A/N I do not own Twilight. No copy right Infringement Intended

A/n2 I should be working on my Harry Potter fic but that chapter is proving to be a bit of a chore. It's not quite right yet. I decided to start this one as well because sometimes Plot Bunnies hit you and you've gotta roll with it. Enjoy.

Prologue

And maybe a happy ending

doesn't include a guy,

maybe it's you,

on your own,

picking up the pieces and starting over,

freeing yourself up for something

better in the future.

Maybe the happy ending is

just moving on.

Leaving Forks was selfish. But Bella Swan couldn't be concerned about that. Forks had been home for almost a year, living with her father Charlie. Chief of Police to the townsfolk. She had put her self in exile for her mother's happiness after she remarried. She hadn't expected to fall in love...

Edward Cullen.

The name made Bella's chest fester in the place her heart used to be...

Edward was a vampire and he lived in town with his vampire family in secret. Carlisle the patriarch and doctor, Esme the loving mother and home maker, Emmett the huge goofball and big brother, Rosalie his high maintenance super gorgeous bitch, Jasper the newest member to the family who always stayed in the background... And Alice. The pixie who claimed to be her best friend.

The whole family save for Rosalie, welcomed me with open arms. Claimed me as part of their family, that I would eventually join them as Edward's mate. The one he had waited for for nearly 70 odd years.

I accepted them all. I even tried to be friendly with Rose. I loved them all in their own ways. But none, none, NONE more than Edward. I gave him all of me. I finally had a place I felt I belonged...

Then after a freak occurrence at a birthday party I hadn't wanted in the first place, I was left by everyone.

Edward was the only one who bothered to say goodbye, that the family had already left and no one would be coming back. That I was a distraction from the mundane existence in which they lived. That he was tired of pretending, that he had never wanted me.

2 minutes.

That was all it took to change my world. In 2 minutes I lost the love of my life and the family I hoped to one day be a part of.

It took me months to climb out of my depression and back into the light and that's only because I could hear his voice. Being reckless and doing dangerous things brought Edward's voice out, really it was more or less my own subconscious but I craved his voice. I craved him in ANY way I could have him.

It was then I started to spend time with Jacob Black. A boy I'd known since early childhood. Charlie's best friends son. I recalled memories of them wistfully planning our wedding and hoping one day we would be family.

Jake was my sun.

With him I was filled with warmth, with hope.

Bit by tiny bit. My fractured heart began to heal. With Jake it was as easy as breathing. We laughed and we joked and he looked at me like I hung the moon.

I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to let go of Edward and I couldn't be what Jake needed. He promised to be there for me, to wait, to not leave me like he did...

One night after a movie he made his intentions towards me clear. He was in love with me. He wanted me. While what little of my heart was repaired soared the rest of me was wary. Could I put that much time and effort in with someone else? Could I build myself up for that kind heartbreak?

I threw caution to the wind. I gave myself over to Jake and slowly but surely my heart mended. When Jacob transformed into a werewolf I had wondered what it was with me and all things supernatural. I was a magnet for danger but I accepted him, just as he had accepted me when I was broken. He loved me and I grew to love him..

It was several months into our relationship that I became pregnant...

The thing I had never, ever, considered for myself, motherhood. I grew to love the child growing inside of me. A great love I had never anticipated, it made me thank god for my parents and to understand the love they had for me. There is no love greater on earth than the love a mother has for her child. I knew then and there I would do anything for my child. I would be the parent I wished I had, had. I would kiss all the boo-boos, I would make creative meals to entice picky tummies. I would read stories and tuck him or her in at night with love...

Everything was perfect. I was going to marry Jacob and we were going to raise a family together... It was a dream come true for Charlie and Billy. Suddenly the plans they had jokingly made when we were kids came together. We would unite our families and both were so excited to be grandparents. Each vowing to out spoil the other.

I had big dreams. A small home on the reservation. Jacob working on car to support us. Maybe 2 or 3 dark haired children running through the yard. It was a wistful pleasant dream. Each month I grew bolder. I came back to myself. My love for my child and Jacob growing rapidly. My chest began to fill the emptiness with love.

The day of my baby shower everything changed.

I always knew it was a possibility, but Jacob always assured me there would never be anyone he loved more than me. Jessica Stanley and Angela Weber walked in arm in arm, each carrying a bag. I pulled Jacob over to meet my friends. He was cordial to Angela but when his eyes met Jessica's I saw something reflected in them. Deep down I knew what it was. For the sake of the party I chose to believe ignorance was bliss and chalk it up to my imagination...

