The door to the school idol club room swung open loudly as Nozomi walked in, a small package in her hands and a smile on her face. "Good afternoon everyone! Sorry I'm late, I had to take care of something before I came."
"It's alright. We're just getting started ourselves," said Eli. She stood at the head of the table, black marker in hand as the mobile whiteboard behind her bore the words 'Love Live Ideas'. Several bullet points were crossed out beneath, the girls having been stuck for the past few days on what they could possibly do to increase their appeal.
"Then it looks like I'm right on time," said Nozomi as she set her package down on the table. "Before we get started..." She unveiled her present to reveal a plate holding a small pile of...
"Brownies!" chorused the other eight girls.
"Yep! Help yourself!" The girls did just that.
"Oh dear. It seems there are only eight brownies. Would you like to split one?" asked Eli.
The shrine maiden waved her off. "It's fine, it's fine. I had some when I made them fresh anyway. So please, eat up."
Accepting her words, Eli bit into the brownie and practically melted at the rich, chocolaty goodness. "Harasho~" she sighed blissfully.
"These are delicious!" praised Honoka through a mouthful of brownie.
"Honoka, don't speak with your mouth full," chided Umi in between bites.
"It's so fluffy," swooned Hanayo. "Just like rice..."
Nozomi's eyes swept over them as they finished their treats, a cryptic smile on her face. "Ah, but I neglected to mention one small thing about the brownies..."
"Oh? What is it?"
"I baked them with marijuana. They were pot brownies!"
The room quieted in an instant, as the eight school idols stared at her in varying levels of shock, betrayal, and anger. But mostly shock.
"Nozomi!" cried Eli as she leapt to her feet. "What is the meaning of this?!" she demanded.
Other reactions followed. Umi and Maki muttered angrily, Honoka and Rin looked around cluelessly, and Kotori and Hanayo fidgeted among themselves. Nico swallowed her last bit of brownie slowly, sending a disapproving leer at the smiling third year.
"Now, now, just hear me out first before you get too upset," said the shrine maiden with an easy smile.
"As if we're supposed to believe you have a rational explanation for drugging us with cannabis?" scoffed Maki dubiously. "Then by all means. Explain."
"Simple. We've all been working hard to think up new images for ourselves, but we've come up with nothing. So I thought a more drastic change of perspective was in order and we should just see what we can come up with when we're high!" explained Nozomi.
"You're not high," noted Hanayo.
"We need someone to maintain a sober and objective point of view so I volunteered myself."
"Why didn't you consult with us before you did this?" demanded Umi.
"Would you have said yes?"
"No! That's the point!"
Before Umi could continue her meltdown, another voice chimed in. "Let's calm down for a second and give this thing a try!"
Umi turned to look at her childhood friend. "Honoka, you can't be serious."
"Why not? Nozomi-chan went through all the trouble, so we may as well go along with it."
"As much as I hate to agree," interrupted Eli with a sigh, "It's not as if there's anything we can really do about it."
The blunette turned to their resident aspiring doctor for confirmation. Maki only replied with a sullen nod. Umi sighed. "Honoka, I swear this lackadaisical attitude of yours will be so much more problematic in the future."
"Ehehe~ It's okay Umi-chan! I know you'll always be there to bail me out!" declared Honoka cheerfully. Next to her, Kotori clapped politely in agreement. "So I'm gonna screw up as much as possible!" Kotori stopped clapping.
"Honoka..." growled the archer.
"Hmm? This seems like the part where Umi-chan whacks Honoka-chan with a paper fan," commented Nozomi.
"This is NOT a manzai!"
Nozomi reached into her bag and pulled out a paper fan. "It could be."
Umi was not amused.
"Hey, so how do we know when the pot is working?" wondered Honoka.
Maki took that as her cue. "Common symptoms of marijuana consumption include poor muscle coordination, dry mouth, a feeling of relaxation or euphoria, and increased appetite," she listed.
