A/N: Merry Christmas, my dear readers! Or, indeed, any other holiday you might celebrate about now. Up here in the north we still call the holiday it by the old pagan name and celebrate on the 24th, so we're not that picky. Regardless of tradition, here's my gift to all of you, for putting up with all the angst and sorrow of my other stories: some proper holiday fluff.
Pairing: Arthur/Merlin.
Warnings: Slash! Fluff! And possibly even cheesiness, though I hope not too much of that. Rated T only because the guidelines are ridiculously vague and I don't want complaints. In my eyes, this is K, but I'm Scandinavian, so ...
Spoilers: Nearly none, just a couple of names of other royalties in Albion mentioned in the show.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: Five years after Sir Lancelot left Camelot with Queen Guinevere, the first negotiations about uniting Albion have taken place. They are followed by a celebration of the winter solstice. Little do the guests know, their idle conversation will change the relationship between Arthur and Merlin for good. Established relationship. One-shot.
oO0Oo
"In the bleak midwinter, frosty wind made moan
Earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone
Snow had fallen, snow on snow, snow on snow,
In the bleak midwinter, long ago"
oO0Oo
The Winter Solstice
Royals from all the five kingdoms had been invited, and the negotiations had proven surprisingly smooth. That wasn't to say they hadn't involved an awful lot of shouting and very few real decisions. At times, Merlin had had the urge to vanish both one and two of the participants. Everyone had agreed that there were benefits to be had from working together; but of course, the question of who the highest authority would be in a united Albion had been the crux. It was no secret that Camelot was the most powerful of the kingdoms, and its king the most respected. None of the other nobles were all that eager to increase Arthur's power further – and neither was Arthur, particularly, and Merlin had been forced to remind him over and over that that wasn't why they were doing this – and yet, it stood to reason that no one else could take the place without seeming like a puppet next to King Arthur Pendragon. So the negotiations had ended on an agreement that a union of the kingdoms should take place, but that further negotiations were needed on how to do it. Papers had been signed, hands had been shaken, and now it was finally time for the celebrations.
Merlin was pleased to have finally been allowed to leave the crowded council chambers for the festively decorated great hall. As much as he had been pushing for the negotiations to take place, he was still not a politician. He understood politics, very well even, if he might say so himself, but he didn't have the patience for it. The lengthy talks with uncooperative nobles and short-sighted royals, the cautious diplomatic strategies – that was Arthur's part.
The usual gloom of the great hall had been transformed into a sparkling wonder, wrapped in holly and ivy. Arthur looked his best, standing in the middle of all that splendour. His hair shone like gold, his skin was like ivory and his laughter rang like bells through the buzz of the crowd. It was on nights like this one that Merlin asked himself how he could ever have felt anything else for Arthur than what he felt now, than this warmth that was filling his heart and this fire that was rushing through his veins, than this way his heart skipped a beat when Arthur turned and looked at him, only him, with those bright blue eyes and Merlin knew that he was the only thing in the room that Arthur was aware of for that brief moment. Merlin hadn't been walking on clouds for the last six years, far from it, but every now and then there were nights like this one, when Arthur's mere presence was intoxicating. And of course, it had to go and be the longest night of the year. The sun had just set, and according to tradition the feast would go on until it rose again. In some villages they lit bonfires this night, and a fire was indeed kept burning on the courtyard all night as a symbol of that tradition. It was a magical night, in its most literal sense – Merlin could feel magic swimming through the air and hear the whispers of the spirit world just out of reach. But for once, none of it seemed to be a threat, and Merlin could stop fighting to keep everyone else safe for one night and enjoy the celebration instead.
oO0Oo
"Your highness? Arthur?"
Arthur startled when Elena addressed him. When he turned to face her she was smiling. He wondered if she had seen who he had been looking at.
"I was saying what a wonderful job your court has done in arranging this celebration," Elena said. "I can't think of anything that's missing."
"Thank you. I'll pass on the compliments to where they're due."
She smiled at him. Arthur still liked Elena: of all the royals and highest nobles that had been at the negotiations, they had gotten along the best, defending each other's positions at times, and at other times just secretly smiling at each other when one of the old men went off on a rant.
"Please do," she replied.
Beside her, Vivian leaned on the arm of her husband. Olaf had died a year ago, and they were now King and Queen of his realm. From what Arthur had heard, they were doing rather well.
