Edifice Rex
or
Aragorn's Erection
Disclaimer: I don't own this. I don't think JRR Tolkien wants to own it either. Dedicated to Lord Kelvin and RedBootton
"Ooooh," gasped Arwen. "It's so big!"
Aragorn puffed out his chest and suppressed a smug grin. "Yes, I've oft been told it's larger than most, but this is not unheard of among the Dunedain of the Northern Kingdom."
Arwen nodded and merely gazed in awe upon the object in question.
"Mind you, my dear," Aragorn continued, "those of the Elves ore of equal size, although far more delicate and slender. Except for the King of Mirkwood, whose is quite substantial."
"I have heard rumors about Uncle Thranduil," said Arwen with a blush. "Is it true?"
"I have seen it, my pet," said Aragorn, "and the reality is no exaggeration."
"I suppose you have seen much in your travels throughout Middle-earth," ventured Arwen slyly.
"Indeed I have," Aragorn replied. "Hobbits' offerings tend to short but sturdy, and the Dwarves - ah, my love, they are the very definition of massive!"
"And yet, I would trade none of it for this. From what I see before me, I am a very lucky woman."
Arwen leaned her head upon her husband's shoulder and contemplated the new summer palace he had erected for her on the slopes of the Ered Nimrais.