I do not own nor profit from Star Trek or Gene Roddenberrys creations

A/N: This is just a one shot (for now) that I thought about. I don't know how many C. Pike stories there are, but, oh well, I'll just add one more.

Main Character: Iona Calloway (pronounced like Fiona, but without the F)

There are always things that we wish we could have done differently in our lives. At least that's what Iona learned. Had she known that shortly after her return from Niburu she would lose the love of her life, she probably would have told him sooner how much he meant to her.

Iona met Admiral Christopher Pike when she cared for him after his rescue from the Narada. Well, she had known him well before that point, but she never truly met him until he was under her care. Chris was good and well beaten up, with Jim and Bones fretting over him. His leg was battered, and he was reeling from the effects of the Centaurian Slug. But through his delirium, he was still able to make out the gentle face of Iona.

She was standing beside the doctor holding some equipment. A few strands of black hair had fallen from her short ponytail, as her honey eyes looked into his own blue ones. Her full lips smiled at him reassuringly, as her hand reached down to gently touch his shoulder.

"Don't worry Captain, you will be alright now. We will take good care of you." Her voice put him on cloud nine. How could he not have ever noticed her on the ship before? "I'm Iona, I'll be here with you tonight." She smiled before going back to her work with the doctor. He fell asleep from there, succumbing to the fatigue he hadn't realized he had been feeling.

When he awoke, the lights were dim, and there sat Iona, her legs crossed, reading something on her padd. Her ponytail was gone, her hair falling forward to cover her face. He groaned, lifting his head to look at her.

"Sir, how are you feeling?" She set the padd aside, standing up, running her fingers through his light brown and graying hair.

"Like I've been hit by a shuttle." He groaned, resting his head back.

"Well, go ahead and rest your head. Those slugs are literally a real pain." She smiled softly.

"What's happening?" He questioned.

"Well, your leg is broken pretty badly, and the toxins from the slug are starting to wear off." She looked over the padd. Her graceful fingers danced over the screen, looking through his record. "What is your pain level right now?" She asked looking up.

"I don't know if there is a number." He frowned.

"I'll go ahead and give you some more pain meds. You are due for some anyways." She turned to the drawer. Chris turned his head painfully in time to see her bend over to look through a lower cupboard. Even in his pain, he could see how rotund her bottom was. When she stood, he could see her feminine figure. She loaded the hypo and administered it as Chris winced.

Soon enough he didn't even feel anything. He could barely feel her hands changing his bandages. He moaned, the thoughts running through his head, feeling her hand brushing against his inner thigh. The heat rose in his cheeks as he felt himself get harder. It was a glaring erection that he was unable to hide, and he was thankful she said nothing of it. If only he knew the dirty thoughts she had began to think upon seeing him.

"Tell me about yourself?" He said, trying to get his mind off of his erection.

"Well, what would you like to know?" She smiled up at him, as she tightened the bandage a little bit.

"Anything. Where are you from, what do you like, why did you enlist in Star Fleet?" He looked down seeing her pull the blankets back down over his leg.

"Well, I'm from Seattle, I like swimming and reading, and I guess I just wanted to help people. There is only so much you can see and do on the planet. I think it's the excitement of working and exploring at the same time." She charted as she talked.

"Seattle, huh? Emerald City. I went there once for a recruiting detail." He sighed, remembering the salty air of the Puget Sound. "Did you work as a nurse there?"

"For a short time, just to get experience." She replied, her mind going back to home. Not that she missed it, there were some bad memories left there.

They spoke of menial things for the rest of the evening until Chris fell back asleep. Iona's heart did flips as she talked to him. Ever since she was a Cadet, she had her eyes on him. He was older, sure, but there was something about him that drew her in. He was mature, he seemed attentive, and he had a crux about him that commanded respect. She fell for him like a cement sack of potatoes. Anytime she was able to see him at the Academy, she blushed happily. Of course, she was just another cadet to him, and of all the times was easily overlooked.

She sighed, sitting back in her chair, watching the Captain sleep off his medication. They would return to Earth soon, and everything would go back the way it was before.

