I am a terrible human being. Why did I do this? Oh right, I thought it would be funny to do a crossover fic with two different SIs.

I am still a terrible human being.

Warning: if you're reading Moonflower, this story has MAJOR SPOILERS FOR UNPOSTED PLOT. If you don't mind, then go ahead. If you do... just... kind of stick this in your favorites and forget about it until you see that I've posted said spoilers. A bunch of this chapter is copied directly from DoS, which I will mark as Silver Queen's and not my own writing. Pretty much assume that everything from Shikako's point of view is taken from DoS, with minor grammar and plot edits for now.

This will also be updating kind of slowly, as I have the actual story of Moonflower to write, and also my most popular story, Of Demons and Men, and then there's a trilogy that I want to finish writing. :P

If you haven't guessed, this story switches POVs from Shikako to Inoko and back again, and will continue to do so unless otherwise stated.

(start DoS copy)

*Shikako's POV*

Iruka-sensei dismissed us for what was, in all actuality, a very long lunch break seeing as how we had only come to the Academy for team assignments anyway. I think it may have been a subtle way of saying 'bow to the whims of your superiors, no matter how nonsensical'. He had said, "Get to know your teammates" but we had all been in the same class for the past seven years; it wasn't like we didn't know each other. Then again, given the Naruto-Sasuke combination, that didn't necessarily equate to being friends.

"Umm, did you want to eat lunch together?" I asked softly. "I have extra lunch." Mum had made extra lunch for the sole purpose of sharing with our teammates. Nothing quite breaks the ice like free food.

Naruto lit up like Christmas had come early. "Awesome! Your mom makes the best bento! Hey, why don't we go find Shikamaru? He's on Chouji's team, right?" He grabbed my arm and started dragging. Given that's how I usually get Shika to move, I acknowledge the irony.

"Sasuke?" I queried, sticking my feet to the floor against Naruto's tugging. He clearly didn't intend to come with us. "Will you please come?"

I could see the 'don't get in my way' written on his face. He clearly didn't like being put on a three person, and certainly not with Naruto. I found it interesting that he didn't seem to have expected the teams.

Now that I thought about it… it wasn't something that had been covered in the Academy explicitly. It was just… there. Implicit in everything; ninja work in teams. Something you just knew from family, from stories. It wasn't something you got told.

Which left a lot of people out in the cold: civilian kids, orphans… they'd have no idea about the 'unspoken rules'. I hadn't even realized there were any.

Naruto groaned. "Aww, what do you want him to come for? It's bad enough that he has to be on our team… hey, do you think Iruka-sensei will let us swap him? Maybe for Sakura-chan, yeah, that'd be great!"

Sasuke scowled. "Fine," he bit out, probably just out of spite.

I felt like sighing and let Naruto drag me inside. Trying to keep the peace between these two was going to cause a headache and a half. And that isn't even mentioning trying to get them to work together.

Lunch was trying. Finding Shika meant finding Ino, who spent the entire time fussing over Sasuke, who got increasingly irritated and sniped at Naruto. Naruto shouted back. It was hardly a calming, relaxing 'get to know you'.

Hmm. It might have been cleverer to reduce the amount of time we spent together to avoid getting on each other's nerves. Then again, I suspected we would have plenty of time after lunch to annoy each other as well.

We went back to class and the other teams were collected one by one. Sarutobi Asuma collected Team Ten, looking completely unbothered, and Yuhi Kurenai, looking neatly professional, escorted Team Eight out of the classroom. A jounin I didn't recognize took Sakura with Team One. Then it was just us. Iruka-sensei looked flustered and checked his watch.

"I've got to be at the mission desk in ten minutes. You'll be alright waiting for your jounin-sensei?" he asked.

We assured him that we would. Or rather, Sasuke grunted, I nodded, and Naruto chattered loudly about how there was nothing he couldn't do.

I'd brought a book with me, as I did nearly every day. It was a thick and heavy book on Metabolic Biochemistry. Chemistry had never been my forte, but everything was subtly different here with the inclusion of chakra cycles. Chakra wasn't stored as ATP as the rest of the energy in the body was, it was… well, no one actually knew. It manifested mostly as light, so it was hypothesised to be stored as electromagnetic or some form of waveform energy, but that was starting to get into physics beyond my understanding.

Sasuke was, of course, capable of waiting patiently, even if it was with bad grace. Naruto, however, was bored long before Iruka left, and without the commanding glare of his teacher, started investigating the classroom. He opened drawers and cupboards, peered behind shelves, and leaned so far out the window he nearly fell out. The teachers knew better than to leave anything in the classrooms, and there wasn't really enough there to keep him entertained.

I thought about suggesting he read a book, but rejected the idea. I certainly didn't have anything that he would be interested in, and it was doubtful that he brought anything.

Then again, I thought, watching him prop the blackboard eraser on top of the door, it's not like he's destroying anything.

Sasuke snorted in disgust. "No half decent jounin is going to fall for that." It was clear he was bored and itching for a fight.

I felt a… shiver in the air. The amount of ambient chakra just increased, as though someone had used a jutsu.

What-?

There was someone in the corridor. I ignored Sasuke and Naruto arguing and watched the door slid open, the eraser falling to land on a mop of - blonde hair?

There was an instant of silence.

"Bwahahahaha!" Naruto howled. "You fell for it! I can't believe it! Take that, Sasuke! I am the prank master!" (end Dos copy) I felt cold.

That's not Hatake Kakashi.

*Inoko's POV*

That's not Haruno Sakura. I blinked in surprise, but instead focused on the laughing blond and the eraser plopped on my head. Just like old times, I thought fondly. I removed the eraser from my head and set it down on the desk, ignoring the dark haired girl staring at me like I had killed someone.

