Disclaimer 1: I do not own the Stargate universe or any of the inhabitants
therein. They are the property of MGM/Gekko Productions.
Disclaimer 2: Camilla Sandman thought up the idea of Fanfiction universities when she created OFUM, the Official Fanfiction University of Middle-earth. It's a 'must-read'. Please do read it. Many thanks to Miss Cam for giving me the go-ahead to start OFUS
Note 1: Thanks to all those on the Our Stargate, Gateworld and Ascifi forums for their invaluable input. Thanks also to Miss H and the inhabitants of OBAFU for the inspirational ideas and ideas for the course catalogue. I have tried not to plagiarise, but some things in fanfic writers' domains are universal and there are bound to be overlaps. Thanks to Annette for allowing herself to be volunteered for a staff position and last but not least, a massive thanks to Camilla Sandman for her permission to use the idea.
Note 2: If you by any chance discover that I have used your preferred handle and you do object, please let me know and I'll correct this immediately. The chances of making up a name that actually exists are probably very high, and there's no doubt that at some stage I'll make up one belonging to someone real. It's not intentional and I have no wish to cause offence or appear to be targeting anyone.
Part One: Down the rabbit-hole
The night sky was beginning to lighten considerably by the time Mattie leant back in her chair. She gazed with satisfaction at her most recent work and, all things considered, her best. Or so she felt.
The story line she had devised had never been more action filled, angst- ridden and poignant for her favourite TV team from Stargate SG1. She had wrung as much emotional impact out of it as she could within the limits of the story arc and what she considered to be 'canon' information. It did have a little bit of 'ship' in it, but she didn't really consider herself to be a blatant shipper. Unlike many of the fans of the show, she didn't see the evidence of a rampant love affair between Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter, although there certainly was potential in that situation. Sometimes just alluding to it in the plot itself was sufficient to carry on the notion that sometime, way in the future, this wonderfully attractive and charismatic couple may just, somehow, get together. Not to mention have heaps of babies who would all grow up and join the Stargate Programme.
She heaved a huge sigh at the blissful thought.
Of course, no way would she ever suggest that they should do so and flout Air Force regulations while they were still on the same team. Still, a kiss here and a touch of a hand or a glance there, what was so terrible about that? In any case, she comforted herself, she had given plenty of page space and dialogue to both Teal'c and Daniel. Who were, without a doubt both pretty cute in very different ways.
She sighed again.
It was certainly a shame about Jonas though, he was pretty cute too, and he ate bananas in the sexiest way she had ever seen. It was probably best not to dwell on the tight tee shirts either. It would have been nice to put him in the story somewhere, so he could get paired up with Dr Frasier perhaps. Another time maybe? Perhaps a fanfic devoted to Jonas going back home? Hmm, was this another plot bunny rearing its floppy-eared head?
She chortled to herself as she recalled the scene and the conversation that had taken place between Jack and Ba'al the Goa'uld System Lord in her fic. Jack had certainly got his own back on that evil Ba'al, she thought grinning smugly. That'll teach that nasty snakehead to torture poor Jack. Of course Colonel O'Neill had been at his wisecracking best in that scene, and all Ba'al could do was threaten to torture and kill him again. This time, after escaping Ba'al and his gravity chambers by the skin of their teeth, SG1 had managed to level the whole of Ba'al's stronghold without the help of Lord Yu. In the process they had killed a few thousand Jaffa off by planting plenty of claymores and using their P90's to good effect as well.
She frowned a little when she considered this, perhaps she should look up on the net and check what a claymore actually was. It was some kind of bomb, right? Well, whatever they were, Sam was always getting sent to plant them somewhere and they always killed off millions of the enemy so who cared?
Ah, another fine evening's work. She would upload the fic in the morning to Heliopolis, Gateworld and Fanfiction.net and wait for the feedback to come flooding in. She was really too tired to do it tonight. Or rather this morning!
She stretched her arms up above her head and linked her fingers. As she did so, the muscles and sinews cracked painfully along her spine, which wasn't surprising considering the length of time she'd sat hunched in one position, frantically writing the story before the plot bunny escaped down a rabbit hole. Or a wormhole, she chuckled. She closed her eyes and gave a jaw-cracking yawn. Time for bed. Standing up straight might be a problem here though.
Whoa, she thought as she swayed sideways on the chair, I must be more tired than I think. I'm never going to manage to get up for work in the morning. She opened her eyes and the dizziness assailed her again. Getting up proved to be difficult since the floor appeared to be rocking under her feet, but she managed by gripping the computer desk and hauling herself upright. What on earth was wrong with her?
The room had inexplicably darkened somewhat, despite the strong light from the desk lamp and the growing light from the dawn streaked sky. Worse, there were flickers of bright lights, similar to looking through a kaleidoscope, all around the periphery of her vision. Surely this wasn't a migraine? She never suffered from migraines.
