A/N: I had a "beta"/editor person on this one! IsaBabisa! Exciting stuff! Originally was supposed to be part of a larger story but I couldn't find a rhythm and I think it works well as a one shot. Also wrote this before watching 3x11 and there's mention of a flu shot but I couldn't figure a way around that so it stayed so I guess you could say it's a before 3x11 story. (Because nothing I write is ever 'in verse' apparently.)
Disclaimer: Don't own. No money. ETC.
Maura watched Jane walk around her kitchen like it was hers with an adoring smile playing on her lips. She loved that Jane was so comfortable in her own home. Jane was leaning against a counter, long fingers were tapping a beat on top of the bar and her hip was resting against it halfcocked where Maura could just make out the gold badge sticking out from underneath her blazer.
"Man, Maur, you should have seen that guy's face when Frost cornered him…priceless." Jane laughed a slow easy smile on her lips. There were times when Jane really loved her job. It was hard, of course it was, but there was something – something unexplainable – about how it felt getting murderers off of the streets of her city. She loved cuffing people who thought they could take lives like it meant nothing, loved the shock on their face when they were found out a hand in the cookie-jar. It was undoubtedly satisfying and the reason she woke up and did what she did day after day. It was an amazing feeling knowing that she could give justice to the people that fought back, to those who didn't, and to the ones who didn't even get the chance. She had the best job in the world, shitty days, crappy pay and all. Jane smiled broadly at Maura showing off her impeccable teeth and the dimples in her cheeks.
And then Maura felt it again like a sudden jolt to her system, that familiar swooping sensation in the pit of her stomach that left her floundering like a fish out of water searching desperately for a breath she couldn't quite catch.
Looking at Jane, being around her lately was like diving off of a cliff into the clear lake below, all adrenaline and epinephrine and excitement. It was a strange mix of feeling alive and terrified and happy. It wasn't the first time it happened, and she knew it wasn't going to be the last because she had fallen deeply, roughly, irrevocably in love with all the things that Jane was. It felt as though it had happened decades ago even though she hadn't even known the detective that long. Love was just that powerful. And when she fell, she fell hard.
Maura turned back to the salad she was tossing trying to not let the sigh she felt building behind her lips escape. Of course it didn't start out that way. In fact it started out so small she hadn't even noticed. She admired Jane's dedication – to her job, her family, her life. And that rapidly grew into something else entirely, a whole beast on its own and the admiration grew into more. More than just an admiration of a good quality in a great friend, more than just a passing moment, more than a fleeting thought in the wee hours of a lonely night. Because it was the way Jane tried so hard to be stoic and unyielding only to have her expressive, Italian face give her away that Maura started to fall for after the admiration. Something as simple as the tiny twitch of an eyebrow was something she'd grown to love, come to look for. Then it was her body. Her tall, lean frame, the cleft in her chin, and the way she had trouble walking in a certain heel. But above it all, much like her dedication, it was her passion. Jane had the kind of passion that people should've been jealous of. She could go headfirst into danger, stand toe to toe against career-threatening lawyers…she could do anything, be anything that she needed to be when she needed to because she believed in what she was doing and she cared. And Maura could only imagine what that passion would look like directed into a love that they shared together.
She continued to toss the salad and listen as Jane spoke. She loved listening to Jane speak about her arrests. There was a near arrogance that emanated from her pores, a cockiness that dipped into her words, and a mischievous glint in her dark eyes – a post-arrest glow of sorts. But the one thing above all of those things that got Maura all twisted and turned on the inside was the knee weakening half smirk, half crooked grin that danced across Jane's lips as she talked. She wanted, more than anything, to place her lips over that half smirk, half crooked grin every time it showed itself, and it was out in full force that night. Maura couldn't help her own smile as Jane grinned broadly at her (she wanted to kiss that one too) as she made her way around the counter.
Jane reached out to gently grab both of Maura's hands. "That salad has been sufficiently tossed. Can we eat now?" She asked sticking her bottom lip out slightly.
