*** Disclaimer: I do not own 7th Heaven or any of its characters or settings. They belong solely to the extremely talented Brenda Hampton and Aaron Spelling.

Put Your Affairs in Order

A yellow taxicab pulls away from the Camden house, leaving Mary in the driveway. She bends down, picking up her two filled suitcases.  Her eyes begin to well up with tears, as she looks at her house. Now, it seems just like a house, rather than the home it had once been to her. The house she had grown up in, kissed him in, fallen asleep with him in, and had so many other happy times. Every room brings some memory to the surface, even the driveway.

Mary remembers walking up the driveway with Wilson after dinner at the pool hall, and her parents approaching them. Pregnant! That was absurd! She's thought about that night more often now, sometimes wishing that she really had been pregnant. Then things would have been different, they would have been closer, and he still would be with her. Or at least not where he is now, wherever he is.

She had stopped believing in God over three weeks ago, and along with that the concept of heaven. She feels even more ill at ease because she can't picture him in a better place; in her mind that place no longer exists. If there really were a God, why would He do this? Not even to her, but to Wilson. He was such a good man, responsible-gave 110% to right his one wrong. And even if God had another plan for Wilson, how could he do this to Billy? No mother and no father? He's only five years old, and already has no reason to exist, and no one to exist for.

After waiting at the train station for him for over 4 hours, I was starting to get annoyed. I was angry with him, for not showing up like he said he would. He just told me last night he wanted to marry me, and now he doesn't show?

I had been anxiously watching the door for a while, when the Colonel walked in.

"Colonel, what are you doing here?"

"Mary, I don't know how to say this to you, so I'm just going to say it. There's been an accident. Wilson is in the hospital."

Mary realizes that she can't risk standing in the driveway too much longer. She will be seen and questioned indefinitely. She wipes her eyes and walks up to the front door, awkwardly ringing the bell. A few seconds later, the door swings open, and reveals Ruthie.

"Hey Ruthie! I'm home!"

Ruthie stares at her strangely. "Mary?"

"Who else would I be?" she asks, half sarcastically and half playfully. She picks up her bags, and plops them inside the house, two and a half feet in front of the doorframe.

Annie walks in from the kitchen, and lays eyes on her eldest daughter. "Mary!" she shrieks, running up to her. She throws her arms around Mary. Strangely, she feels comforted, but that quickly subsides. She wonders if her mother knows about Wilson, and why she's home. "I didn't know that you were planning on visiting!"

"Well, actually, I'm not visiting. I was planning on moving back here, if that's OK."

"Oh, that's more than OK." She says, pulling away from Mary. She turns towards the stairs, and yells up them. "Everybody, come down here now! Mary's home!"

Mary wishes she hadn't done that. A good ol' Camden ambush, she wasn't up for one of those just yet. Eric is the first to come down the stairs, followed by Matt, Robbie, and Simon. They all welcome her home, while Mary notices that someone is missing.

"Where's Lucy?" she asks, trying not to leave her sister out. She knows she hates that.

They can hear Lucy rushing down the attic stairs. "Mom, did you call us?" she yells from the hallway upstairs. Mary runs up the stairs to her sister, both of them excited. Mary hopes that no one notices that it is forced excitement. What she really wants to do is crawl into her bed until she is over this, not embrace her closest sibling. Lucy notices that something is wrong with Mary, but refrains from asking her in front of the entire family.

"How about we all sit in the living room and talk?" Annie asks after the pair of girls greets each other.

Mary was not going to let that happen. "Actually, could I maybe take a nap first? I'm really tired, that was such a long flight."

"Oh, OK honey. Are you feeling all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, just tired."

"Ok. Well, Ruthie has taken your old bed…"

"You could use mine." Lucy chimes in. "I don't mind."

"Thanks Luce." She says, smiling at her sister.

Mary goes upstairs to the attic bedroom, and close the door behind her. She crawls into Lucy's bed, and pulls the covers up over her head. Her eyes well up with tears, and begin to fall as she falls victim to her grief within her.

The Colonel drove me to the hospital. They informed us there that Wilson was in a coma, but wouldn't tell us much more.  My initial reaction was that I killed him. I was the one who forced him to elope, forced him to leave Billy. The one man I ever really loved, the only man I could love, and my wacky plan killed him.

The next thing that raced through my head was Billy. Where was he? Was he still at their neighbors? Did he know? Should I tell him?

I turned to my grandfather for help.

"I don't know Mary. Maybe you should just leave it be. There's no reason to worry him if everything is going to be OK."

"Do you think that everything is going to be OK?"

"I don't know Mary. I really don't know."

I started to sob. The Colonel didn't even try to console me; he realized it was futile. He talked to me about Wilson before, and he knew how much I cared for him.

Mary continued to sob under the sheets, until she hears someone enter the room. She hopes its not…heck, she hopes no one ever was at the door in the first place. She stops crying, and wishes that whoever it is wouldn't bother her. She feels the person sit down on the bed, and place their hand on her.

"Mary? Are you awake?"

Mary wipes her eyes to the best of her ability, and then pulls the comforter away from her head.

"You rushed away so quickly. Is everything all right?" Lucy asks her.

"Yeah," she lied through her teeth, "I'm just really tired."

"Oh, OK. Well, you must have been busy before you left. I called you for a month and you never called me back."

"Sorry about that. I just didn't have the time."

"What were you so busy with?"

"Oh, you know, things. Working at the shelter, stuff like that."

Lucy knows she is lying to her. "Yeah. So, what's going on with you and Wilson? Weren't you two planning on getting married?"

The mere mention of his name and her eyes well up. She blinks the tears away, and struggles to answer Lucy's question. "I, we, he, uh, I really am tired. We can talk later, I promise, just you and me. I want to catch up on your life."

Lucy knows that something is up, and she's guessing it has to do with Wilson. She thought she saw tears in Mary's eyes, but it could have been just the way the sunlight from the window was hitting them. Nonetheless, she knows that Mary is not in the mood to talk, much less about her personal life, so Lucy says goodbye.

Once she is out of the room, Mary brings the covers back over her head.

As I was crying, I suddenly got this overwhelming feeling to see Wilson now. I can't describe it, but something told me it was now or by never. After arguing with the nurses for a half hour about not being family, they finally gave up and let me see him.

It was awful. He was in a coma; it was so scary. I tried to convince myself he was sleeping, but that didn't work. It was almost too much for me to look at. He had a huge cut on his forehead, his left arm was bandaged, and he had an IV attached to him. I've never been as sad as I was at that moment.

I looked around to make sure no one was coming in or anything, and I took his right hand. I started to talk to him, hoping that on some level he could hear me.

I didn't know what to say, so I sort of just rambled on and on. Its weird talking to someone you know isn't listening and won't talk back.

"Wilson, uh, its Mary in case you didn't know. Oh gosh, I don't know what to say to you. Um, I love you, and I'm sorry. This is all my fault. I never should have rushed you into marrying me. If I waited, this wouldn't have happened to you. But enough about that, onto the more important things. I- I hope you wake up. No, I need you to wake up. I love you, and I can't imagine my life without. I guess that's why I wanted to marry you. Please don't leave me. I really do love you." After I said that, I could have sworn I felt his hand move. But at any rate, I was satisfied with what I said. I felt almost at peace with him, and with this whole situation- almost. Looking back, I don't know how that was possible, but I did.