A/N: As some of you may know, I went through something pretty traumatic earlier this year. And the way I work through trauma? I write H/C. I had a simple surgical procedure done and I had major, life-threatening complications. So, I substituted me for Steve. The initial cause is different but what Steve goes through is medically accurate. How am I so sure? It's what I went through, this time and a previous time a few months ago.

Almost dying makes perspectives change and sets priorities straight. At least it did for me. At least, that's what I was wanting to write about but then, Danny Williams hijacked the story and… this is what happened; ie the story grew legs, ran away from home and learned to ride a horse. This is the result.

This story is complete and all that is left are final edits. I'll try and post every 1-2 days, depending on my work schedule.

Happy reading.

H50-H50-H50-H50- H50-H50-H50-H50- H50-H50-H50-H50- H50-H50-H50-H50-

Prologue

After seeing that video, he feels pretty much like Danny feels: like the world's been taken out from under him and he can't tell up from down anymore. They share that second beer in silence and he eventually retreats to his own office to think, to try and clear his head, that is, after Danny manages to convince him Hesse will still be there in the morning for them to interrogate. The last 36 hours have taken their toll and he's at his limits. He's tired, everything hurts and the adrenaline that's kept him going is fading fast. The beer buzz, adrenaline let-down and blood loss are making him fuzzy and lightheaded, fine tremors running through his body. In short; he's about to crash, hard.

Max told him he needed to get more thoroughly checked out, have an ultrasound done to make sure there was no internal bleeding, that IV fluids would be a good idea to help replace some of the blood he lost, that he needed antibiotics, et cetera, but there's just been no real time yet. He'd needed those few beers and time with his team to get himself back in the right frame of mind, to get back to Steve McGarrett the free man, the cop and reserve Navy SEAL instead of Steve McGarrett the inmate and fugitive, always at risk, ever on alert, watchful, borderline paranoid.

He's better now, the escape, evade and survive mindset tucked mostly back where it belongs. He'll rest, gather himself for a few minutes and ask Danny to take him over to Queens to make sure everything's all right. His partner seems to think he's reckless with his health and okay, he can see how it might look that way from the other side of the glass but he's really not. He just knows his limits well; how far he can push his body, how much he can take and for how long. For example, he knows now he can't take any more abuse today, physical or otherwise. He needs rest, sleep and good food for couple days before he's anything other than useless.

He leans his head back against the cool leather of his office chair and exhales, willing his body to stop trembling, the adrenaline crash hitting him full on. He feels cold, lightheaded and he's shaking like a leaf and he's glad the others are too busy to notice. He leans forward in his chair and puts his head between his knees, breathing slow and deep. It takes a few minutes but the tremors eventually subside and his body begins to relax into exhaustion. He sits up and exhales slowly, body heavy with fatigue. He closes his eyes and fills his lungs, finding the calm in the storm of his mind. He sits there, just breathing, not even realizing he's falling asleep.

TBC...

As usual, please review.