Maura rolled her eyes because it was a normal thing to do and tried once again to ignore the quickening of her heart at Jane's touch. "Sit." She pointed to the table.
"Yes!" Jane hissed going towards the table. She kept smiling as she placed two piping hot, dripping with cheese, pieces of pizza on Maura's plate. Thursday's were their nights to just hang out as best friends, their nights to let their hair down, and had hence become Maura's 'cheat day' because Jane was usually in charge of their dinner plans which usually meant Chinese takeout or pizza or cheeseburgers or something else entirely unhealthy. No matter what happened in the week, how bad or good it was, they always had Thursday.
Maura walked over putting the salad she'd been mindlessly working on in the middle of the table. She put a fresh, cold beer in front of Jane's plate with a bottle opener she knew the other woman wasn't going to use next to it. And as per usual Jane rolled her eyes at the bottle opener before grabbing the beer and twisting the top off with her hands. She tossed the cap on the table and took a slow drink. Maura laughed shaking her head before placing the napkins on the table. They were the paper kind rather than the cloth ones that were her usual standard. Jane had insisted she buy – and use – them when they had dinner together saying that the cloth ones were far too fancy for pizza and beer. Maura had reluctantly agreed.
Jane turned to grab the bottle of wine Maura had been drinking from and filled her empty wine glass. Their arms brushed and Jane caught a whiff of a peachy, flowery scent when Maura's hair swung over her shoulder. "Is that a new perfume?"
Maura felt her face flushing at their closer proximity. "Why yes, it is."
"Mhmm." Jane nodding sniffing again. "It smells nice."
"Thank you." They sat down in their respective chairs. Maura passed the salad bowl to Jane. It was the second pout she'd gotten that night, the second time she wanted to tell Jane just exactly what that pout did to her. "You're going to eat some greens tonight, Jane." Also, the second time she ignored all of the feelings bubbling just under the surface of her skin.
"Ughh, you're almost as bad as my mother." Jane complained good naturedly as she made a show of dishing the leafy greens onto the side of her plate. "Just don't go start complaining about how skinny I am or how I need to find someone to take care of me, alright?"
Maura nodded, fighting the urge to tell Jane that she was perfect and to not listen to her mother. That she would take care of her forever if she just let her. "Deal." And like every time before it, she said one word because she was dealing in reality and not a fantasy world. She continued to eat her pizza and salad.
Jane couldn't stop smiling. There was something about the picture of refined, regal, Maura Isles eating a slice of pizza with her hands that always made her happy. It was stupid, she knew it was stupid, but it was almost as if accepting the greasy slice of pizza into her body she was also accepting Jane into her life. "So what are the chances I get the flu next?" Jane asked spearing a piece of lettuce. "'Cause I think Frost's been looking a little under the weather and I hate being sick." The flu had hit the Boston Homicide unit pretty hard and left Jane and Frost going almost nonstop, case to case for nearly three weeks.
"You could've just gotten the flu shot like I did." Maura countered taking a bite out of her slice of pizza.
"Yeah, no." Jane said. "Needles and I don't get along."
Maura rolled her eyes. "And you can't just assume that because Detective Frost has been under the weather that he's going to become ill." She took a sip of her wine. "You've both been working very hard these last few weeks."
Jane nodded. "Yeah, yeah. Overtime pay rocks though."
Maura shook her head and they continued eating their dinner until they were both too full and the pizza box and salad bowl was empty. Jane popped the movie into the DVD player and they moved to sit on the couch, Jane with her beer and Maura with her glass of red.
Jane pulled one sock clad foot underneath her and threw an arm over the back of the couch where Maura settled her head just barely against it. It didn't occur to either of them that maybe best friends didn't sit thigh to thigh, knee to knee, head on shoulder while they watched a movie. They sat that way at such a frequent rate that it wasn't remotely new or even something to be curious about it just…was. It was how they always sat and it was comfortable, so why change it?
