Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games. I'm just a obsessive 13 year old fan.
It was all for the Games, Peeta says. How you acted. Not all of it, I say, tightly holding onto my flowers. Then how much? No, forget that. I guess the real question is whats going to be left when we get home? he says. I dont know. The closer we get to District Twelve, the more confused I get, I say. He waits, for further explanation, but nones forthcoming. Well, let me know when you work it out, he says, and the pain in his voice is palpable.
/g/i/r/l/o/n/f/i/r/e
"Peeta wait!" I say as he turns back to the train. He stops and turns slowly.
"What?" he asks bitterly.
"I.. I don't know," I mumble. "Just don't go. I don't want it-whatever it is-to end." He stares into my eyes for awhile. Effie yells at us that it's time to get back on the train.
I drop my gaze and start walking slowly towards the train, trying to hold back the tears. I don't know how I feel about Peeta. I just know I want him with me.. Always. I feel his hand brush against mind and I look up at him. He gives me a small smile.
I have no idea what is going on.
We get back on the train and I go straight got my compartment. I colapse onto the bed and and let the tears fall. Why does everything always happen to me? My father dies, my mother dies inside, I have to grow up and raise Prim, I have to go in the Hunger Games, I have to pretend I love Peeta, I have to fall in love with Peeta.
Wait, what? Fall in love?
Maybe. But it doesn't matter right now. I don't know what is going on. Does he hate me? Will he ever speak to me? What was with the smile and the brush of our hands after the argument? Does that mean he still loves me, no matter what?
I wish I knew more about this stuff. But I never really payed attention to boys and such now I know nothing about it. The only boy I was ever close to was Gale, and I've never been romantically connected to him.
I don't understand what Peeta is thinking. His actions were so strange. I can't figure it out. We'll be arriving home soon, so I give up trying to figure it out. I get up and wash the tears and smeared makeup off my face in the bathroom. I reapply some simple makeup, the way Cinna taught me. It's just District 12, so i don't need it 'perfect'. I put on a green tank top and a blue see through shirt over it. I put on some jeans and a pair of combat boots. I leave my hair down, something I've started doing since my weeks after the Hunger Games.
Today I see my sister for the first time in months.
I glance in the mirror one last time then take a deep breath and exit my compartment. I go to the empty living room and sprawl out on the couch. I flip through channels, but all I find are stupid Capitol dramas and stuff about Peeta and I. I finally settle on a channel that shows District 12 preparing for our arrival. I see the whole town at the train station, trying to make everything perfect. They worked hard at our homecoming I can see, but it's District 12 so it still looks painfully grey.
I see my sister and mother in the midst of the decorations. They are both grinning from ear to ear. Funny, I have barely seen Mama smile since Dad died, I think to myself. A reporter goes up to my little sister and starts bugging her with questions.
"Hello Primrose! Are you excited to see your sister home again today?" The reporter asks. "Yes!" Replies my sister full heartedly. "I'm so excited and proud to see my big sister. She's the bravest person I know!" I scoff at her. Of all the people she knows, I'm the bravest? That's sad. I only won the Hunger Games, it's not all that hard, you just have to be able to kill a bunch of people. And have nightmares of them every night. About singing Rue to.. Sleep.
"She's right you know," comes a voice behind me. I instantly know it's Peeta but I turn around anyway. " 'Bout what?" I ask him. I'm surprised by how easy this conversation is after what happened earlier.
"You being the bravest person." I roll my eyes. "You were right there with me. Your pretty brave yourself."
"All I did was lay there dying," He mutters.
"That's not true. You helped me alot and went through a very painful infection. I couldn't of done it."
"Sure you could have. And you bravely went to the cornucopia and risked your life for me. Why did you do that?" Peeta asks. I shrug. "Come on Katniss. If we want to get along with each other, we need to be honest with each other."
"I.. Just didn't want you to die. I knew I couldn't.. Go on. Without you," I stutter.
"So, it wasn't all fake," he says grinning at me.
"Huh?"
"You have feelings for me," he says getting off the couch.
"What are you talking about?" I ask.
"Don't try to deny it Katniss. You'll just make it harder on yourself," he states walking away.
Everytime that boy walks away from me he leaves me feeling confused.
/WOW, that was hard yet easy. I don't like it. But I hope it gets better by the second chapter. Thoughts? I've been working on this since December 9th (2015) so it would be lovely to know what you think. The romance will come soon. I made them both a little bit OOC, Peeta is very straightfoward and Katniss is very lost and in love and doesn't know it. I usually write Katniss OOC though. Check out my other story, Together! Which is the squeal to Catching The Girl on Fire, but that is basically my first fanfic and it sucks for most the chapters. I don't think you have to read CTGOF to understand Together. But it wouldn't hurt. Together is my main focus right now but I am also writing and putting out a bunch of other stories right now. Broken Pieces and Final Wishes are pretty much abandoned and I don't know about Like Father Like Daughter. We'll see. I'm working on one called Really Real right now. I would love new story suggestions, I will try to do them.
Thanks for reading! Hope I didn't scare you off with the first chapter or the A/N, Like I usually do./