Well, I had. Many people, actually, but probably no one she knew.

Maybe.

"Sorry about being late, I overslept," I explained, then glanced over them. "Hmm. My first impression of you," I mused, staring at them until all three looked away. I finished flatly, "I don't like you." I heard the dark haired girl wince softly. "Meet me on the roof in five minutes~" I sang, then shunshined my way up.

This was going to be fun.

That's not Kakashi, I thought numbly as I climbed the stairs. The blonde woman that entered the room was not who I thought was going to be teaching. I was expecting a tall, lazy, porn reading jounin. Not an average woman who was by far the scariest person I had ever seen. Those eyes… I resisted the urge to shudder.

"Excellent," the woman said as we sat down on the steps in front of her. I studied her while doing my best to not meet her eyes. She was leaning against the railing, and I was purposely not meeting her snake like eyes. She seemed to be about thirty, but her very chakra felt tired. Older. Her light blonde hair came about halfway down to her back, coiled in a braid. Small red flowers were stuck in the plait, and a sprig of rosemary poking out behind an ear. She was a Yamanaka alright.

Her headband was battered and dull with a vertical cut that matched with a white scar on her right cheek. Her baby blue eyes, the same color as Ino's, really, were cut by vertical snake-like pupils. She had heavy bags underneath them, suggesting a sleep disorder. Insomnia, perhaps?

"Glad you made it up in time. I despise tardy people." She seemed oblivious to the irony of her statement. "Go ahead and introduce yourselves." There was an awkward silence. "You know, likes, dislikes, ho- You know what, I'll just go first and show you how it's done. My name is Yamanaka Inoko. I like my summons, chocolate, and learning. I dislike cockroaches and green beans. My hobbies are sealing, learning new things, and eating good food. My dream for the future…" She leaned forward with a gleam in her eyes as I filed the information away. "Is to change the world."

I didn't trust her at all. I knew I had been forgetting things, but I knew for a fact that there never was a 'Yamanaka Inoko' in the Narutoverse. So who is she, and why has she replaced Kakashi?

"Your turn, Duckling," she said, gesturing to Sasuke. I felt him bristle beside me at the nickname as Naruto snickered.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke," he intoned quietly. "I have lots of dislikes, but it doesn't matter since there is almost nothing I like. My dream for the future… no, my ambition is to revive my clan and kill a certain man." Inoko blinked slowly, the only sign she heard being the slight tightening of her jaw. There was something horrifying about listening to a twelve year old declare intent to murder in a perfectly emotionless tone, and our new sensei seemed to see that too.

"I see," she said evenly. "What about you, Kit?" Is she going to give all of us nicknames? I thought, amused but still wary.

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto!" he shouted. "What I like is ramen, especially the kind at Ichiraku Ramen! What I dislike is the three minute wait after you pour in the boiling water! My hobbies are eating ramen! And my dream… is to be the next Hokage!"

"Interesting," Inoko said, then winked. "Though I think there might be a couple between you and the old man." … What? She gave a sly grin, then gestured for me to go. (start DoS copy with minor edits)

"My name is Nara Shikako. I like my family and the deer. I dislike people yelling. My hobbies are reading and… helping out at the clan workshop. My dream…" I hesitated.

As I gave the basic introduction, my voice was quiet, and trembled just a little. Public speaking of any kind, even in front of only a few people, had always afflicted me with nerves. It was something I had no control over, something that defied any sort of reasoning. No matter how much I repeated to myself that nothing would happen, that there was nothing scary about talking to people, still my voice would shake.

The boys probably didn't notice, but Inoko-sensei undoubtedly did. I wonder what she thought of it. Did she think I had low self esteem, did she think I was shy, did she think anything of it at all?

My dream is to be special. I almost said it, but I looked up at just the wrong moment. The boys didn't seem to be paying any attention at all, and Inoko was staring at me with an intensity that reminded me nothing more than a predator eyeing her prey. I shuddered, and instead whispered, "doesn't matter." She looked at me for a long moment more before I felt her eyes move off me. (end DoS copy with minor edits)

"Everything matters," Inoko said airily. She flashed me a smile that belied her terrifying appearance before continuing. "It's good that you have dreams for the future. It implies that you'll be alive and strong enough to achieve them." Her gaze flickered from Sasuke to Naruto. I caught a glimpse of pain in her eyes. "We'll be taking our first mission tomorrow."

"Yeah!" Naruto cheered. "Are we rescuing a princess? Or taking down a warlord?"

Inoko was silent for a second, then began to… giggle? I could feel the tendril of foreign chakra in my system that wanted me to believe that the sky was darkening. I isolated it quickly and dispelled it. It felt felt smooth and cold against my senses.

She lifted her head a little and gave us a cold, yet amused look. I shuddered and looked away.

"Not quite. It's a survival exercise, really. But," she said, holding a long finger up at Naruto's protests, "it's not like the ones you're used to. You'll be surviving against me." The amount of menace in her voice stirring unease in my gut. The Hokage wouldn't trust a psychopath with a grudge with Naruto and Sasuke, I chanted to myself. There's a reason she's acting like this. That didn't make me feel any better.

"Ne, kiddos, " she said, her entire demeanor changing. "I'll see you tomorrow at Training Ground Three, at about…. how about five in the morning? Any objections?" Naruto whimpered a little. "Great, it's unanimous! Bye~" Inoko-sensei vanished in a swirl of leaves and we were alone.

Well then. You now know which part of Inoko is most like me. Review please, or I may chicken out and take it down.