Chapter 1: An Old Threat

The area around her expressed a gloomy feel. No vibrant colors existed here. Only the distinct palette of brown, green, and black making up the deep roads. Walls made of rock carved a single narrow walkway in front of her which seemed to go on for an eternity. Most would flee the wretched place, but to her, it felt like home.

"Return to us," a slithering voice called. With it, twisted music rang, begging for her presence. She could not help but follow the sound, letting it guide her every move.

Minutes passed and somehow she had managed to reach an opening. The walkway became smaller, as it lead out onto an edge. Maria moved toward it, still tranced by the sweet enthralling sound. Her movements were steady, deathlike until she reached the edge. Dust and rocks flung over the plateau, and as she looked down below it revealed a maze of roadways.

Waves of darkspawn stood, glaring up at her. Creatures with gray tainted skin from the blight. Their heads appeared aged and veins of black weaved an intricate web around their bodies. They were shaped like humans, elves, or dwarves depending on what broodmother gave birth to them. And they held weapons and armor like any other race. Together they were an army ready for war.

And like she had recognized them, they, in turn, had recognized her. There were so many of them. More than a horde, droves of them which went well beyond into the tunnels where she could not see. At one time she was their enemy, yet none of them bothered to draw weapons or to even move. Instead, they asked her to join them. Their voices called out to her, yearned for her to become a mother. She nodded in agreement and as she walked over the edge, she fell. But before she could join them, blackness swept over her.

Maria's eyes opened, her chest collapsing and rising hard in an attempt to keep up with her hard breaths. Heat soaked at her body, causing her gown and blanket to become stuck to her. It almost felt like she had been out running for hours in the midst of a hot sunny day.

Grabbing at the fine white and green silk, she tossed it aside. Cold air pressed against her skin. In an attempt to calm herself she closed her eyes and let out a long sigh, trying to focus on happier thoughts, rather than the nightmare. Her breathing steadied, and slowly her body felt cooler.

Once she had relaxed, she opened her eyes once more and gazed around the Denerim royal chambers. The mirror which stood on top of the desk was the only thing she could see against the shadows of the room. The moonlight from above cast itself onto it, providing a nice ray of light.

Turning her head she expected to see her husband, Alistair. Instead, the bed laid empty of him. Her forehead deepened. "Did he have the dream too?"

She shook her head at calling it that. She knew it wasn't a dream. It was far worse, a calling. And now it haunted her. In the back of her mind, she knew that according to Grey Warden tradition, it would almost be time for her to go to the deep roads. There she would wander alone until either the blight drove her to death or until the darkspawn took her. One last battle before it all ended. A battle she did not want to wage.

Maria moved the cover off of her and sat up on the bed. Her bare feet felt soft against the fine golden and green silk rug beneath her. She walked over to the dresser and grabbed for a match that laid atop it and lit one of her favorite candles. She inhaled slightly, taking in the sweet lavender aroma. It relaxed her, and she took a seat on the chair as she prepared to groom herself.

It couldn't be ignored any longer. The threat had grown too big. Yet, there was always an excuse not to go. Not to worry.

She reached for the large square comb that laid next to the mirror. Once in hand, she brushed the long blonde hair that cascaded down her back. She had let it grow and now it was only a few inches away from her waist. It did not separate easily and she found herself pushing on the brush forcing it to smooth her hair.

At one stride the brush got caught. She jerked on it harder and harder until it felt like her hair would pull away from her scalp. "Dammit," she yelled, as the hair finally gave, parts of it tearing into the fine hairs of the comb. Slamming the comb down, she let out a hollow giggle. "Look at me now," she said, staring into the mirror. With her hair back she could see her high cheekbones, which smoothed out her lightly tanned face. Soft blue eyes gazed back at her. They were not her own.

"Most people only see the Queen now," she mumbled. Most people did forget who she truly was. All of her past triumphs now masked away behind the makeup and perfume.

She sat there twirling her hair in loops. How long would they wait? Her own reflection seemed to mock her, tugging at her to come to the same conclusion it already had. "Yes, I know."

She pulled back her gown. Opening one of the drawers, she brought out a strap with a sheath. Wrapping it around her thigh, she tugged until it felt tight against her skin. Satisfied with it, she found the dagger underneath the desk, grabbed it and sheathed it before pulling the gown back over.

Now she just had to find Alistair. She went over to the door, opened it and took note of the guard who stood there guarding the chambers. He wore brass like armor, which covered him from head to toe minus the helmet. And of course on the chest plate was the white and green of Denerim's colors, along with the three white diamonds and the green sun.

