A/N: This isn't an AU. This can stand alone. This is set in the future...Other characters not known but appeared first in other stories will be introduced fairly.
Naru=Oliver Davis=Kazuya Shibuya
XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD~nya~
I. Eugene's Cycle: Found, yet Lost .I
XDXDXDXDXDXDXD~nya~
"Forget about me," Mai whispered as she lay on her side of the bed while facing him. "It would make things easier, Naru."
The narcissist frowned, also lying on his side and facing her. Her presence warmed the space they'd occupied.
"What nonsense are you talking about, Mai?" He narrowed his eyes.
It was morning, and the young man silently admired the way his lover's skin glimmered through the sun's streaming rays. She'd donned his white shirt as a sleepwear as usual; it seemed like it's her favorite article for she wears it in every sleepover at his suite.
Mai lifted a corner of her mouth apologetically; her eyes suddenly turned sad and gloomy.
"I...don't want you to suffer because of me."
He scowled. "That's preposter―"
"Goodbye, Naru," she intercepted and started rolling towards the edge of the bed and away from him.
Naru instinctively sat up and tried to hold her arm to halt her from falling over.
But he didn't grasp her arm.
And when he crawled towards where Mai had supposedly fallen...
She was nowhere to be found.
XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD~nya~
IDIOT SCIENTIST!
The narcissist's vision was blurry.
IDIOT SCIENTIST!
Naru closed his eyes and rubbed off the rheum collected during his slumber.
IDIOT SCIENTIST ! IDIOT SCIENTIST! WAH! NARU, HEY! Mmf...!
Oliver Davis stared at the deafening device nestled on his bedside table, listening quietly.
There was a long silence.
Hah...
A few seconds of pause...
Then, there was a smirk―which Kazuya Shibuya recognized as his own.
It really takes a kiss to make you silent, Mai.
Naru covered his eyes with his right arm, waiting for the response.
He wasn't disappointed.
W-wha―! D-don't be conceited, you sly Englishman!
I thought I'm just a jerk, narcissist, and scientist? He heard his voice utter, amused. You're adding Englishman now? How many pet names do you have for me, Mai?
He was teasing her, but he loved every moment of it.
Hmph! As many as I want, of course!
Hn...Is that so? I guess I should start calling you names too, huh.
Wha―?
Idiot is overrated and overused, so I should stop calling you that.
You―!
Porcupine, perhaps?
Jerk! How can―?
Armadillo? You like rolling on the bed like a ball...
I'm not an animal!
We're rational animals, Mai.
Aaaargghhh! You frustrating narcissist!
He heard himself smirk again.
Then, you'd want me to call you 'Honey'? Or maybe 'sweetie pie' or 'my love' or...'babe'?
Tha-That's―! Wha―! Ye―No―Wha―Ah!
She was probably blushing so hard. Naru lifted a corner of his mouth.
He heard himself chuckle―a very rare instance overall but always in her presence.
Mai...
W-what?
I love you.
There was a gasp―her usual sign of unpreparedness and disbelief at his frankness.
Y-You―Wha―
He always left her incoherent every time.
He sighed. A fly will enter your mouth if you continue to leave it open, you know.
Ack!
He sighed again, now helplessly. Honestly. You always get caught off-guard. Shouldn't you be used to hear me say those words?
Wha―H-how could I? You're not even a bit convincing! You should look at me more amorously when you say it, instead of a serious face!
He smirked. You were still left breathless, speechless, and erubescent, though. So, I think my words were still effective.
Tha-That's―!
I love you, Mai.
There was an outtake of breath again.
Don't pass out on me now.
I won't!
Hnn...
J-jerk! Ah mohh! Stop saying embarrassing things!
There was a click. Fin.
And Naru met the quiet once more.
Everything was like at a standstill.
Naru took his arm off his eyes and stared at the sky blue ceiling. His afterglow had awakened his senses...
But left him more empty.
More hollow.
He felt pathetic, listening to the recorded voices which consisted his cellphone's alarm clock ringtone.
He was depending on it.
He was clinging to it for four years now.
"Idiot," he muttered to the air.
But, it wasn't for her...
It was for himself.
He was never emotional, but he was never numb either.
At that moment, though, years of indifference had worn off and left him a haven of emotions when Mai evanesced.
The narcissist...no. He's not a narcissist anymore.
Kazuya Shibuya sat upright slowly.
Four years ago, he would have woken up earlier or probably have not slept all night at all.
He would have stayed at his office, rarely coming home to his suite except for baths or a change of clothes or to get some supplies.
