A/N: this was partially not written by, all the weirdness parts that seem extremely weird are done by another person. Thank you, love you all, please review, dr g

I screamed. My screams filled the silence of the night and was heard by every being in District 12. I felt someone watching me there at three a.m. I had had the most horrible nightmare. I thought I'd heard someone and saw someone and yet I didn't. I can't live this way. Not after what he tried to do to me last night.

I slept till seven and awoke to find my father sitting on the edge of the bed. I shot up and tried to edge away. He opens his mouth.

"I'm sorry." I know he's not. I got out of the bed and hurried to the bathroom where I'd laid out my clothes for the Reaping. I put them on and quickly ran out. He tried to follow, but I zoomed to the black market before he can get me. I disappeared into the crowd and sat next to the old woman, Greasy Sae. I see the little brown haired girl who hunts in the forest named Everdeen or something come in nervously to trade. Her father was blown to bits a few years ago. I feel sorry for her, and wish I could help, but I don't even have enough food for myself. I look up at Greasy Sae. She nods and I know it's time to go. I hug her and tears fill her eyes. I love her as if she was my own mother, but I have to go. I pull myself together and set off.

I get in line and have my blood taken and I am put with the other girls. The lady, Effie Trinket sits next to a drunken man whom I suddenly have a butterfly in my stomach about. I wonder why as I watch as Effie Trinket walks up and begins to announce the 73rd Hunger Games. She reaches into the girl's bowl and pulls out a 'Cathy Cellia'. I wait. They pick out a scrawny boy as the other tribute, and everyone claps. Then Effie asks if there are any volunteers.

I take a deep breath and shout

"I volunteer!" everyone gasps.

I fling my red hair back and walk out and say

"I volunteer for your Hunger Games." Effie smiles in delight as the crowd began to cheer. I run up on stage. I smile and view the crowd. The drunken man behind me is in shock. I smile wider. My father is clearly unhappy. I direct my gaze at him. He gives me the finger and I smile as happy as I can as the crowd continues to cheer. I'd done it, I had escaped.

"What is your name, dear?"

"Lily Rebiva." she smiles and announces my name out loud. I was escorted to the Justice Building where I was visited by Greasy Sae. She was crying.

"Don't leave Lily, don't go my little Li Ree. I don't want you to leave us." she cried into my shoulder.

"Don't cry. I'm in a better place now. I don't have to fear. I can win. I love you, so keep cheering for me, ok?"

"Alright, Lee. Be careful my friend."

One thing that I'm glad that didn't happen was that the district didn't salute a goodbye for me. That would have meant trouble for me, most likely with the Capitol. They don't like rebellion, or gestures of sadness.

I have several names: Lily, Ree, Lee, Li Ree, Little Ree and Little Monkey. People usually call me Lily 'cause that's my real name.

I am then visited by my father.

"You bitch."

"I'm not the dumbass."

"Don't speak to me like-"

"Why not, you dick?"

"I said cut it-."

"Hell I will, the way you treated me."

"You fucking little ingrate-"

"You're the one who is the incest. I hate you! I volunteered so I could get away from you!"

"I hope you don't last five minutes."

"Thanks."

He approached me and I screamed. A guard came in and took my father out.

I was taken to the train station. I was sat next to the boy tribute whose name I learned was Jack Combe. He said he was happy that I volunteered but he didn't ask why I did. Effie Trinket came in and I smiled and stood up. To this she smiled and said,

"At least there's one tribute whose happy to be here!" I hugged her, and sat back down. She and I chatted. I talked of how I really wanted to see the Capitol and its people. She talked of extravagant parties and events. I was about to continue my conversation with Effie when the drunken man walked in yelling,

"What a daaaaaamn liiar shee izzz. Don't belieeeeveeee a wwwoord. Heerrr faaathhhheer's an ii-"

I got up and tackled him, covering his mouth before he could say anything in his slurring. He was weak from being drunk, but I still had to struggle to fight him. Effie tried to pry me off of him, but I wouldn't loosen myself. She complained that her hair was messed up. I struggled and struggled. I finally let go.

"Fiine. I wonnn' tellll 'emm. Buuut yooou'd bett-ter waatch yourrrssselfff." he went back to his own car and Effie looked at me. I smiled guiltily and she said.

"We need to have a talk." she took me to her car and sat me down in a chair.

She took the one across from it and said,

"What is Haymitch moaning about?"

"Effie, I don't really want to talk about it."

