Title: Somebody Snitched on Me
Summary: "I might have knotted Susie's hair, tore my pants, and filled the sugar jar with ants, but I didn't spike the eggnog." It's never too early for a holiday fic. One-Shot.
Explanation: I haven't posted a Fic in months. It was about time for a random story, yeah? It took me fifteen minutes to write this, I timed myself. xD Just something fun, not meant to be some amazing novella.
Disclaimer: I do not own Justice League Unlimited, nor do I own the rights to Nuttin' For Christmas. If I did, I would be a generally happier person.
Song: The song is Nuttin' For Christmas, by S. Tepper and R. Bennett. Found it by luck while cruisin' the internet for lyrics. Thought it fit Wally, and this fic was born.
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"I broke my bat on Johnny's head. Somebody snitched on me.
I hid a frog in sister's bed. Somebody snitched on me."
The song echoed though the Watch Tower hall. It was empty, holidays had a way of doing that. Super heroes are people too; they have lives back on Terra Firma… Many remained in the Tower, of course, but the rest went to live normal lives beneath the Christmas lights, at least for a day.
"I spilled some ink on Mommy's rug. Somebody snitched on me."
The song continued, its sound bouncing off the walls and absorbing into the carpet, only to be replaced with the next round of the chorus. The Fastest Man Alive was strolling awfully slowly down the hallway, singing merrily to himself.
"I made Tommy eat a bug. Bought some gum with a penny slug. Somebody snitched on me."
That damn song was tradition. He'd had it sung to him every Christmas morning. His parents always used to say it fit him. Their son, the prankster, little Wallace. Those were the good days; the days before junior high. That was when all the shit hit the fan. But who wanted to think of that? It was Christmas.
"Oh, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas. Mommy and Daddy are mad. I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas, 'cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad. "
His thoughts went to the gift he'd bought Bruce. Did it matter what he'd gotten the old man? No, not really. But he'd be strictly ordered to buy no gifts for the stick in the mud. Which, of course, meant he had to. He recalled the card he'd picked up on Earth during his last mission. One with a little sound chip, that would play the 'Batman Smells' song whenever it was opened…
Jingle bells, Batman smells. Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile lost a wheel, and the Joker ran away.
You know the one. Wally was damn sure Bats knew it too. But, teasing him never got old. Along with the hand-written note scrawled on the bottom, which kindly asked Batman to, "Please remove the stick from your bum for Christmas."
He couldn't wait to leave it in Bruce's room tomorrow; Christmas morning.
"I put a tack on teacher's chair. Somebody snitched on me. I tied a knot in Susie's hair. Somebody snitched on me. I did a dance on Mommy's plants, climbed a tree and tore my pants. Filled the sugar bowl with ants. Somebody snitched on me!"
"And you deserved it."
Wally snapped his eyes open, which had somehow closed during his serenade. Before him stood a figure in gold and blue, cocking his head only so with a curious expression. Damnit. Had he forgotten that, though few, there were still heroes walking about?
"Booster," he greeted him awkwardly.
"Flash," he replied, grinning.
"Skeetz!" a mechanical, but amazingly joyful, voice rang out. Flash glanced up; a small robotic devise was floating over Booster's shoulder, its scanner, looking very much like an eye, starting back at Wally.
"You bring that thing everywhere, don't you, Michael?" the speed-demon teased, raising a finger to point at the robot.
"Pretty much," he shrugged, "he's learned not to follow me into the bathroom."
"Sir, that was not originally included in my programming. How was I to know-"
"You're suppose to have common sense, I figured-" Booster coughed loudly as he realized he'd begun to argue with the robot, in public no less.
Flash giggled girlishly at the images now running through his mind. He'd never known a robot to be so argumentative.
"Lantern is drunk in the mess hall," Michael said suddenly, redeeming himself from the embarrassment.
Wally's ears perked at this. Had he just said- Was John really- Why was he standing in the hallway, when he could be watching that! "You're joking," he gasped.
"Nope, just came from there. Seems like somebody spiked the eggnog so it'd be a bit more potent than usual," he murmured, squinting his eyes suggestively as he looked to Wally.
"Whoa!" he stopped him. "It wasn't me. Even though that would have been funny, it wasn't me." He stepped forward, linking arms with Booster, chuckling, and dragging him towards the dining hall. "I might have knotted Susie's hair, tore my pants, and filled the sugar jar with ants, but I didn't spike the eggnog."
Soon they found themselves experiencing the company of a drunken Green Lantern. Shortly there after, they were experiencing the company of a drunken Flash, Booster Gold, and Green Lantern. Swigging eggnog, singing carols, and generally amusing the congregation that had arrived to view such a spectacle.
"So, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas. Mommy and Daddy are mad. I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas, 'cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad," they sang.
"I won't be seeing Santa Claus. Somebody snitched on me. He won't come visit me, because somebody snitched on me. Next year I'll be going straight. Next year I'll be good, just wait. I'd start now, but it's too late. Somebody snitched on me." It was amazing Flash could even recall the lyrics, but, as his eggnog sloshed from over the rim of his plastic cup, he sang merrily.
"So you better be good, whatever you do. 'Cause if you're bad, I'm warning you, you'll get nuttin' for Christmas."