Title: Musical Connections
Pairing: Victor/Victoria
Tags: Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Music, Piano
Summary: Victoria was jealous of Emily, a woman who seemed to love playing the piano just as much as Victor. But Victoria has a secret: a debilitating illness that prevents her from sharing in that same connection. What will happen when Victor finds out her secret?
BETA: TheSupernova
Victoria leaned against the balcony, watching as Victor played the piano, unaware of her watchful gaze from above. It had been a few months since Emily departed, and Victor had told her of his adventures in the land of the dead. Even now, just thinking of it sent a cold chill down her spine. She sighed, turning back to her room.
It was almost winter, and the fire in Victoria's room had gone out. She thought of calling for one of the servants, but decided against it, instead wrapping herself in a cozy blanket from the couch. The weather was grey and cloudy, light drops of rain splattering against the window. Victoria turned her attention back to the fireplace, desolate and empty.
Honestly speaking, Victoria was jealous of Emily, a woman who seemed to love the piano just as much as Victor. Music was one of Victor's passions, and he played every morning for hours on end.
Victoria looked down at her hands, watching them shake as she tried to tighten her grip on the blanket. They kept shaking harder until she let go. She was diagnosed almost two years ago with an illness that caused her wrists and hands to tremor when Victoria tried to perform even the most mundane of tasks. Drinking a glass of water, tying her shoelaces, playing piano. When she was still, so were her hands.
She wanted so badly to play the piano, just like Victor. To be able to play beside him. Victor had told her time and again that he would be willing to help her learn, but every time Victoria would turn him down without giving a reason why.
They still had yet to sleep in the same room, and Victoria was reluctant to move in with Victor because she had hidden her illness well up until now. She was so happy about her marriage at first, until the implications settled in. Would Victor still marry her if he knew she had an incurable sickness?
The wind was blowing outside, a horrendous noise accompanied by the downpouring of rain. She shivered as the room slowly grew colder. Victoria's wrists were hurting, and when her blanket slipped off her shoulders, her grip was too weak and unsteady to pick it back up again.
"Damn it," she cursed, in a rare fit of anger.
"Victoria?" Victor called out from the doorway. A worried expression crossed his face. "It's freezing in here."
He called for a servant, who bustled in with some logs and a few matches before Victor could finish asking the man to light the fire. Victor waited for the servant to finish, and watched as the man closed Victoria's bedroom door on the way out.
Victoria turned towards the fire.
"Victoria," Victor said gently. "You haven't been yourself lately. I'm worried."
Victor wrapped Victoria's blanket around her shoulders, and held her close.
"Please tell me what's wrong," Victor begged.
After a few minutes, Victoria turned to face him. Victor smiled, brushing a strand of hair out of her face.
"Whatever it is, know that I'll always love you," Victor said firmly. "No matter what."
"I love you too, Victor," Victoria said in response. She looked down for a moment, holding out her hands. "I've been hiding something from you, for a long time."
"Victoria?" he said hesitantly.
She was afraid of how Victor would respond, and her body began to shake in fear, but he didn't let go. He was patient, waiting for Victoria to come around; always so patient.
Victoria took a deep breath, started talking. About her illness, the tremors and the despair she felt over being unable to play the piano. A tear slid down her cheek.
"I just wanted to share that part of your life with you," she hiccupped. "Like you and Emily."
There, Victoria said it. She was jealous of Emily and angry at herself.
Victor shook his head.
"Oh Victoria," Victor said, sighing softly. He brushed away the tears racing down her cheeks with his fingers. "You're not Emily, and I'm glad for that."
He slid his hands down her arms, enclosing her wrists gently within his hands.
"You have nothing to be ashamed of," Victor said. "When I married you, I promised to spend the rest of my life with you."
Victor used his thumbs to massage the backs of Victoria's hands. It felt wonderful.
"No matter what comes our way, we'll make it through, together," Victor smiled.
Victoria couldn't help but smile in return. She nodded, and let Victor guide her until her head rested on his chest. He held her tightly, protectively.
"The music I play, the passion behind the press of each key, is you," Victor said, while stroking her hair. The fire crackled in the background. "If the only person who ever hears my music is you, I'll be the happiest man in the world."
Victoria giggled. "I always listen to you play. It's so beautiful and passionate."
"Like you," Victor whispered into Victoria's ear.
She looked up at him, at the love written across his face, open for all to see. Victoria reached up to caress his cheek, but a tremor ran though her hand before it reached him. She immediately tried to withdraw, but Victor captured her hand and pressed it gently against his face.
"I love you, Victoria," Victor said. He pressed a kiss on Victoria's palm, then on her cheek and lips.
"Me too," Victoria said, kissing him back.
Victoria finally released the jealousy she harbored against Emily and the anger at her own helplessness. She sank into Victor's warmth and let the heat from the fire wash over her.
"Rest now," Victor said. She nodded slowly, closing her eyes.
The last thing Victoria remembered was Victor humming her favorite tune, lulling her to sleep.