Author's Note: So, I only wrote this because a got a review on the one-shot 'Rukia's Confession' asking about, well, Rukia's confession to Renji. So, I decided to write it. I was a little hesitant because it's a lot different from my other stories and I've never really written anything like this. But, I hope you all like it. I feel it kind of gives you a little bit of an insight into how insecure people can be, not just females.
Pairing: Renji and Rukia, RenRuki. Mentions of Byakuya and Ichigo, ByaIchi.
Disclaimer: Bleach is not mine, even though I wish it was. The story line for the Fic is the only thing I own.
Warning: Don't really have one, there is a little fighting if that counts. There is no lemon in this, just a confession. OOC. One-Shot. You may want to ready 'Rukia's Confession' first, the beginning kind of references to it.
Sorry for grammar or spelling mistakes.
I hope you enjoy it. Please Review and Favourite! :)
Rukia took a deep breath as she walked down the wooden hallway of the squad 6 barracks, mustering up every nerve of courage she had. She knew exactly where she was going, after seeing her brother confess to Ichigo, the Lieutenant of the 11th squad finally knew what she was going to do and how she was going to do it.
Renji's office was right next to her brother's, and she has been there many time's, on official business or for fun. She loved annoying the Lieutenant of the 6th squad, it brought her so much joy to see the frustrated look on the others face. But, what made her happier even more, was the knowledge that at that moment the red heads attention was on her and her alone.
This time she didn't speak to any of the other Soul Reaper's along the hallway, she just kept her mind on her objective. And her objective was to find Renji and confess her feeling's to him. No matter what happened after that, Rukia was determined to see this through to the end.
When she got to the door of her long time friend's office, she didn't bother knocking like she did before when she went to see her brother. Rukia slid the door open, the sound of wood hitting wood echoed in the empty room.
"Damn it, not again." Rukia looked around the room, trying to see if there was anything that could tell her where he was. "That idiot. Where is he?"
She walked out, looked pissed. This time no one looked at her or even tried to talk to her, they all know what the Lieutenant is like when she's in a rage. "Why is no one around when I need to talk to them today."
This time she stopped and sensed for the idiot red head's spiritual pressure, feeling that it was raised higher then usual and that it was obviously coming from the squad 11 barracks. Now she remembered, Renji had told her that he was going to train with Ikkaku today, and there was something else he asked but could not remember at the moment.
Heading in that direction, it made sense now why Ikkaku and Yumichika were heading back there so early in the day. Following the twists and turns of the streets of the Seireitei, getting more and more frustrated with the endless white.
"Why is the squad 11 barracks so far away? I should just flash step." About to do just that, Rukia stops, realising that if she flash steps there, that means she'll be there a lot faster then she is ready for. Now the Lieutenant of the 13th squad realises that all the courage she had mustered up vanished when she stepped into Renji's office and he wasn't there.
The petite woman decided that she will use the time it takes to get there to retrieve her lost nerve. Walking at the pace of a stroll, because the Seireitei was so big she didn't come across a single soul, a bit disappointed because she needed something to prolong her time getting there. Her fear escalating as the doubt smashes into her ten fold.
"This is ridiculous!" Rukia snaps when she can't take it any-more. "I am a Soul Reaper of the 13 Court Guard Squads. I am a Lieutenant. I will not be overcome with silly emotions like fear and doubt. I'm going to do this."
Her mind set and the doubt finally banished and all the self-destructing thoughts vanquished. Lifting her chin, a determined look in her eyes. She walks with more confident strides and marches into the open gates of the 11th squad barracks.
She followed her senses and found Renji and Ikkaku battling on the training grounds, looks like they took it outside so not to destroy any buildings. They were in a heated battle by the looks of it, their spiritual pressure flowing everywhere.
Rukia saw Yumichika sitting on the sidelines drinking tea, looking every bit as elegant as usual. Deciding that its best not to disturb the two fighting bone heads and walked over to where the 5th seat was sitting.
"Hello, Yumichika." She greeted happily, taking a seat on the grass next to him. She felt the wind pick up and heard a clash of metal, the sound ringing through the field. "We meet again."