"But there is one thing missing from all this splendour," Vivian said with a smile.
"And what would that be?" Arthur asked.
"A hostess. How long has it been since Lady Guinevere left? Four years? Five? You're still young and handsome, Arthur. You should get remarried!"
It was strange how Arthur's heart still clenched at the mention of her name.
"I don't think so."
"Why not?" Vivien asked. "Love is the only cure for a broken heart you know."
Yes, Arthur knew. He had to resist searching for Merlin in the crowd.
"Then I would have to wait for love, and not run towards marriage," he answered.
Vivian was just about to say something else, when it was announced that the banquet would be served and they all went to their seats.
oO0Oo
A couple of hours went by when he managed to avoid Vivian, but eventually she – and the discussion she had started – caught up with him. To his great embarrassment, this time Merlin was standing right beside him.
In fairness, though, it wasn't Vivian who brought it up this time, but her husband Adric.
"I admit that I believe any man deserves a wife whom he loves and who loves him back," he said, "but I wonder, what will happen if you do not marry? All this work you've put down to bring the kingdoms together, we all know it will end with you becoming king of Albion or nothing at all. If you have no heir, then when you die, all that work might have been for nothing."
Arthur took a swig of the traditional mead. He didn't know quite how to reply, especially without looking at Merlin to gauge his reaction.
"I will find a way to secure the future of Albion. As your wife said, I'm not old and decrepit quite yet."
Their company laughed politely.
"You haven't given up hope about that one right woman then?" Adric asked, glancing down at a smiling Vivian.
Arthur could feel that Merlin was looking at him. He smiled at the others.
"No, I can't say I have, since I never hoped for it in the first place. I do not intend to marry again."
Elena smiled, and once again Arthur wondered if she knew somehow.
"But surely it must get lonely," Vivian said, "ruling all of Camelot on your own, carrying the burden without any one to support you, to turn to – to do all the hard work?"
This time everyone laughed in earnest. Next to Arthur, Merlin chimed in:
"Don't be silly, that's what he has me for."
Arthur didn't need to turn around; he could hear the smile in Merlin's voice. The laughter grew even louder, and both Arthur and Merlin joined it.
"Merlin," Elena interrupted, "a little bird whispered in my ear that you might show us a few tricks before sunrise?"
As much as Arthur knew Merlin detested it when people referred to his magic as "tricks" he was happy for the change of subject, and Merlin didn't seem overly insulted. As the sorcerer went on about the plans for the rest of the evening, Arthur looked at Elena and noticed her winking at him.
Yes, he thought. She definitely knows.
He found he didn't mind as much as would have thought.
oO0Oo
Later there was dancing, and Merlin looked on as Arthur whirled across the floor with one high-born lady after another. He had noticed a few women looking at him as well, but he had only danced with the three women who had been brave enough to disregard the protocol and actually asked him. Unlike the case was with Arthur, it wouldn't affect the negotiations if Merlin refused to dance, and he wasn't in the mood for it. He might not have let anyone see it, but Adric's comments had struck a nerve. The line of succession was something he and Arthur had pointedly avoided talking about for years. At the very beginning of this, whatever they were to each other now, Merlin had been painfully aware that Arthur would have to get married sooner or later. But then time had passed, Arthur had never even mentioned marriage, after a while his advisors had gotten the drift and stopped mentioning it as well, and Merlin had locked the thought away in the back of his mind. Now, six years later, it was back with a vengeance. Not only was there still need for a marriage, it had gotten six years more urgent as well. And it wasn't going to get any easier.
Arthur danced in the middle of the hall, with Elena in his arms. Merlin remembered when the two of them had stood in this same hall, seconds away from becoming husband and wife. He imagined it happening again, with a different outcome this time. It was a painful thought, painful enough to nearly bring tears to his eyes, but one he had to force himself to get used to – and force Arthur to get used to as well, if the king couldn't see the bleak truth of it himself.
oO0Oo
Arthur danced across the hall with Elena in his arms. He had considered using the moment to find out what she knew, and more importantly how she knew, but didn't really know where to start. Luckily for him, Elena brought it up for him.
"So I gather you have regained your resistance towards marriage?" she asked.
Arthur thought a second about the answer.
"Merlin once told me that people should marry for love," he said, and now they were dancing with their words as well as with their feet.
