Sometimes we just need a little smut in our lives. I didn't intend for this to be so long, so it may take a bit to get to said smut, though I hope it's all worth it in the end. Enjoy~

For Myrtle, bathrooms were sacred places. Not because she died in one, nor because she haunts one to this day, but because of the peace. Sure, loneliness had set in after the honeymoon period of ghosting washed away, but other than that she finally had a quiet space to herself after scaring all the students off. It was the closest she'd get to heaven, and over the years she had even found some surprises. A little while ago, though Myrtle did not know how long since her sense of time was destroyed, she had met the famous Harry Potter and helped him out with the chamber of secrets. Of course the boy had helped her too. She was finally able to understand her death because of him, but that alone wasn't enough for her spirit to move on. She was content, nonetheless.

Since that meeting, Harry and his friends made it a point to visit her once in a while. At first she didn't trust them, naturally why would she after all the broken promises of friendship during her lifespan, but after a few miscommunications they started to drift closer together. The Granger girl and her doofus of a boyfriend even managed to clean her bathroom one weekend before the end of the year. It was a goodbye present and Myrtle cried for the next three weeks. It was shiny, colorful, and all radiance of pretty that uplifted her spirit in ways she did not expect. She told herself that she didn't deserve this afterlife, that after all those years she would find true friendship in those band of misfits.

Along the way she would meet with Neville Longbottom. She giggled incessantly at his last name. Then Luna Lovegood came along and the two took to each other quite naturally. Luna's innocent curiosity always delighted Myrtle, and no matter how snarky and sarcastic she was to the blonde girl her eyes were always glowing with kindness and awe. Often Luna would sneak to her bathroom in the middle of the night, usually in the middle of the week, and tell her tales of mythical creatures and stories that her father was working on for The Quibbler. Myrtle was introduced to a few others, mostly from Gryffindor, though they rarely came back so she didn't see any reason to remember their names. Having five people in her afterlife was more than enough for her.

So, as Myrtle was "swimming" in the pipes one day she popped out to find Harry Potter slumped against the wall in the corner. Books and a bag were scattered around him and his face was nothing but perplexed. The boy with the lightning scar simply grumbled, harrumphed, and strangled his books as he his mind could apparently not keep up.

"Hehehe, Hello Harry," said Myrtle. She sat beside him, making sure she was as close as can be without phasing through him.

"Hello Myrtle," he said.

That got to her. Simple, didn't look up, all the usual signs that her playful advances were yet again being ignored. "What is troubling you this time?"

Since cleaning the bathroom for Myrtle the dark haired boy had made it a habit of escaping to there whenever he had trouble in school. Once in a while it would be because of a girl, but more often than not it was academically. The semester was coming to a close and the final exams for classes were upon him. Harry was undoubtedly not ready.

"I just don't understand anything in this book and McGonagall's exam is tomorrow!" He threw the book across the room and sunk even further across the floor.

"Harry! You know how I do not appreciate books being thrown here."

"I'm sorry, Myrtle. It's just frustrating how this is the only class that I'm falling behind on, and not understanding anything. Sure my grades aren't the best overall, but they're at least not as bad as they are in McGonagall's class. If I don't pass this with a high enough grade I may have to retake it."

Myrtle sighed. While she preferred Harry's problems to be about girls so that she had free reign to tease him, Myrtle didn't mind helping him academically, especially when it allowed for her to learn as well. One thing that she learned while being a ghost was how much she missed school. Learning, teaching, it all ended abruptly for her and through Harry she was able to teach herself through the years that she had missed.

"Alright, go pick that book up and tell me what you are reading."

Over the course of the next four hours Myrtle had gone through McGonagall's lesson plan on Transfiguration in great detail. From spells he should have known, like vanishing, or turning an animal into a pair of opera glasses, to new spells that dealt with conjuring, the pair had exhausted themselves through the afternoon.

"So then if I just do this while saying.." Myrtle watched as Harry practiced the movements with his wand. He corrected him slightly, but he was getting the hang of it. "Ah! Then it must be this."