"Oh this is bad." She gasped, feeling rather nauseous. "This is very bad."
The solidity of the desk evaporated under her hand and she felt as though she was staggering drunkenly. However, just as she thought she might literally pass out, the sensation stopped and the impetus from the sudden halt propelled her forward. She stumbled a few steps and then doubled up, trying not to retch.
"Easy airman." Said a brusque voice to her left and she felt a firm hand grip her arm to steady her. "The first time is always the worst. You'll get used to it."
Mattie tried desperately to make her mind think in straight rational lines. Used to what? Airman? The dizziness and nausea were clearing somewhat, but she felt chilled to the bone. Was she dreaming? Had she actually dreamt the voice?
Don't so stupid Mattie, she told herself firmly, shutting her eyes tightly. This is just a dream. You fell asleep at your computer and you need to wake up and go to bed. Now, wake up my girl!
She waited for a moment and then opened her eyes again.
No, she was still staring at the floor. Not her floor, which was carpeted in a rather nice shade of green, but a cement floor, and was that a black leather boot she could see to one side of her?
She allowed her eyes to slide a bit further to the left. Yes, it was definitely a boot. Her gaze lifted reluctantly a few inches higher and she discovered that the black leather boot was firmly attached to a green-clad ankle.
"What's the hold up Sergeant?" Said a horribly familiar voice. "These students are supposed to go straight through to the Alpha site to be processed after they've arrived here from the incoming wormhole. We can't have hordes of students collapsing all over the ramp like this blocking the gate! Do we need to alert Sickbay?"
"Sorry Sir! I don't think she's sick sir, just feeling lousy from the wormhole travel. It is her first time after all." Responded the brusque voice.
"Very well, but get her through as soon as she's feeling better. Registration is our busiest time. Processing the students and getting them settled is our first concern."
"Yes Sir!"
The sound of footsteps slowly disappeared as the owner of the familiar voice strode briskly away.
I am asleep, I am asleep, Mattie muttered frantically to herself. That simply couldn't be who she thought it was. It just couldn't! And what the heck was all that about students and registration? For crying out loud, she hadn't been a student for a good few years. This is just a weird, spaced out dream. That'll teach me to sit writing until the wee small hours drinking endless cups of coffee. How does Daniel do that, she wondered.
"Do you think you can straighten up Airman?" A hand gripped her shoulder firmly and began to draw her upwards into a standing position.
Mattie very reluctantly allowed herself to be straightened up slowly. Her gaze travelled up and it went from the boots, up the green BDU-clad leg and torso, until it finally rested on a most familiar face. Now a vague feeling of alarm was nibbling at the back of her mind.
"Siler?" She stuttered in utter disbelief. "Sergeant Siler?"
He patted her shoulder awkwardly.
"I was last time I looked. Feeling better?"
She blinked a number of times in a vain effort to clear her vision. I am asleep, I am asleep, she muttered under her breath.
"Better? I suppose so." She replied most untruthfully. In reality she felt like sheer hell. "But since I'm actually asleep, I guess it doesn't matter does it?"
She put on her brightest smile. After all, if she was going to dream so vividly about her favourite show, she might as well make a good second impression in her dreams at least. The first impression had quite patently sucked.
Siler's face lightened up and he grinned back at her.
"That's great, now just another short journey through the gate and you'll be at the Alpha Site. They'll process you in no time and you'll be settled for the duration."
He began to push her up the ramp. Mattie turned to him, her face had paled and her eyes were wide with apprehension and confusion.
"Gate? Alpha Site? Duration?" She demanded. She was completely bewildered and the little niggling feeling of alarm had magnified a thousandfold by this time. "I don't understand. Where am I going?"
"Up there and through the gate again." Siler pointed up the ramp and her eyes followed his finger.
Her mouth dropped open. In front of her the centre of a huge metal ring with chevrons, a device that looked monstrously familiar, shimmered deep and blue awaiting its next traveller.
The panic that had been simmering away in the background rushed up to the surface in full force. She immediately dug her heels into the ramp and leant backwards pushing hard, despite Siler's hand pushing equally as hard to propel her forwards. For a minute they rocked backwards and forwards in a hilarious parody of a dance. Mattie managed to get a purchase on the handrail and clung on for grim death.
"Oh no, no." She said firmly. "I'm not going in there. I don't have to."
"Yes you do." Said Siler, prising her fingers off the rail one by one as gently as he could.
"No, I don't." She said desperately struggling to regain her death grip on her only solid support. "This is my dream and I say where I go, and I am going to wake up. Now!"
"Whatever you say!" Said Siler, finally wrenching the last finger off the rail.