Iona was near the end of her shift when she received a visitor. A sharp rap on the door caught her attention as she was in a room charting.

"Captain, how are you doing?" She looked up, seeing Chris limping in with his cane.

"It's Admiral now, and I am doing very well, thanks to you." He gave her a soft smile. It had been a few weeks since they got back, and was only not being able to see her.

"Well, congratulations Admiral." She returned the expression. "What brings you down here?" She signed a note as she talked.

"I just wanted to come by and see how you are doing?" He lied. Really he had been dying to see his angel of mercy. She had been on his mind ever since he was taken off of the Enterprise. The way she felt, the way she sounded, the way her beautiful eyes looked at him. He was aching, dying, to see her again.

"Well, I am quite well, thank you sir." She spoke shakily, her stomach fluttering wildly. "I've just been here at the base hospital working." She gestured to the room around her.

"I see that. So, I was wondering, can I take you for a drink?" He straightened up dignified, looking for an answer. "I mean, as a thank you." He added, trying to sweeten her up, wanting to take away the date element in case she was not interested in him that way.

She pursed her lips, and nodded in thought. "I would love to." She replied happily. "When would be good for you?" She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Tonight around... say, 7?" He shrugged. "Of course, if you are going to be off by then." He breathed out heavily.

"I'll be off in about thirty minutes, once I give report." She smiled, standing up tucking her padd under her arm.

"I'll wait for you then, if you don't mind." He went out to the waiting room to take a seat, his heart pounding in relief.

He was watching the new when Iona appeared in the doorway. Her neck was covered in a thin scarf, accented with a short light blue leather jacket. Her wedge boots made her long legs even longer as they peaked out from under her bootcut jeans. She was a lovely attraction in her casual attire. He had never seen her in her street clothes, and once you've seen one woman in a uniform, you have pretty much seen them all.

"You look very nice." He smiled, using the cane to help pull himself off of the couch. She smiled, pulling her purse up higher on her shoulder.

"Thank you sir. You look quite nice yourself." She tilted her head, and made way for him.

They found a nice quiet bar far from the base. It wasn't too busy, nor was the old school music too loud allowing them to hear one another without yelling. He suggested a booth with the intention of being there for a while, plus with the need to stretch his leg without accidentally tripping anyone. He watched her as she took her jacket off, her v-neck sweater showing just enough of her cleavage to make him wonder. He felt that red was definitely her color as he caught himself staring.

Chris had never had so much to say to someone before. She kept him engaged in conversation through the night. Her laughter was infectious, and her eyes gleamed in delight.

"Oh, I never thought I would find myself here." She giggled, stirring her drink.

"Find yourself where?" He tilted his head inquisitively.

"Here, with you. Out." She looked around. They were only among the few patrons lingering about.

"Out...?" He questioned.

"Well, I mean." She stopped, her face getting hot with embarrassment, but it was now or never, and liquid courage was taking effect. "Admiral, I've had a crush on you since the first day I've met you. I always thought about being on a date with you, and I know this isn't a date, don't worry, but, still, I always thought about it." She shook her head, letting her hair hide her face.

"Well, don't worry. It can be a date if you'd like." Chris reached over, grabbing her hand stroking it gently with his thumb. Her head snapped up, her cheeks an even deeper shade of red. He was definitely being that take-charge kind of man that she always pictured him as.

"I would, really like that." She smiled widely. Even if it was just once, or twice perhaps, she would be happy that she had this chance. She laced her fingers with his in utter bliss. Chris had no idea that the night would progress to this. His body had been needing her, but his head had been desiring her. She moved closer to him, as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders so they could keep talking, only a little more intimately.

Pretty soon, they were the only two left in the bar aside from the staff, who had yelled out last call. They were still giggling and laughing like teenagers when they noticed. "Looks like we've shut the place down." Chris smirked at her.

"Looks like it. Are you ready to go?" She looked up at him, a little saddened the night was having to end so soon.

"Not entirely, but, we can go somewhere else." He bobbed his head, pondering where else they could go at this hour. "Any ideas?"

"My place?" She winked jokingly.

