Title: He Lives In You
Author: Falcon Horus
E-mail: thot_bastet@hotmail.com
Category: drama
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Meridian, Rite of Passage
Summary: Jack says goodbye.
Warning: Character death
Disclaimer: Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. The words come from the soundtrack of The Lion King II. I don't know who wrote it or who sings it but I'm just borrowing it for just this fic.
Author's notes: Thank you Adele for doing a great job as my beta! I know this may be just another Meridian-fic but when I heard the song, it just screamed for a fic! I hope you like it so feedback is always much appreciated! --------------------------------------------------------------------------
Colonel Jack O'Neill
'Wait! There's no mountain too great.'
I'm standing here, on top of Cheyenne Mountain, looking at the evening sky. I count millions of stars, and today, I know, one more has joined them. I still don't understand what went through his mind. He wasn't thinking about saving himself, no he wanted to be a hero and saved millions from a horrible death, knowing well enough it would kill him and ... it did.
'Hear these words and have faith.'
He's not really dead but he is gone, ascended to some higher plane of existence. We tried to save him but he wouldn't let us and he asked me to ask Jacob to stop healing him and ... I did. I saw the pain I caused by letting him go. I've never seen Doc like that before, not even when Cassie was sick. She looked at me when he flat lined, calling out to me questioningly. They all did for that matter but she was the only one who actually questioned his decision. She and Jacob, but Jacob himself had said that he wasn't going to be able to restore him to his full health.
'Have faith!'
"I'm gonna miss you guys!" I still see and hear him saying that and I know that he feels sorry for leaving us behind. I smiled at him, gave him the feeling that everything was going to be fine. I would make sure of that ... I am going to make sure of that.
'He lives in you.'
I found Carter in her lab, fidgeting with one of her toys and I just knew she wasn't coping. As soon as she saw me she started crying and asked me why. I didn't know why. All I could tell her was that he continues to live on in our hearts.
'He lives in me.'
I, for one, will cherish his memory and his friendship in my heart. He continues to live right there next to Charlie.
'He watches over...'
I know he's still with us on missions and that he will look out for us. He's our guardian angel now. I know he won't let anything happen to his friends. He may have left us ... me, but I just know that he's still around in some form.
'...Everything we see.'
I know that if he could see us now he would try everything in his power to make the pain go away. But he will know that it will take some time because we all loved him. He was more like family. We had a bond, which is now broken and needs healing. But will it ever heal?
'Into the water...'
Earlier, before I came up here, I took a long hot shower, trying to wash away the pain of his loss but I couldn't get rid of it. I really liked him and yes, he could be an occasional pain-in-the-ass but the man was our conscience whenever we stumbled upon some ethical problem.
'...Into the truth.'
The truth is he knew that by saving those people from making the biggest mistake in their lives, he would sacrifice his own life. He knew he was going to die. He even explained to me the details of how he was slowly going to succumb to the radiation. I didn't want to hear but I felt he needed to talk to someone about it.
'In your reflection.'
I know I'm going to miss him. I will miss the little discussions he always had when we met a new civilization, the comments on how I should organize my life, the way he looked when I told him I was the one in charge. The way he always ended up in the infirmary, the nights I spend at his bedside praying for him not to die on me. When I first met him, I never thought we would become such good friends. I never thought I was one day going to tell him that, even though he could be a real pain-in-the-ass, I liked him and that SG-1 will never be the same without him.
'He lives in you.'
"Goodbye Spacemonkey! Take care wherever you may be!" I smile one last time at the stars and breath in the cold evening air before I walk back down the mountain, to be with my remaining kids, to offer them comfort in this troubling time.
The End
Author: Falcon Horus
E-mail: thot_bastet@hotmail.com
Category: drama
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Meridian, Rite of Passage
Summary: Jack says goodbye.
Warning: Character death
Disclaimer: Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author. The words come from the soundtrack of The Lion King II. I don't know who wrote it or who sings it but I'm just borrowing it for just this fic.
Author's notes: Thank you Adele for doing a great job as my beta! I know this may be just another Meridian-fic but when I heard the song, it just screamed for a fic! I hope you like it so feedback is always much appreciated! --------------------------------------------------------------------------
Colonel Jack O'Neill
'Wait! There's no mountain too great.'
I'm standing here, on top of Cheyenne Mountain, looking at the evening sky. I count millions of stars, and today, I know, one more has joined them. I still don't understand what went through his mind. He wasn't thinking about saving himself, no he wanted to be a hero and saved millions from a horrible death, knowing well enough it would kill him and ... it did.
'Hear these words and have faith.'
He's not really dead but he is gone, ascended to some higher plane of existence. We tried to save him but he wouldn't let us and he asked me to ask Jacob to stop healing him and ... I did. I saw the pain I caused by letting him go. I've never seen Doc like that before, not even when Cassie was sick. She looked at me when he flat lined, calling out to me questioningly. They all did for that matter but she was the only one who actually questioned his decision. She and Jacob, but Jacob himself had said that he wasn't going to be able to restore him to his full health.
'Have faith!'
"I'm gonna miss you guys!" I still see and hear him saying that and I know that he feels sorry for leaving us behind. I smiled at him, gave him the feeling that everything was going to be fine. I would make sure of that ... I am going to make sure of that.
'He lives in you.'
I found Carter in her lab, fidgeting with one of her toys and I just knew she wasn't coping. As soon as she saw me she started crying and asked me why. I didn't know why. All I could tell her was that he continues to live on in our hearts.
'He lives in me.'
I, for one, will cherish his memory and his friendship in my heart. He continues to live right there next to Charlie.
'He watches over...'
I know he's still with us on missions and that he will look out for us. He's our guardian angel now. I know he won't let anything happen to his friends. He may have left us ... me, but I just know that he's still around in some form.
'...Everything we see.'
I know that if he could see us now he would try everything in his power to make the pain go away. But he will know that it will take some time because we all loved him. He was more like family. We had a bond, which is now broken and needs healing. But will it ever heal?
'Into the water...'
Earlier, before I came up here, I took a long hot shower, trying to wash away the pain of his loss but I couldn't get rid of it. I really liked him and yes, he could be an occasional pain-in-the-ass but the man was our conscience whenever we stumbled upon some ethical problem.
'...Into the truth.'
The truth is he knew that by saving those people from making the biggest mistake in their lives, he would sacrifice his own life. He knew he was going to die. He even explained to me the details of how he was slowly going to succumb to the radiation. I didn't want to hear but I felt he needed to talk to someone about it.
'In your reflection.'
I know I'm going to miss him. I will miss the little discussions he always had when we met a new civilization, the comments on how I should organize my life, the way he looked when I told him I was the one in charge. The way he always ended up in the infirmary, the nights I spend at his bedside praying for him not to die on me. When I first met him, I never thought we would become such good friends. I never thought I was one day going to tell him that, even though he could be a real pain-in-the-ass, I liked him and that SG-1 will never be the same without him.
'He lives in you.'
"Goodbye Spacemonkey! Take care wherever you may be!" I smile one last time at the stars and breath in the cold evening air before I walk back down the mountain, to be with my remaining kids, to offer them comfort in this troubling time.
The End