A huge grin split Harry's face as he turned toward Myrtle.

"Looks like you got it, Harry."

"Thank you, Myrtle. Thank you so much." He looked out the window and saw the sky broken up between colorful reds and yellows. "Is it that late already? I have to get to the dining hall before it's all gone!"

Myrtle watched, holding back her laughter, as Harry neglected his wand and quickly grabbed all his gear by hand, stuffing it into his bag.

"Do well on your exam, Harry."

"I will, you won't be disappointed in me I promise."

After making it to the great hall in time, studying by himself that night, and studying some more in the morning, Harry was finally ready to take the exam. As the room to Professor McGonagall's Transfiguration class quieted down for each student to present their progress one by one, Harry couldn't believe how easy and confident he felt. Ron, on the other hand, was shaking next to him which oddly eased him even more.

"Next. Harry Potter."

Harry took a breath and stepped forth. His wand was at the ready and McGonagall's eyes were like a hawk on his every move. Without thinking too much he began. His swift wrist flicking motions came easily after practicing all night. His voice was strong and clear as he annunciated every syllable correctly. He matched his professor's concentration, and before he knew it his exam was over.

"Very good, Mr. Potter. I can tell you put a lot of effort into that."

"Thank you, Professor." Harry couldn't hide his grin. That same grin that split across his face and beamed an innocent type of achievement. The rest of the class went by in a blur. All Harry needed were those words, even if his grade didn't come until the end of the week he knew he did enough to pass. The faintest of smiles on McGonagall's face was evidence enough.

Once the bell rang Harry made straight for the girl's toilets on the second floor. It was empty, and the sunshine from the windows had made it gleam in all the right places.

"Myrtle!"

A cold chill ran through Harry's body. He arched his back for a split second as he saw Myrtle emerge from his torso. She always did like to sneak up on him, no matter how many times he told her it freaked him out.

"Yes, Harry?"

Harry gulped down his annoyance. Today wasn't an angry day. "I did it. I passed my exam."

"Your exam was today. How could you possibly know if you passed or not?"

"Trust me, I know. It came so easily to me in that room that I barely cognized it."

"Well good for you."

Harry shook his hood. "It was because of you, Myrtle. I couldn't have done it without your help."

"I am sure you could."

"No." Again, he shook his head. "Listen, if there is anything I can do for you to say thank you-"

"You just did." Myrtle's trickster smile appeared. She could never hide such a devious smile. It was in her nature.

"Seriously, I want to do something for you. I know Hermione and Ron cleaned this place up for you a few years ago, but there must be something I can do."

Myrtle's eyebrow rounded up as her curiosity peaked. "Anything?"

"Anything."

Her devious smile showed again and for a moment Harry's world turned silent at what she suggested. Time seemed to slow down and the light in his eyes faded away.

"Um…"

Myrtle merely let out one of her iconic "Hehehehe" while she stared at Harry's dumbfounded face.

Before he could think clearly, or respond for that matter, Myrtle spoke again.

"Don't worry, Harry. I'll only expect that if your grade is as good as you think it is. So, I guess we have until Friday."

With feet as fast as his Nimbus Harry left the girl's bathroom and ran. No where in particular, but away from that place was his only goal.

That night Harry stayed awake thinking about Myrtle's proposal. On one hand he wanted to apologize to her. Even if he didn't like what she suggested he shouldn't had ran out. On the other hand he was too embarrassed to be around her. So he thought about her proposal again, and again, and again until it was like an echo inside his mind. He debated on if he'd go through with it. He knew Myrtle had a crush on him, hell she tried to spy on him taking a bath numerous times, but this was something else. Taking that to a whole new level he wasn't sure he was comfortable with. Harry fell asleep a few hours after everyone else did and dreamt a confusing dream. It involved Myrtle, though he'd forget that when he woke up, and stained pajamas in the morning that covered his crotch.