By the time the credits began to roll Maura had ended up curled into Jane's entire right side with Jane's arm coming around her shoulders completely, her fingers playing mindlessly with the ends golden hair. Maura sighed quietly. If she just closed her eyes for a moment, however brief, she could pretend, let her imagination go wild.
It was a game she played as a child when she needed her parents but was too afraid to ask, after a nightmare, just standing in front of their door a tiny fist holding the sleeve of her nightgown because big girls didn't sleep with stuffed animals and big girls didn't need their parents either. So she would close her eyes and pretend that she could open the door and slide into bed between them and her mother would rub her back but of course that never happened and she always wound up turning around and going back into her bed alone. Or when she was at the playground with her nanny, she could close her eyes and pretend that she was just playing hide and go seek with the other kids instead of on a bench alone because even at that age she was weird and strange and different.
Only, Jane never made her feel that way. Jane almost always knew what she needed without being told, whether it be space or a hug or a tissue. Jane was always there even if she was weird and different. But this, Jane would have never predicted this because she hadn't even predicted this would happen. This, this falling in love business was tricky on its own not to mention the fact that Jane was Jane. Detective Jane, Best Friend Jane, Solid-as-a-Rock Jane.
But in these near perfect moments of sitting side by side on her couch as lyrics of a song she didn't recognize and credits from a movie played in the background, she could close her eyes and pretend that Jane was also Girlfriend Jane, Love of her Life Jane, Always and Forever Jane, Lover Jane. If she tried hard enough, she could pretend that Jane's hold on her was more than friendly, that Jane loved her too in the way Maura only wished. She could pretend that she could simply kiss Jane gently on the lips, grab her hand and lead her to her bedroom. She could pretend that Jane was hers and hers alone.
So she closed her eyes for a second and inhaled through her nose trying to frame this moment in memory, knowing that one day someone, someone much braver than she, would come and sweep Jane away from her and onto their white steed in a suit of armor. And she'd be standing next to Jane at Fenway or wherever they chose to get married in a Red Sox red Maid of Honor dress holding Jane's bouquet while she pledged to spend her life with an as-of-yet faceless stranger.
Jane on the other hand was oblivious to the path of Maura's thoughts. She was just grateful they had come back to each other. She was grateful she could still sit on the couch with her best friend who miraculously didn't hate her anymore to watch a movie. The incident at the warehouse had been months ago but still, Jane knew she was lucky to have Maura. So she pulled the smaller woman closer and kissed the top of her head. "I think it's time I head home, you look like you're about to fall asleep on me." Jane half laughed.
Maura sat up blinking out of her reverie, trying to keep the feeling of Jane's lips on her skull in her mind. She pulled away from Jane's grasp and gave herself a small stretch. She didn't realize how tired she was until Jane had pointed it out to her. Jane and Frost weren't the only ones that had been working nonstop. The flu had also hit her team and she'd been doing double duty as well. She blinked again as Jane stood. "Stay." Jane looked at her an eyebrow half raised. "It's late and there's a sixty percent chance of precipitation and you've been drinking."
Before Maura could continue on talking about the statistics of getting into a car accident at such a late hour, Jane interrupted her. "Okay, I'll stay." She looked around Maura's impeccable living room as if surveying the place. "I've definitely spent the night in worse places." She looked at Maura giving her one of her Rizzoli Grins. "Definitely worse company too, but," She offered the doctor her hand pulling her to her feet. "We're both going to call it a night."
Maura tried to ignore the way Jane's hand fit perfectly in hers. "Of course."
A few minutes later Maura was helping Jane put the throw pillows from the guest bed onto the chair in the corner of the room and Jane was sliding into the bed. She walked to the door shutting off the light. "Jane?"
"Yeah, Maura?" Came Jane's raspy reply.
I'm in love with you, she thought. She swallowed allowing a slight, second pause stand between their words. "Goodnight."
"G'night." Jane replied with a smile as she made herself comfy on the bed.
Maura shook her head at herself as she walked back to her room. Maybe one day, one day she'd show some courage and tell Jane where her heart truly was. Until then, she would be happy with movie night Thursdays.
A/N: Thanks for reading!