This is set at the end of the second manga volume, after the Mikado Sanzenin kiss incident. It picks up with Ranma in the dojo, but don't freak out on me, I'm not doing the word-for-word copying thing. Just read it.
I don't own Ranma 1/3
This is for Gabbi and Michelle, who originally started this idea, and for being the first two people to make me utter the words "It only counts if you're lesbian!"
It Only Counts by Ransomed Heart
Ranma was tracing an intricate pattern on the floor with his fingers. 'Stupid Sanzenin. Stupid skates. Stupid first kiss. Total and complete humiliation! Boy, is that sonnova-'
"You're not very alert tonight, are you?" Akane's voice broke into the miserable martial artist's stream of thoughts. She was wielding a hefty first aid kit, no doubt to patch up his external wounds. It was a pity that she couldn't patch up his bruised ego.
"You can't hide here forever you know."
Ranma responded by making a disdainful 'hmph' noise and pointedly looking in the other direction. "Why don't you just laugh at me? Everyone else is."
Akane croutched down next to him and gave a very fake sounding laugh. Ranma knew it was done simply to annoy him but he still had to react. He had been mocked and humiliated too many times already that day to simply let any taunt go unchallenged.
"And what do you find so funny," he snapped, clenching his fists.
Akane's chocolate brown eyes met his own silver-blue without a hint of flippancy. "Why are you so upset about all this? Was it really your first kiss?"
Ranma didn't answer, but Akane understood the silence. "It's like Nabiki said, it doesn't count or anything."
"And who says that?"
Akane pulled out a band-aid and placed it across his nose. "Are you gay?"
He stared at her in disbelief. "What difference does that make? And how can you even ask me that?"
Akane looked at him, a scolding gleam in her eyes. "It makes all the difference in the world. If you were gay and it had been your first kiss, then it would have counted. But seeing as you're not, it didn't count."
It was said with such self-assurance that Ranma leaned forward unconciously. It put his face considerably closer to Akane's than normal, and the girl found herself fighting the urge to blush. "Really? You're sure?"
Akane cocked her head. "Well, if I went and kissed Yuka right now, I certainly wouldn't count it as my first kiss. That would be silly. I have no romantic interest in her, or any other girl for that matter. You first kiss should be with someone you like."
"And that's why we haven't kissed yet," Ranma concluded triumphantly. Akane sweatdropped slightly, but nodded.
"Exactly. We have no romantic interest in each other, so why should we kiss?" Akane shut the lid to the kit and rose to her feet, laughing nervously. 'Of course I have no feelings for him!'
"Feeling better now," she asked Ranma.
"Yeah, I guess," he mused. "Thanks Akane."
She had her back to him so Ranma couldn't see, but Akabne smiled. "Goodnight, Ranma."
He nodded in agreement. "'Night, Akane."