For Him
rei_ite
Summary: Xander gains a driving force.
I dont own any thing in this fic
*******
Xander curled up in bed and tried to stifle his sobs. Pain lanced all along his sides and up his face, ugly blotchy bruises already forming. He flinched as a glass liqueur bottle shattered against his door. His father screams muffled but oh so audible.
He grabbed a pillow and pulled it over his ears, trying to block out the sounds and winced at the pressure on his face. He felt so helpless, so weak, so insignificant.
Everything his father had said.
"Please....help me" Xander didn't know who he was asking, God maybe, he just asked. For help. For the strength to help himself. For it all to go away.
"Please...." they were just whispers, pleads, but something heard.
It wasn't God.
*******
School the next day
Xander prodded his bruised face with a sick fascination, to feel the pain, a pain that hurts, but not in the same way other pain does. It's kinda like a medal to him, to a child any injury is something to show off, it's like saying "See how much I can take, see how tough I am" and if anyone winces in sympathy, it feels like praise, cause it's only a bruise now, it hurts, but not like other pain does.
Xanders third grade teacher bends down to get a better look as he passes Xanders table, and sucks a hiss in through his teeth as he sees the shiner and surrounding bruising Xander seems so proud of.
"Geez, how'd you manage that one Alex?" the sympathy in his voice was clearly evident. Xander grinned up at him.
"Went to pull a door open when mom, pushed it open. Bang, door knob in the face" He grinned again. The bruised area of his faced went a shade darker as the muscles in his face moved.
"Ooooh, I bet that one hurt. Oh well your tough, you're alright now" The teacher smiled at Xander, seeing the childish pride in the boy swell with his words of praise.
"Yep" answered Xander as the teacher walked on to the next table of kids in his class.
He didn't know why his invisible friend had told him to tell his teacher that, but if he always got words of praise from it, he didn't mind.
His invisible friend seemed all that more real for it to.
******
Three weeks later
Xander bruises are gone, now just slight yellowish discoloration's on his skin. He's playing football at lunch, just a bunch of boys, not even enough for one whole side, but they make do, none the less.
He watches as Jesse is tackled, and he himself is tackled in turn for his loss of concentration. The ground hit's hard, and for a moment he feel his head ring. The kid who tackled him is moving on already as Xander starts to pick himself up. By the time he's up and running, they're already setting up to go again.
The resultant play has Jesse roofing the ball.
"Ohhh man" his sentiments a echoed by all those playing but he can tell that Jesse's sorry about it. Others dont think so.
Jesse receives a few shoves, a couple of batters that he takes without much fuss. It's the fat kid though that starts the trouble. He doesn't know when to stop and continues with the hassling. Pushing, punching, looks like it was his ball. A few of his friends stand back waiting for him to finish and follow.
* Hit him *
Jesse's protesting. The fat kids shove puts Jesse down. Jesse scowls up at him and gives him a boot to the shin. The kid kicks back, hard. Repeatedly.
* Dont let him do that *
Xander didn't know he'd picked up a rock. He knew when he hit the kid though. Just as Jesse started crying.
* There, there, THERE! * Xanders other friend routes him on, as he hits the kid it the chest with the rock.
Arms wrap there way around him, pulling him off the kid, the kid lashes out with a fist, it's hurts, but it doesn't hurt that much.
The arms behind him let go, the person obviously not willing to hold him down to get beaten. The boys grapple at each other, too close to do anything but yank on hair and try to gouge out cheeks with stiff thumbs. The other boys weight starts to tell.
*THERE!!!* His friend is motioning to the rock on the ground. Xander reaches out and grasps the rock, but suffers as his opponent sharp, dirty fingernails dig into his cheek.
The rock knocked two teeth out and the boy stops fighting. Xander backs up and gets to his feet, he can feel blood coming from his nose and cheek. The other boy is on the ground, blood pouring from his mouth, nose and fore head. His hands clutch at his mouth and he lets out a pain stricken screaming wail. Xander turns and looks at Jesse, than back again.
"For Him".
He wasn't talking about Jesse.
******
3 days later. Xanders return from suspension
Large bruises are scattered all over Xanders face are worn like a medal. Most aren't from the fight.