Before she could grab hold again, he hustled her the rest of the way up the ramp and through the shimmering blue of the wormhole event horizon.
Disclaimer 2: Camilla Sandman thought up the idea of Fanfiction universities when she created OFUM, the Official Fanfiction University of Middle-earth. It's a 'must-read'. Please do read it. Many thanks to Miss Cam for giving me the go-ahead to start OFUS
Note 1: Thanks to all those on the Our Stargate, Gateworld and Ascifi forums for their invaluable input. Thanks also to Miss H and the inhabitants of OBAFU for the inspirational ideas and ideas for the course catalogue. I have tried not to plagiarise, but some things in fanfic writers' domains are universal and there are bound to be overlaps. Thanks to Annette for allowing herself to be volunteered for a staff position and last but not least, a massive thanks to Camilla Sandman for her permission to use the idea.
Note 2: If you by any chance discover that I have used your preferred handle and you do object, please let me know and I'll correct this immediately. The chances of making up a name that actually exists are probably very high, and there's no doubt that at some stage I'll make up one belonging to someone real. It's not intentional and I have no wish to cause offence or appear to be targeting anyone.
Part One: Down the rabbit-hole
The night sky was beginning to lighten considerably by the time Mattie leant back in her chair. She gazed with satisfaction at her most recent work and, all things considered, her best. Or so she felt.
The story line she had devised had never been more action filled, angst- ridden and poignant for her favourite TV team from Stargate SG1. She had wrung as much emotional impact out of it as she could within the limits of the story arc and what she considered to be 'canon' information. It did have a little bit of 'ship' in it, but she didn't really consider herself to be a blatant shipper. Unlike many of the fans of the show, she didn't see the evidence of a rampant love affair between Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter, although there certainly was potential in that situation. Sometimes just alluding to it in the plot itself was sufficient to carry on the notion that sometime, way in the future, this wonderfully attractive and charismatic couple may just, somehow, get together. Not to mention have heaps of babies who would all grow up and join the Stargate Programme.
She heaved a huge sigh at the blissful thought.
Of course, no way would she ever suggest that they should do so and flout Air Force regulations while they were still on the same team. Still, a kiss here and a touch of a hand or a glance there, what was so terrible about that? In any case, she comforted herself, she had given plenty of page space and dialogue to both Teal'c and Daniel. Who were, without a doubt both pretty cute in very different ways.
She sighed again.
It was certainly a shame about Jonas though, he was pretty cute too, and he ate bananas in the sexiest way she had ever seen. It was probably best not to dwell on the tight tee shirts either. It would have been nice to put him in the story somewhere, so he could get paired up with Dr Frasier perhaps. Another time maybe? Perhaps a fanfic devoted to Jonas going back home? Hmm, was this another plot bunny rearing its floppy-eared head?
She chortled to herself as she recalled the scene and the conversation that had taken place between Jack and Ba'al the Goa'uld System Lord in her fic. Jack had certainly got his own back on that evil Ba'al, she thought grinning smugly. That'll teach that nasty snakehead to torture poor Jack. Of course Colonel O'Neill had been at his wisecracking best in that scene, and all Ba'al could do was threaten to torture and kill him again. This time, after escaping Ba'al and his gravity chambers by the skin of their teeth, SG1 had managed to level the whole of Ba'al's stronghold without the help of Lord Yu. In the process they had killed a few thousand Jaffa off by planting plenty of claymores and using their P90's to good effect as well.
She frowned a little when she considered this, perhaps she should look up on the net and check what a claymore actually was. It was some kind of bomb, right? Well, whatever they were, Sam was always getting sent to plant them somewhere and they always killed off millions of the enemy so who cared?
Ah, another fine evening's work. She would upload the fic in the morning to Heliopolis, Gateworld and Fanfiction.net and wait for the feedback to come flooding in. She was really too tired to do it tonight. Or rather this morning!
She stretched her arms up above her head and linked her fingers. As she did so, the muscles and sinews cracked painfully along her spine, which wasn't surprising considering the length of time she'd sat hunched in one position, frantically writing the story before the plot bunny escaped down a rabbit hole. Or a wormhole, she chuckled. She closed her eyes and gave a jaw-cracking yawn. Time for bed. Standing up straight might be a problem here though.
Whoa, she thought as she swayed sideways on the chair, I must be more tired than I think. I'm never going to manage to get up for work in the morning. She opened her eyes and the dizziness assailed her again. Getting up proved to be difficult since the floor appeared to be rocking under her feet, but she managed by gripping the computer desk and hauling herself upright. What on earth was wrong with her?
The room had inexplicably darkened somewhat, despite the strong light from the desk lamp and the growing light from the dawn streaked sky. Worse, there were flickers of bright lights, similar to looking through a kaleidoscope, all around the periphery of her vision. Surely this wasn't a migraine? She never suffered from migraines.
