Viewpoint: 3rd Person Omniscient

Cast:

LSM Revan
Bastila
HK-47
Carth
Vrook

This is a response to an idea put forth on kotorfanmedia's forums, where the crew of the Ebon Hawk KotOR 1 or 2, seek counseling. This is what I wrote:
Therapist: Now, Revan, let's start with you. What do you wish to resolve here?

Revan: Well, it's just that my wife, Bastila, can never speak to people as equals, she is always condescending

Bastila: I am NOT condescending. You are merely jealous of my Battle Meditation and-

Revan: SEE!

HK-47: Statement: The Master is right, stuck-up meatbag.

Bastila: (Glares at Revan) Why you little-

Carth: He's right Bastila, I mean, one of the first things you said on Taris is how you abilities won battles...

Bastila: And they DID. If it weren't for me-

Carth: If it weren't for you, the Republic would still have half their fleet from the Star Forge

Bastila: (Stands up, raising her hand in a Force summoning gesture) You filthy little WHELP

Revan: Now Bastila, Carth has a valid point...

Bastila: (Turns to Revan) How DARE you side with him (starts to bring Force Lightning to bear on Revan)

HK-47: Threat: Cease your actions, meatbag, or you will find yourself-

Bastila: (Uses Stun Droid, on HK-47, bringing his systems to a halt, yelling) Anyone ELSE want to be a hero?

Vrook: (Walking in with a condescending air, Vrook turns to Bastila saying) Padawan Bastila! Control your emotions, unless you wish to fall again into darkne-

Bastila: (Used Force Push and throws Vrook against the wall, when his head hits against the said wall, he is knocked unconscious)

Revan: Thank the Force!

HK-47: Question: (HK-47 says, recovering from his stun) May I fry him Master?

Revan: No, he'll be needed in the sequel to tick off the exile enough for her to fall to the Dark Side, then kotor III can be interesting.

Therapist: Ahem, anyway, where were we?

Carth: The High and Mighty Jedi and her condescending nature.

Bastila: Why you!

Revan: WAIT Bastila, we'll need him for the sequel; the replacement Admiral is as interesting as Tatooine's Dune Sea.

Bastila: Fine but you owe me for this. (Winking seductively)

HK-47: Exclamation: AHHH! MY PHOTORESCEPTORS! NOOOOOOOO!

Revan: Carth, can you deal with him for me, Bastila and I need to speak about delicate Jedi Business.

Carth: Just because my paranoid demeanor scares off every female who even gave me a second glance doesn't mean I'm THAT thick.

(Revan and Bastila walk out of the room, speaking quietly to each other)

Carth: Revan? Revan! GET BACK HERE AND GET YOUR CRAZY DROID!

(Carth runs out of the room, following the path Revan took.)

Therapist: Well if we're all done here...

HK-47: Statement: It all started when I was a freshly assembled droid. I asked my master: "Master, may I have a new rifle. This one is kind of worn out, and the peons don't fear me as much as they should...

The End?