Just a little bit of fluff written for the Me and Thee list "pets" challenge. This takes place in the same universe and during the same time period as my stories The Right and Proper Season and A Twice-told Tale.
I don't own Starsky and Hutch, and I'm not making any money.
Slash, nothing explicit.
Birds Do It
"And that's why birds do it, bees do it
Even educated fleas do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love"
"Lets Do It"
Cole Porter
ooOO0OOoo
When Hutch first brought Starsky home from the hospital to the small cottage he'd arranged for them to housesit while Starsky recovered, he didn't think of the pets that were included as part of the deal as anything more than something that had to be dealt with, just like mowing the lawn, occasionally mopping the kitchen floor, and locking up the doors at night.
However, after a little while, he actually found some enjoyment in caring for the small Jack Russell terrier, Euripides. He found that the time he spent walking the dog in the evening gave him time to relax, to come to grips with the cares of the day and his worries over Starsky's condition. He found he enjoyed the engaging personality he began to discover in Euripides, and that throwing a ball for him to fetch over and over again was a great way to unwind, and let his mind empty. Almost as good as meditation.
He didn't pay as much attention to the two parakeets, Petey and Jeff. They didn't need much caring for, just to be fed and watered each night, and covered. Once a week their cage needed to be cleaned, but that was pretty minor in the scheme of things. He was surprised, therefore, when he found out how important they had become to Starsky.
Starsky tried to explain. "My grandma, the one who lived over the Italian restaurant, Grandma Starsky, she had a parakeet. When I hear that noise they make, it's like being a kid back in her apartment again. And they're really cute little guys, too."
He did wonder about their names. "They both have guy names. How do you tell if a parakeet's a guy or a girl, anyway, Hutch?"
Hutch shrugged. "I don't suppose it would matter to them even if you gave them a name for the wrong sex."
But Starsky was curious enough about it to ask their owner, Mrs. Jacobs, when she made her once-a-week call from Oxford, where she and her husband, a college professor, were taking a sabbatical for a year and a half. Although Starsky had still been hospitalized when the Jacobs left, so they had never met in person, he had taken over the task of answering the phone when she made her calls, and had quickly charmed her.
"Oh yes, Dave, dear, they're both boys. You can tell by the ceres. That's the place around their nostrils where there isn't any feathers. See how it's blue on both of them? That means they're males."
"So what would girls have, pink?" Starsky joked.
Mrs. Jacobs laughed. "Well actually, dear, yes, they can be pink. But they can also be orange or even brown if they're getting ready to lay eggs. But Petey and Jeff are both boys. If you're really interested, I think I still have the book from when we first got them around the house somewhere. I think it's in the big bookcase in the spare room."
The spare room was where Hutch was sleeping, so Starsky hadn't had a chance to look through that bookcase yet for things to read. But he went looking then, and soon had the book. Afterwards his conversations with Hutch were peppered with random trivia about parakeets.
"They come originally from Australia, you know, Hutch. But they've been bred in captivity for over a hundred years. And the ones in the wild are green like Petey, but they can be bred to all different colors, blue like Jeff, or yellow, and even white."
Hutch got tired of hearing about parakeets after awhile, but he didn't say so. He was too glad to have Starsky alive and spouting trivia to make a fuss over anything. Still, he figured that eventually he knew everything there was to know about the birds second hand from Starsky.
In the beginning as they settled into the cottage, Starsky spent most of his time lying on the couch, either sleeping, reading, or watching TV, listening to the parakeet's happy twittering.
In the evenings, if they were alone, Hutch would join him, and they talked, or played games. Sometimes Hutch played his guitar and sang. The parakeets would chirp along, and once or twice Euripides joined in, though they learned to avoid the songs that caused him to howl the loudest.
Then eventually Starsky would fall asleep leaning against Hutch. Hutch would let him sleep for awhile, then wake him up and tuck him into the master bedroom, then walk the dog, feed the birds, and go to bed himself in the spare room.
In their covered cage the birds slept quietly, and in his wicker basket in the kitchen, Euripides slept. Starsky slept soundly in the Jacobs queen sized bed. And in the spare room, Hutch tried to sleep, some times successfully, some times not.
As Starsky recovered, he was awake more, though he still spent a lot of his time on the couch. But now sometimes he would join Hutch as he walked the dog. They would go the two blocks down to the beach, and play fetch with pieces of driftwood. Then they would go back home, Hutch would make dinner, and afterwards they would spend the evenings together. Eventually, just as always, Hutch would tuck Starsky into bed, and go to bed himself in the spare room.
Then one day Starsky sat Hutch down in the living room while the parakeets sang and Euripides dozed, and had a long conversation with him. And after that the spare bedroom wasn't used, and there was less sleeping going on in the master bedroom than before.
For the next few days after that conversation, Starsky was happier than he'd ever been before.
But something was bothering Hutch and Starsky noticed. Finally, he sat Hutch down for another conversation.
"Hutch, are you having second thoughts about this? About us?"
"God no, Starsk. You're all I ever wanted." Hutch hoped his sincerity was obvious.
"Then what's wrong?"
"Nothing! There's nothing wrong!"
Starsky looked at him sternly, and Hutch felt himself blushing. "Hutch, you can never lie to me. I know you too well. Something's going on in that blond head of yours, and I want to know what it is."
Hutch sighed, knowing Starsky wouldn't stop until he'd gotten his answer. "It's just… It's not that I don't want you, or this. It's that it's gonna' take some time to get used to thinking of myself this way, that's all. It's the way I was brought up. Starsk, I'm sorry, Babe, but somewhere inside there's a little voice telling me it's unnatural. It'll just take some time, to get used to it."
Starsky sighed. "Shoulda' known you'd be over thinking, darlin'." He kissed Hutch firmly, and then pulled away as Hutch started to lean into it. "If you want to take some time apart, step back from it, I'll understand."
"No!" There was alarm in Hutch's tone. "I don't want that! I just need to get used to the thought, that's all. I'm not going to get used to it if I'm not doing it!" He pulled Starsky to him to continue the kiss.
After the kiss ended, Starsky laughed in relief. "Well, OK then. But maybe it's not as unnatural as you think it is, Hutch. Ever think of that? You know something about our two little friends up there?" He pointed up at the birdcage.
Hutch shook his head.
"While I was just lyin' here, I didn't have much energy to do a lot of stuff and I just watched the birds a lot. And I started wondering what I was seein', cause it sure looked like it had somethin' to do with the birds 'n the bees. Pardon the pun. That's why I asked Mrs. Jacobs if she was sure they were both guys. So when she said they were, I went to read that book she had, and you know what I found out?"
Hutch shook his head again.
"I found out that sometimes two parakeets will mate even if they're the same sex. And that's what's goin' on with our two little guys here, Hutch. They're a happy couple. Nothin' unnatural about it if birds do it too, right?"
Hutch laughed. "I guess you got me there, Babe."
"It's like that old song."
"What song?" Hutch found that somehow without him quite knowing how, Starsky had gotten him to the bedroom door and was leading him towards the bed.
"Aw you know the one, Hutch." Starsky softly sang. "'Birds do it, bees do it…"
The rest of the song got lost along with the pile of discarded clothing.
Up in their cage, the two birds chirruped happily.