Just...How many more lives...will be sacrificed...?

There was a point in my life where I saw grieving families of the deceased that had fallen victim to an Abyssal. Spouses, siblings, parents...children. They were all mourning for the loved ones that will never come back.

"Papa, papa, papa!"

One child desperately called out to the father that will never answer back or feel warmth. Everyone lost someone at one point...even I...

"How long...how long...will this continue?"

My legs slumped on the ground, feeling my own heart sink into the despair just like these innocent people.

We all have to sacrifice something at one point...

Those words echoed every time I would fall into my own despair. Her sky blue eyes and gentle tone...I could remember it very well.

I don't want this...kind of sacrifice...

I don't want to see anymore people be victims of this bloody war. No more...no more...I beg of you...

"I have to stop thinking about it"

I shook off my head when I spaced out again. I really shouldn't be stressing myself since it was advised to me that it's bad for my body's condition. Those past traumas...they keep haunting me.

"How can I stop thinking about it when it left a permanent reminder on me"

My hand touched the side of my abdomen and felt an slightly painful yet tingling sensation there. It's like my body is reacting on its own.

"You're going to be an admiral soon"

"I'll give it a shot. I can't stop fighting...because it's in my blood"

"Fu fu fu. You're body has weakened, but not your will"

"Even if this body of mine can't bear steel...it doesn't me I have to give up"

"That's the spirit. You're just like you're older sister"

"Don't push it just because I highly respect you"

I remembered that conversation from a long time ago while I sat on the docks gazing at the peaceful blue sky.

"Just like...my older sister...huh..."

I don't want to think of my older sister since it brings out all sorts of emotions inside me. Just being reminded her makes me feel intense emotions. Even if I deny it, I long of seeing her again...my older sister. I could still remember the last time I saw her. Unfortunately, I can't afford to put my personal desires over my duty.

"I'm sorry if it has to be this way"

I apologized at the sky while sighing to lighten up the heavy feeling in my chest. I hope she can forgive me one day...

The next day...

I could never forget the day of my childhood where I learned the cruel and bloody reality of this world.

"Mom...dad...why...?!"

The corpse of my parents covered in blood stained sheets lined up with the rest of other victims.

"Why did you leave us...so early?!"

My older sister, tightly hugging me, felt angry at the lifeless corpse of our parents. I was so young back then when the Abyssal fleet bombarded my hometown and monstrous Abyssals killed everyone.

"...You have to run!"

"You have to protect your sister!"

My parents desperately told my older sister as we tightly held each other.

"Rrrrrr...!" A To class set its eyes on my parents

"Nee-san, we can't leave them!"

"..."

"Nee-san!"

My sister kept pulling me, but I refused to leave. As the abomination drew closer to my parents, my older sister grabbed me and started running away.

"...Don't look back. Don't look back!"

She told me with tears in her eyes. She ran as fast as she could and refused to look back. That was the last time I saw my parents alive. The next time I saw them...were lifeless bodies.

"Why, why why why?!" I hit the ground and cried over my dead parents.

"It's going to be alright"

"But...nee-san"

"Mother and father...sacrificed their lives so we can live"

After the attack, we took shelter with the rest of the victims that lost their homes and loved ones.

"We can't let that be in vain. So we have to live for their sake..."

My sister gave me bread as she brought ration given to the refugees. I admire how she remained so strong despite everything...

"Even if our parents our gone, you still have me"

"Nee-san..."

"I still have you and that alone is enough"

She smiled as she wiped the tears from my face. Her blonde hair and light blue eyes...were like mine during our childhood. If only I was as strong and brave as my older sister.

"Hmm? Another dream..."

I woke up, realizing I've been dreaming about my childhood again. There's nothing really much to remember about my childhood except my life ever since the Abyssals killed my parents.

"Nee-san..."

I wonder how is she doing now? Nein...I can't think about her or anything relating to her. Still, I admit I want to see my sister again, but our circumstances doesn't allow so.

"It's five o clock. I better get ready for the day"

After stretching my stiff muscles, I head for the bath first as part of my daily morning routine.

"Aaaah. Nothing like a hot bath"

While I washed myself, I can't help but softly rub the large scar on the left side of my abdomen. It's not just there, but a small linear one the right side and several noticeable ones on the back as well.