The teacher gives him a questioning look.
"He got a few in, But I got him" That same triumphant grin.
"That you did"
*******
3 years And a rather bad record later.
Xander struts out of the principals office. A grim look on his face. Jesse and Willow take up flanking positions in the hall.
"What did he say?" Willow was a little worried. This last fight could be the straw that broke the camels back.
"I get to stay..." Willow sighed in relief "...but if I get caught fighting in school again... I'm gone, no warnings. Plus I got another three day suspension"
"But what are you going to do about Mats big brother? He'll kill you for beating up Mat" Jesse just stated what everyone in the school was thinking, Mats brother was in year eight, a whole two grades higher than Xander. Xander didn't stand a chance.
"I'll just have to fight him out of school"
*******
9 days later
Xander limped over to the park bench, Jesse and Willow supporting him on either side. He gave a hacking cough than spat out some blood before looking back over his friends shoulders.
"For him" He whispered. His other friend just looked smug.
"Holy shit man! You beat up a high schooler!" The disbelief and wonder in Jesse's voice was evident. Just as evident as the worry and admiration in Willows eyes. All though no one knew, she had a thing for bad boys. She pulled out a small first aid kit as they sat Xander down. She loved playing doctor, and with Xander she got more practice than most.
Xander hissed slightly as she dabbed some disinfectant on his lip. She gave a small laugh. Than continued on his large variety of hurts
"You just got the snot beat out of you and this hurts you?" she asked with a small smile. Jesse just laughed outright at the comment, still not believing Xander had done it.
"Yeah well, you're my only weakness Will. Now come on, one of Mats friends just got on the phone and I dont want to know who he rang"
They helped him limp off. Leaving Mat leaning over his big brother as he tried to wake him up.
******
Xander limped up to his front door, waving goodbye as Willow and Jesse headed home. His father opened the door before he reached it, and supported him, helping him inside to the couch.
"Who was it this time?" his father had changed over the last three years. He had actually become pretty proud of Xander. Having a child that could hold himself in a fight and beat most kids his age into serious injury seemed to make him proud, made him feel like more of a man Xander thought.
Xander only did it because he needed to do it for "Him". He didn't know why. It was just an urge. And he loved the rush. Every fight was exhilarating. He loved it. But that didn't mean he was a bully. He never picked on people weaker than him, never. Once he beat a person, he didn't rub it in, just let them be. They weren't worth it anymore. He always looked for people stronger than him. But he didn't start anything. Probably why he hadn't been kicked out of school yet. He'd just select a person, and just watch them. Sooner or later they'd bully someone, or say something they shouldn't have and he'd be there. With a word that would start them, or a fist to protect a victim.
He'd become a bit of a hero with the geeks, nerds and freaks.
"Mat Cauthons big brother" His father gave him another strange look than grinned like a lunatic.
"Well done boy, dont let anyone push you around"
"Dad it's not like that"
"Sure it isn't, and you tell that to anyone who asks, they started it" he got up and fished around in the ice box before pushing an ice pack onto Xanders forehead.
Xander went to say something, but decided to keep his mouth shut. His relationship with his father was fragile, and even though his dad supported him for the wrong reasons, he loved every second of it. It was a precious thing his dads support, his dads time, his dads love. It saddened him some times.
Xander was brought out of his thought as his dad gave him a tap on the shoulder.
"Hey, I got you something" his smile was a rare thing.
He pulled up Xander from the chair and dragged him into the little used garage. Junk lined the walls, not leaving enough room to get the cars in, but a new red punching bag hung from the ceiling. Xanders eyes lit up. He couldn't think of any other kid at school who had a punching bag. And it wasn't even his birthday, or Christmas.
"Thanks dad!" He beamed the smile only eleven year olds could at him and gave him a hug.
"Thats not all !" From behind his back he pulled a pair of knuckle wraps smiling all the time. Xander gave an excited whoop and his dad showed him how to put them on. On his eleven year old hands they went half way up his fore arms, but he didn't care. He stepped up to the bag and begun to punch it, as if he'd hadn't just returned a fight.
This was the best gift Xander ever received from his father. And the best thing his Father ever could have done for him.
rei_ite
Summary: Xander gains a driving force.