"Increased appetite?" repeated Honoka, "No wonder I still feel hungry!"
Hanayo perked up. "I know exactly what you mean! I could go for a whole bowl of rice right now!"
"Oh no you don't!" scolded Umi. "The both of you are only just able to fit into the costumes Kotori made and we have neither the time nor the material to make adjustments."
"Now, now, why don't we simply continue as we normally would and see if we can think of anything?" proposed Eli reasonably.
A sharp intake of breath drew everyone's attention as their resident cat girl had a realization. "My hands are glowing nya~!" announced Rin excitedly. "They're pot hands!"
"That's not from the marijuana, that's just you being stupid," scoffed Maki.
Rin pouted sadly and Hanayo scooted closer to rub her back encouragingly.
"What if we all wore kigurumi?" suggested Kotori, the brunette practically beaming in happiness to have come up with a radical new idea while under the influence.
Everyone turned to stare at her, none of them willing to say it was a bad idea. Or in the case of Nico and Hanayo, unwilling to say that three other school idol groups had already done that exact same thing.
"...we can put it up for further discussion," decided Eli, jotting it down. "Are there any other ideas?"
The response was silence.
"...this is so stupid," griped Maki, placing a hand over her face.
"That's not a helpful attitude," chided Nozomi gently, "Why don't you try coming up with a crazy, drug-induced idea?"
"The last time I had a crazy idea, my overindulgent grandfather literally had a fast food restaurant named after me," shared Maki bashfully.
All around the table, ears perked up. "Really?" asked Rin curiously.
"Yeah, and it's still there. It's a small shop tucked away in the corner of the Radio Kaikan Area. They named it MakiDonalds," she said with a shudder.
The room was silent as everyone digested that information.
"So, since your family owns it, you can get free food?" asked Honoka eventually.
"What? Well, I wouldn't say tha-"
"Let's get MakiDonalds nya~!" shouted Rin predictably as she ran out of the clubroom, Honoka and Hanayo at her side.
Maki was hot on their heels. "My family doesn't actually own a fast food restaurant!" she called, "It's just a licensing thing!"
"Honoka!" barked Umi sternly as she joined the stampede, "If you gain too much weight I'm going to run you ragged for a month!"
"Honoka-chan!" called Kotori sweetly behind the blunette, "I promise I'll make your workouts with Umi-chan especially fun!"
"Everyone! If you're going to stuff your faces then please at least try to eat healthy!" shouted Eli as she took up the rear.
Nozomi chuckled in amusement as her friends departed, reaching over to tidy up the mess they'd left. She noticed Nico still sitting, a frown marring her face. "Is something wrong, Nicocchi?"
Nico stared at her, utterly deadpan and completely sober. "...Those weren't actually pot brownies were they?"
"Nope!"
~END~
.
.
.
OMAKE:
Rin gasped as she had an epiphany. "Nico-chan's eyes are naturally red, so that must mean she's always high!"
"Oh wow, you're right!" agreed Honoka. "That completely explains her nico nico nii."
.
OMAKE:
Maki's eyebrow twitched in irritation. "So what you're telling me is that we weren't actually high, we were just being stupid?!"
Nozomi shrugged. "Pretty much."
Maki sighed deeply as she put down her deep fried tomato slices, pushing the ketchup-slathered fake fries away from her. "I can't believe I ordered these disgusting tomato-y health hazards..." she grumbled. "Stupid marijuana."
Next to her, Honoka and Rin shoveled ramen burgers down their throats eagerly, completely rejecting the idea of table manners. Rin looked up for a brief moment, just long enough to quip, "That's not from the marijuana, that's just you being stupid."
"For such a smart girl you can be pretty dumb sometimes," added Nico.
"I refuse to take this from someone who thinks steak fries are actually made of steak!"
AN: Let's all ignore the fact that this would have been perfect to release on 4/20. :P