CHAPTER 1

Monica awoke with a nasty start and frantically took in her surroundings, sweating profusely. She felt ill in an unpleasant way that she hadn't experienced in several months. A fearful realization seized her and she began hyperventilating. Chandler was sound asleep next to her and he looked so peaceful for once that Monica didn't have the heart to wake him.

Monica sat up in bed and closed her eyes, trying to take steady cleansing breaths. Still the pain would not alleviate. She reached over and grabbed two capsules that her doctor had given her for pain and swallowed them whole without any water. She figured that this was a momentary fluke that would recede in the morning. Actually, she more so hoped.

Monica wrapped her thick robe around her trembling shoulders and pulled all of the covers up over her. The pills immediately sedated her, and she drifted off.

Chandler woke the next morning to find the other side of his bed empty. He could hear sounds coming from the bathroom, and became worried. These days, his wife slept in long after he got up.

Chandler forced himself out of bed and across the apartment. He cautiously rapped on the bathroom door.

"Mon?" He called. "You all right in there?" His response was a low, painful moan. The door swung opened to reveal a shivering, stark pale Monica. She held onto the sides of the doorframe for support.

"Honey?" Chandler asked, now very concerned.

Monica was about to say something, but instead her eyes rolled into her head and she collapsed into Chandler's arms.

Joey was eating his breakfast and was only half-awake as usual when the door burst open. This revived him enough. Standing in the doorway was Chandler, panting heavily and white as a sheet.

"Chandler?" he gasped and went to his best friend. "What happened, man?"

"Mon...i...ca..." he managed. "She passed out. I called 911. Will you call the others?"

"Oh God, yea, sure man, I'll do that. Do you want some water?"

"No, I don't think I can keep anything down right now. Just do that for me, man."

"Yea. Of course. We'll all come as soon as we can." Chandler nodded his gratitude and left.

Joey immediately picked up the phone, his nerveless fingers dialing.

"You can't be serious!" Chandler yelled at Dr. Rosenberg, Monica's neurosurgeon. He shook his head continuously, refusing to believe what he had just heard.

"I would never lie to you, Chandler, or your friends. You know that by now," the doctor said firmly, but there was a hint of sadness.

"So-so there's nothing you can do to remove it?" Phoebe asked shakily, gripping Chandler's arm and holding Rachel's hand with her other.

"No, Phoebe. As I said, Monica's tumor is lethally inoperable. The growth is located so deep within her brain, that by performing that gamma knife surgery we talked about, we could risk destroying her brain stem. By continuing with the radiation, we can possibly retard the tumor's development, but that's it."

Rachel could feel tears welling up in her eyes. "How long would she have?"

"A month. Maybe two." The fact hit them all like cold water. Their friend would be dead before summer began.

"Can we see her?" Joey managed hoarsely.

"In about fifteen minutes. She's receiving a round of radiation now. I'm very sorry, Chandler. This is a doctor's worst nightmare. Looking at a patient's loved ones and telling them that nothing can be done." Dr. Rosenberg turned on his heel and left the shocked, grieving gang.

"Who's going to tell Ross?" Joey asked after several moments of silence.

Rachel sighed. "I know I said I would call him at work. But I don't think I can do this over the phone. He's going to be pissed enough at me for not telling him to come in the first place, without hearing the news."