thirty didn't work I mean for Satan's sake I've been through thirty boyfriends and I'm twenty-eight. I just want a fucking guy to not look at me be like I'ma totally tap the crap outta you then I'm going so make you change. Rather than recording this day as another rant about my thirty-first boyfriend let me tell what did happen today. I was out with Frankie at some bar again because he wanted to see some band playing but I knew it was because the bartender here was a busty crustacean. She had a fish face, huge boobs and fingers longer than Slenderman's arms. Honestly what was her deal? So as we were sitting there this guy was announcing the band coming on in a few minutes and I think I'll switch to story mode for this next bit.

"Frankie any way you could maybe I don't know take me some place nicer for my birthday? You know how I feel about bars." I spoke in a rather angered tone looking over the scotch put in front of me. The cup was dirtier than my glasses. My mind only dreaded what my food would look like when it came out.

"I know luv, it's perfectly fine! It's a great band an' I 'ope ya luv them as much as I do!" Again he was ignoring me. I'm going to kick his ass to the curb one of these days. Before I pushed my glass to the side some guy put his hand down to block me waving down the bartender. So busty crustacean walks over with a tray with cups on it filled with strange liquids that she somehow manages to dump on me. Unless she was a mind reader there was no way she could have known about the crustacean comments. So here I sat covered in strange scented alcohol and my boyfriend however did nothing. The guy on the other side of me sure as hell did something.

"Oi! I think ya owe this luv 'ere an apology fer spillin' all those drinks on 'er!" He shouted at the bartender who turned and looked at me with one those 'oh who the fuck cares?' faces. I was annoyed until the guy next to me turned giving me some napkins.

"Uh thanks really not trying to sound sarcastic or anything but this is the nicest thing anyone has given me today." I looked up at him for a brief second before rolling my shirt up in the napkins. He looked at me funny as the bartender put a beer down in front of him winking. I guess this busty crustacean was a bit of a whore. The guy shot her a look making a grossed out face at her newly revealed horse teeth.

"You're welcome luv anythin' else I con do fer ya?" He shot me a sexy smile but not before he could spit up the beer he was given all over the counter. I guess this bar is crappy after all.

"Unless you can get rid of this asshole next to me I don't think you could do anything else." I rolled my eyes glaring at Frankie.

"Wot is 'e causin' problems fer ya luv? 'Ow about ya come sit wif me an' me mates I bet we could show ya a bettah time than that bloke." His offer was tempting but I knew that if I left this spot Frankie would have my head.

"I would if I could and I know that I should but won't because I can't. It might be my birthday but so far I haven't had the chance to make one decision myself!" I grumbled rather angrily.

"Awright luv I gotta go time fer me to go put on a show fer this lot I'll be seein' ya. 'Appy birfday by the way." He walked off to the stage joining his bandmates picking up a base off of one of the stands on the stage. I couldn't help but smile though no one said happy birthday to me all day, not even my boyfriend. Frankie sat there awestruck the whole show with a firm grip on my hand. I enjoyed the show yes BUT I didn't want to have to sit there like Frankie's fucking dog or something. He always did this when we went to shows or movies because he claimed he wanted me to stay focused. I was so done at this point I started to try to rip my hand out of his grasp. He noticed.

"Ruby wot tah fuck are yu tryin' to do?" He asked glaring daggers at me.

"I don't want you holding onto me like some kind of little kid who's going to get lost. Now let go of my god damned hand!" His grip tightened to a point he was cut off circulation to my hand as I tried to pull away. As these events were going down the band had finished playing and that guy from earlier who was playing base walked back over as Frankie slapped me across the face. If any other personality had taken over today I would have slit his throat for that but Demi is a sex craving lunatic not a murderer.

"Oi mate I think this luv would rathah ya not be doin' that to 'er." The guy shot a look at Frankie then one to me.