Four years ago, he would have been hurrying to write a new thesis or read someone else's...
Or pester Mai for tea...
He ran a hand through his hair.
Four years ago...she was still with him, sleeping beside him occasionally and waking him up with her smile.
She was still by his side.
She was still...
Kazuya clenched his hands. His thoughts were in turmoil, frustrated and exhausted.
Where are you, Mai?
If he was the same four years ago, he would have answered his parents' numerous phone calls. If he was the same, he wouldn't have seemingly vacated the SPR headquarters, leaving Madoka and Lin to sort things out by themselves.
If he was the same...
Mai still should have been with him.
Why...was she saying goodbye to him in his dreams?
Why...must he be kept hopeless for four years?
He got out of his bed and did his lame routine. He was becoming a robot...but with emotions intact.
He tried not to stare too much at the places Mai usually populated in his suite.
He tried to ignore the auditory hallucinations of her voice calling his name.
He tried to un-see the tricks his eyes played when images of her just conjured up everywhere he gazes.
He was trying to be sane...and then not.
For only when he thought he's not sane that he could see her...feel her lingering presence despite the evident absence...smell the fragrance of her skin and hair draping him like an ethereal duvet.
He sought for her.
He missed her.
The shadows of her smile haunted him, but it was to his elation that he let himself be haunted by them.
Where are you, Mai?
Why can't I still find you?
Anger, pain, hate...
Everything bottled up inside of him, gobbling him.
Proceeding to his living room, he turned on the TV and blindly switched channels.
"When someone's missing..."
He stopped pressing the down arrow and slumped on his couch, his attention caught. He stared at a 30-something red-dressed woman sitting on a lime green chair. She was introduced as a social psychologist.
"...people try to reason out for causes," she informed. "Usually, the first year a person goes missing, people would wonder: did he or she travel abroad? Or some place faraway? Did he or she take an unexpected vacation leave or something? On the second year, people would think differently. They would feel panic and fear. They would think the missing person was abducted or smuggled somewhere without a point or chance to return. They would be alerting those surrounding them for suspicious people―stuff like that."
"Next, on the third year, a paradigm shift happens," the woman went on. "They would think that the missing person abandoned them, 'burned bridges' or eloped with someone else. How the mind works so strangely in fabricating these reasons...it's really enigmatic. But, it doesn't stop there. No, not yet. By the fourth year...all hope exhausted...people would think of reality more closely and be nagged by a foreboding thought..."
The woman paused―for dramatic effect or to swallow her over-secretion of saliva, Kazuya would never know.
She took a deep breath and said softly, "People would be disturbed by a reiterating query; what if he or she is already dead?"
Gasps were heard in the TV show's studio.
And the narcissist turned the box off.
He leaned backwards on his couch, his head nestling at the top of the back rest.
I won't accept it, he thought stubbornly.
His eyes had become glassy as he ogled at the unreachable sky blue ceiling.
I won't accept that she's dead...
Even if he'd already seen her cadaver.
XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD~nya~
Blood-curdling screams rebounded the cardboard-thin walls.
A haggard, cruor-covered man stumbled down and sobbed while bowing in dogeza. "P-Please! I swear I don't━―"
"Decapitate."
The curtailed appendage fell on the floor with a soft thud.
Now, the last man standing (or rather, sitting) stared at me, horrified. He waved his hands, palms forward, and tried to crawl backwards.
"S-stop! Please! Sp-spare me!" The gore-drenched man held his hands together in plea. "P-please━!"
"Begging is futile," I spat.
"I-I haven't done anything wrong! P-please spare me! M-my child is wa━―"
"Silence!" I roared. "You...didn't do anything!"
"Th-then why━―?"
"You didn't do anything! That's why!" I thundered and glared. "Twist."
Ear-splitting screams echoed in the whole building as the man's legs wrenched.
Saliva dribbled down the man's chin, tears streaked his face, urine leaked from his pants, and mucus ran down his nose.
"P━―"
"Twist."
The man's arms jerked opposite ways, and a symphony of shrill screams vibrated again.
"Tw━―"
Mai, abort! A foreign voice breached my mind.
I frowned and gritted. It's Ultimate, not Mai.
Whatever. Just abort mission. The breacher replied.
Details. I narrowed my eyes at the injured man who's sobbing hard in front of me.
Wrong person.
"What?" I growled and the weeping man flinched.
Explanation due in arrival. Abort.
The telepath vanished from my mind.
"Tch."
