Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note

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He sighed.

Even the song of the angry rain couldn't drown out the sound of the bells echoing in L's mind. And of course he knew they were just in his head – there was no way anyone would hear actual bells on the rooftop of the Task Force building. He'd hoped that the rain and winds would give him some reprieve from the ominous sounds his mind created, but it truly seemed as if nothing could stop them.

There was a loud, telling squeak as the door to the rooftop swung open. He slowly turned to face the newcomer – he'd been expecting Light any minute now, anyway.

But it wasn't Light. Instead, he found himself face to face, eye to eye with the only woman on the Task Force.

They stared at each other.

Now, L was honestly quite happy to admit to himself and anyone who might ask that he had little to no knowledge about the inner workings of a woman's mind. Still, from experience, he knew that given the chance, they could be strong, graceful, and quite persevering. Naomi Misora and Misa Amane were good examples of this – even if the latter was a romantic airhead. They could get things done.

And then there was Matsuda Touta.

L had honestly no idea just how the childish woman had managed to get into the NPA because while she didn't hinder the Kira investigation, she hadn't really contributed much to it, either (and she'd nearly gotten herself killed on her impromptu investigation of the Yotsuba group that time...). Matsuda was a plain, simple person who normally wore her hair in a ponytail and dressed herself in typical work clothes. She was excitable, impulsive, often saying things without thinking. And she was unpredictable in the worst times possible.

…Which also made her oddly interesting in a way only Matsuda could be. So he'd watched her. Insulted her. Took in her excitability the way he would a breath of fresh air, and kept her close because he didn't want the world he knew too much of to change her any more than she had during the past two months.

"Why are you up here?" she called out to him from her safely covered spot on the roof.

"I thought it would be nice to get drenched in rainwater." It's sarcasm, but L wondered if she would pick up on that – he wouldn't be particularly surprised if she didn't. Still, surely she wasn't that naïve…

Matsuda glared at him. But then, she stepped out into the rain anyway, welcoming in the icy droplets accompanied by the bitter winds. She made her way towards him, taking care not to slip. She wasn't wearing her usual ponytail today, L noted. Soon, her bangs were plastered to her forehead and her hair was a sopping black mass weighed down by the weight of the water.

"Go back into the building; you'll get a cold," L chided her when she reached him.

"And you won't?"

"I don't get colds." L peered down her curiously – even with his slouched posture, he was still taller than her by a few good inches. "Why did you come over?"

Matsuda shrugged. "I didn't want to leave you alone out here."

It was a simple answer, one that L could see has no particular agenda behind it. But it's a peculiar reply, to be sure. "I'm fine, Matsuda. You don't have to bother yourself with accompanying me under such unpleasant weather."

She didn't respond, simply opting to stand beside him. It's a strange thing for her to do, and L wasn't sure just what the situation called for. But then, maybe silence between them was all that was needed or wanted right now; the quiet companionship she was offering at the moment wasn't exactly unwelcome, even if it was a little unusual of her. It was … kind of nice, actually.

"Do you hear them?" The words tumbled out of L, and he almost clapped a hand over his mouth. Why did he say that?!

She threw him a curious glance. "Hear what?"

"…The ringing of the bells. Do you hear them?"

Matsuda tilted her head slightly, straining her ears. "...No, I don't hear anything except the rain."

"Really…?" L hesitated for a moment before adding, "The sound of the bells have been unusually loud today. It's very distracting … I wonder if it's a church, or a wedding, or a…"

The last word hung between them, unspoken, but he was sure that even Matsuda would be able to pick it up. And if the way she bit her lip was any indication, she already had. He wasn't at all sure why he was talking to her like this – there were no games he must play with this woman. There was nothing he needed from her, and there was nothing she wanted from him.

But maybe that's why he couldn't stop talking.

"Please, don't pay me any mind," L started again, his voice dragging at his words. "Nothing I say makes sense anymore. If I were you, I wouldn't believe a word of it."

And again, Matsuda was simply silent. Where did that loud, talkative youth L had seen every day during the Kira investigation go? L scrutinized the slightly smaller form beside him.

