AN: Hello I do not normally write humor... this isn't random humor though, btw. I dunno what to classify it as but it's not random.

Disclaimer: I do not own The Prince of Tennis

ROYAL PAIR, ROYAL PAIN

Step 1 : Intervention

It all started when Eiji Kikumaru overheard the phone call. Ryoma Echizen had a smile on his face and was laughing, though only slightly.

"Mada mada, dane," the boy was saying. "You think it'll be that easy?"

There was a pause and another slight laugh.

"You're so cocky, Keigo."

Eiji, who was listening safely from the opposite side of the wall, stopped to consider this… Keigo. Who was Keigo?

"Ok then. Cya later," Ryoma was now saying. He ended the call and placed the phone in his pocket, shouldering his school bag and walking away with that same smile on his face.

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"Ochibi is in love!" Eiji exclaimed, running back to his friends who had just rounded the corner, ready to go home. It was the last day before summer break, so of course they'd be annoyed at being stopped… but then again, Echizen in love? What could Eiji be talking about? Oishi asked just that.

"Eiji, what are you talking about?"

"He was smiling and laughing on the phone!" Eiji exclaimed. "And then when he got off he walked off still smiling, nya!"

Inui pulled out his notebook, "Yes this does seem to be the behavior of one in the state of infatuation. I have also noticed some peculiarities in him lately but hadn't a chance to fully observe him"

"He… he could have been talking to his best friend or maybe his mom," Taka reasoned.

"No! He was talking to someone named Keigo!" Eiji waved his arms up and down frantic.

"Keigo…" Fuji mused. "We all know a Keigo."

"We do?" Eiji asked.

Fuji nodded. "Yes, it's--"

"Atobe," Tezuka said, finally speaking. Unfortunately, that's all he said so everyone turned their attention back to little Fuji.

"Yes, Atobe. It seems our dear Ryoma has a thing for Atobe," Fuji said with a laugh.

"No! Ochibi has a girlfriend before me!" Eiji anguished.

"I wouldn't call Atobe a girlfriend," Taka again reasoned.

"Still! I want a girlfriend!" Eiji groaned.

"This is absolutely unacceptable!" Oishi suddenly exclaimed, startling everyone around them.

"Shuichirou!" Eiji gasped. "Don't do that, nya!"

"No, Eiji! I'm serious!" Oishi went on, worrying like a madman. "Is Atobe really serious? He might hurt poor Ryoma-kun. He's such a good boy and Atobe is such a--- We can't let that Hyotei scum corrupt our Ryoma! Besides, I always figured he'd end up with Tezuka."

Immediately, 5 pairs of eyes turned to Tezuka. Tezuka crossed his arms, trying best to not look bothered.

"What! Ochibi and Tezuka!?" Eiji asked.

"Don't believe everything you hear," Tezuka replied calmly. However, he couldn't help the slight pink threatening to assault his cheeks.

"Well, regardless, it's obvious that Echizen likes Atobe and not Tezuka," Inui said, scribbling a note.

Tezuka felt a stab in the chest.

"What should we do?" Taka inquired.

"We must stop this before it starts!" Oishi exclaimed.

"Yes, nya! We must have Ochibi see he doesn't need a stinky Atobe when he has his own Buchou right here!" Eiji patted Tezuka's back.

"Ok, I'm leaving," Tezuka announced, turning to walk away. Fuji grabbed his arm.

"You're not going anywhere," the genius smiled. "Now. Eiji you call Momo. Inui you call Kaidoh. We've got ourselves a real situation here."

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45 minutes later at the Echizen home.

"Ok, so you know the plan?" Oishi asked one more time.

He and the other regulars were all gathered outside of Echizen's home going over the plan one more time.

"Yes, I go and ask for Echizen," Momo said. "Then when he comes out we all ambush him in the genkan!"

"Yes! And leave the interrogating to me," Fuji smiled. He then turned to Taka, "If he acts up you beat him into submission."

"What---- but--" Taka began. But Fuji put a racket in his hand. "BURNING! I'll save you RYOMA!"

"This is so stupid," Kaidoh hissed. Tezuka agree but said nothing as Fuji was keeping a firm hold on him.

Taka, crazy from holding the racket, ran to the door.

"NO! Taka! Wait!" Momo shouted!

It was too late, Taka began to bang in the door. Nanjiroh came around from the back.

"What are you kids doing?" he demanded.

"BURNING! Is Ryoma-kun home?" Taka was the only one talking since the others were so scared of getting in trouble for banging in the door.

Nanjiroh was a bit freaked out by the site of the tall child waving the racket madly and asking for his son.

"He went out," Nanjiroh said.

"Out?" Fuji asked, prying the racket from Taka's hands and succeeding.

"Yeah with some kid calling himself Ore-sama," Nanjiroh replied.

"Oh noes!" Eiji gasped. "It's too late, nya!"

"No it's not!" Oishi said with a determined face. "Tezuka, if you were to take Ryoma on a date, where would it be?"

Tezuka's eye twitched.

"Come on! You would know more than anyone where they would be! Just think!" Oishi pleaded. "Think like an Atobe and Ryoma."

"I'd rather not," Tezuka muttered. But then loudly said, "Tennis."

"What?" Oishi asked.

"Tennis. I'd take him to play tennis," Tezuka said, doing well in hiding his embarrassment.

"Then it's been decided! Let's go look at the tennis courts!" Oishi commanded.

All of the boys followed their vice captain leaving Tezuka behind.

"Sorry," he apologized to Nanjiroh for his team mates.

"Come on, buchou!" Momoshirou shouted back at him.

Tezuka followed, groaning inwardly. This wasn't the perfect start to his summer vacation at all.

To be continued….

AN: Tezuka is like the hardest person to write EVER. uhm... lots of OOC here but I hope to get better at it as it progresses. Will this fic be Pillar Pair? I dunno... will it? They are my OTP though so there will be lots of hints... hehehe. Thanks for reading and please review!