I ran out of the room and down the building, skipping and jumping over strewn corpses.
Death had become a daily occurrence, and I'd been desensitized so much that death became something I would unreluctantly cause myself.
When...did I start becoming numb to everything?
I used to be so emotional, so empathic.
I couldn't even kill an ant.
But now, I had become a lethal weapon.
Pain had become foreign to me.
Emotions had fled me.
And I was left with a shell of amaranthine unfeelingness.
When was it again...?
When...did I lose myself?
I couldn't remember, but it felt more than four years ago.
Sometimes, I'd even thought that an old me never existed; I only had one self throughout my lifetime. Nothing old and new...
...Just a stagnant murderous self.
Maybe the memories I still possessed were ploys of my imagination, a subconscious exercise.
Outside of the building, I scuttled through the dingy and narrow alleyways.
When...did I lose my mercifulness?
Everything felt so blurry; I couldn't point out an instance wherein I was forgiving.
In the distant past...does a memory exist?
A face came into my head, and my mind was refreshed...
Of the kisses and caresses.
Of the teases and smiles.
My tear ducts were reacting.
But, I held myself.
Naru...do you still remember me?
I...have become very filthy now.
I...have become a demon...a monster.
Am I not revolting?
Am I not hateful?
You're...probably with someone else right now...
You've probably found somebody else to love...
After all... it had been four years already.
I stopped on a familiar lane which was beside a restaurant. I entered the kitchen backdoor and nodded to the head chef who pointed a clean set of clothing with a sharp knife. I took the clothing and undressed, down to my underwear.
Some of the scullery chefs lingered their eyes to my body. They'd grown used to it now, but they still turned to me when I change. They'd become quite skillful too━―cutting vegetables and meat without looking (or slicing themselves) and their eyes to my creamy flesh...
If I was the same four years ago, I would have blushed and thrown things at them while shouting, 'Perverts!'
But, I wasn't the same anymore; I had become quite shameless.
Should I tell the ogling chefs that they should pay per view?
I smirked. There's no harm in profiting through fan service after all.
I donned a rather fancy blue silk dress, slipped out of my black combat boots (and then into blue patent leather pumps), changed my orange contact lens with a green one, and un-braided my dandelion-dyed hair. I hung a furry coat over my left arm and folded my bloody teal leather jumpsuit. Then, I lodged my soiled apparel on the counter, nodded once to the head chef, and exited the backdoor.
I materialized from the dark alley to a crowdy street, looking so stylish and normal with the flashy clothes.
Nobody would ever guess that I killed hundreds that day with just one word.
Another ordinary day...
I stared at the clear summer night sky, sighting a falling star.
Something tugged my frozen heart, and Naru's face came up once more.
No.
I stopped staring overhead, inevitably glanced at a phone booth, and involuntarily halted walking.
Numbers came to mind. I shook my head, restraining the urge, and skittered away from the cubicle.
You could not, should not, and must not, Mai! The technopaths* at the headquarters might listen in!
I can't compromise the protection I've been giving them (without their knowledge) for four years now!
I can't let everything go to waste!
Just then, a familiar voice invaded my mind.
Mai, come back.
I stopped by the sidewalk, waiting for the traffic lights to change. Closing my eyes, a memory became more prominent.
I'm going back...Don't worry...
…
…
...
Gene.
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~nya~
The telephone rang, and Kazuya was roused from his sleep again.
He rubbed his eyes, stood up, and then approached the obstreperous device. He pressed the answer button and took the receiver to his right ear.
"What is it?" he grumbled. He'd fallen asleep from gazing at the ceiling for a long time again.
"Noll," Lin's voice sounded.
Kazuya massaged his temples, restoring his senses. "What is it, Lin?"
"We found her."
Kazuya became very alert then. "Where?"
Lin was silent.
"Where, Lin?" the former narcissist demanded.
Lin sighed.
"...She's in a morgue."
HOOOLLLYYMAAAGGGOOTSSS~nya~
"Even today...I lived in the time of you.
Even within some stranger's figure passing on the street...
Even above those leaves riding the wind with a lonely dance...
Even within the air brushing past my cheeks on some evening...
In everything I see, hear, and feel...
You are there."
~Time spent walking through memories, sung by Nell~
XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD~nya~
A/N: No, this isn't tragedy. Action, suspense, sci-fi, and romance dominate. No Butterfly Effect is necessary either.
*Technopath=someone who has the ability to manipulate technology and have a mental interaction with its data
The link of the song in the quote is in my profile.
You may share your thoughts. ^^