"Yes, it seems so." He took a sip of tea, letting the hot liquid soothe his throat. Watching as Renji attacked Ikkaku with his shikai released, throwing Zabimaru around in strategic hits. Ikkaku blocked with Hozukimaru, then it split in the three segments held together by short chains, the spear head going straight for Renji's face. "Were you able to find Captain Kuchiki?"
"Ummm... Yes. But he was a little busy." She trailed of at the knowing look on the others face. "So, how's your day been?" Rukia asked, trying to change the subject. Distracting herself as she watched Renji; he had no choice but to duck to avoid getting hit by that sharp blade, Renji pulled his sword back to throw another attack, but tripped when Ikkaku used the other end of the spear like Zanpakuto to slip under Renji's feet and knock him off balance.
"Oh, same old, same old." He continued watching the others. "Just patrolling, then watching these two fools train. I don't know why they needlessly do this, they get all dirty and sweaty. It's completely ugly."
Rukia laughed as Renji grunted when he fell on his back, hitting the hard unforgiving ground in a puff of dust and sand.
"Okay Renji, that's enough for today. Go get a drink and a towel and dry off." Ikkaku said as he started walking away, sword already back to normal and sheathed. He looked around to where Rukia and Yumichika were sitting and grinned. "Hey, Rukia, where did you come from?"
"Oh... I just got here."She said, unsure of how to answer, not wanting to give anything away.
"Okay. Well, if your looking for Renji, he's over there." Ikkaku pointed his thumb over his shoulder, to where Renji was drinking out of a bottle.
"Ah, yeah. I know." Still looking unsure.
"Come on, Yumichika." He said while walking away from them, heading back to the squad 11 barracks, probably to get showered and changed. Yumichika followed after his bald headed friend without a good-bye to either Rukia or Renji.
"Rukia!" She turned around to see her tattooed friend running up to her. "What are you doing here?"
"..."
"Hey, Rukia." He waved a hand in front of her face. "Soul Society to Rukia. We request that you come down from outer space."
For a moment she was stunned, he had caught her off guard because she was too busy watching a drop of sweat roll down from his hairline, tracing all the dips in his face, down his neck, over one of his black tribal looking tattoos and disappear somewhere under his shihakusho, where she knows that there are more tattoos on his perfectly chiselled body.
"Shut up, you idiot." She looked away from his chest with a blush on her face and into his brown eye's. "I was just thinking about something. What did you say?"
He sighed. "What are you doing here?" He repeated, sounding a little annoyed at having to repeat himself.
"Oh, I was just around and I felt you and Ikkaku fighting, so I came to see what you were up to." Shit, the nerves are starting to kick in. The lie was the only thing that came out of her mouth.
"Yeah, we were just sparing." He wiped his sweaty face with a towel that was laying on the grass that he left there earlier.
"Ahh, well... Um..." Here goes nothing, she clenched her fists and set her jaw, eye's showing the fires of a thousand suns. She looked at her friend that was still wiping the sweat off his body. Here she goes, she's going to do it. "Renji, I..."
"Hey, Rukia, you busy tonight?" He says, adjusting his clothes, not looking her in the eye.
"Ummm, no..." Was all she could say, the sudden question throwing off her rhythm. The petite woman watching as her resolve shattered into tiny pieces at the look on her friends face. The utter regret that was plastered on his face after he realised what he had just asked, made Rukia feel unwanted and undesired. Did he not want to hang around her any-more? "Wh-why do you ask?"
The regret vanished when looked her, but is was replaced with a look of uncertainty. "Ah, nothing... Never mind."
Tears started welling in her eyes, she turned away from him so he couldn't see. Tears were unbecoming of a Soul Reaper. "Oh, okay. Well, I have somewhere to be." Her voice cracked as she spoke, just like her heart. "Bye, Renji." Why did that sound like it was forever?
She started to walk away, when a big hand grabbing her thin arm, preventing her from leaving. She turned to see a very obstinate looking red head starting at her with an emotion she can not place. "Wait, don't go... Remember this morning I asked you if there was any place that you wanted to go to?"
"..." Rukia did not understand where this was going and could not recall him asking her anything, her mind had been too occupied with other things today.
"You said that you wanted to go to the old waterfalls that we used to visit as kids." He moved a little closer to her, still not releasing her arm. "Do you remember?"
