Me 'n a friend were trying to say hobbit and it came out hobot. We immediately thought of Hideki, and now we're writing this one shot pointless fic.
One fine, sunny morning in Tokyo Hideki sat in his apartment "studying" with Chi. As Chi sat watching Hideki stare off into space she noticed another of his porno mags on the floor. Not knowing what she was doing she picked it up, and started to mimic the poses of the models. Hideki turned around to ask her a question and freaked out because he was turned on once again. Then he spun off into a pointless daydream…
(daydream) (1st person Hideki) "You know Shimbo, I'm not really all that stupid!" I said.
"Oh yeah?" he replied, "Whadda you mean?"
"Well, I was thinkin'… Chobits, right? They're great. But you know what would be so much better? HOBOTS."
He stared at me skeptically.
"Just think about it, fo' shmereious. Chobits fulfill all your technological needs, but Hobots? They cater to all your carnal desires. They'd be the whores of the computer world."
Shimbo nodded, I could tell he was catching on to the idea. "They'd be like a candy machine for sex."
"I know, I know!" I squealed. "And it'd be totally legal! They'd never be bitter, wouldn't have broken souls, and best of all they won't get pregnant!"
NEXT DAY
The sun shines brightly once again, reflecting off the windows of a huge building- Perverted Co. HQ, the sign read. In the biggest office in the building, on the 30th floor, Hideki was proposing his idea to the president of Pervco, (who was also, incidentally, his idol.)
"Yes, yes," the president mumbled, a wide smile spreading across his face and plenty of dirty thoughts springing through his mind. "Yes, this could be worth millions, you wonderful lecher, you!"
Hideki grinned broadly, alternating between basking in the attention of his hero and drooling over the photos plastered all over the office walls. "I know, I know! Great pervs think alike, right?"
The president pressed a small button on his desk and in a moment, a scantily clad, well-endowed persocom walked in. "You called, master?" Her musical voice rang out.
"Get me a product contract form, B-U-Double-Nizzy," He leaned back in his chair. "This is a great moment for sex-starved people worldwide! We're gonna make you a millionare and a persocom pimp, baby!"
TWO MONTHS LATER
Shimbo sat quietly in a dark corner of a bar. He downed another whiskey sour, bitterly watching a flashy commercial on the bar big screen.
Tired of persocoms who won't put out? For that matter, tired of people who won't put out? Buy your own Hideki Hobot and never spend another night alone! Never cheat on another wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend!
A huge image filled the screen of Hideki. He wore a huge purple fur coat, at least 100,000 worth of bling bling, and a hat with a feather in it. Laying on a huge bed surrounded by sexy, barely clothed "Hobots", he spoke directly to the viewers.
No one should have to die a virgin, so make sure you don't- get your HOBOT today!
Slamming the glass down on the table, Shimbo screamed curses at the on-screen Hideki for cutting him out of the contract.
Meanwhile, far away from the tiny apartment he once owned, Hideki reclined in a king-sized bed surrounded by lush, satin sheets and lush, satiny women, Chi by his side. And so he lived out the rest of his days as a conceited billionaire, with no thoughts of friends or family. After all, who needs that crap when you have billions of dollars and an empire of Hobots?