I dont own any thing in this fic
*******
Xander curled up in bed and tried to stifle his sobs. Pain lanced all along his sides and up his face, ugly blotchy bruises already forming. He flinched as a glass liqueur bottle shattered against his door. His father screams muffled but oh so audible.
He grabbed a pillow and pulled it over his ears, trying to block out the sounds and winced at the pressure on his face. He felt so helpless, so weak, so insignificant.
Everything his father had said.
"Please....help me" Xander didn't know who he was asking, God maybe, he just asked. For help. For the strength to help himself. For it all to go away.
"Please...." they were just whispers, pleads, but something heard.
It wasn't God.
*******
School the next day
Xander prodded his bruised face with a sick fascination, to feel the pain, a pain that hurts, but not in the same way other pain does. It's kinda like a medal to him, to a child any injury is something to show off, it's like saying "See how much I can take, see how tough I am" and if anyone winces in sympathy, it feels like praise, cause it's only a bruise now, it hurts, but not like other pain does.
Xanders third grade teacher bends down to get a better look as he passes Xanders table, and sucks a hiss in through his teeth as he sees the shiner and surrounding bruising Xander seems so proud of.
"Geez, how'd you manage that one Alex?" the sympathy in his voice was clearly evident. Xander grinned up at him.
"Went to pull a door open when mom, pushed it open. Bang, door knob in the face" He grinned again. The bruised area of his faced went a shade darker as the muscles in his face moved.
"Ooooh, I bet that one hurt. Oh well your tough, you're alright now" The teacher smiled at Xander, seeing the childish pride in the boy swell with his words of praise.
"Yep" answered Xander as the teacher walked on to the next table of kids in his class.
He didn't know why his invisible friend had told him to tell his teacher that, but if he always got words of praise from it, he didn't mind.
His invisible friend seemed all that more real for it to.
******
Three weeks later
Xander bruises are gone, now just slight yellowish discoloration's on his skin. He's playing football at lunch, just a bunch of boys, not even enough for one whole side, but they make do, none the less.
He watches as Jesse is tackled, and he himself is tackled in turn for his loss of concentration. The ground hit's hard, and for a moment he feel his head ring. The kid who tackled him is moving on already as Xander starts to pick himself up. By the time he's up and running, they're already setting up to go again.
The resultant play has Jesse roofing the ball.
"Ohhh man" his sentiments a echoed by all those playing but he can tell that Jesse's sorry about it. Others dont think so.
Jesse receives a few shoves, a couple of batters that he takes without much fuss. It's the fat kid though that starts the trouble. He doesn't know when to stop and continues with the hassling. Pushing, punching, looks like it was his ball. A few of his friends stand back waiting for him to finish and follow.
* Hit him *
Jesse's protesting. The fat kids shove puts Jesse down. Jesse scowls up at him and gives him a boot to the shin. The kid kicks back, hard. Repeatedly.
* Dont let him do that *
Xander didn't know he'd picked up a rock. He knew when he hit the kid though. Just as Jesse started crying.
* There, there, THERE! * Xanders other friend routes him on, as he hits the kid it the chest with the rock.
Arms wrap there way around him, pulling him off the kid, the kid lashes out with a fist, it's hurts, but it doesn't hurt that much.
The arms behind him let go, the person obviously not willing to hold him down to get beaten. The boys grapple at each other, too close to do anything but yank on hair and try to gouge out cheeks with stiff thumbs. The other boys weight starts to tell.
*THERE!!!* His friend is motioning to the rock on the ground. Xander reaches out and grasps the rock, but suffers as his opponent sharp, dirty fingernails dig into his cheek.
The rock knocked two teeth out and the boy stops fighting. Xander backs up and gets to his feet, he can feel blood coming from his nose and cheek. The other boy is on the ground, blood pouring from his mouth, nose and fore head. His hands clutch at his mouth and he lets out a pain stricken screaming wail. Xander turns and looks at Jesse, than back again.
"For Him".
He wasn't talking about Jesse.
******
3 days later. Xanders return from suspension
Large bruises are scattered all over Xanders face are worn like a medal. Most aren't from the fight.