Myrtle hummed inside the pipes. Though she stayed toward her bathroom that didn't mean she couldn't have fun and pop into others. She probably had seen everything at this point, especially when she was a newly made ghost and still getting her bearings in the school's elaborate pipe system. Anyway, after scaring some girls, and spying on a few guys changing, she headed back to her own domain. Coming out of the sink this time she spotted Harry by the door.

"Harry?"

He didn't say anything or move. Myrtle cocked her head and was about to speak when he finally made his move. Without talking or looking at her he made his way to the closest stall and went inside. She went to the door and heard him lock it, raising a questioning eyebrow that said, 'you know I'm a ghost, right?'

"I'm only doing this once. Alright?"

At first Myrtle wasn't sure what he was talking about. Did they make deal? Sometimes she was so carefree as a ghost she worried that promises with her new fleshy friends would be jeopardized. Her memories spanning decades had rattled and morphed inside her and often confused the way she remembered certain aspects of her life.

When she poked her head through the stall door she saw Harry's face, still looking down and away from her, beet red as his hands clutched a piece of paper. On it she could read his grades for the semester and under Transfiguration he got a perfect score. Oh, she thought, it's about that deal. Though I did mean it as a joke. She was a trickster by nature, naturally.

Myrtle kept her mouth shut, curious to see how far Harry was willing to go, as she watched the black haired boy tremble. She felt bad. She never intended to make Harry uncomfortable, actually she did, but not in this way.

"I told you I'd get a good score," he said. He put away his grades into his robe before fixing his position. His hand crept to his hip where it stayed for a minute before continuing between his legs. He let out a sigh and closed his eyes as his fingers found the hole that's on the front of all the boy's clothes and pulled out his penis.

Myrtle gasped not because of his size, though she did enjoy that, but out of shock that he actually went through with it. When Harry had said he'd do anything Myrtle had slyly told him that she wanted to watch him masturbate. She never thought he'd go through with it, and to be honest she only wanted to see his reaction to such a request, which was priceless and had her snickering for days, but now that he was doing it Myrtle couldn't help but watch.

Harry held his penis in his hand. It wasn't hard, not fully. His nervousness about doing this had pumped enough blood throughout his body that he was sporting a nice semi. It was thick, but not nearly long enough yet. He still couldn't believe that he pulled it out. He still couldn't look at Myrtle, not during this, so he pushed on and started to stroke himself to get this over with. Harry had debated and debated over whether or not he'd go through with masturbating for Myrtle. He wasn't fully averse to it. It wasn't as if he was a virgin or inexperienced, but the thought of masturbating for someone had such a…dirty feeling about it, and for that someone to be a ghost he had become friendly with was even weirder. But, once McGonagall had handed him his semester's scores he had made up his mind that he'd go through with it. He knew Myrtle would enjoy it more than him, but she had helped him so much over the passed few years that he felt like he owed her something, and if that something was to help her get off then he'd do it, though reluctantly.

Myrtle watched as Harry expertly moved his hand up and down his engorging shaft. She had seen a few boys masturbate over the years during her playful exploring time, but she never had the nerve to get a close look at what they were doing. Harry was easily five feet from her face with his penis growing bigger and thicker. She unconsciously floated further into the stall and was a mere three feet from his shaft before he stopped. It appeared that he had reached his full height, and Myrtle was amazed at how big he was. Though Harry was probably just under 7 inches the way he held himself and the girth of his shaft gave enough presence to make Myrtle's ghostly mouth water. When he didn't continue she looked up and saw Harry staring into her eyes.

"M-Myrtle. Do you have to be so c-close?" It appeared that Harry's blush was staying, and that was perfectly fine for Myrtle. Her face quickly went from awe to devious much to Harry's chagrin.

"Mm, no. But I don't see why I can't be now that I've seen it."

Harry sighed and looked to the ceiling as if it contained help. He grabbed ahold of his cock and started rubbing again. Not stroking his full length this time, Myrtle noted, but staying closer to the top just grazing his head. She stared at Harry's pink mushroom shaped head and gulped as she witnessed every soft contour, every vein dancing along his shaft, and finally a drop of liquid oozing out of his slit. Harry then moved his hand over the head of his penis and moved the liquid he procured up and down his full length. Myrtle gulped again as the liquid made his penis shine and look absolutely juicy.