"Quite right! I couldn't agree more. I suppose that was when you were about to marry me?"
"It was."
"And from what happened later, I suppose the reason you didn't marry me was not only what you said that day, but also that you were already in love ... with a servant."
"With Guinevere," Arthur said, and Elena smiled.
"But it's not about Guinevere anymore, is it?"
"No," he admitted.
They danced in silence for a while, until Arthur couldn't keep quiet anymore.
"Do you think it's inappropriate?"
Elena seemed to consider it for a moment.
"I think it certainly could have been, if you hadn't handled it right," she said. "I think you're doing the right thing, being discreet about it."
"Yet you had us figured out in a heartbeat."
"Yes, but that someone notices the way you look at each other is far from being the same thing as flaunting it. I don't think things like this are as much about not letting anyone know, as they are about showing people that you care about their opinion. A king – or a queen – who completely disregards the values and traditions of their people is not fit to reign. Neither is one who follows it blindly even though he disagrees with it."
Arthur had to smile.
"That was very diplomatic answer, Princess Elena. I think perhaps I should let you lead these negotiations."
Elena laughed.
"Aren't you going to ask if I think you should marry?" she said a while later, laughter still in her voice.
"No," Arthur quickly replied.
"Why not?"
"Well, as I said: Merlin told me to marry for love. And I've found that my life is a lot easier when I follow Merlin's advice."
Their eyes met, and they began to laugh at the exact same moment.
oO0Oo
When they stumbled into Arthur's chambers after sunrise, Arthur was still smiling and Merlin was still captivated by the sight. They both laughed about something one of the kings had said just as they left, and Arthur went over to the window and drew the curtains.
"And poor Vivian who didn't have a clue what she was talking about! I almost felt sorry for her," Arthur said.
Merlin froze and felt his smile fade away. He hadn't wanted to have this conversation so soon, but he was afraid that if he put it up he might never get the courage to bring it up again.
"They're right, you know," he said. "You should get remarried."
Arthur turned around and looked at him as if he had grown an extra head.
"Pardon?"
"Well it's alright now, but sooner or later, the fact that you don't have an heir is going to cause problems. It makes Camelot vulnerable. It makes Albion vulnerable."
Arthur frowned.
"Are you saying this to mock me about the way Vivian kept on? Because if you are, I have to say, you're not being very funny."
What did Arthur look so upset about? Did he think it was easy for Merlin to say this?
"I'm serious!"
Arthur gave him that look that said "honestly Merlin, I don't know how your head works sometimes" and which never failed to bring Merlin back to the first years they'd know each other.
"You're serious?" Arthur repeated.
"Yes!"
"I should marry some unfortunate woman, and sleep with her to ... produce an heir, and condemn us all to misery, for political reasons? Merlin, you must have had more wine today than I thought you had, because that goes against everything you've ever said! I just told Elena how you were the one who said I should marry out of love."
"And you did, and it didn't turn out very well!"
It was a punch beneath the belt, Merlin knew it, and Arthur turned away from him as he continued: "Maybe a political marriage wouldn't be that bad."
Arthur spun back around. His eyes had grown dark. He crossed his arms.
"And pray tell, Merlin," he said in his most scornful voice, "if I were to marry, where would you sleep?"
Merlin squirmed.
"I have a room of my own," he replied.
"And a fine room it is too. It's in splendid condition – in fact, it's barely been used!"
Merlin felt a blush threatening to creep up on his cheeks. This was not a turn he had expected the conversation to take. Arthur took a step closer.
"So you wouldn't get married yourself, then?" he asked.
Merlin's jaw dropped.
"Of course not!"
"Why not?" Arthur said and looked him up and down with cold eyes. "You're a young handsome man with a good position, it's a shame you should go alone. I'm sure there are plenty of women who would marry you. Actually I know the names of a few. I could introduce you if you like! It's not as if I'd care. What does it matter to me if I have to share you with someone else?"
Merlin just gaped. The lump in his throat was making it hard for him to breathe.
"I ... wha ... how can you say that? I have you, I don't want anyone else!"
Arthur picked up a pillow and threw it at him. It hit Merlin in the face before he could grab it.
"I'm not saying it," Arthur yelled, and suddenly his face was red and his eyes wet with anger, "it's what you're saying, you clodpoll!"
Oh. Oh.
"No, I ... I didn't mean it like that!"
"I hope not!"