"Can't. But there is a hotel nearby." He cocked his brow enticingly. Iona went quiet, biting her lip. She weighed her options. Go home alone and sleep, or go to a hotel with this gorgeous man she has wanted for years, and have comfort until they parted in the morning?

"Deal." She confirmed, nearly catching him off guard. He felt like he was playing a game of bluffs, just waiting to see who would cave first. It didn't look like she was going to lose her resolve anytime soon.

"But, can you do this without regret?" He questioned. She bit her lip and nodded, just wanting to be with him right then and there.

They walked, or stumbled, to the hotel that was across the street and checked in. The room was nice on the top floor. It was modern with a plush platform bed. She pulled him in by the hand smiling as she looked around the room. They could see the city lights and skyline of San Francisco in the distance. "This is quite nice sir." She turned to him as he sat on the edge of the bed rubbing his leg.

"Well, I'm glad you like it. I wanted the top floor, I thought you'd like the view." He winced.

"Here, let me help with that." She smiled. Her fingers delicately undid his pants, pulling them off before she massaged his thigh as he laid back.

"That feels amazing." He sighed, feeling the cramp diminishing rapidly.

"It should. I am a nurse after all, I have that touch." She spoke seductively. As she worked his thigh, she could see him growing once again, pushing against his boxers. He undid his shirt while she massaged him. He was a very fit body for a man of his age, she noticed. His chest wasn't extremely hairy, but it wasn't bald either. Just enough.

"Come up here." He commanded, reaching down for her. She complied, sliding up next to his side. His arm wrapped around her waist, moving her to sit atop his hips. She could feel his length underneath of her, as she reflexively began to grind into him. Chris moaned, rubbing her sides, his hands working their way up her shirt. His touch was warm and firm, like a man who knew what he wanted. He was trying to savor his time with this gorgeous young woman that chose him.

"You realize, that this is against the rules." He moaned, feeling himself ache.

"I understand sir." She whispered. She gasped as his thumbs brushed over her nipples.

"You realize that we could both get into trouble for this?"

"Yes sir."

"You realize when we are together, like this, you call me Chris, right?" He looked into her eyes with a smirk.

"Yes... Sir." She smirked back playfully. She brought her hands up, removing her shirt so that he could have a better look at her body.

"So beautiful." He muttered taking her in. As an Admiral, he knew he was wrong. But as a man, who had needs that had long been unattended, everything felt right. She leaned down, pressing her bosom against his. Their eyes locked momentarily before she glanced down to his lips. With little thought, he brought his head up, and took her lips with his. The electricity in their kiss was like standing in the middle of an intense lightning storm. Chris moaned from the feeling of her lips on his, his fingers releasing her bra from around her back, letting the straps fall down her shoulders.

"Chris..." She whispered against his lips.

"Yeah?" He didn't want to pull away from her lips just yet, lost in her kiss. She deepened their kiss, as he wrapped his arms around her hips, pulling her down in a heated furvor. The feel of her warm smooth skin against his stomach and chest sent his body adrift on waves of pleasure.

"I'm glad you're here." She kissed him again. He couldn't agree more. Especially when she stood up, and began to slowly remove her jeans, tantalizing him as her hips rolled. She was just in her panties and boots now, seductively crawling back up his body. His hands massaged her breasts tenderly, an ache building in him again. He wanted to be in her already, but she was taking her time. As soon as she removed his boxers freeing his length, he knew it wouldn't be long.

She looked upon the well endowed man, her pupils dilating, and her heart racing. She had never been with someone with so much to give, to put it delicately. "Don't worry. I'll be gentle." Chris propped himself up on his elbows, seeing her eyes widen at his length and girth.

"I hope so." She said shyly.

"Here, let me help you." He rolled over, pushing her down onto the bed. Her chest began to puff as soon as he positioned himself between her knees, his lips kissing and nipping at the thin fabric of her panties. She was delicious, and he wanted more. Her knees came up and her fingers gripped his hair, her moans filling the room. As he moaned, the vibrations sent her sensitive bud on end. He finally relieved her of her panties, as he looked upon her bare apex with renewed hunger. His tongue dipped inside of her before slowly flicking and sucking her bud. He could feel her walls get slick with desire and lust as she moaned his name louder.