"Good morning, Eames."

"Good morning milady," he replied, bowing at the waist. Rising back up, he added, "Do you require my assistance?"

"Actually, I was hoping to know if you had seen my husband?" He had always acted oddly around her and tonight was no different. Always jumping to see if she needed help, or if she had some task for him to carry out. She supposed he meant well, but with a closely shaven head and dark brown eyes, she almost wondered. There had been talk about traitors in the castle after all, and his looks and attitude did him no favors. It was almost like he was trying too hard.

Eames looked down the hall before them. "Went that way, oh bout a few hours ago. Said he was having bad dreams, he did."

Maria's heart sank at hearing those words. So he did hear the calling. He always hid it from her. Or at least he tried. She knew it was to keep her safe, but he could be so stubborn at times that she wanted to beat the truth out of him.

"Could you have Aienna prepare my things? Not my Queenly stuff, but my armor and weapons."

The expression on his face turned to shock."I suppose... I...I...I could. Any particular reason milady?" he stumbled, nervous and scratching at his face. "I just mean. Well, is there something amiss? Those things were put away for good reason you know? I mean your husband he..." at the look, she gave him he dropped it. He could tell there was no winning in this conversation.

"Trust me, if I felt or knew of any danger, you'd be the first to know."

Eames reached out and held her shoulder. She paused and stared at the hand. "Milady, with all due respect. You are the kindest Queen I have ever had the pleasure of serving. You make it a point to remember our names. Please. If there is anything you need, you only need but ask."

She stared at him. "I believe I asked to have Aienna prepare my things? Unless I'm mistaken?"

At that, he knew his defeat, as he bowed again in silence, before rushing off toward Aienna's room.

She watched him and felt a small pinch of pain working in her stomach. "I really am sorry," she whispered, holding her amulet, around her heart. She stared at the white griffon for a while. The trademark for who she was. "I am sorry for everything I must do."

The amulet fell against her as she went down the opposite way of Eames at a steady even stride. Her bare feet were cold against the tiled floors and that cold matched what was inside of her. The dark secret that she held within herself. One she did not even tell Alistair. And she knew if anyone found out, a war would find itself in Ferelden once more. A war she knew, they could not win.

In reality too much was happening too fast. She had been foolish in thinking she had time. But it felt like she had just gotten used to her duties as a Queen, and the life that came with it. Now she would have to live with the reality the world was throwing at her. Time was not on her side.

At the armory door, she pushed her hand against it. The heavy door creaked and squealed as she slowly opened it and went inside.

Torchlights created shadows of the armor and weapons that hung on various stands and racks littered throughout the room. And despite the warm glow, there was a coolness in the air here. Grabbing the door with her hand, she shut the door behind her, before slumping back against it. "Oh, Alistair. What have we done?"

After thinking about what to do or even say to Alistair, she lifted herself off of the door and walked to the middle of the room. In a hurry, she unwrapped her robe, as it fell to the floor. Then she tugged at the sheath's strap undoing it. Once it was undone she brought it up unsheathed the dagger and gazed at it. It was funny how one simple thing could speak of the distrust she felt and the events that lead her to be that way.

She pictured herself dying. Giving into the cold hard world. Alistair no doubt would be distraught by her death, and that would cause the nation to break. But she had grown very tired. A life full of war, betrayal, and politics. She had enough. Yet, suicide wasn't the answer. The nation would not just break, it would crumble.

A sudden knock alerted her to the door. "Yes," she yelled. The harsh tone of her voice made her flinch.

"I-it is just me milady," came Aienna's soft mouse-like voice.

"You can enter." The tone did not sit well with her, and she tried pushing away the negative thoughts. After all, Aienna had not done this to her. Nobody had. Except maybe herself.

The noise of Aienna opening the door slowly filled the silent room. A passive girl by nature, Maria always liked having her around as she was a good contrast to herself. As she stepped into the room, Maria noticed her brown ponytail hung over her shoulder and the pointy ears that marked her as an elf.

"Bad time mam?" She said rather bluntly.

"No, Aienna. I don't think there will ever be a good time. Not for this." She sat down on the bench, the weight of her body threatening to set her off balance.

Aienna's eyes sagged. She hated seeing her like this, and Maria, in turn, hated having her worry.

"Come Aienna," she motioned with her hand.

Aienna sauntered toward her, holding Maria's belongings in her hands. "Where would you like them?"

Maria signaled to the spot next to her. She watched Aienna place them there. With the items in arms reach, she pressed her hand over them, shifting through the armor and weapons. Aienna had brought everything she needed.

