Disclaimer: I don't own Newsies or any of the characters or anything... unfortunately... blahhh. Teachers are mine. Except for Mr. Denton, who I just had to use. He's not mine.

Author's Note: I mean no offense by the title of this chapter. I mean it literally.

Chapter One—And There Is Much Gay

English Notes

Jack

Mush

Blink

Sarah

David

Mush, you got plans after school?

Uh, yeah, sell the evening edition, stupid.

Wanna blow it off tonight?

Watcha got?

New kind of lube and some X

Hmmmm... beer?

Natchurally.

I'm in.

Boys, tut, tut. And Blink, it's spelled N-A-T-U-R-A-L-L-Y.

Oh, like you're one to talk, Cowboy. You're probably the ONLY person in the class who turned in a paper with Mr. Denton's NAME spelled wrong!

Hey! Bill's a hard name to spell!

Riiiight. Now quit reading my personal, private notes to Mush.

As you wish, Blinky Boy.

So... tonight right after school?

Yeah. The neighbors are going out, so you can scream! 3

Haha... I better destroy the evidence now...

oOo

Sarah! Look at your bro and Denton! It's grotesque! (Like that word? Nice and long!)

I don't want to think about David and Denton right now, hun.

Me neither. Listen, I got some stuff to do tonight, so don't come over, okay?

Will you make it up to me?

Yeah—the weekend's all yours.

oOo

Hey, Teacher's Boy, tear your eyes away from Mr. Denton long enough to answer my question, will ya?

What question?

Is that a pencil in your pocket or do you really enjoy Denton's lectures?

...WHAT?!?!

Just kidding. Geez, so uptight! But if you're not careful, your mind will stray. And it WILL happen.

Jack, get to the point.

What? Don't want me around?

Ugh. I didn't say that. Now PLEASE get to the point.

Who says I didn't already?

Well then why are you still passing me this note? I'll get in trouble if Bi—DENTON sees me passing notes!

Oh, puh-lease. Like HE'D get YOU in trouble. Even if he did, you could get out of it. He's pretty uptight like you, so just a kiss oughta do it.

JACK!

Yes, Davey? -innocent grin-

Well, if you have nothing to say, I'm no longer talking to you, you pervert.

You like it.

NOT TALKING TO YOU.

Then why'd you bother to pass it back?

Good point.

A-ha! So... you got plans for tonight?

Huh? Thought you had plans with Sarah?

I never said I was asking you to do something with me.

Right...

Well, I never said I wasn't, either.

Well, I'm not selling tonight, so... no.

Me neither. Come over?

What about my sister?

Oh, it's okay. We don't have plans for tonight.

Uh... okay. I'll be over around 4:30. Ok?

Yeah. That's cool. I gotta do the english paper that was due today. You can help me.

You don't need help with that! It's EASY!

Hey, Mr. Perfect, I don't even know what it's ABOUT!

You have to describe someone you know in 1,000 words or more using as much detail and description and creativity as you can. God, mine was FULL of metaphors.

Who'd you do?

Les.

Well, I'll do you.

Doesn't that seem like cheating to you? I mean, writing about me and having me help?

So?

-sigh- Hey, class is almost over. I gotta pay attention now.

oOo

Sarah, can I ask you a question?

Yeah, Mush?

Doesn't it seem like Jack's been acting funny?

Yeah. You noticed too?

Mhm. Like he's cooling off towards you or something.

Ugh, I know! I don't know WHAT'S gotten into him! I mean, we haven't even had sex in—uh... could you pretend I never wrote that, please?

You got it. So, you and Cowboy been doing it, eh?

Didn't I tell you to pretend I never wrote that?

oOo

History Notes

Racetrack

Spot

Skittery

Hey, Race... got food?

Not for you, buster. Get your own box.

Cheez-Its? PLEASE?

NO.

But I'm real hungry... just ONE?

Don't beg, Conlon. It's unbecoming to a lady of your station.

OOOOOH, YOU'RE GONNA GET IT NOW, HIGGINS!

Right, Spot. What're you gonna do, wave your lace fan at me? Now go get your own, you always bring a big enough lunch!

Aw, quit being so selfish! Besides, what am I supposed to do, say "Hey, Mr. Parker, can I go get some food? Because Racetrack here won't share his."

No, just go and come back with it. I'll distract him.

How?

I dunno, roll him for the homework or something when I see you come back—double or nothing.

He doesn't gamble.

Exactly. It'll be an experience.

Race... SHARE!

NO!

Not talking to you!

Fine.

Fine.

Fine.

Fine!

FINE!

Guys... you know when class ends?

I dunno. D'you, Race?

Thought you weren't talking to me, O Spotty One!

I'm not. When does class end? For Skitts's sake. And hand over the goods!

Whoa... Race has FOOD?

Yeah. And he won't share.

You been holding out on me, asshole! Fork it over!

-rolls eyes- FINE.

Thanks, man.

RACETRACK!

Yes, O Spotty One?

Shut up.

Yes, O Spotty One.

Anyway, ANTHONY HIGGINS, YOU DOUBLE-CROSSING SCABBER!

...there's no strike on...

I DON'T CARE. GIVE ME FOOD!

Get your—OW! WHAT'RE YOU HITTING ME FOR?

Whaddya THINK he's hitting you for?

OWWWW!

Hey, guys... look what I found in my desk:

oOo

Dear Racetrack Higgins,

I enjoyed last night. You were very good, for a virgin. Only thing is, I... well, we didn't exactly use protection, did we... So I'm...

Well, you know what I'm getting at.

Love,

The New Girl

oOo

Race! You been gettin' some!

From a GIRL!

...Uh... I plead the fifth...