She had never felt such amazing oral skills, not that she had extensive experience. However, of all the lovers she had ever had, Chris was able to put her on the edge faster than any man before. He was enjoying tasting her. The way she squirmed under him, how she moaned for him, how she could feel her tighten in pleasure. She arched her back, her clit going into spasms as she reached her orgasm, crying his name, her eyes wide open in disbelief. He only let her recover for mere seconds before she felt his tip entering her. She was on her elbows, watching him enter her, moaning as she felt him go deeper, pull out and go deeper still, letting himself get well lubricated from her.

Chris felt his spine tingle as she clenched around him. He had not been with a woman in so long, he forgot how amazing it felt. As soon as he felt he was all the way in, he began a stead pace, unsure of how long he would actually be able to hold off after so long without sex. His lips came down, kissing and nipping at her pulse point on her neck, sending shivers down her spine. She was beautiful under him accepting his passion, moaning, sweating, her lips swollen from their fierce kisses, her nipples hardened in desire. Before she could climax once more, he came, spilling his seed into her with a ferocious groan, but he kept pumping, still hard and wanting her to finish as well. It didn't take long to send her back over, as she felt the heat of his release.

This was only the first encounter of the first night. Their clandestine relationship grew from there, as they regularly met up. Sometimes just for a heated row of sex, other times just to talk, but most of the time, it was a mix of the two that they felt a relationship should be. The longer they went out, the bolder they got as they began to meet at each others homes, or sometimes catching kisses in an elevator. A few times Chris had to maintain his composure, seeing her short uniform sway across her thighs as she stood in his office. He would have happily taken her on his desk, but with the coming and going of various personnel, it would have been too risky.

Before she left for Nibiru, their visits became almost daily. She had long realized she was in love with him. He held her in his bed, kissing her neck and breasts, relishing her body. She was going to have to get up to leave for the Enterprise soon, so she took the opportunity, knowing that returning from a mission was never guarenteed.

"Chris." She turned her head to him, stroking his arm. He grunted a response, as his lips kissed and sucked on her shoulder. "I need to tell you." She sighed, hoping he would understand.

"What is it?" He looked up at her with his blue eyes, his hair messed up from their encounter. She made sure his body had been well loved that night.

"I... I love you, Chris. I know we haven't been together long, but, I know that I have felt this way about you for a long time. I've cared about you so much, for years. And I wish I would have approached you sooner, but, these last few months have only served to bolster those feelings that I already knew I had." She breathed. Chris looked up at her, before sitting up in bed.

"I don't know what to say." He shook his head. He had been a bachelor for so long, he wasn't sure about anything very serious. He cared about her, he knew that, but did he love her? Was he ready to tell her that? He shook his head again. "I wish I would have noticed you sooner. Perhaps things would be different today." He offered.

"It's alright. I understand." She smiled, trying not to let her disappointment and emotions show.

"Iona, it isn't like that, it's just, I'm not sure where I'm at on this. You don't have to go." He looked over at her as she got up.

"Chris, it's alright. I'm not going to push you for a response." She smiled sadly. "But I have to get ready to go. Nibiru, remember?" She arched a brow.

She was happy to be out of his apartment, away from his gaze. The embarrassment that she felt in that moment was astounding. She hadn't meant to put him on the spot, but now she felt like a stupid silly little girl. Iona let her tears fall quickly before she had to depart for her mission.

Coming back from Nibiru was hard. She wasn't sure how to handle the Admiral now that he knew how she felt. It was something she dreaded. Perhaps he would cast her aside feeling that she pushed too far? Maybe he would just not return the feelings, and still they would have a relationship of convenience with no hope for a future. Sadly, she probably would have stayed either way, as long as she was with him. To her relief, and much to her chagrin, she didn't see him at all when they got back. 'Busy with the debriefing no doubt.' She thought.

She had caught a glimpse of him in his office, busy with what appeared to be paperwork, and so chose not to face him there. He didn't need her hovering over him while he worked. It wasn't until she saw him walking past her apartment that they talked. She was just walking back from the gym herself when they saw one another. Luckily under the shadow of night, they had some privacy.

