The One I'm Kissing
The others were going to celebrate the New Year by watching the fireworks on television but Ross just wanted to be alone. They'd be playing kissing games under the mistletoe and he didn't want to join.
He could get lost, he could get mugged, he could get injured in the crowds, but he was going out anyway. He set off for Times Square before anyone could stop him. Tonight, he preferred to be alone.
His marriage was over in a ridiculously short time. It was one thing to have a marriage end because a wife had discovered she was a lesbian - that was something that had made him a bit of a joke, though fortunately not with his friends. He had accepted by now that he had not turned her into a lesbian, and that it wasn't his fault. These things happened - why they should happen to him was a mystery but they did.
But a marriage that failed through a series of incidents beginning with him saying "Rachel" was something else. The few outsiders who had heard the story blamed him for it, which wasn't fair. It was an accident, a series of accidents, he hadn't meant to hurt her. Had he done enough to save the marriage? When it came down to it, he couldn't accede to her demands. It was so hard to reason with someone a continent away and over the phone. If he'd seen her face to face, he could have reassured her. In the end, she'd have to stop hitting him and listen. Too late to think about that now.
He passed couples walking arm in arm, laughing and giggling, like he should have been. This New Year's Eve, he should have been with his wife, sharing their first New Year, but instead, he was alone and Emily would be kissing someone else this New Year's eve. He couldn't imagine her being alone. He looked at his watch. New Year's Eve would be over for her by now, and she might even have already Those thoughts didn't help at all. He walked faster, head down.
At Times Square, he wondered lonely through the crowd, the faces passing him by a blur - until one arrested him. There was a woman in the crowd with a woolly hat on and a coat with a fake fur collar. It couldn't be He could see under the woolly hat that the hair was too short - but since when did people stop having haircuts? It was her.
Just as he realised it was her, she moved and he found himself following. Who was she with? Why was she here? Has she seen him? Why were there so many people in the way. It seemed as though he had lost her, until he stepped back in the crowd and heard her say,
'Ow!' He wheeled around.
'I'm sorry.' She stared up at him in amazement and suddenly he found himself trembling.
'Ross? What are you doing here?'
'What are you doing here?' Ross countered.
'I wanted to see the fireworks,' she said.
'Don't you have them in London?'
'Yes, but I've never seen them here before. If' If things had worked out they'd be seeing them together. But they were together right now - except. She gave him a look. 'Aren't you with someone?'
'No!'
'You don't have to shout,' Emily said.
'Well, I mean no,' Ross said, 'You're wrong, totally wrong if you think that I'm with Rachel. I am not with Rachel.'
'You want to be.'
'No, that's over, it was always over.'
'But,' she began, shook herself, and then said, 'So you're seeing someone else then? You must be.' He thought about lying but then said,
'No. And you?' She shrugged. 'You are.'
'You don't expect me to hang around desperate and dateless do you? If it's over, it's over.'
'Yeah,' Ross said, stung, 'I know that.'
'It's not that it's serious or anything,' Emily said. 'It's not as though I'm going to marry him.' She gave a short laugh and then gritted her teeth. That wasn't funny for anyone. The crowd surged, pushing Emily into Ross's arms.
'So any New Year's resolutions?' He would push her away again as soon as there was room. Emily bit her lip and looked away.
'I've thought of some, but I know I'll break them,' she said.
'I've forgotten my New Years resolutions.'
It was over, he shouldn't be holding her in his arms. She should be trying to get away. She was in a relationship with someone else - but she wasn't spending New Year's with that someone else. It wasn't serious, and he had won before over competition
What the hell was he thinking? He should let her go at once, because it was over. But he enjoyed holding her and she seemed to have settled into his arms.
'You're going to miss the fireworks,' he said. She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. 'Hey don't cry,' he said, suddenly feeling like crying himself.
'I can't help it.' Her voice wobbled and she buried her face in his chest again.
'B-but, you've come a long way,' he said, knowing he was speaking nonsense. 'It'll be a whole year before you can see anything like this again. The fireworks here are great. And - and you, you probably won't be here because you'll be with someone else.'
'I don't want to be with someone else,' Emily said, looking up at him. Neither did he. There were a lot of things they were going to need to talk about, but they were going to talk about them.
Someone in fancy dress, skipping through the crowd throwing streamers around, danced around them, binding them with a red streamer. They didn't even notice as the fancy dress person doffed his hat bowed, and skipped into the crowd to bestow his attentions elsewhere. In the background, a countdown was starting and Ross began to kiss her.