The teacher gives him a questioning look.
"He got a few in, But I got him" That same triumphant grin.
"That you did"
*******
3 years And a rather bad record later.
Xander struts out of the principals office. A grim look on his face. Jesse and Willow take up flanking positions in the hall.
"What did he say?" Willow was a little worried. This last fight could be the straw that broke the camels back.
"I get to stay..." Willow sighed in relief "...but if I get caught fighting in school again... I'm gone, no warnings. Plus I got another three day suspension"
"But what are you going to do about Mats big brother? He'll kill you for beating up Mat" Jesse just stated what everyone in the school was thinking, Mats brother was in year eight, a whole two grades higher than Xander. Xander didn't stand a chance.
"I'll just have to fight him out of school"
*******
9 days later
Xander limped over to the park bench, Jesse and Willow supporting him on either side. He gave a hacking cough than spat out some blood before looking back over his friends shoulders.
"For him" He whispered. His other friend just looked smug.
"Holy shit man! You beat up a high schooler!" The disbelief and wonder in Jesse's voice was evident. Just as evident as the worry and admiration in Willows eyes. All though no one knew, she had a thing for bad boys. She pulled out a small first aid kit as they sat Xander down. She loved playing doctor, and with Xander she got more practice than most.
Xander hissed slightly as she dabbed some disinfectant on his lip. She gave a small laugh. Than continued on his large variety of hurts
"You just got the snot beat out of you and this hurts you?" she asked with a small smile. Jesse just laughed outright at the comment, still not believing Xander had done it.
"Yeah well, you're my only weakness Will. Now come on, one of Mats friends just got on the phone and I dont want to know who he rang"
They helped him limp off. Leaving Mat leaning over his big brother as he tried to wake him up.
******
Xander limped up to his front door, waving goodbye as Willow and Jesse headed home. His father opened the door before he reached it, and supported him, helping him inside to the couch.
"Who was it this time?" his father had changed over the last three years. He had actually become pretty proud of Xander. Having a child that could hold himself in a fight and beat most kids his age into serious injury seemed to make him proud, made him feel like more of a man Xander thought.
Xander only did it because he needed to do it for "Him". He didn't know why. It was just an urge. And he loved the rush. Every fight was exhilarating. He loved it. But that didn't mean he was a bully. He never picked on people weaker than him, never. Once he beat a person, he didn't rub it in, just let them be. They weren't worth it anymore. He always looked for people stronger than him. But he didn't start anything. Probably why he hadn't been kicked out of school yet. He'd just select a person, and just watch them. Sooner or later they'd bully someone, or say something they shouldn't have and he'd be there. With a word that would start them, or a fist to protect a victim.
He'd become a bit of a hero with the geeks, nerds and freaks.
"Mat Cauthons big brother" His father gave him another strange look than grinned like a lunatic.
"Well done boy, dont let anyone push you around"
"Dad it's not like that"
"Sure it isn't, and you tell that to anyone who asks, they started it" he got up and fished around in the ice box before pushing an ice pack onto Xanders forehead.
Xander went to say something, but decided to keep his mouth shut. His relationship with his father was fragile, and even though his dad supported him for the wrong reasons, he loved every second of it. It was a precious thing his dads support, his dads time, his dads love. It saddened him some times.
Xander was brought out of his thought as his dad gave him a tap on the shoulder.
"Hey, I got you something" his smile was a rare thing.
He pulled up Xander from the chair and dragged him into the little used garage. Junk lined the walls, not leaving enough room to get the cars in, but a new red punching bag hung from the ceiling. Xanders eyes lit up. He couldn't think of any other kid at school who had a punching bag. And it wasn't even his birthday, or Christmas.
"Thanks dad!" He beamed the smile only eleven year olds could at him and gave him a hug.
"Thats not all !" From behind his back he pulled a pair of knuckle wraps smiling all the time. Xander gave an excited whoop and his dad showed him how to put them on. On his eleven year old hands they went half way up his fore arms, but he didn't care. He stepped up to the bag and begun to punch it, as if he'd hadn't just returned a fight.
This was the best gift Xander ever received from his father. And the best thing his Father ever could have done for him.