"Harry," she said.

"Yes?"

"Please, open your eyes."

Without complaining Harry opened his eyes, carefully, one at a time. When he looked at Myrtle he couldn't help the twitch his penis made in his grasp. Myrtle gave him a smile.

"Thank you."

Harry could only nod. He didn't have any words for what was doing. He continued to stroke his cock and this time it was accompanied by more liquid leaking out of his tip and a sticky sound that came with each stroke.

"Harry."

He gulped, looking at Myrtle. "Yes?"

"Could you please take it off?"

His heart raced at that. Myrtle could sense it.

"Take what…"

"It," she said. Myrtle continued giving him that smile, that smile that made him do anything in the world apparently, and to her delight Harry stopped stroking his erect penis and stood up. She giggled at how his cock wiggled with each motion he took to pull down his pants, his cock springing from it like a cartoon, and then his robe and shirt, tie, other assortments were left on the ground until he stood stark naked in front of Myrtle with the hardest boner he had in his life.

At first Harry wasn't sure what to do. Now that he was naked he unconsciously tried to cover himself up, but then remembered how useless that was. When he sat back down Myrtle followed him with her eyes. Although he was sure that she wasn't looking at him, but his raging cock that was now twitching in anticipation.

"You have a great body, Harry."

"Um, thanks."

Myrtle couldn't believe how lucky she was. Her crush for Harry was just that, a crush, but it allowed her to play so many titillating pranks on him over the years. Now that he was naked in front of her it was as if all her hard pranking work paid off. His body was deliciously fit, with abs just barely coming in, and muscles aligning his arms and legs to form the perfect of bodies. But it was his cock that she loved the most. She couldn't help but compare it to Gryffindor's sword, and giggled at that, as it twitched and pulsed like a mighty tool it is. She dared even more now by sticking her face so close to Harry's monument that he had to open his legs for her not to touch him. Her eyes took in everything. Every vein, juice, soft, hard, pulse, and especially his balls which sat on the clean toilet seat looking oh so playful toward her.

"M-Myrtle?"

"Sorry." She pulled back, looking Harry in the eyes again. "Did you know ghosts can get horny?"

"What?"

"We may be dead, but ghosts are basically the manifestation of our spiritual emotions. So, while we still feel hurt, angry, sad, happy, we can also still feel horny."

"I don't understand." Harry's cock twitched again, as if it had a mind of its own to say; hey, why aren't we moving here, come on it felt soooo good.

"Similarly, the clothes we die in are part of our attire as ghosts, but that's because they're imprinted in our minds at death. That doesn't mean we're stuck with them for our entire afterlife. We can still do things like this since we know ourselves by heart."

To Harry's disbelief Myrtle took her robe and dropped to the floor where it wisped out of existence. He had no idea ghosts could do that, and his mind was running a thousand miles an hour before it came back to the present and started registering that Myrtle was continuing to shed her ghostly clothes. Next went her tie and vest. Shoes and soft followed suit. Each piece of clothing fading out as it hit the floor. Myrtle unbuttoned her shirt one by one, this time Harry grasped his cock again and started stroking as she soon dropped that too to reveal her ghostly bra. Her cleavage wasn't as impressive as Hermione's, but Harry didn't mind. His heart was racing faster and faster as she slowly unclipped it from behind and dropping it to reveal her small, firm, perky breasts. He couldn't believe how much detail he could see in her ghostly form. Her erect nipples, the curvature of each breast, and then she removed her pants, and underwear, to reveal her full naked form.

"What do you think?" she asked as the last bit of clothing disappeared on the floor.

"I-I-I," was all he could get out. Myrtle watched amused as he struggled for words and yet his body said it all. His cock had pulsed and grown a bit harder, longer, during her strip show and his hand was furiously stroking it up and down, and up again. "Wow."