"Good evening Sir." She nodded.

"Evening. Look, Iona, we need to talk." He stopped, resting his weight more on his cane. He felt bad about how they had left things.

"Well, you can come up if you'd like." She nodded towards the door of her apartment. He looked around and walked towards her apartment with her. As soon as they got into the building he stopped and moved towards the corner away from the eyes of the street, taking her with him. His lips came crashing down on hers. He missed her lips, tasting her. The electricity was still there, like a snap of lightning, as if it were their first kiss again.

"I can't come up. Emergency meeting. I need to go. I just had to give you a kiss." He didn't mean to rush, but it was urgent that he needed to leave. He opened up the door and was halfway out when she spoke her 'I love you's.' He could only nod in response and carry on as if he had heard nothing. He could not risk other people hearing with the door open.

That was the last time Iona ever saw him. Not until his funeral anyways. The following morning, seeing his face on the tv as being a casualty of an attack, Iona sunk to the floor. She held a pillow to her chest, crying into it. All the air was taken out of her lungs as she looked up, seeing his beautiful sparkling eyes, his bright smile. The aerial images showing the devastation of the Daystrom room next to his picture broke her. There on the floor, she stayed until she felt sick. The emotional distress was beginning to take a physical toll on her. A part of her refused to believe it, that nothing could happen to her sweetheart. But the other part of her knew that time was not guaranteed to them.

Her door buzzed, but she had no desire to answer it. Whoever it was, was not interested in just giving up at one or two rings. They spent three minutes ringing before she finally shuffled over to open it.

"Commander Spock, how man I help you?" She had done a poor job as masking her grief. He was there looking as trim and formal as ever.

"May I step in Ms. Calloway?" He asked shortly, his hands behind his back. She stepped aside for him to enter. He took no time to reveal the purpose of his visit.

"Ms. Calloway, I understand that you were in a relationship with the Admiral." He spoke bluntly.

"What makes you think that?" She looked up, testing his knowledge of their relationship through tear swollen eyes.

"As the Admiral was dying, I did a mindmeld with him, and I saw it in his memories." He looked at her as she sat down, suddenly feeling very self conscience.

"I wanted you to know what he was thinking in his last moments." He moved closer to her, reaching his hand out to meld with her.

"No, please, Spock. I've heard of the emotional side effects of these mind melds, and my heart can't handle any more. Please." She cried. "Maybe one day, but, please, not right now." She shook her head, her hands trembling as she wrung a tissue anxiously.

"Very well. I will just tell you. The Admiral cared a lot for you, Iona. He would have gladly done it all over again. He felt deep regret that he never told you he loved you, and was saddened that he would not be able to tell you now." He stood up straighter, trying to be a proper messenger.

"He- he loved me?" She squeaked out, confirming the message.

"Very much so. It would seem his intention was to return to you after the meeting to tell you properly, more formally of his feelings, not in some dark corner. Unless you would prefer to go, I will inform the captain that you are unable to perform your duties on this particular mission." Spock looked at her.

"Yes, I would prefer to grieve, please." She spoke quietly, hanging her head.

"Very well." Spock dismissed himself. Upon hearing of their intimate relationship, Jim understood her absence from the ship. It was not something he was interested in reporting, nor was Spock, not wanting to taint the Admirals good name with a consensual relationship.

Iona was left alone in her misery. She replayed the last years of her life. How many times could she had approached Chris? How many opportunities presented themselves to her where she could have asked him to dinner or a drink? Would he still have accepted the offer? Would he have asked her out? The pain in her chest grew as she tormented herself with her own thoughts.

It would take a long time before Iona felt anything near normal again. She kept an emptiness in her heart, not willing to allow another in to fill that hole that the Admiral had left when he died. Feigned happiness became her specialty, sorrow being only for behind closed doors when she could look upon a picture of her and Chris, and remember why her heart ached so. She would never let herself forget. Not the Admiral. Not him.

A/N: Okay, sorry I just had some brain goo that needed to get out, so I thought I'd write this up real quick. I'm tired, gotta work, hope the ending wasn't THAT horrible. R/R if you can, always appreciated! Night y'all!