The Lieutenant of the 13th squad gasped, now she remembered. He had asked early this morning when they were on their way to have breakfast with their friends, he stopped her and asked if there was anywhere that she wanted to go today and she answered the waterfalls, because they haven't been there since they were kids and it holds a lot of fond memories. But, she thought that Renji wasn't being serious and had forgotten about it. "Ah, yes, I remember."
The red head finally smiled and it made her heart flutter. "Good... Well... I wanted to ask... Well, I hopped..." He scratched his head with his other hand. "Damn, this is harder then I thought." He looked her in the eye with a light blush on his face and unsure eyes. "I was wondering if you would accompany me there later tonight?"
Rukia blushed also. Is he asking her out on a date? No, he wouldn't do that. But still. She had to answer him, he was waiting. As much as she usually likes to see him squirm, this was not the time for it. "Y-yeah, sure. Of course I will, Renji."
Renji released a breath that he didn't know he was holding. "Great... Meet at the edge of the forest at 8 tonight. I'll be waiting and you don't have to bring anything."
"Okay, 8 tonight. I'll be there." She smiled, confused why he was asking this all of a sudden, but decided to play along. She really did want to go back to the waterfalls, they had some of the best times of their childhood there.
"Sweet. Okay, see you later." He finally let of his hold on his arm and stepped back. The red head grabbed his things and picked up Zabimaru, putting it through the sash of his clothes as he gazed at his friend. "Um, didn't you say you had something to do?"
Rukia looked at him in confusion, wondering why he would say that, then remembering her excuse for getting away from him with her broken heart a moment ago. "Oh, yeah. I'll see you later." She turned around and started walking towards the gates of the 11th squad barracks, turning to wave back at her friend and disappearing passed the walls. The last thing she saw was her friend waving back with that stupid grin on his face.
Rukia paced her room, completely nervous about tonight. It is 7:30 in the night, just thirty minutes until she meets with Renji, it only takes like 20 minutes to get there from the Kuchiki Manor. The suspense has made her a wreck, she looks in the mirror and all she can see it a small girl with big frightened eyes, with nothing going for her but her fighting skills.
Doubt smashed into her again, it was like the Fates were being particularly cruel to her today. Renji wouldn't want an unattractive girl like her as a girlfriend. What was she thinking?! That this was a date?! Of course it wasn't! Otherwise Renji would have said so.
She sighed, sitting on the edge of her bed in defeat. She didn't feel any of the confidence that she had before. Since this wasn't a date, she was just going to go and have a look at the waterfall for awhile like old times and come home and figure out a way to give up on her love.
There was a knock at her door, interrupting her thoughts. "Yes?"
"It's me, Byakuya. May I come it?"
Rukia took a breath in and looked around the room, it was a mess, she was trying to find an outfit that looked nice for tonight. She couldn't let her brother see this! Though she did know that if she didn't let him in it would be considered rude. She sighed again.
"Yes, you may come in." There was a short moment before the door opened and then her brother stepped in. "Excuse the mess, I was looking for something."
"No, excuse my sudden intrusion." He looked at her. "I was wondering if you are alright, your spiritual pressure feels a little dark."
"Oh, sorry. I usually have better control over it." She said wrapping her arms around herself.
"You have perfect control right now. I just know when your worried about something because I'm so used to the way your spiritual pressure feels, you do live under my roof." He left out the part that he keeps constant surveillance on her, making sure she isn't doing anything too dangerous.
"Oh... Well... It's just that... Um..." She looked at her brother and saw patience and a little worry hidden in his dark eyes. She took a deep breath before slowly letting it out, calming herself down and getting ready to tell her brother everything. "So, you see, I have feelings for Renji." The petite woman pause, waiting to see if her brother would say anything, but he just nodded as if he already knew. How does he do that? He always knows everything without her even telling him. Was she that transparent? She couldn't be or even that loaf of a red head would have noticed after all these years. She decided that her brother must be physic.
"And I'm going to meet him tonight, I was just looking for something to wear, which is why my room is a mess. The thing is brother... I've been trying to gather my courage to ask him out for a long time now. I tried all day to ask him, then suddenly when I was going to ask him, he asked me if I wanted to go to the waterfalls in the Rukon District that we used to go to when we were kids and I've been wanting to go for awhile now, but after he said that I lost the nerve to ask him." She clenched her hands together, looking down at them and not looking up again as she continued. "I was really happy when her asked me, but then I know that he only thinks of me as a friend, definitely not as a love interest. Well, look at me, I'm small and skinny, I'm not as pretty as any of the other Lieutenant females. Why would he want me? All this doubt consumes me, I'm not fit to be a Lieutenant. These feelings are unbecoming of a Soul Reaper."