"It's none of yur business!" Frankie was drunk now, I could tell from the way he was slurring his words. He took a beer bottle smashing it off the bar pointing it toward the other guy. God damn it Frankie! The bassist got into a fighting stance before getting slashed across the face with the beer bottle. Frankie then got a swift punch to the face as I ducked under my barstool. A fight broke out soon after with bottles flying and chairs smashing. It was a sight to see. Waddling under the barstools I tried to make my way to the door only to be pulled back by my hair.

"Ahhhhh! Hey you sick fuck let go of me!" I shouted as hair started to pull out of my scalp. With tears forming in my eyes I continued to scream in pain. Whoever was pulling on my hair soon let go after I heard a screech of pain. It was probably Frankie trying to get a hold of me. Continuing my waddling to the door was again halted short when I had a hand put over my mouth.

"Luv follow me an' I'll be sure tah get ya outta 'ere in one piece." It was the bassist whispering loudly in my ear. I nodded silently while being pulled out from under the bar ducking and dodging along with him making it out the back entrance with his bandmates.

"Oh my god broskii I owe you one." I sighed in relief feeling the back of my head checking for blood.

"Yu ok?" The tall lanky blue haired boy walked over to ask. I checked my hands before looking up at him smiling.

"I'm good." He smiled back, I like him he's cute. It was then we saw blue and red lights flashing off in the distance. The bassist grabbed my hand pulling me along into a jeep type car with the license plate 'Geep' on it.

"I ain't dealin' wif no cops tonight. Eithah way I think it's 'bout time we 'eaded back tah Kong Studios. Wont a lift 'ome luv?" He pulled out of the parking lot like a bat outta hell flying down the street at break neck speeds. Sadly this car had no 'oh shit bars' to grab onto so here I was jammed in the middle between their drummer and the singer who asked me if I was ok earlier. I didn't have time to reply as the bassist took a super sharp right turn almost tipping the car over; through a set of gates we were driving through a cemetery. When I saw the building up on the hillside I had a feeling I wasn't getting ride home just yet. The car pulled into a garage alongside a van type car and a Winnebago off to the side. Everyone then hopped out of the car except for me and the bassist.

"So… that ride home? I think I'm going to have to decline on account of I left my purse in Frankie's car it's got everything in it except my cellphone." I explained with one of those 'well shit' faces.

"It's awright luv no worries got plenty a' space 'ere at Kong. Unless ya'd rathah spend tah night wif me in me winney?" If I hadn't taken backseat to Demi I would have said otherwise but if you check the reference page it's as I said Demi is sex craving lunatic. Hopefully I don't get another memory blank and wakeup with rope burns around my neck again.

"Sleeping with you in the Winnebago sounds like fun. But first I need to know if you have a shower I can borrow? I'm still covered in liquor from that busty crustacean back at the bar." He laughed a bit and took a sniff in my direction realizing my white shirt was now see-through since it was still wet. He stuck his tongue out in a sexy manner. Reminding myself it was Demi and Rhonda's choice to wear the black lace lingerie Sammie bought me at Victoria's Secret before we broke up. Information about Rhonda on page 25 and 26 of this journal.

"Awe but ya smell so luvly luv." Ignoring my instincts and thoughts I climbed into the front seat next to him smiling at him flirtatiously. He climbed out of the car walking over to the passenger's side opening the door for me. This night was going to be a nightmare whether I remembered it or not. Getting out of the car he took my hand leading me over to his Winnebago. The inside wasn't as bad I as I had imagined, the sheets on the bed looked like they could use a change though. To be honest it looked like a stereotypical RV type vehicle.

"I know I smell great why don't you come over here and prove it to me." The sexy talk was now in full swing. It was then the bassist put on a Beatles record and sauntered over to the bed with two beers in hand. Handing me one he popped the lid off with a bottle opener.

"I think luv we can relax a bit then get tah the fun stuff latah as I am interested in knowin' all 'bout ya." Taking a swig of the beer I laid back on the bed propping myself up with my elbows.

"Why would you want to know about me? I'm no one…special." God damn it Demi stop being a little whore!

