Here she was, looking up at the face of the woman she had fallen for. Her weakness, her light, her other half. It was odd, she thought she would be in more physical pain than this. She was the Commander of the Twelve Clans, no stranger to pain in itself, but all she could feel was the soul-crushing sadness when she looked into Clarke's eyes.
I'll be her Costia, she thought fleetingly, as her vision started to tunnel. Costia…I'll get to see her again. And Anya. Gustus… She could feel her breath slowing down and her heart lurched when she saw the tears falling down Clarke's face.
"I don't want the next commander, I want you…."
And I you. But my fight is over. May we meet again, Clarke.
XXX
When she opened her eyes, Clarke was gone, and she was lying in a grassy clearing with the sun shining down on her face, making her squint with its intensity. She tentatively rolled over to one side and placed a hand over where she had gotten shot. Pulling her fingers away and seeing no blood, she slowly stood up.
Where am I?
"You're dead, Lexa, what does it look like?" the deadpanned comment made her grin, and she turned around to see Anya. "What a horrible way to die too, there's no honor in dying like that. Trust me, I should know."
Overcome with genuine happiness to see her old friend and mentor, Lexa rushed forward to embrace Anya. "Anya. It's so good to see you again." She blinked for a second, processing the rest of the older woman's words. "What you mean you know what it's like to die like this?"
Anya sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, muttering something under her breath that Lexa could barely make out. From what she was able to understand, she would need to have a talk with Clarke…
"Clarke…" her breath hitched as she realized she wouldn't ever be able to see her again.
"So, you finally fell for the Sky Princess, did you? Costia, Gustus and I had a running bet going to see how long it would take for you two to finally get it on." Anya looked frustrated, but her frown quickly faded when she saw Lexa sink to her knees. "Hey, hey, it's okay."
"It's not okay, Anya, I finally, finally felt like I was getting somewhere with her and then…" Anya knelt down next to her and rubbed soothing circles on her back to calm her down.
"Look, I'm not gonna say that your relationship was the best, but believe me when I say we saw everything. And that girl really loves you."
Lexa pinched the bridge of her nose, "Loved me, Anya. I'm dead, remember?"
Anya grinned wolfishly and dragged her former mentee to her feet, dusting some dirt off her clothes. "There's where you're technically wrong, Heda."
She pointed to a pinpoint of light in the distance that was steadily growing brighter. Lexa followed her finger and upon seeing the light, felt an unexplainable urge to walk toward it. "What's that?"
"That is your ticket out of here. You have a choice, little one. You can stay here, and know that you're free from your duties as a commander. You'll come with me and see Costia and Gustus again, maybe get to throw another spear in the Ice Queen's chest, well played by the way, we watched that fight and Costia couldn't bear to watch."
"Or?"
"Or you walk toward that light and back into the arms of a certain blonde. You might still be the commander, or you might not. Honestly I wouldn't know. Time passes differently here." She crossed her arms. "That light won't be shining forever though. You better pick."
Lexa was torn. There was no question that ever since she had met Clarke, her world had slowly but surely collapsed around her. And yet there was some part of her that couldn't bear not seeing her face. She lived for the days the blonde smiled at her and died on the days she didn't. And the sex…
"I think you've already made up your mind, little one. Go on, it's okay. We'll still be here when your time really does come."
Smiling tearfully, she hugged Anya one last time, breathing in her scent and memorizing every touch. "May we meet again."
"May we meet again. Just do all of us a favor though and try not to die for a while yet. We have another bet running and I'll be damned if I lose to Gustus again."
"Shof up, Anya."
As she walked toward the light in front of her she could feel the pain starting to seep slowly back into her body, but she pressed onward until all she could see was white.
XXX
"Mom, did it work? Please, please tell me that you brought her back."
The blinding light faded again and all she could feel was a stabbing pain in her gut. She resisted the urge to start swearing and instead settled for a groan.
"Oh my god, oh my god, Lexa?" Lexa almost teared up again upon hearing her name fall from her lover's lips.
"Clarke?" Any other response she could've said was literally stolen from her as she felt a crushing weight settle on her chest. She let out a small chuckle, immediately regretting it when her stomach seized up. "Clarke, ouch. I should've known. There's a reason you're called Wanheda, isn't there?"
Clarke's eyes widened in fear as she immediately let go of the Commander, tears now falling freely down her face. "Your fight's not over until I say it is, Commander."