She finished, feeling a little bit better after getting that all off her chest, something that she has been holding in for too long. But, she felt completely worthless. Because she had been looking down this whole time she didn't notice that Byakuya had stepped closer to her, now he was crouching down in front of her.
The Captain of the 6th squad grabbed his sisters small hands in his, making her look up into his eyes. He wiped away a tear that was rolling down a cheek. Rukia didn't even know that she was crying, now she felt even worse, Soul Reapers were not meant to cry.
"Listen to me, Rukia." He looked at her with stern grey eyes. "Renji would be glad to have someone as beautiful as you by his side, trust me when I say that. I can not guaranty that he will return your affection, but he will never let you go. You are a strong and confident women, who has won many battles and has earned the respect of all the Soul Society, not just as part of the Kuchiki clan but as a Soul Reaper of the 13 Court Guard Squads. Do not ever doubt yourself."
Rukia was shocked by this rare display of kindness and affection that her brother was giving her. He was telling her to be strong and not to give up on herself. Today she had seen two sides of her brother that she had never seen before. What was this sudden change of personality? She like it, but it would take some getting used to.
"Yes, brother. I will be strong and stop doubting myself." With a new resolve, she came to a decision. "I will tell Renji how I feel tonight, no matter what."
Byakuya was glad to see the fire back in his sisters eyes again, standing up, he squeezed her hands, giving her some reassurance and letting her know that he believes in her, before letting them go and stepping back. There was no smile on his face, but she could see it in his eyes.
She looked over at the clock 7:55pm! "Shit! I'm gonna be late!" The woman rushed around the room, grabbing her jacket, Soul Pager and Zanpakuto, before stopping in front of her brother. "Sorry for the language brother, but I am supposed to meet Renji at 8:00pm, I'm going to have to flash step to get there on time."
He opened the door and stepped out of the way so she could leave the room as well. Rukia looked at Byakuya for a second, she knew that talking to him would make her feel better. Though he did look a little distracted at the moment, then she remembered. Getting a mischievous smirk on her face, she got a brilliant idea. "Oh yeah, don't be too hard on Ichigo tonight, he may be young but he's never had any experience doing that."
He looked at her with shock, his eyes only widening a little. "I don't know what you mean..." Then a slight red colour dusted his cheeks as the words sunk in. How did she know? "H-how..." The raven male hated that he stuttered.
"You're not the only one who knows everything." She winked at him before turning around and running off down the hallway, knowing that it was not customary to be running inside the Kuchiki Manor, but if she didn't she would be late. Yelling a quick bye and thank you to him before she vanished going into flash step to the meeting place.
It didn't take her as long as she thought to get to the edge of the forest, though she was still 5 minutes late and Renji was already there, holding a big basket and a bag, both looking heave but he carried them like they were nothing at all.
"Hey, Renji!" She called out when she was close enough, getting his attention. "Have you been waiting long?"
He smiled, making the petite women's heart skip a beat. "Nah, not really."
Rukia quickly regained her composer. "Sorry, I was talking to my brother."
"It's totally fine, silly." Renji hefted the bag onto his shoulder, making sure that it was on comfortably. "Okay, should we get going?"
"Yeah, let's go." Rukia said, walking in front.
It didn't take long to get there. They talked the whole way there, never in any kind of awkward silence, much to the raven girl's relief, otherwise she may have ran away. They talked about what was happening with their squads, Rukia was saying that Captain Ukitake was introducing a new type of training to help the members communicate better with each other. Renji was saying that in his training with Ikkaku, their bald friend had said that he had gotten better, especially in his strength and speed.
Rukia laughed really loud when the red head said something really funny, recounting the incident when the other was training the new recruits. If she didn't know any better, she would say that this was a date, but she pushed that thought aside, not wanting to be disappointed too much when the other turned her down.