Before him stood a tired young woman drenched in the heavy rain. Her eyes were empty without the usual hopeful excitement or the steely determination he'd seen as they had worked together. Her mouth was set in a grim line, and her shoulders caved in slightly.

This was not Matsuda Touta. This couldn't be Matsuda because Matsuda is energetic and noisy and cheerful and kind. Not … broken.

"What are you doing?!" Matsuda nearly shrieked as L pinched her. Hard.

"Wondering if you're really Matsuda Touta and not some impostor."

"Geez, it's me, okay?!"

"It would appear so." L let himself smile a little; there was the woman he knew – and looking like she was about to slap him, to boot.

"...I don't believe it."

"What?" L stared at the creature confirmed to be Matsuda. What was she talking about?

Touta turned away from him slightly. "I-I'm not saying that I can understand everything you say, but even when you talk like this … I think that it has some meaning."

L continued staring at her. Was he even supposed to respond to that? He hadn't even realized that her mind was still on his odd little ramble. Finally, he dragged his eyes off his teammate. He allowed the silence to stretch and drag between them without interruption. But when she moved, perhaps to go away, his hand snatched the sleeve of her completely soaked jacket and refused to let go.

"Ryuzaki?"

L had no answer to the word that asked a thousand questions. But to be honest, even he wasn't sure why he'd reached out like that. He just … had.

"Please … would you stay with me just a little while longer?" He hadn't meant for the request to sound so much like a plea. And he didn't need to glance at her face to know that she was surprised; so was he. But right now, at this moment, even if he couldn't figure out the reason, he didn't want Matsuda to leave him alone on the roof. Not right now. More so if Light really was going to show up sometime soon. It was a strange thing, and not something he could really explain away at the moment – it must be the rain and those bells and the heavy feeling in his chest muddling him up.

But … he did know one thing for sure. He wanted to make a memory - a precious memory he could call his own whether or not he lived to see the end of the Kira investigation. And he wanted to make it with Matsuda.

"Ryuzaki, what–"

L hugged the female detective. Tightly, gently, carefully, he held her close with all the delicateness of a man handling a glass figurine. He tried to stroke her drenched hair, but could only go so far before encountering troublesome tangles and decided to simply keep his long fingers in the dark locks. It was tempting, so tempting to talk to her now, to let all of his feelings escape from him now that they were in this ridiculously intimate position. But he refused to open his mouth this time – refused to whisper empty promises to this woman. To give her hope for a future that had more than an 82% chance of never coming to pass.

Because Matsuda deserved so much more than empty words. And, oh, how much it hurt L to admit to himself that he couldn't give her anything more than that. Yet the toll of the bells still in his mind refused him any hope or even fantasy of a happy ending.

So instead, he let the rain pour without a word coming in between them. He breathed her in. And when Matsuda's arms came up to hug him back, his heart beat harder than it should for a few seconds.

L wished this moment – so beautiful, so much more real than the rest of his life has been – would never end. But Light was coming, he was sure, and L didn't want to share this with anyone. This was his. His and Matsuda's and no one else's. So slowly, reluctantly, he pulled himself away from her. Still, his hand lingered on hers.

"Dry yourself before you catch something," he murmured, just loud enough for her to hear.

And then he let go.

Matsuda didn't reply, but after giving him a long look – L wondered if there was something in his face that kept her from arguing – turned around and slowly walked towards the exit. And he watched her, dark eyes glued to her back.

She looked back at him once, her eyes unsure, hesitant. She wanted to stay with him for a little while longer, and just the thought of that warmed L's chest. But he nodded for her to leave - it was time for her to go.

Then, when the door shut and he was alone again, he allowed a tear to fall down his face, and he let himself pretend it was just another drop of rain.

Later, when the door squeaked open again, L didn't bother turning to face the newcomer – he knew who it was this time.

"What are you doing out in the rain?"

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Author's Note: Thank you for reading, and reviews are very much appreciated (this is my first time writing about romance).

(August 6, 2015 update - the grammar has been cleaned up a bit)