"Mama! Mama!" You'd never hear the youngest Hunt call out to Amelia in the middle of the night. Some swore their Kenzie Joy was fearless, bold, brave- not even the biggest of monsters could scare the little one. Yet, this time was different.
Her curtains were left open. Grace tucked her in last night, because Mama and Daddy were gone on a date; and she forgot to close the curtains. At first, sweet Kenzie loved being able to look at the stars. They sparkled and shined, just like Daddy had told her in all her bedtime stories.
But then the sky wasn't dark blue anymore. A really dark cloud moved into the sky, and it hid all the stars Kenzie could see. Rain began thumping against her window. Kenzie's eyes stayed glued to the scene that unfurled outside. Thunder and lightening soon joined the rain, leaving the girl up for a while.
At first, she called for her big sister. Grace came running up to find Kenzie hidden under her comforter, eyes as big as saucers and tears pouring down her pink cheeks. Grace, feeling bad, joined the littlest Hunt under the covers until she fell asleep.
Kenzie woke up again though, this time to a loud crack of thunder outside from the ongoing storm. She checked the little clock Owen had set up on her nightstand. It didn't have the six and two zeros on it like usual when Owen or Amelia woke her up.
Another crack of thunder hit outside, scaring the kid and sending her deeper into her bed. She wanted to hide. She wanted to get away from the scary thunder.
She wanted to feel safe. And so, with another try, she cried for Amelia.
"Mama! I'm scared!"
Seconds later after the second cry, Amelia quietly opened the door to find her baby girl curled up under the covers, sucking her thumb. Tears still streamed from her big blue eyes. Her body shook despite being under one of the warmest blankets in the room. She was like a baby deer without its mother, stuck in front of headlights.
"Kenzie, honey, what's wrong?" Amelia questioned with her motherly instincts kicking in. She rushed to the bed, curling herself up under the covers right next to Kenzie. She wrapped her arms around the baby girl, hoping it would help calm her down.
"There's a storm outside..."
"Yeah, I see. Did it wake you up?" The mother ran her fingers through her mini-me's waves of hair, pressing a small kiss to the side of her head. Kenzie nodded, gripping tighter onto Amelia's shirt.
Of course a storm woke the young one up. Yes, her dear Kenzie Joy was a fearless bundle of joy; but storms were the thing that sent her to her breaking point.
When Kenzie was a toddler, Amelia and Owen were stuck on-call at Grey-Sloan amidst the superstorm that hit Seattle. Their oldest three were taking the news of Amelia and Owen being stuck at the hospital quite well; but the poor babe didn't understand where her Mama and Daddy were. Maggie and Meredith, the kids' aunts, watched the kids that night and tried to soothe the baby while the storm raged outside.
Though that was almost four years ago, Kenzie practically hated storms and just wanted to be held by her Mama or Daddy when a storm was going on. This time was no exception.
"I'm so sorry, sweet Joy. What can I do to help you feel better?" Amelia pondered again.
Her eyes darted around the room, trying to find a solution to the problem at hand. Maybe one of the many stuffed animals- affectionately called stuffies by Kenzie- by the dresser could help. Or maybe a quick story from the bookcase by the door. Maybe they could put her nightlight back in for just one more night, even though Kenzie insisted she was a big girl like Grace who didn't need a nightlight.
"Can you sleep with me tonight?" Kenzie whispered again. Amelia nodded, remembering the sweet nights when Gracie, Jack, or Hudson would want Amelia to just be there with them.
"Of course, Joy. I'll stay with you. Lay down, babe." The girls snuggled down into the bed, Kenzie curled up in Amelia's side.
"Joy, where's your elephant? The one Elle gave you?" The mom looked around the bed for the small toy from Elle, the kids' cousin and Amelia's niece.
That elephant, named Blue, was one of Kenzie's most prized possessions. It was given to baby Hunt on her 1st birthday as a small gesture from Elle to her new cousin. Blue had been through countless meltdowns, car trips to Santa Monica, birthdays, and so on. That elephant was the thing that also brought Elle and Kenzie closer together.
There was about a 12 year age gap between Elle, Meredith's youngest, and Kenzie; yet, both were the closest of friends. Elle would constantly come over just to play with Kenz, or take her out on an adventure to an ice cream shop or café. Blue usually would join the two on the adventures, and keep Kenzie company while in their own little world.
"I don't know... Mama?"
"Yes, Joy?"
"Can you tell me a story?"
Amelia gave a smile, thinking about all the stories she could tell Kenzie right now. How her and Owen met, their wedding, stories about Gracie, Jack, or Hudson...