When they reached the clearing with the waterfall, it completely took their breaths away. There were trees surrounding the area that were almost twenty meters high, so it was a very hard place to find. They both liked to think that they were the only ones that came here and it was their special place. It was simply beautiful there, the Moon was shining bright, illuminating everything with its pale light, making the water sparkle, she simply loved it here at night.
"This is wonderful." She said, looking over at her friend who was staring at her. "What? What's wrong? Is there something on my face?"
Renji blinked and quickly looked away, up at the stars and the nice green grass. He walked over and sat the bag and basket he was carrying on the ground, rummaging through the bag he pulled out a blanket and unrolled it so they could sit on it, he said. "No, there's nothing on your face, I was just lost in thought. Pay no mind."
"Oh, okay." She couldn't help the disappointment that struck her heart like the tip of a Zanpakuto going straight through her chest. She had hopped that he was staring at her for the same reason she stares at him.
"Come on, lets get started." He pulled out food from the basket there was rice balls, sushi, salads and some bowls of steaming soy chicken, as well as some juice pops from the World of the Living.
"Whoa, you didn't tell me we were having a picnic, otherwise I would have brought something."
"I wanted to surprise you." He smiled a big toothy smile that was so him. "Now, come on and sit down."
She sat down next to him, a little hesitant, Rukia picked up a rice ball and bit into it, it tasted delicious. "I didn't know you could cook so well. You did cook this, didn't you?" She teased.
"Yes, I did!" He said, a light blush dusting his cheeks.
"Really, these taste familiar." She continued to tease him, knowing that it will annoy him and make him flustered.
"I-I did do it." He looked away, voice lowering. "With a little help."
If Rukia wasn't waiting for him to sat that, she wouldn't have heard it. "Just as I thought! You got Ichigo's help, didn't you?"
"No..!" He trailed off, looking down in defeat, she had him. "Yes..."
"I knew it! How else would you have gotten those juice pops and they're my favourite flavour, there's no way you would know that." Rukia loved the apple and blackcurrant flavour, it was just so yummy and she couldn't get enough of it. "Ichigo's the only one who would know that about me."
"I do know that is your favourite flavour!" He growled out, shocking her with his sudden outburst of anger.
"R-Renji? Are you okay?" She was concerned now. What was wrong with him?
"No, I'm not okay. It's your fault!" He was standing up now, looking down at her. "Every time I finally think that I have you all to myself, that your attention is all on me, you always bring up Ichigo! It's always Ichigo this and Ichigo that! Oh, Ichigo took me here and showed me this! It's so annoying! Why can't you have eyes only for me?! Why does it always have to be him?!"
"Renji, what are you talking about? Ichigo is my friend." She was standing up now, a bit angry herself. She felt a sudden need to protect Ichigo. Why was Renji being like this? This made no sense. "What's gotten into you! Ichigo is our friend! Why are you suddenly attacking him while he isn't here?! You're being ridiculous!"
"I'm being ridiculous?! By the way your always talking about him, people might think that you are in love with him!" He pointed an accusatory finger at her. "That's it, isn't it! You're in love with him!"
She was totally caught off guard by that statement. He thought that she was in love with Ichigo? Rukia was completely speechless, she had lost the ability to move her mouth and her voice would not work. Renji thought that she was in love with Ichigo. It was all over now. Nothing she said now could convince him otherwise.
Renji looked her in the eye and could tell that she had no excuse or anything to say back to that. "So it is true..." His voice softened, it almost sounded like it weakened, like something inside him had died.
Rukia didn't like that tone in his voice and look in his eye's, he looked like someone who had given up, who was admitting defeat after a long battle. "No, Renji... It's not..."
"No! I don't want to heat it!" He turned around, the red head couldn't bare the thought that someone had seen him like this. It felt like his insides had shattered, he felt completely empty, hollow. "Just... Leave me alone."
Rukia's world crumbled around her at the worlds that left his mouth. She felt like crying, but for some reason she couldn't. She felt so broken inside as she watched him walk away. It was like there was nothing left, no more tear's, no more emotions, no more... Anything. The Lieutenant of the 13th squad fell to her knees, covering her face in her hands, feeling absolutely barren. She felt like giving up, what was the point in going on when the one she loved did not wish to ever see her again. Just as she was about to let that dark fog of depression surround her, her brother's voice filtered into her head.
'Do not ever doubt yourself.'