"Well ya got a pretty face an' tah rest of ya ain't bad either. I nevah got ya name luv not like it mattahs though aftah I do wot I'm thinkin' 'bout doin' tah ya." Oh god… hook line and sinker.

"Name's Ruby Rhapsodes and you?"

"Murdoc Niccals an' I do believe ya've waited long enough fer this." He climbed on top of me chugging the rest of his beer me doing the same before we started a heated furious make out session. After my shirt came off my mind went blank and I had a memory fade out and remembered nothing of the whole night. So I'll just skip ahead to day number 10,228.

I'll get back to the story in a minute but I did want to say me and Ruby had a crazy night filled with lotsa romance and good stuff. I won't talk about any of that in case any of me fans out there are under 16. So yeah to the next entry for day number 10,228.

Dear diary, its day number 10,228. The date is November 1st, 2004. Memory blank to record during the heated make out session last night Personalities: The original: Ruby and Anais. (See personality chart for dynamics and though processes for myself on pg. 1 and pg. 12 for Anais) Making note manic depression to record on an extra low today.

When I woke up I looked around the room to have brief flashbacks of the previous evening. I was with Murdoc in his Winnebago lying under a thin sheet wearing his boxers and t-shirt. My crotch was in pain but not a bad kind of pain and my wrists felt like they were on fire. Looking down I had rope burns. What in the name of all things medical happened last night? I glanced to the side to find Murdoc with his head thoroughly plastered on my right boob sleeping soundly along with his hands wrapped tightly around my waist. If I had to take a backseat to Demi again I would have been a bit angrier but it was then I got slapped with the depression fan. I needed my medication or I would not be able to make it through the rest of the day. I have a feeling Frankie's car was towed last night after getting arrested. Assuming he spent the night in jail. I then took a sniff and found the whole room stunk of alcohol. Also there was something sticky on my legs and I had a gut feeling I knew what it was. I wanted to wake up Murdoc but my energy levels were sapped and all I had the urge to do was lay here and sleep the whole day away… I hate manic depression. Feeling him move next to me I looked to see Murdoc waking up.

"Good morning Murdoc…" I sighed sounding more depressed than needed to be staring at the roof of the Winnebago before the sounds of the record player letting us know the music was finished; I wonder how long it was left on last night.

"Mornin' luv 'ow'd ya sleep? I mean we made tah 'hole winney shake an' rattle last night," He chuckled to himself unwrapping his arms from me, "Ya really seemed to enjoy yaself it woz rathah hot."

"I need my medication. Also can you tell me in exact detail what happened last night? I don't remember anything after when you took my shirt off." I rolled my head over to look at him. The look of exasperation on his face was priceless almost like I had offended the queen or something.

"'Ow can ya not remembah last night Ruby?! I fucked ya fer three damn 'ouahs strait till ya fell asleep on me bed!" I did feel bad about it because although Demi is a sex craving lunatic I do enjoy having good sex from time to time myself.

"Maybe you just fucked me so hard it wiped my memory…" I laughed to myself, "But seriously I need to get home and get my medication or I will lay here on this bed like this sighing deeply periodically maybe even cry once or twice until tomorrow or even the next day depends on how long this depression spell lasts…" He looked at me funny before sighing and getting off the bed putting some pants on along with a shirt. Before grabbing his keys he picked up my clothes throwing them at me.

"Seriously luv ya remembah nothin' of last night?"

"Nothing at all it happens to me a lot more than you would think. You're lucky you didn't wake up to find me bawling my eyes out crying about the fact I can't even remember my own name. It's very complicated and I'd rather not waste your time explaining it. I'm sure I enjoyed last night it would have been better if I was in control but that's also something I could explain later if you still want to interact with me after today." I sighed again sitting up taking Murdoc's clothes off me getting dressed in my regular clothes.

"Uh…. Righto Ruby. Well ya all set got everythin' ya came with?" He gave me a funny look before climbing out of the Winnebago walking toward the car we were driving in last night.