"I can. Which one do you want to hear?"
"Gracie was telling Jack how you had another baby before you met Daddy. Why isn't he here? Ya know, at our house?"
The mother felt her heart sink deeper and deeper into her chest. She never thought she'd have to tell Kenzie at this young of an age about Ben, especially in the middle of the night in the midst of a storm.
"Ben..."
"What Mama?" Kenzie now turned to face Amelia, her blue eyes staring right at her mom's.
"Benjamin Ryan Shepherd. He was my first baby, Kenz. Before Gracie, Jack, Hudson, and you... I had him down in California-"
Kenzie gasped. "That's where Auntie Addie lives! And Henry! And-"
"I know, I know, Kenz! And guess what?" Amelia laughed and waited for a reaction from Kenzie.
"What?"
"All of them knew Ben. Auntie Addie was there when he was born." Amelia added, a tear streaming from her eye. Yes, she's moved on to have four more beautiful kids; but her first ever baby... It's something she couldn't just forget about.
"Where is he? Why doesn't Ben live with us?"
"Oh Kenzie Joy, he's in heaven- where Uncle Derek and my Daddy are. You see, when Ben was born, he didn't have a brain."
Amelia watched Kenzie's eyebrows knit together. "Why didn't he have a brain?"
"I don't know, Joy. It was just the way he was made. But do you know what I call him?"
"What?"
"I call him my unicorn baby."
Kenzie giggled at the name. Unicorns were only imaginary, or that's what Jack told her at least. How could her Mama be a big girl and still believe in unicorns?
"Unicorn baby?!"
Amelia giggled along with her youngest. "Yep, he was my unicorn baby. That's my nickname for him- just like I call you Joy; and I call Grace, Gracie; and Jonathan, Jack."
"What about Hudson?!"
"Well... Hudson doesn't really have a nickname. He just wants to be Hudson. But baby Ben was my unicorn baby."
"Why was he called a unicorn baby, Mama?" Kenzie rose an eyebrow, just like Owen would if he was confused or trying to understand something. Amelia loved the fact that, though Kenzie was a mini-Amelia, she still had some of Owen's best mannerisms.
Tucking a piece of her brown locks behind Kenzie's ear, Amelia smiled. "Because when I was little like you, I believed unicorns could do magical things. I'll tell you a little secret."
The little girl's eyes became as big as saucers. Her mother was going to tell her a super special secret!
"I still think unicorns can help save people. They're like superhero unicorns."
"Are you sure Ben wasn't really a unicorn, Mama?"
Amelia laughed at the small girl. Of course, she didn't quite understand why Ben was her unicorn baby.
"No, Joy, he was an actual baby. Maybe I'll show you a picture in the morning. But even though he didn't have a brain, he helped a lot of other babies have a good and healthy life."
"How?"
"Well, I decided when Ben was still in my tummy that I was going to have all of his organs given to other babies. You remember how Daddy and I told you about how everyone has organs?"
Kenzie grinned. "Yeah! Like livers, hearts, intestines, kidney beans..."
Amelia gave another laugh. "Kidneys, Kenz. Not kidney beans."
Kenzie blushed and gripped tighter onto the comforter. Amelia placed a kiss to her forehead.
"But you're right, babe. Those are organs. And Ben still had all of those. So Sam. Auntie Addie, Jake, and a few others went to take all the organs out of Ben and gave them to babies all over the country."
"Does Daddy miss him?"
"I bet he would've. But your daddy isn't actually Ben's daddy. You guys have different dads."
"Who's Ben's daddy?"
Amelia smiled. "A very sweet man named Ryan. He went to heaven before I found out that Ben was in my tummy."
Kenzie looked back out the window. The stars now had come back after the storm calmed down. She thought about heaven , and Uncle Derek, Ben, and her Mama's daddy. She never met any of them, but Amelia always told her, her brothers, and sister that all three of the men would've loved the Hunt kids.
"Do you think they like it up there?"
"I think they absolutely love it, Kenzie Joy."
Smiling, Kenzie snuggled closer into Amelia's embrace, resting her head on her upper chest. Her mama started running her fingers back through her daughter's brown locks, admiring them as she went.
"Close your eyes, Kenz. I'll be in here when you wake up."
Both took a pause before Kenzie spoke up. "Mama, what do you think Ben would look like?"
Sighing, Amelia began to imagine what life would be like if Ben were still around. What the boy would look like, act like... Would have he been the best big brother to Grace, Jack, Hudson, and Kenzie? Would he sportsy, artsy, super smart?
"I think you would love having him as your big brother, Kenz."