Merlin could have kicked himself.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"Well, you should be!" Arthur replied. "Because if you went off and got married it'd break my heart, and these last few years I had gotten the impression that you felt the same way!"
It took a lot of Merlin's strength to not run up to Arthur and kiss him, hide his face by Arthur's neck and never, ever, bring this up again.
"I do! I just don't want our relationship to become a problem for you or for Camelot. And you know one day it will be a problem."
Arthur stared at him.
"It doesn't have to be. An heir doesn't necessarily have to be of my blood. I thought, in a few years or more, we'll find someone suitable, a young knight probably; I'll take him under my wing, teach him, train him, and then announce him as my heir when he's gained the respect of the people. We'll work it out, you and I, like we have everything else."
For the first time in years, Merlin felt like an idiot.
"You've thought about it," he whispered.
"Yes, Merlin, I have thought about the future of Camelot. But thank you, your faith in my governing skills is touching."
"Sorry."
Merlin fidgeted with the pillow that was still in his hands, looking down at the trimmings.
"You already said that," Arthur said.
"I know."
Merlin looked up and noticed that Arthur was actually smiling at him, a small, tentative smile, and the lump in his throat vanished. Arthur studied him carefully.
"Merlin ..." he began, but stopped himself.
Arthur looked down on the floor, then up again, then opened his mouth to say something, but still couldn't. Merlin could tell he was trying to make up his mind about something, and for some reason he didn't dare interrupt. Arthur turned around and opened a cupboard. He rummaged around for a while before he pulled out one of Merlin's old neckerchiefs.
"I thought I'd lost that!" Merlin said.
Arthur smiled. He looked at the neckerchief, then up at Merlin, then back down again, looking uncharacteristically nervous.
"You did. I found it."
He walked back up to Merlin, turning the neckerchief in his hands until it became a rope of cloth.
"Merlin ... would you give me your hand?"
Merlin reached out his right hand without thinking. Arthur took it, gently, and wrapped one end of the neckerchief around it. Merlin's heart began to race, but his thoughts came crashing to a halt.
"What are you doing?" he whispered. His voice sounded breathless.
Arthur wrapped the other end of the neckerchief around his own right hand, put his free hand on top of their joined ones, and looked straight into Merlin's eyes. Merlin felt a shiver run down his spine.
"Merlin," Arthur said, "my heart ... my heart is yours. My soul, and my body, are yours. And until the day I die, they will never belong to anyone else. Not in reality, and not in name, either. There will never be anyone but you, and I don't want there to be. I, Arthur Pendragon, swear that to you."
Merlin felt as if the world had slowed down and stopped. Arthur looked so honest, and so frightened – more so than Merlin had ever seen him.
"I ... I don't know what to say," he began.
Arthur paled.
"Except, I guess, 'yes'," Merlin hurried to add, the words tripping over themselves as they left his lips. "And 'I'm yours', and, 'I'll be by your side until the day I die.'"
The way Arthur's face lit up made Merlin feel as if he was sitting down in front of a fire on a cold winter's day, warmth and light washing over him.
"Then I am married," Arthur said.
Merlin's heart skipped a beat.
"I'm not sure that was entirely legal," he joked, his voice still shaking.
Arthur began to unwind their hands.
"I'm the king, I make the law. Shut up and kiss me."
Merlin obliged. Arthur's arms wrapped around him. One warm hand pressed between his shoulder blades as Arthur's mouth opened under his. The other slipped down to his hip. Merlin slid his fingers through Arthur's hair, pulling him as close as he could, and the rest of the world went away.
"So ..." Merlin said as they stopped for air, "... is this our wedding night, then?"
Arthur looked at him like a man who's been lost in the desert looks at a well of water.
"In a manner of speaking," he replied.
Merlin kissed him again, "Because ...," and again, "... I think I heard you ...," and again, "... saying that your body belongs to me," and again.
It was becoming increasingly difficult to understand how they had kept their hands off of each other all evening. The warmth from Arthur's body was making Merlin's blood boil. He moved on from Arthur's lips to his neck. Arthur's breath hitched.
"I ... ah ... might have said something like that."
Arthur began to tug at Merlin's tunic. Merlin raised his arms to let it slip off, at the same time pushing as much as Arthur pulled towards the bed.
"Care to demonstrate what that entails?"
oO0Oo
THE END
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!