Started: January 4, 2003
Finished: January 5, 2003
Last Episode Seen Before Writing: Rush
Pairing: Chloe/Clark
Rating: PG-13
Category: Angst, Romance
Spoilers: slight Nicodemus, major Rush
Summary: Clark remembers Chloe's words, and so does she. Post-episodic for Rush.
Disclaimer: No owning is done here.
If I Fall
Chapter 1- Remembering
"Don't tell me you're thinking about Lana."
"I'm nothing more than your own personal search engine, and I'm sick of it."
"Every time we hang out it's just to get answers."
"You don't have any real feelings for me, do you, Clark?"
"Chloe why don't you research this? Or Chloe why don't you look up that?"
"I want you, Clark."
Clark sighed heavily as Chloe's words ran through his head. He was lounging on the couch in his loft, going over what had happened the previous week. Clark ran a hand through his hair. Unlike Chloe he remembered everything that had happened. He remembered telling Chloe his secret. He remembered how great it felt for her to know. Clark also remembered how it felt for him to not be scared to be himself in front of Chloe after she found out. Most of all he remembered the kiss. Well, kisses. There were multiple kisses. Many multiples of kisses…
What was bothering him the most was that he did under the influence of the red meteor rocks wasn't all their fault. In other words, he wouldn't do anything he didn't want to do. In a way it was as if the Nicodemus flower had sneezed on him. When he had told Jonathan that he felt like a piece of farm equipment, it was partly true. He didn't mean for it to come out like that, or to use it against his father. He loves Jonathan and would do anything to help him, but in a way he does feel like a piece of equipment. So, that means that somewhere deep inside he has feelings for Chloe. Clark sighed again.
"Such a heavy sigh from the invincible Clark Kent," Chloe said with a smile, walking into the loft.
Clark quickly sat up. "Hey, Chloe. Feeling better?"
"Want to tell me what really happened?" she asked, sitting on the edge of the couch.
"What do you mean?" Clark asked, looking over Chloe's shoulder.
"I want the real truth, and not the Clark Kent version of it," Chloe answered. Her voice had a gentle edge to it. Chloe closed her eyes for a split second.
"You kissed me," Clark blurted out, surprising not only himself, but Chloe, also. "No, that's a lie. I sort of kissed you first."
Chloe looked calm, as if the news didn't surprise her. "Why would you kiss me, Clark?"
"Because Pete put a red mete-" Clark cut himself off abruptly with a grimace.
"Pete put a red meteor rock…? Where? And what would that have to do with anything?" Chloe asked in confusion. Even if she had remembered what had happened, she still didn't know how the meteors affected him.
Clark seemed to think for a second before taking a deep breath. "He put one in my pocket. They kind of make me go crazy."
"Like psychotic, murderer crazy? Like coo coo for cocoa puffs crazy? What do you mean?" Chloe asked, putting her purse on the couch.
"Like, hormonal crazy," Clark answered uncertainly.
"Clark has hormones? No!" Chloe teased. "Do the meteors affect everyone like that?"
Clark looked Chloe straight in the eye, something he hadn't been able to bring himself to do to anyone in the past. "No, only me, because I'm different."
Chloe seemed to think about it for a minute. "Different. Such a broad term."
"I'm not from here, Chloe," Clark answered, holding his breath while he waited for Chloe's reply. He wasn't ready when she leaned in to hug him.
"Thank you, Clark," Chloe said, resting her chin on his shoulder.
Clark wrapped his arms around her small body. "Thank me for what?"
"If I fall, will you catch me?" she whispered hopefully.
"You- You remember?" Clark asked, letting her go when she pulled back.
Chloe nodded with a peaceful smile, her blond hair swaying in the movements. He was glad it was back to it's regular blond without the black streaks. She had looked sexy, but it wasn't Chloe.
"But, you said you didn't," Clark pointed out.
"And you said you had nothing to do last weekend," Chloe threw back, her smile growing slightly bitter.
"Okay, okay, I get the point. So, you remember everything?" Clark asked.
"You don't believe me? Here, let me give you proof," Chloe replied, standing up. " I kissed you in the Talon and Lana walked in. You said it wasn't what it looked like, and I threw it in her face, saying yes it was exactly what it looked like. Oh, and This one's my personal favorite. I remember telling Lex that with his money he should afford a toupee. So, I do remember. Everything. Just one question, though. Where do we stand?"
"I don't know, Chloe," Clark answered, standing and turning his back.
"No. Don't you dare turn away from me. When you do that it means you're hiding something. Look at me," Chloe demanded, waiting until Clark turned around. " I can just stuff it in my mental trash can with the Spring Formal memories, and all the other crap. But to be honest, that kills me, Clark. To know it's there, but have to pretend like it isn't."
Clark was in front of Chloe in an instant. "Don't pretend, Chloe," he said, pressing his lips to hers.
Chloe pulled back when she was forced to take a breath. "I won't," she said, her voice coming out small. "But will you?"
Clark pressed his forehead to Chloe's. "I know I mess up a lot, Chloe. I'm not promising that I won't mess up again, or even that I'll be a good boyfriend. But if you're willing, I want to try. If I fall, will you catch me?" he asked, his voice softening for the last remark.
Chloe gently pushed Clark away, turning her back to him with a sigh.
"What's wrong?" Clark asked, standing behind Chloe now.
Chloe turned slowly, the look in her eyes breaking Clark's heart. "I don't know if I can."
"Chloe, I know I've relied on you so much in the past, and I'm sorry. I can understand how wary you must be. You have to believe me when I say that if I'm with you, I'm not with Lana. It's the honest truth," Clark said, putting his hands on Chloe's shoulders.
Chloe nodded slightly. "I believe you, Clark," she said, kissing him gently. "And you better believe me. If I see anything, I'm gone. I promise. I've been burned too many times to put up with it again."
Clark leaned down and kissed Chloe's shoulder, then her neck. "I know," he answered, his breath causing Chloe to shiver. "I'm sorry, and I'll do anything to make it up to you."
"Light my fire," Chloe answered softly.
Clark pulled back quickly, his eyes widening. "What?!"
Chloe grinned. "Sorry, I couldn't resist. Well, I thought it was funny," she said, glancing to the lamp Clark had lit earlier.
Clark looked at the lamp, his eyes glowing red. "There," he said when the wick had been lit.
Chloe laughed lightly. "Much better."
Clark rolled his eyes. "You're just too funny."
"I try," Chloe said, pressing her body to Clark's. "One thing I liked about the whole rush was how close we were. And I don't mean mentally."
Clark snaked his arm around Chloe's waist. "Yeah," he answered, leaning in to kiss Chloe.
"Mmm," Chloe moaned. "I could get used to this."
"Go right ahead," Clark answered, wrapping both arms around her waist, and resuming the kiss.