"You don't have a choice." she said firmly, fixing her hair.

"Promise you won't tell anyone?"

"Yes."

"If you tell, it will ruin everything I have planned. I plan to tell Caesar to get sponsors. Or maybe during the games or after." I sighed.

"Ok. Here we go. My father is an incest." she gasped.

"He's tried to get me several times, but last night he touched me and this morning... He said he was sorry but I don't believe him for a second! He's a dirty bastard and I don't want to see him ever again!" I slowly felt tears fall down my cheeks as I told her of my life. She listened, tender and caring. She put an arm around me to comfort me and I sobbed silently without getting tears onto her skirt. Silently I got up and said that I wanted to go and change. It was getting towards dark. I changed into a set of soft fleece pjs. I knew I had to talk to Haymitch. I walked into his room to find him sprawled out on his bed. I suddenly wanted to leave, but I knew I had to talk to him. I sat on the bed and nudged him.

He shot up and I made the bad mistake of almost sitting too close. A knife flipped out and I jumped back.

"What the hell?"

"Hey, hey, hey, calm down. It's Lily. I need to talk to you."

"Why the... Oh, about before." he sat up. In the light of the moon I could see he was only wearing boxers. I didn't shy away. My father had often walked in his boxers...I sat back on the bed. He set the knife down on the nightstand. He eyed me.

"You want to be nearer to me." he gave me butterflies in my stomach. I didn't know what to say. He smiled and laid down.

"Whether you stay or talk or go, I don't care." he closed his eyes. I wanted comfort. He knew of my father. Somehow, he could help. I needed someone. But I didn't want it to become as personal as it could be. He was silently huddled on his bed. He had the knife still on his nightstand. I subconsciously laid down on the comfortable sheets.

"Don't worry." he murmured. I watched him turn over. "Your father scares you. I know you see him in me. I won't touch you or hurt you unless you need me. I promise."

I pulled his arms to hug me.

I cried, feeling the flashbacks of my father smiling as he watched me through a door crack, or sneaked glances at me in a mirror in the bathroom or shower. I suddenly saw them. Haymitch was looking for food. He was in the black market. My father stormed in.

"Where is she? Where is that-" I jumped up. I screamed. I ran and disturbed all the tables, him running after me. Then Haymitch was standing up in the middle of it all. I slammed into him. He looked in surprise and I kept running. That's how Haymitch knew. I looked into his chest now, and then up at his eyes. And Haymitch was suddenly transformed into my father. I looked in his eyes and saw the gray-black soulless ones of my father. I opened my mouth to exclaim or scream, but Haymitch covered my mouth. He tried to bring me back, saying,

"Shh, shh, it's me, Haymitch, you're here on a train. You're a tribute. Shh." he calmed me. I felt sick. He then let go of me and grabbed a bottle of Capitol alcohol and gave it to me.

"Take the cares away. I won't let him get you. I am here to protect you and get you through these games. Go on." I drank from it and emptied half of a bottle. He kissed my head and I hugged him again. I lay there, holding onto sanity for dear life. Flashbacks were a mist now. I couldn't tell from moment to moment what was real, and what was past. Around midnight Haymitch pushed me away and told me that I needed to go to my own car. He kissed me on the head.

"I have faith in you, sweetheart. You seem to be the only tribute 12 will ever be able to count on."

"Thanks, Haymitch. Don't tell Effie I came in here, okay?"

"Why the Hell would I tell that woman anything? Goodnight." he closed his door. I slept soundly that night. For once.

The next night, however I had a nightmare that my father had snuck in my train room and touched me. He almost got close to rape. I woke screaming. I simmered down and ran to Haymitch's room. I climbed into his bed and slowly roused him. He didn't knife me. I hugged my arms around him and he comforted me as I sobbed. I told him about my dream and he let me stay curled up next to him for comfort. I feel him edge closer and closer to my side. I am not afraid, yet I am terrified. I feel so scarred of my own thoughts. I latch two fingers to Haymitch's arm and pull it around me. He puts his other arm under me.

"Haymitch?"

"Hmm?"

"Comfort me." he looked down at me. I closed my eyes. I nodded.

He settled his head next to my neck.

"Are you gonna win the games?" He kissed my forehead.

"Yes." I breathed. I needed this comfort. I didn't push him any further, just this. So the nightmares would go away. Just for now.

I let him kiss me again. It tendered my aching muscles and helped me become calm. I slept.