Something inside her clicked. There was no way she was going to let this happen! She was not going to let her brother down! She was not going to let the love of her life get away from her!
Rukia stood up off the ground and started running after Renji. He hadn't gotten that far, too deep in his own emotional breakdown that he didn't bother with getting away fast. "RENJI!"
He stopped at the tone in her voice, it was so desperate and at the same time so strong, so full of... resolve.
The raven girl grabbed his arm in a vice grip, making sure he can't get away. "There in no way in HELL that I am letting you get away!"
"R-Rukia." His voice was unsteady, unsure on whether he should run away or stay and listen to what she had to say.
Rukia saw the inner battle Renji was having inside his head and decided to take the chance to tell him, everything. "I am not letting you go! I love you, Renji! I have always loved you! For a very long time! Please, don't leave me! I need you!"
She said it! Finally. A huge weight lifted off her chest. She felt like now, despite what she said, now she can let him go. Her grip loosened on his arm, she dropped her hand and stepped away. She could finally say goodbye and move on with her life.
Then suddenly, she felt a warmth on her hand. Renji's hand grabbed hers and held it in his own. Then his other hand wiped something off her face. "Why are you crying, Rukia?" He asked in a gentle voice, it sounded nothing like before, that anger gone from his tone entirely.
The petite woman had no idea she was crying, she didn't even know why it was happening right now instead of before when she wanted it to. She had said what she needed and now it was time to let go, to give up. "Be-because, this is... Goodbye." More tear's streamed down her face, she could not believe that she was crying at a time like this, she came to terms with this heart break a long time ago. Well, that's what she thought.
Renji cupped her face with the same hand her wiped away her tear's with and looked at her deeply, so much emotion swimming in those eye's. "No. It's not goodbye. Do you really love me?" She nodded. "Then this is a new chapter of our lives."
Her eye's widened, they looked at little glassy and red from the tear's. "W-what do you mean?"
He smiled tenderly, leaning in just a little. "Haven't you figured it out yet? I'm in love with you too. I have been for in love with you since the day we met."
Rukia could not believe her ear's. He loved her! Renji loved her! She was so happy! Word's could not describe what she was feeling right now. Like everything that had happened before was all a distant memory, long forgotten. She wrapped her arms around the red heads neck and pushed them both to the forest floor, she was lying on top of him.
Rukia was laughing with a big smile on her face and Renji was rubbing the back of his head in pain. He had no idea that she was going to do that and wasn't able to break his fall, he landed on his back in the soft grass, it may have been a little soft but it still hurt. But, he couldn't bring himself to be annoyed at Rukia, because she looked genuinely happy.
Renji smiled and leaned up to her face, only a centimeter apart. "I really want to kiss you right now. Can I? Is that alright?"
Rukia gasped, an unknown emotion filling her, she nodded. "You can kiss me whenever you want."
And so, he did. He leaned in the rest of the way and placed his lips on hers. It was the most wondrous feeling they had ever felt, it wasn't like fireworks going off, no, it was much better. It was like flying in the sky and over the clouds into outer space and just floating there in total bliss. It was like swimming in the deepest part of the ocean and finding wonders that had never before been seen. It was better then the Seven Wonders of the World. Like stepping into a lolly shop and finding out that everything is free and you can eat as much as you want.
Neither of them had ever felt this happy before. Their first kiss had completely blown them both away. Pulling back, they both smiled at each other.
"Rukia, will you be my girlfriend?" Renji asked, floating on cloud nine right now.
"Yes! Yes, I will."
Rukia's reply was like the cherry on top and he hugged her tight to his chest. Promising to himself that he will never let her go.
Author's Note: So, I know it's a little too fluffy and light, but to me it's kinda cute. Renji does not hate Ichigo in this, he was just a little jealuos and you know how people get when they are in love, they become a little unreasonable, they are goof friends and always will be. In the Anime, I acually want Ichigo to be with Rukia, but I know that will never happy (maybe) because I remember reading something about Tite Kubo not going into the whole semi love triangle between Ichigo, Rukia and Orihime. But, yeah. I haven't read much into the Manga yet, just a few chapters after the Fullbringer Arch, I will though.
So, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it. I'm sorry if it may be a little boring.
Please Review and Favourite! It really means a lot to me :)