Title: I Tried
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: The characters mentioned belong to the wondorous, glorificus, sparkling, effulgent (yes i'm channeling Jinx) Joss Whedon.
Summary: Set between Crush and The Body. Spike ponders his unlife.
I tried you know. Don't think for one bleeding second i didn't. I mean would you like to be in love with your mortal enemy? Course you probably don't have one. That or a mortal enemy to you is the kid that stole your sandwichs or put worms in your hair on the first day of kindergarton or nursery to us Brits. Well my mortal enemy is the slayer. Buffy Anne Summers. And don't let the name fool you, i did and ended up getting a fist full of it. You've probably seen her around. Kinda hard to miss what with hanging out with a red head. Yeah, yeah i know your thinking i'm one to talk what with the colour of my hair but i can assure you it was all the rage in the 70s or was it the 80s? Anyway, you've got me off track again back to Buffy. Back to the love of my unlife, the only thing that makes my unlife worth living and all the rest of that Nancy boy stuff. She's like the stuff on display in the museums, you look from a distance but if you touch you'll get more than a cuff around the ear. You know sometimes i try and tell myself this is the entire entire chip's fault. That i've gone so long without killing that i'm actually insane and i don't love the slayer it's all in my screwed-up mind. Then reality kicks in and i realise that i can't be insane. That i must really be in love with her because it hurts too much. And no chip can ever make me feel the hurt and pain that comes every time she rejects me. Every snide remark that's thrown my way or disgusted looks when i try to help. Things were so much easier with Drusilla, you get a couple well okay a lot of mad ramblings but she made me feel like i belonged. She never hurt me the way Buffy does. But maybe that's the whole point. Didn't someone once say that you know that you're in love when it hurts your very being, very soul? Well i may not have a soul but i do have a demon. Do you think that counts? Well enough with the moping and sighing and ranting. I'm not gonna let her ruin my whole unlife. I'm gonna go out there and enjoy the night while i'm still young...course i could always just sit here and watch the telly instead.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: The characters mentioned belong to the wondorous, glorificus, sparkling, effulgent (yes i'm channeling Jinx) Joss Whedon.
Summary: Set between Crush and The Body. Spike ponders his unlife.
I tried you know. Don't think for one bleeding second i didn't. I mean would you like to be in love with your mortal enemy? Course you probably don't have one. That or a mortal enemy to you is the kid that stole your sandwichs or put worms in your hair on the first day of kindergarton or nursery to us Brits. Well my mortal enemy is the slayer. Buffy Anne Summers. And don't let the name fool you, i did and ended up getting a fist full of it. You've probably seen her around. Kinda hard to miss what with hanging out with a red head. Yeah, yeah i know your thinking i'm one to talk what with the colour of my hair but i can assure you it was all the rage in the 70s or was it the 80s? Anyway, you've got me off track again back to Buffy. Back to the love of my unlife, the only thing that makes my unlife worth living and all the rest of that Nancy boy stuff. She's like the stuff on display in the museums, you look from a distance but if you touch you'll get more than a cuff around the ear. You know sometimes i try and tell myself this is the entire entire chip's fault. That i've gone so long without killing that i'm actually insane and i don't love the slayer it's all in my screwed-up mind. Then reality kicks in and i realise that i can't be insane. That i must really be in love with her because it hurts too much. And no chip can ever make me feel the hurt and pain that comes every time she rejects me. Every snide remark that's thrown my way or disgusted looks when i try to help. Things were so much easier with Drusilla, you get a couple well okay a lot of mad ramblings but she made me feel like i belonged. She never hurt me the way Buffy does. But maybe that's the whole point. Didn't someone once say that you know that you're in love when it hurts your very being, very soul? Well i may not have a soul but i do have a demon. Do you think that counts? Well enough with the moping and sighing and ranting. I'm not gonna let her ruin my whole unlife. I'm gonna go out there and enjoy the night while i'm still young...course i could always just sit here and watch the telly instead.