"I didn't come with much. It better not be sunny out." I got up and trudged along climbing in the other side of his car. When he pulled out of the garage I used my phone to find out Frankie's car was towed all the way to impound lot all the way on the other side of town. Oh this was going to be a beautiful day because the sun was out and shining the birds were chirping it was magical! Dear benevolent being in charge of the universe… please kill me. Murdoc told me he could give me a ride to the impound lot and home provided I agreed to owe him one more. He considered the previous I.O.U. clear after last night even though he was kind of raging hard I don't remember last night. Getting out of the car when we reached the impound lot I was face to face with a teenaged girl working the front desk for the whole lot. She was filing her nails while simultaneously painting them. I didn't want to deal with her or anyone not even Murdoc, but sometimes you have to do shit you don't want to. I stood there in front of her desk waiting for her to say something before I did since my mood was shot. Five minutes passed before she looked up to see me standing there. Murdoc said he would wait in the car and keep it warm for me.

"Can I 'elp ya?" She snapped rather angrily. If she did that again I swear Anais would take over and I really don't need her doing that with my manic depression at its first all-time low in five months. Anger and deep depression don't mix well.

"Yeah my ex-boyfriend's car was towed last night here and all I need to do is go inside the car and get my purse." She continued with her filing as if she was ignoring me. Please benevolent god in charge kill me now…

"Don't care not my problem unless ya are gonna pay the fees tah un-impound it. Ya got until Friday then tah 'hole lot is goin' up fer auction contents included. So yeah like yer purse." She snapped again. Oh she was treading on thin ice.

"Look I can't afford to un-impound his damn car not like I want to anyway. But I just need to get my purse out of the backseat so I can get into my apartment and take my medication."

"Like I said not my faquin' problem. So pay the fees or get out and I'll be callin' me manager or tah cops if ya don't." Her snappiness was irritating me. Murdoc walked in before he witnessed Anais take over. Anais analysis on page 12. I grabbed the chick by her shirt hoisting her up off the chair so high her feel were dangling.

"Listen here you little shit. I need to get home and take my fucking medication or else my fucking blood is going to be all over your little shit covered hands. So either let me get mypurse out of Frankie's fucking car or someone will be dying today and it sure as hell isn't going to be me if you keep up with you fucking nail primping and your god damned snappy little rebellious fucking teenager attitude. Don't even fucking think of calling the police you little whore or I swear your head will go through one of the fucking windshields out there and you will have no fucking memory of what happened or why in the name of the bloody queen you were sent head first through a car's front window. So let me get out to Frankie's fucking car or there will be hell to pay you little bitch." I set her down back in the chair holding my hand out waiting for the keys. Her face was pure shock and terror. Anais was what my mood really needed today it's not like I could have snuck into the impound lot or come back later right? I'm too sarcastic for my own good sometimes. The little twat handed me the keys to his car and I stormed out of the little office getting my purse out the backseat. Storming back into the office I angrily dropped the keys back on the desk before storming out the front door back to Murdoc's 'Geep' as he called it on the way over here. Murdoc came out right after and looked at me with a 'holy shit' grin on his face. I think the only thing I like about Anais is she doesn't seem to want to hang around very long. Once I was back in control I sighed deeply with sadness climbing in the Geep.

"Didn't think anyone else in this city could get that angry luv, I must say I am impressed." He climbed in after me turning the car back on pulling out of the parking lot as I gave him directions to my building.

"Don't get used to it. There's a lot you don't know about me and I know last night you said you wanted to know all about me but I don't know if you want to. Usually you need to take me out on a date to some place nice to get food to know about all my mental problems but since you haven't kicked me out on the road and left me to hitchhike home I take it you're still interested in me right?" I looked over to him as he floored it through a stop light screaming at another car for taking a left.

"I mean ya really freaked me out this mornin' when ya said ya didn't remembah last night an' stuff but that didn't make me think anythin' less of ya. Be honest I still think yer pretty hot an' yeah I would luv tah know all 'bout ya luv." I smiled at that even if it was only a little bit because of the low mood I was in. Still I was happy that I didn't drive him away for being too weird.