"How unsightly..."

It's a good thing I would always wear my uniform above a shirt to conceal something so unsightly.

Later...

Even if the destroyers in my base are very energetic and carefree, they're good girls with unexpected talents.

"Oof!"

"Shimakaze, no running in the hallway"

I managed to grab her as she sped through the hallway. Just because she's a fast destroyer doesn't me she can just run about anywhere.

"Pyon!"

"Same goes for you"

Using my other hand, I also caught Uzuki by the back of her uniform's collar. These two...are the most rowdy and energetic.

"No fair, commander" Shimakaze pouted

"There are rules here" I reminded the two

"Pyoooon..." Uzuki did the same thing

"Unless you two want to know how we punish naughty children in my country"

I actually don't know what I'm saying, but I need to at least instill fear on these two.

"W-w-what do you mean, pyon?" Uzuki shivered

"In Germany, we hang naughty children on the tallest tree, let crows peck on them and then we feed them to hungry wolves at midnight"

It's not the exact urban legend of the Krampus, but since they don't know much about Germany...I might as well scare them.

"Shimakaze? Uzuki?"

"..."

"Ah. They froze in fear"

It must have scared them they turned pale and stopped moving. Being fed to the wolves must have been too much to think for them. Well at least that instilled some terror in them.

Somewhere...

After I went to check on the ship girls' equipment maintenance, I checked on the newly delivered materials from Europe.

"Hmm...as expected of their material's quality"

European countries are some of the best manufacturers so it's no doubt. I checked all the materials if the shipments are either complete or not.

"With this, the base can construct better equipments"

After I exit the warehouse, I dusted off the dirt and dust that's stuck to my uniform. It's not easy to wash this because it's white. After that I returned to my office to fix some documents.

"These paperworks are tedious, but this is...the new duty I chose. This body...isn't what it used to be anymore"

I touched the part of my body where the worst I scar I have is located. I can't change what happened...but this is the life I chose now.

"No regrets"

I smiled repeating the words I told myself the moment I became an admiral and the day I first arrived in this base.

"Admiral" Richelieu entered the room

"Hmm? What's the matter?"

"Letters...for you. Also a package"

"For me?"

Richelieu handed me a couple of letters and a small box wrapped neatly. The moment I saw the seal, I realized who is it from. Nevertheless, I opened the first letter anyway...

Dear Admiral Schwarze,

How are your days as an admiral in Japan? It's been a while

Since we had contact with each other, don't you think?

I'm certain you're wondering why I sent you this letter, no?

Well...I'm simply curious about your current status there.

You need not to worry about them. They are faring well.

Though it saddens me they are unaware of your existence.

I respect your wish so as promised, everything remains a secret.

I sincerely hope...the two of you will fatefully meet again.

I will be looking forward for that certain day to come...

One last thing. I have sent a special present for you.

Sincerely,

Warspite

That grand old lady haven't changed a bit since I last saw her. I gently folded the letter and inserted it back inside the envelope for me to keep as a souvenir from her.

(A present, huh)

I unwrapped the package, tearing the paper wrapping and when I opened the box...I smiled curved on my lips.

"Ma amiral, what is that?" Richelieu curiously inspected

I brought out an iron cross necklace...something I haven't seen for a long time.

"It's called an Iron Cross. In my country...an iron cross medal is a significance of bravery and honor"

"Woah~" Her eyes are sparkling

Aside from this necklace are a few photos. It seems they really are faring well.

"I'm glad for them"

The smiles on their faces...I don't want to ruin the life they are having now. If she's happy with her current life, then I'm fine with it.

"Hmm?"

The other photo is Warspite together with Ark Royal over a nice afternoon of tea time. Afternoon tea. She really haven't changed a bit...that old lady. The photo that caught my attention the most is a wonderful memory I thought I wouldn't see again.

"Admiral, are you...crying?"

"No. Something just poked my eye"

"That's a lousy excuse" Richelieu is completely unamused

"Just let me have my moment"

I closed the box before Richelieu can see the photos. Those pictures brought hack both unpleasant and wonderful memories.

(I have to properly thank her...)

I kept the package in my room and as I laid down on my bed, I looked at the picture I placed inside a frame to preserve it. That picture was one of the happiest moments of my life before that dreaded day came...