The rest of the baby shower Jacob's eyes followed her. But still I didn't see what was happening. I opened presents and laughed and suddenly I couldn't find Jake. So I took off outside and what I found broke me. Jessica was in his arms and they were kissing in a way I had never been kissed. It was passionate and consuming and I fell to my knees. The baby inside me moved violently, and my hand tenderly rubbed where my baby was.

Maybe if I hadn't been pregnant. Maybe is Jessica wasn't looking so smug... Maybe I wouldn't have left.

"Bella." Jake had called to me, his tone laced with sadness and regret. "It's not my fault."

No, imprinting was a wolf thing.

Fleeing from my own baby shower I got in my truck and started away. What was I going to do? How could I raise a baby on my own? How could Jake possibly be involved? I couldn't bare the thought of him and Jessica together. It was Edward leaving all over again.

You're a distraction.

I don't want you.

It's not my fault

Imprint.

I took a curve to sharply and another vehicle from the opposite direction hit my ancient truck and I crashed into a ravine.

Waking up in the hospital was a shock. I had been 8 months pregnant and huge. Instinctively my hands had gone to my stomach. It was no longer swollen.

Panicking I screamed.

Charlie rushed into the room his eyes were red from crying. He looked so forlorn and I couldn't understand I couldn't comprehend.

"She didn't make it..." he told me.

Who? Who hadn't made it? I didn't understand what he meant. Where was my baby? Where was she...

she.

She. Didn't. Make. it.

I let out a wail of anguish.

The doctor came into the room and he placed the cold, lifeless, small body into my arms.

She was BEAUTIFUL. Tanned skinned and raven haired and a heart shaped face. I looked into the face of my dead daughter and felt the world fall away.

Why?

What had I done to deserve this?

Had I been a serial killer in a past life?

Was I being punished?

"Miss Swan we had to preform emergency surgery to try and save the baby." The doctor was saying, "There was a complication, and I'm sorry but you won't be able to have any more children. We had to take it all."

My mind was numb.

First Edward.

Then Jacob.

Then my perfect angel 'Heaven Leigh' I'd named her.

Now I could never have any children.

Life was cruel.

The decision to leave Forks was selfish...

Bella Swan spent her savings traveling across the country. Slowly coming to grips with her losses. Starting over. Starting fresh. Trying her best not to dwell on what she had lost.

She had lost two loves.

Two families.

It was in Detroit when Victoria finally caught up with her. Always having been two steps behind.

She wanted vengeance for James' death.

"I've been watching you for almost two years." she had hissed, "Your death will bring me much joy."

"Kill me." Bella told her defiantly, "Do it and be done with it."

"I want you to suffer." Victoria had countered her flaming hair frizzed and eyes wild.

"Suffer?" Bella scoffed, "Edward left me. He didn't want me. I moved on and he didn't want me either. I lost my CHILD." she was screaming by the end.

The careful facade she had built around herself crumbled. Bella Swan collapsed at Victoria's feet. Tears streaming down her anguished face.

"I'm sorry about James. He should have killed me. It would have saved me. There was no reason for him to die. I wasn't worth it. I'm not worth it. I'm nothing. Please kill me and save me from the pain I feel everyday. The pain of being unloved. Unwanted. Fitting in no where. With no one. Kill me. Kill me." Bella begged.

For the first time in years Victoria felt something other than blood lust and anger. She almost felt pity for the pathetic creature at her feet. She grabbed the girl and took off at a run. All Bella could pray was that it was almost over.

They entered an abandoned building on the west side and Victoria sat her down. Pacing back and forth and murmuring to herself.

"I will not kill you." Victoria stated with measured control. "I will change you."

And for the next 70 years Bella Swan existed. She traveled the world. Not taking in any beauty or joy. She existed with her painful memories. Slowly everyone she ever knew began to die.

Renee.

Phil.

Charlie.

Jake...

Jake died an old man surrounded by his children and grand children. Happy.

While Bella existed in her own kind of hell...

She met others along the way.

Garrett.

Peter and his mate Charlotte.

She never gave her name. But took comfort in knowing she was not alone.

It was time for her to stop wallowing in self pity. For her to embrace her life.

So she moved back to where it all began and enrolled herself at Forks high school. She had to start somewhere. And being a senior she could finally finish high school where it all began. Where she would never be far from Heaven Leigh. She could have her daughter spirit watching over her.

It was only the beginning.

A/N

This is probably the longest prologue I've ever written. But I needed to make it clear. Everything that Bella has been through. What causes her to be the way she is. Why she isn't the same. I hope you've enjoyed. :) Please R&R I genuinely want to know what you think. Questions? Comments? Constructive Criticism?

Thanks!

Tabby