"Hehehe, oh, Harry." She sat hovering in front of him while spreading her legs. He had a clear view of her pussy. It was slightly hairy, not bush-like but just starting, and wet even for a ghost. "Like I was saying. Ghosts can change their form based on their emotions and inner images of themselves. While I'm not wet like you I can still reflect it, you know?"

Harry could only nod. His reservations completely gone, though the blush permanently stayed, he stroked to her image floating in front of him. She closed her eyes for the first time and began to move her hands across her body. One moved toward her chest and lightly traced the curvature of each breast before circling her fingers over each nipple. Her other hand moved down her stomach and stopped just over her pussy. Myrtle opened her eyes and took in Harry's lustful form before looking him directly in the eyes and moving her fingers over her wet entrance. She didn't go in, not yet, but rubbed her pussy over and over until she matched Harry's speed at stroking his cock. Both of them watched each other get off, their breath quickly coming faster and faster until they were panting like dogs, until Harry started exploring his body with his other hand and Myrtle suddenly plunged two fingers into her hole.

When Myrtle let out a moan Harry quickly stopped and shushed her. "What are you doing? Somebody could hear you."

"You mean somebody could hear moaning Myrtle moan?"

Harry didn't have anything to say to that. She was right. Nobody would come toward this bathroom and if they did they wouldn't be suspicious since Myrtle is doing what she's known for…though in this scenario Harry doubted that they'd guess she was moaning for a whole other reason.

"Fair enough," he said.

"Now," said moaning Myrtle. She changed position in mid-air and made like she was laying on the ground looking at Harry. He could see her ass clearly and was amazed at how attractive it was. Nice and bubbly, but not too much. Then she started to float closer and closer toward him. Harry wasn't sure what she was doing but soon she would be upon him. "I think we should step this up."

Before Harry could ask what she meant he felt a cold presence envelop his hand, and in turn his dick. He looked to see Myrtle's see through hand on his and instinctively he moved it off his hard wet cock. Myrtle let out another moan as her other hand still worked herself. Her head slowly lowered as her cold presence once again tightened around Harry's base. At first it was cold, and Harry thought it'd have the opposite effect that both of them wanted, but after a few seconds he could feel something else. Something that felt a little electric, though still cold, with the effect that he could only compare to whenever you can feel someone's gaze upon you. It was like nothing he had felt, and before he could ask Myrtle about it (he's starting to see a pattern with her) Myrtle went down and opened her mouth as she enveloped Harry's length.

"Whoa, Myrtle!" The shock was electric, but the pleasure intense. It felt ten times more powerful than her hand on his cock and while it wasn't like the blowjobs he had before it certainly gave him the same amount of pleasure.

Harry started to moan, but caught himself, while Myrtle went down on him. He bit into his fist as he watched the ghost girl bob her see through head up and down his shaft. Her ass was still in the air and Harry wondered what would happen if he reached out to touch it. So he did.

Myrtle let go of Harry's cock and moaned so loud Harry thought the whole school could hear her. When he tried to grab her ass his hand had passed through her and that's when she bucked and moaned, but he had no idea why.

"Ooooooh, Harry."

"What happened?" he asked. "Did I hurt you?"

"Far from it. If you pass through me with lust in your heart it sends the most intense spiritual orgasm throughout my body."

"Oh," he said still not understanding.

"Do it again."

This time harry grabbed her ass in both hands, passing through her but keeping them inside, when she bent down and kissed him. Again, the contact was unlike anything he felt before. Myrtle had made sure not to pass through his face, but their lips touching had made him feel most erotic as she started to moan against him. Harry started to slap her ass on each stroke she made upon his cock. His hand went through her and she squealed. His cock twitched each time and the feeling of Myrtle around his heavy member made him go crazy. He didn't know how he hadn't exploded yet. Harry's cock pulsed quickly and desperately needed to be released soon. He went to grab it and stroke it until he came so that he could find relief.

"Stop! Don't touch it."

Harry wasn't sure why she said that. He obeyed, but barely. His cock swayed and was crying out to be touched. "Why not?"

"First tie yourself up."

"What?"

"Do it, hurry."