"There are a lot of problems with me but I'll just state the plain three. I'm an extreme insomniac and I can't do jack shit about it since I'm allergic to the active ingredient in almost every insomnia medication on the market. Then the ones I can take don't work. So I just sleep whenever my body tells me to sleep, whether it be at three in the afternoon or even at six in the morning. Then I have manic depression I experience highs and lows in my mood and energy levels is the simplest way for me to explain. And today is the first day in a little over five months I'm experiencing a low in mood and energy levels. So that's why I've sighed a lot and been depressed today. Lastly the most important one is my multiple personality disorder. I have more than one of me inside my head understand?" I asked looking over at him before trying to continue to make sure we were on the same page.

"So 'ow many of ya do ya gots inside ya 'ead?" He looked over at me as he pulled into the parking lot of my building.

"I have exactly thirty-four personalities inside my head fighting for dominance constantly. One personality for every man I've ever dated, one for each of my parents and their desires to live their failed dreams through me, and the original me."

"Do ya ever get tired of fightin'? Ya ever just wont tah give up an' let go?"

"All the time. And no amount of medication can fix it." I sighed again this time feeling the urge to cry. Murdoc grabbed my hand and just kind of held it there awkwardly rubbing circles into my palm. Believe it or not it was rather soothing.

"Have ya changed personalities since I met ya yestahday?" We were both staring out the windshield toward the building not looking at each other.

"Yesterday Demi was in control she's a sex craving lunatic then today I woke up as myself but depressed, then the little twat at the impound lot brought out Anais who is the living embodiment of all my pent up rage and anger trapped inside. The boyfriend who gave me her is in a mental hospital getting himself treated for committing in his eyes a psychological crime. It's complicated," Things then got quite not really tense but like someone should say something kind of quiet, "I need to go take my medication now before my suicidal thoughts kick in. It's a side effect of my depression. And I don't just have the thoughts I act upon them too and really fast." Murdoc then let go of my hand fast running around the car to open the door for me. We then walked into the building going up the elevator to my apartment. I honestly wondered what Murdoc was thinking during my explanation if he thought he should just ditch me now and forget I existed or should he keep going with this relationship thing he might be trying to pursue?

Now let me interrupt the story for the moment to explain a few things:

When I first met Ruby I thought she was incredibly hot.

When we went into me winney I had the feeling something was different about her and I wanted to know more. Although I wanted sex from her the urge to fuck wasn't right away.

When she was explaining her mental problems I didn't care as long as she didn't think I was some creep who was going to use her for sex.

I really did feel bad for her though. I mean thirty-four Rubies trapped up inside her head all battling it out for control that must be a personal kind of hell even I wouldn't wish on anyone. It wasn't so much that I was trying to get her to love me it was more I wanted her to uh… I don't know I'm not good with words. I wanted her to love me on her own accord I think is the best way to put it. I mean the time we had spent together at that point was brief but I was deeply infatuated by her. After we had that rocking sex we laid there awake in the winney for another two hours talking about life and dreams and stuff. Future plans and all of the like. She told me some deep secrets, and I in return. I don't know why but that night I felt more comfortable around her then I had with anyone else in my whole life. I felt almost compelled to tell her every dark secret I had to tell. Part of it I think was I knew she wouldn't run off and go posting about it online or tell a reporter and get my face plastered all over another set of tabloids from here to the states. The other part of it? I'm not too sure. I don't remember it's also close to 5am here on Plastic Beach and I've been up all night writing this post. I think I should go to bed though I'm on page 10 in Microsoft Word already. So yeah I think I'll end it here so I can get some sleep. Oh great and there goes 2-Dents screaming about that whale again. Well keep your eyes peeled for the next chapter I'm going to bed before I pass out on the keyboard. Also Ruby disregard what I said earlier stay in London and don't come find me I don't need you getting hurt; I'm sorry I'm posting entries from your memories diary.