Missing you
Author: Crys_Trin
Category: maybe PG
Spoilers: for the first move and Revolutions.
Summary: Neo has to go on without Trinity. But how does he feel about this?
A/N: Don't read if you haven't seen Rev!!!
~You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me~
=Celine Dion- Because you loved me=
*
Trin, I miss you.
I can't bear this feeling. Knowing that you are dead, you won't come back anymore. That you are captured in the cold, icy prison of death, where you don't belong at all. That's not the right place for you. You should shine in life. It shouldn't have been you to get there. You should be here with me. Because I need you. Can you hear me? I NEED YOU! I can't go on alone. I've lost my strength. It died with you along. Though I try to hold on, try to get up and face this cruel reality.
Darkness surrounds me more than ever. I stand here alone, feel the cool air on my face, staring only inside myself, into the emptiness, the dark hollow of my heart. My blind eyes are crying for the past, present and future. Heavy, hot teardrops roll down on my dirty, blooded face, it aches like hell, burns like fire. I swallow my tears desperately and clench my fists.
I can't take this life without you. You, my guiding angel, my light, my support, my all...The Oracle knew it. She has known since the beginning that I don't have much faith in myself. That's why you were led into my life. It was meant to be. Trin, you were the stronger one from both of us all along. You never let your faith weaken. You believed in things. You believed in me. That's why I'm still here. Because you believed in me. Because you loved me.
I hate this war, this world and the machines for taking you from me. I'm fed up with fight and death. I'm tired. I don't have anything to lose anymore. The only treasure was ripped out of my trembling hands. There's nothing they could take from me yet. Nothing...
Oh, Trin, forgive me, please. Forgive me if you can. I wasn't able to save you. Though I am the One, I couldn't save the only thing that mattered to me in life. You asked me to tell you that we were going to make that. You asked me to ensure you. I did and where are we now? I lied to you, though I didn't want that. I'm sucked.
This desperate sobbing overwhelms me again. I feel the salty taste of my tears.
Should the One be like this?? I don't think so. But honestly, I don't care. I've never asked for being the One. I've never wanted this responsibility. And I don't want it now more than ever. I've burnt out, my body and mind are tired of this constant fight and suffer. I've lost my faith.
Trin, I've never cried for anyone. But I can't help doing it now. I know you want me to be strong, but... I can't hide my pain. It's too much... I feel so much alone. I wish this whole nightmare were end and I'd wake up beside you.
You were so strong even in your last minutes. You weren't afraid. You even told me you were glad. Now I understand what you meant by that. There are so many things I wanted you to know. But you won't ever hear them. My shaking, fearful voice telling you that I didn't want to let you go, I couldn't accept you walking out of my life. My whisper that I loved you so much. And I will forever and for always.
This fucking blindness! I couldn't even see you for the last time... This damn war deprived me even of this last wish. To stare at your always beautiful face, lock your wonderful blue eyes again, admire the addictive line of your lips, the black of your hair, and save them in my mind forever.
I can't accept that you had to go. I admit I am weak and scared. More than ever. I'm frightened and I don't know if I am able to do this all alone. Trin, I need your strength!!
I don't know what is going to happen tonight. If I rise or fall. I know that I have to fulfill the purpose of the One. I know that the future of human race depends on me tonight. I must fight this last battle. And you know, Trin, I wish I died in that fight. I had had enough. I wish I won over the machines and died having your image in my mind. I'd be happy then. The only thing I want now is reuniting with you in that peaceful place far away from here. Where our souls could become one at last and live together for eternity. I don't have a place here without you. I'm nothing without you.
I'm too tired.
I must go and finish what we have began. For everything we were fighting for. For everything YOU were fighting for. For giving a meaning of our efforts. I must do it. For other innocent people of Zion. For you and me...
But before I go, never forget how much I loved you...
~Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me~
=Celine Dion- Because you loved me=