Harry sighed and grabbed his wand, putting it between his teeth, and casting a spell that binded him to the toilet via his clothes.

"Good, now watch."

Harry did. He watched as Myrtle's naked form hovered above and slowly descended. His penis was leaking so much pre-cum that it was soaked and ready for the final act. Myrtle descended a bit more and used her hand to pull back the lips on her pussy. Harry was stunned as he saw her ghostly form slowly take him in. When his tip touched her pussy he bucked and let out an intense moan and used all his will power not to cum then and there.

"I know, I'm sorry, bear with me."

Myrtle descended even more until his entire shaft was inside her. Harry's mind wasn't sure how to process the fact that he could see his penis inside Myrtle as she used her ghostly hips to move up and down it. Unconsciously he helped by thrusting into her, his balls hitting the toilet seat again and again in the most lustful sounds. Each thrust sent spark down his cock and up to his heart. Harry had sex before, but this was beyond what he experienced with Cho and Hermione. The warmth may not be with Myrtle, but the emotional, spiritual, whatever she called it orgasms that ran through their bodies were more than enough, hell to Harry it felt better.

They both moaned in tandem as their naked bodies clashed again and again. Myrtle's bathroom echoed and bounced their sounds of pleasure for one another back at them. Harry's cock was slick and ready to burst. Myrtle's ghostly frame was quaking and shimmering in delight. Her pigtails flopped every which way as she rode Harry in the most primal way.

Harry tried to move his hands to touch her, to feel Myrtle, but forgot that they were tied up. He looked on as he watched the ghost attack his cock with her pussy over and over. The familiar feeling was starting to build up inside him and he said, "M-Myrtle…I'm going to cum."

"Do it Harry, don't hold back."

She went in to kiss him again and both moaned against each other's lips as Harry's cock twitched inside of Myrtle and exploded. String after string of cum was sent flying into the air, passing through Myrtle's body and landing all over the bathroom stall. It hit the door, Harry's clothes, the walls, even Harry's face and chest as his cock pushed out pulse after pulse of hot cum. When Myrtle broke their kiss Harry breathed a sigh of relief as the familiar after warmth of an intense orgasm washed over him, but before he could enjoy that his body shot upright and he closed his eyes. Myrtle was back to pounding Harry's semi and his sensitivity was off the charts.

"M-M-M-M-Myrlt-t-t-tle."

She continued to pound him, his cock quickly rising the occasion again, as she started moaning and her breath coming heavier until she went to grab Harry's chest, accidently passing her hands through him, while arcing her back and screaming as her spiritual orgasm shook her form to the core. Harry's cock pricked upright and shot another load of cum from the unexpected sensation of Myrtle inside his chest.

Both naked parties gasped for breath as their orgasm-high was coming down. Myrtle made her way off Harry and she hovered in front of him. Harry looked again at her beautiful naked form in his drowsy state. He said, "That was…amazing. Myrtle-"

"Thanks, Harry. Even though this was supposed to be a prank I enjoyed the outcome very much. Now if you don't mind I need to rest for a while to recharge myself hehehe I haven't been this spent in…ever, actually."

Harry watched the naked Myrtle slowly disappear before he said, "Wait, prank?"

He sighed after cursing to Merlin that Myrtle had left him. Harry took in his surrounding and sighed again as he took in how much cum was everywhere. It was even on his clothes and even with magic that was difficult to get off. He sighed again. When he reached for his wand to clean up Harry's wrist was caught on something. Then, he remembered that he tied himself up. For a split second he was quite impressed that Myrtle had made him cum by (technically) not being touched, but on the other hand he was now tied to the toilet with no way to get his wand.

"Um…Myrtle? Hello, Myrtle? Little help…"

After a bit of struggling Harry heard the door to the girl's bathroom open with footsteps coming in.

"And you can read all about that in Dad's next issue of The Quibbler next week."

"I'll keep my eye out for that." Hermione's 'oh, aren't you sweet' voice echoed as she and Luna entered the bathroom.

Fuck, thought Harry.