I look over to Clarke, her eyes closed, her breathing steady. She is not the ambassador, she is not a wanheda, she is not a leader or a daughter. She is just Clarke.
She tightens her grip around my waist as she nuzzles further into my neck, she fits perfectly against me. My mind flashes back to just a few hours back, her ragged breathing, clutching me like I was her lifeline; whispering in my ear telling me she was mine, telling me she needed me, all of me.
I sigh in content when I feel her tracing letters on my stomach, her touch is like a feather, so graceful and delicate.
"Lexa" She whispers into my neck, pulling me closer she leaves the kindest kiss to my skin.
"hmmm" Is all I can reply, in this peace; this serenity I'm careful not to shatter this bliss.
"Do, do you believe in soulmates?" She asks hesitantly, almost like she's scared.
"Why would our souls need friends Clarke?" I ask in a state of confusion, these sky people and their odd ways often perplex me.
"no Lexa you don't understand" She lets out a throaty laugh, one almost as if she was crying "a soulmate is like a best friend, but also a lover; one person who you are connected to indefinitely by your souls. Someone who knew you and accepted you even when they didn't really know you, someone who you love endlessly whether you want to or not, someone you are fated to be with, your hearts own destiny" she whispers at the end and I feel a fresh tear latch onto my skin.
As I let the words sink in, I wonder if she has ever really believed in love. Why would she need to even consider this to be a question when it is a known fact? I wonder what she believed love was before and whether she has truly believed in it. She says love is strength and at this point I do agree, but these skaikru they speak about it in such artificial terms most of the time.
"Lexa?" Clarke looks up at me this time, shuffling up so I can finally see those ocean blue eyes, and I realise I must have been thinking for far too long.
"Of course I believe in soulmates Clarke, it's common knowledge that one's soul is tethered to another, or do you think its just by coincidence in a world full of people there's only one that you fall in love with?" I state as a matter of fact.
"So, was Costia your soulmate then? That's what you're saying" She looks away disappointed, a tear making its way from now sad looking eyes.
"No Clarke, that's not what I'm saying; why so many questions?" I demand, not out of anger but out of curiosity.
"Its just, mmm, nothing it doesn't matter" She spits out in a nervous stutter pulling away from me to get out the bed, I flip my legs over to straddle her so she can't move. Pulling her face towards mine I pull her in for a soft chaste kiss.
"I just, I thought, before, last night … before we , you know, … I thought you were going to say 'that's why I love you' , but you didn't you just said that's why you're you' I thought you loved me but I was wrong and I'm sorry for assuming that…."
I cut her off with a searing kiss, how could she not know? I swipe my tongue across her lower lip, seeking entrance which she effortlessly gives me. I kiss her with everything I am, every ounce of passion, every ounce of love.
"Truthfully Clarke, I wasn't sure whether you were ready to hear those words from my lips. I wasn't sure whether I deserved to even say them, let alone feel them. But you never have to worry Clarke kom skaikru, ai hod yu in, I love you. You are my soulmate". I whisper into her lips kissing her again, I pull back to wipe the tears from her eyes. She knows, she knows I love her, she had me- she always has.
"I love you, I love you Lexa and I don't want to waste another minute without you. You're my home, my safety, my love. You really believe I am your soulmate, not Costia?" She asks, I'm not entirely sure whether its out of shock, or whether she is really questioning me.
"I am certain of it Clarke, I loved Costia… but I was never fully in love with her, we were too young to know what it meant I think; I could control my feelings around her. With you I couldn't control them even when I wanted to, the jealousy when I realised that Bellamy boy liked you; the heartache I felt when I left you at the mountain, the disgust I felt in myself when I saw you again, when I saw what I had turned you into. But the love I never lost, the love always hit me like what is it you skaikru say? A ton of bricks? My love for you never wavered. You are my soulmate Clarke for now and for eternity. My soul is bound to yours." I poured my heart out to her, letting her know all my feelings, my thoughts, my truths.
She doesn't speak, not a word for a while. She just holds me inevitably closer, pressing a kiss to my head she clams her breathing.
"My soul honours your soul. I honour the place in where the entire universe resides. I honour the light, love, truth, beauty and peace within you, because It is also within me. In sharing these things, we are united, we are the same, we are one."
"Clarke, that was beautiful; what was that?" I ask breathlessly in awe, pulling back all I see is love in her eyes, I can't help but stare into the powerful blue orbs that see into my core, those eyes are the only ones that really know me that hold me. She is my home, my love, my life.
"That was me, Clarke Kom Skaikr, swearing fealty to you, Leksa Kom Trikru."
She pulls me into her kissing me, nibbling on my lower lip and I melt into her. The kiss was passionate but quickly becoming rough and messy as she tightened her hand into my hair her teeth started scraping down my neck, nipping and biting.
Flipping me over she grinds down into me "Oh my God" she says her hands all over me. I want to ask her who is this god? Why does she keep saying his name when we are intimate?
"don't you dare move" She says, her eyes almost an entire shade darker, all I can manage is a nod of my head… she is defiantly the commander in here. "I'm just blowing out the obscene amount of candles in here before we end up setting fire to something".
"Clarke the candles are romantic … perhaps we should give some to Octavia and Raven?" I question as she quickly stops and turns round confused.
"Why would we do that?" She looks at me puzzled.
"Because they too, are soulmates are they not? The way they look at each other is how I look at you, and you to me" I now ask confused.
"Holy shit you're right, I can't believe this… how could they not tell me? I can't believe this Lex" her eyes pour with excitement… not the kind that I want right now.
"Uh Clarke, can we continue to make love now" I plead desperately needing her.
"Who would have thought, the fearsome Heda, referring to sex as making love eh? You're such a romantic babe". She licks a trail down from behind my ear to the end of my neck.
"Clarke, why must you insist on calling me that, I am not a babe and you love me that way" I groan in frustration as she works her way down my body.
"I do love you that way, But Lexa?"
"hmm" I bite my lip as her hands run over me.
"I'm really going to need you to be quiet now, because as your soulmate I'm going to make sure that you experience things that no one else ever will dare to",
As I look up I thank the inventor of this universe.
Thank you for bringing me Clarke kom skaikru.
She is mine,
And I am hers,
Forever to the end of eternity.