"Thank you, Aienna. If you would not mind helping me put them on?"

Aienna gave a courteous bow, "of course milady."

Maria shook her head. "Aienna how many times do I have to tell you? You don't have to bow like that when it's only the two of us. Nor do you have to use the noble title. I'm just like you, no better, okay?"

Aienna stood straight, rising about as quickly as she had fallen. "Of course, sorry," she smiled innocently.

Maria returned the smile and reached for the leather chest piece. It's purple and brown colors danced along the flames, attempting to cast shadows upon it. With one quick motion, she glided the piece over her until it fit comfortably over her torso. Next, she slipped on leggings of similar color, and a dark pair of boots.

"There now if you could attach the sheaths for my weapons and do up my back."

Aienna wasted no time, in seconds Maria could feel her hands gripping on the armor. She was soft, but her hands always held firm when it came to working.

"There," she said.

Maria turned around to watch the slim girl back away from her. She checked both blades, first unleashing Starfang. The bright blue blade had an even darker tone in the shape of veins, almost as if the blade itself was alive. Next, she looked at the red dagger. Both were sharp and still in one piece.

"It seems Alistair kept his promise to me." She let out a sigh, wishing there was another way.

"Maria?"

"Nothing, nevermind." Aienna slumped down at that. Maria started for the door when a sudden bout of crying caught her attention.

"Aienna?" She turned to see the woman on the floor he legs bent toward each other, head face down into her eyes. "Aienna, what is wrong?"

Her head lifted. "I am sorry," she started brushing away the tears with her arm. "It's just I've never seen you so disturbed. And before you say you're not, pardon me for speaking to you this way, but you have never asked for those things. You have never raised your voice to me even once in eight years. I wish you would just..." her voice trailed off.

Maria froze. She had not realized the pain her unease was causing her servant. No, her friend. Even after all these years, it was hard. "Please Aienna-"

Aienna nodded as she rushed to her feet. "As you command. I'll do whatever, whenever. You don't have to tell me...twice," she said, but the last part came out weak.

Maria smiled. "I know. I must do this alone, however."

Aienna said nothing more, only passing her and going for the door in silence. Maria went to follow but stopped as Aienna stood still and turned to face her. "I only hope someday, you can trust me enough," she said in a low whimper.

Shocked at her words, Maria stood there, as Aienna disappeared into the hallway. She had never meant to hurt the woman and she was sure she didn't mean to hurt her. But it wasn't a matter of trust. There was no way she could even begin to explain everything she knew or everything she felt. Besides even if she could Aienna would not look at her the same way. In the normal world, she would be seen as a monster.

She let out a sigh, none of that mattered now. For now, she just needed to find Alistair and hope the calling had not grabbed hold of him. If it did, he would have traveled to the deep roads and if that was the case, she knew chances of finding him were weak at best.

Determined she went down the hallway, her figure going in and out of the lights stationed around the castle. She took a right, passing by some guards patrolling the area. They seemed surprised at her attire. One spoke up to inquire about it, but when she passed them clearly in a hurry, they did not bother to press the matter.

After many twists and turns and even going down some stairs, she finally arrived at the exit of the castle and motioned for one of the men. "Jaharl, right?"

"Yes, milady?" he asked, giving a salute.

"Have you seen the King?"

He pointed out toward the courtyard. "Ah, yes. He went out with some of the guardsmen. Said he could not sleep and wanted to get some fresh air. Something about, patrolling with the men doing him some good."

She relaxed, her whole body shifting to a more normal state. "Thank goodness," she said. Her eyes gleamed down toward the steps leading to the courtyard. Forgetting she was in the middle of a conversation, she went to leave.

Yet, before she went too far the guard faked a cough. "Ahh sorry, Jaharl. Thank you. This news puts my mind at ease," she said, grasping his shoulder.

"Not a problem, but is something wrong?"

She did not answer him, instead turning and heading out into the cool moonlit night. Everything was wrong, how could it not be? Yet, to the world, all seemed okay. If only they knew what she did. As her mind kept racing for a better answer, she just kept on walking, following the path the guards normally took. For now, she needed to find Alistair. After that, she could worry about the rest.

Author's Note

If you have gotten this far, then I appreciate you taking the time to read this and I hope you have enjoyed the little adventure in this Chapter. As it stands right now I will release two chapters per week one in the first half and one in the second. If you have enjoyed the story and my writing, it would be super awesome if you could take a look at my page. You don't have to donate, but there you can find information about my personal project. And if you would like to help with that dream, then I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You can find links for that on my profile page. Thank you all, so much.

~Renee. J. Branson