A/N: I got this idea while I was working on other stories for younger versions of my kids. This one is a natural fit and I loved writing it. I hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: Lorre, Prady and me
The Word Choice Paradigm
The guys were all siting down at their lunch table. "Armand has found a new past time; throwing my sweater vests into the bath tub and filling it with water" said Raj.
"Why would he do that" asked Leonard, opening his water bottle.
Raj shrugged "I don't know, maybe he likes how they absorb all that water. Emily ended up duct taping the shower curtain and locking our closet door, so he'll stop".
"I'm glad James and Melody are past that toddler stage, it was horrid," said Sheldon with a shudder.
"Just wait until they're teenagers, they'll be a handful" said Howard.
"How would you know, Katherine's younger than them" said Sheldon.
"I remember my years of adolescent like it was yesterday" defended Howard.
Leonard's phone went off in his pocket. He frowned at the number and answered it "Dr. Hofstader... Yes I'm his father... He's where?... Okaay... I understand I'll be right there... Bye".
"What was that about" asked Sheldon.
Leonard stared at his phone, confused "Henry got sent to the principal's office".
"He's only a kindergartener, what could he have done" asked Raj.
"I don't know, they just said that I should come" said Leonard.
"I got suspended a day for trying to kiss Pamela Devonmire" said Howard.
"Whatever, I have to go. Penny's working, so I have to go sort this out" said Leonard.
-o-O-o-
Leonard walked into the principal's office to see the back of his young boy's head. "Dr. Hofstader, it's nice to meet you" said the principal.
Leonard took a quick glance at her name on her desk. "You too, Mrs. Anderson". Leonard sat down in a chair besides Henry. "So, what exactly did he do to get sent down here".
"Your son called another child some... names that are not appropriate for his age range or anyone else," said Mrs. Anderson.
"That's a little vague, that could be anything from 'stupid' to 'butt head'. What exactly did he say" asked Leonard.
"He told the other student... 'To go to hell, the rat bastard'" said Mrs. Anderson uncomfortably.
"He knocked down my block rep-re-sen-tat-ion of the large-hadron collider," shouted Henry, talking for the first time since Leonard had come into the office.
"Yes, well, our school doesn't tolerate that kind of behavior. We are suspending him for the rest of the day, he can come back tomorrow. Your son may be precocious, Dr. Hofstader, but that doesn't mean he can get away with stunts like this" said Mrs. Anderson sternly.
"I understand. I'll make sure nothing like this happens again" said Leonard.
"I'll be seeing you tomorrow, Henry" said Mrs. Anderson.
-o-O-o-
Leonard looked in the review mirror and saw his son pouting in his car seat "I know I'm going to regret asking this, but where did you hear that"
"Mommy said it to the guy that was talking to her when you were right there" explained Henry.
"Henry, there are some words that adults say that we shouldn't and that kids should definitely not say" explained Leonard.
"Then why do you still say them" said Henry.
Leonard sighed and looked towards the top of the car with a look he normally reserved for his mother. "I really don't know."
-o-O-o-
"Hi, pop tart. I'm home" shouted Penny as she came in.
Leonard gave her a quick kiss. "How was your day?"
"Great. We finished reading through the script and were going to start blocking Friday. How was your day" asked Penny.
"Henry got sent to the principal's office" said Leonard.
"What did he do" asked Penny, puzzled.
"Not necessarily what he did, but said" said Leonard.
"Then what did he say" asked penny.
"Remember when that guy was hitting on you hard and I was right there and you told him to-".
"Go to hell, the rat bastard. Henry told a kid at school that?" She asked.
"Yep, because they knocked down his block representation of the large-hadron collider" finished Leonard.
"I think he just showed equal parts of us" said penny.
"Yes, he's really ours" said Leonard.
"Can I come out of my room now," yelled Henry from his room.
"Yes, I think you learned your lesson" said Leonard. Henry came out of his room and smiled at his parents with a toothy grin. Leonard leaned down to his son's level and placed his hands on his shoulders. "Now, you know why you can't say what you said again, right?"
Henry shook his head and his floppy curls bounced up and down. "Un huh, only adults like mommy and you can say it, but only if you're really, really, really, really-"
"Okay, not exactly that. Adults really shouldn't say it, but sometimes it comes out," explained Leonard cutting off his son's 'really' exaggeration.
"Have you ever said it, Daddy," asked Henry innocently.
Leonard look over Henry's shoulder and saw Penny pouring a glass of orange juice with a bemused look on her face. "No, because I have never found a reason too."
"Okay, can I watch Doctor Who now?"
Leonard stood up and ruffled his young son's hair. "Sure, why not."
Henry ran over to the couch and plopped onto it. He found a remote and soon the electric beat from the Doctor Who opening theme filled the apartment. Leonard walked over to Penny in the kitchen and wrapped his arms around her basis. She smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "You do know you just lied to your son right."
"No, I have never said those words, in that order. In theory, I didn't," defended Leonard.
Penny smiled. "You sound like your mom."
Leonard quickly dropped his hands from around Penny's waist and gave her a look. "No, I can not be turning into my mother."
Penny laughed and gave him a quick kiss. "I was just joking."
"You know you can't joke about stuff like that; it's serious," he smiled and gave her a quick kiss, "besides that would mean you married my mother."
"NO," shouted Penny in horror.
"Come on, let's join Henry on the couch. My mom would never do that," suggested Leonard.
"I love you," replied Penny.
"She wouldn't have said that either."
Penny rolled her eyes and sat down on Leonard's lap and the Hofstader clan watched the Doctor traipse around in a bow tie while saving the world.