"Oh this is bad." She gasped, feeling rather nauseous. "This is very bad."
The solidity of the desk evaporated under her hand and she felt as though she was staggering drunkenly. However, just as she thought she might literally pass out, the sensation stopped and the impetus from the sudden halt propelled her forward. She stumbled a few steps and then doubled up, trying not to retch.
"Easy airman." Said a brusque voice to her left and she felt a firm hand grip her arm to steady her. "The first time is always the worst. You'll get used to it."
Mattie tried desperately to make her mind think in straight rational lines. Used to what? Airman? The dizziness and nausea were clearing somewhat, but she felt chilled to the bone. Was she dreaming? Had she actually dreamt the voice?
Don't so stupid Mattie, she told herself firmly, shutting her eyes tightly. This is just a dream. You fell asleep at your computer and you need to wake up and go to bed. Now, wake up my girl!
She waited for a moment and then opened her eyes again.
No, she was still staring at the floor. Not her floor, which was carpeted in a rather nice shade of green, but a cement floor, and was that a black leather boot she could see to one side of her?
She allowed her eyes to slide a bit further to the left. Yes, it was definitely a boot. Her gaze lifted reluctantly a few inches higher and she discovered that the black leather boot was firmly attached to a green-clad ankle.
"What's the hold up Sergeant?" Said a horribly familiar voice. "These students are supposed to go straight through to the Alpha site to be processed after they've arrived here from the incoming wormhole. We can't have hordes of students collapsing all over the ramp like this blocking the gate! Do we need to alert Sickbay?"
"Sorry Sir! I don't think she's sick sir, just feeling lousy from the wormhole travel. It is her first time after all." Responded the brusque voice.
"Very well, but get her through as soon as she's feeling better. Registration is our busiest time. Processing the students and getting them settled is our first concern."
"Yes Sir!"
The sound of footsteps slowly disappeared as the owner of the familiar voice strode briskly away.
I am asleep, I am asleep, Mattie muttered frantically to herself. That simply couldn't be who she thought it was. It just couldn't! And what the heck was all that about students and registration? For crying out loud, she hadn't been a student for a good few years. This is just a weird, spaced out dream. That'll teach me to sit writing until the wee small hours drinking endless cups of coffee. How does Daniel do that, she wondered.
"Do you think you can straighten up Airman?" A hand gripped her shoulder firmly and began to draw her upwards into a standing position.
Mattie very reluctantly allowed herself to be straightened up slowly. Her gaze travelled up and it went from the boots, up the green BDU-clad leg and torso, until it finally rested on a most familiar face. Now a vague feeling of alarm was nibbling at the back of her mind.
"Siler?" She stuttered in utter disbelief. "Sergeant Siler?"
He patted her shoulder awkwardly.
"I was last time I looked. Feeling better?"
She blinked a number of times in a vain effort to clear her vision. I am asleep, I am asleep, she muttered under her breath.
"Better? I suppose so." She replied most untruthfully. In reality she felt like sheer hell. "But since I'm actually asleep, I guess it doesn't matter does it?"
She put on her brightest smile. After all, if she was going to dream so vividly about her favourite show, she might as well make a good second impression in her dreams at least. The first impression had quite patently sucked.
Siler's face lightened up and he grinned back at her.
"That's great, now just another short journey through the gate and you'll be at the Alpha Site. They'll process you in no time and you'll be settled for the duration."
He began to push her up the ramp. Mattie turned to him, her face had paled and her eyes were wide with apprehension and confusion.
"Gate? Alpha Site? Duration?" She demanded. She was completely bewildered and the little niggling feeling of alarm had magnified a thousandfold by this time. "I don't understand. Where am I going?"
"Up there and through the gate again." Siler pointed up the ramp and her eyes followed his finger.
Her mouth dropped open. In front of her the centre of a huge metal ring with chevrons, a device that looked monstrously familiar, shimmered deep and blue awaiting its next traveller.
The panic that had been simmering away in the background rushed up to the surface in full force. She immediately dug her heels into the ramp and leant backwards pushing hard, despite Siler's hand pushing equally as hard to propel her forwards. For a minute they rocked backwards and forwards in a hilarious parody of a dance. Mattie managed to get a purchase on the handrail and clung on for grim death.
"Oh no, no." She said firmly. "I'm not going in there. I don't have to."
"Yes you do." Said Siler, prising her fingers off the rail one by one as gently as he could.
"No, I don't." She said desperately struggling to regain her death grip on her only solid support. "This is my dream and I say where I go, and I am going to wake up. Now!"
"Whatever you say!" Said Siler, finally wrenching the last finger off the rail.
Before she could grab hold again, he hustled her the rest of the way up the ramp and through the shimmering blue of the wormhole event horizon.