Disclaimer: I do not own CSI :(
AN: OOC and major fluff warning! Now edited and beta readed thanks to Rhee!
Summary: Sara gives Grissom an ultimatu, after she finds out about his dinner with Sofia; post 5x14
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last Chance
He knew she wanted an answer. But what should he tell her? That he needed her? He could never do that! He could never risk this.
She sat in the chair in front of his desk. She stared at him; her anger, pain and even jealousy were reflected in her eyes.
"Grissom this is your last chance," she repeated what she had told him before.
Grissom wished the past ten minutes would be a nightmare. Sara had entered his office, he had felt that something had been wrong and when she had told him that she wanted to leave the lab, that she wanted to leave NOW, that she couldn't take it anymore and that he couldn't imagine how much he hurt her with dating Sophia.
"Sara. Please. I don't understand what your problem is, we only had dinner." He tried to defend himself.
"Funny. When I asked you to have dinner with me you said you couldn't do it. You said you did not know what to do about it, seems as if you knew very well what to do about it when it comes to Sophia," she said angry. "Grissom…I thought, after I told you my darkest, my most horrible secret. I thought you would have realized how much you mean to me. I thought…I thought that there was more between us. I… just don't understand why you're doing this to me; I know what you feel for me. So stop pretending that you don't, that you're not attracted to me. I felt it when you held my hand. Why, why are you destroying everything?" She said crying. She wished he'd reach for her hand, she wished he'd do something to comfort her, but he just sat there, staring at her, staring at her in a way she couldn't take, this drove her crazy, he drove her crazy, leaving was the best thing she could do. Leaving the lab, leaving her life in Vegas, leaving him behind was maybe the only chance she had to safe herself from falling into even deeper depression than the one she was already in.
"Sara, I did not mean to destroy something that…" If he now says that he never meant to destroy something that never existed I'm going to kill him! She thought by herself, hoping the best and expecting the worst. "…Something that, something…. I…. Sara, I never meant to hurt you."
"Then you failed. Not only once," she left the chair and walked over to the door, stopping when she had reached it. "If you're not signing my leave I'll have to quit."
"Sara..."
Don't say the lab needs me! Please don't say that! She thought, wishing she had been more religious, wishing she could pray to God without feeling sorry for not having prayed or done some other worshipping in the last ten years.
"I don't want you to leave," He finally confessed after a long moment of uncomfortable silence.
She couldn't remember if she had ever felt as relieved. Had he finally realized that she was serious about leaving if he wasn't going to tell her what he felt?
"I need you here. I need you by my side."
It's getting better and better. Tension started to rise up between them, but it didn't feel uncomfortable anymore now.
"Grissom, sending me a plant won't help this time. You know what I want you to tell me," she said softly.
Grissom nodded, he left his chair and walked over to her, closing the door and placed himself in front of it to be sure she wouldn't be able to leave the room as long as he wanted her to stay. He wanted to run away, the way he had always used to solve his problems with her, but he knew that if he'd run away this time he'd loose her for sure.
"Sara, she means nothing to me. Honestly. I wouldn't have been able to ask her out for dinner if I'd feel attracted to her," He tried to meet her gaze with his, hoping she'd understand what he meant. "Why do you think I never asked you out for dinner? I wasn't able to do it because I…I'm horribly bad at showing my feelings and I'm even worst in accepting and allowing those feelings to myself. But I know that you deserve an explanation, you deserve to know how much you mean to me," he told her softly, and then he placed his hand on her cheek, wiping away her tears with his thumb. "I need you Sara. I….somehow I think that I…. I think that I…. I love you."
Sara felt this knot in her throat growing bigger and bigger, her heart beat faster and faster and she almost forgot to breath. "Are you just telling me this to make me stay or…?"
A soft smile flashed over his lips. "Sara, you can't imagine how much courage it costs me to tell you that I love you. I could never say this if I'd not honestly mean it."
"But you could date Sophia… without honestly loving her…" She didn't know what to think.
Grissom sighed. He should have known that she wouldn't forgive him that easily.
"You know what Grissom, I will stay… but… don't think that…don't think I wouldn't despise you," she said with an unfamiliar cold, but also pain filled voice.
"Despise me?" Grissom asked unbelieving.
"Don't think I would forgive you…don't think I'll forget about it only because you said these three 'magic words'. Don't think I can forgive you that fast!" She tried to leave the room, but he held the door closed. "Let me leave."
"No Sara," his voice sounded just like it had sounded in her apartment the other day, he thought that these words would maybe let her melt away, he hoped it.
"Grissom! Let me leave. That's harassment."
Grissom sighed, then stepped aside, watching her leave his office, hoping she'd return, hoping she'd once be able to forgive him and hoping that one morning he'd wake up with his arms twined around her.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE END
