Note: I don't own Hogan's Heroes, although I wish I did. This is my first story, please review. Be nice, though. :)
Special thanks to Sgt. Moffit, for pointing out my spelling errors in Chapter 1, and also to Belphegor, who helped me revise the last couple of paragraphs in Chapter 2.
Hogan walked briskly up to Kinch, who was washing the visiting Gestapo General's car with Newkirk.
"Did you plant the bomb?" Hogan asked, quietly as there were several guards standing nearby watching them work.
"You bet we did, boy―uh, sir," Carter said, as he climbed out of the back seat.
Kinch nodded. "It's there and ticking away."
"Good," Hogan said. "This is one of the many Gestapo Generals we don't need anymore."
"What's the reason we need to knock him off, Colonel?" Carter asked, closing the door.
"The Guv'nor told you earlier, Carter. Don't you remember?" Newkirk asked.
"Maybe you could refresh my memory, Colonel," Carter said, looking at Hogan.
Hogan sighed. "This General Hoffman has information about most of the underground units within this area. He doesn't have the information about us yet, but trust me, he'll get it."
"Why kill him? Why couldn't we just capture him and get him to England?" Carter still didn't like the idea of killing someone.
"Because he's got almost every guard in the Gestapo with him. It's too dangerous to try to capture him. Furthermore, his aide might know, too, so we'll kill two Krauts with one bomb, and when the bomb blows, we'll get him too. I don't like this any more than you do, Carter, but we can't let him get this information to Hitler or Himmler."
Carter nodded reluctantly and the four grabbed their buckets and trooped back to the barracks.
A few minutes later, Klink, the Gestapo General, his aide, and about six guards came out of the outer office.
"Are you sure you must go, Herr General?" Klink asked, a few steps behind the General.
"Dummkopf! Of course I must go! The Führer und Herr Himmler are waiting for me in Berlin!" General Hoffman shouted.
At the mention of Hitler and Himmler, Klink stiffened and stood straighter. "Well, you mustn't be late at a meeting with the Führer!" he said cheerily.
Hoffman shot Klink dark look and Klink's smile faded.
Upon reaching the General's staff car, Hoffman frowned at seeing mud streaked across the side of the car.
"Where did THAT come from?"
The General's aide responded. "We drove through it on the way here, Herr General."
"I thought I ordered Colonel Tink to tell his prisoners to wash the car." He turned to Klink. "Did you tell your prisoners to wash my car, Klack?"
"It's Klink. And yes, Herr General, I did tell my prisoners to wash the car." Klink saw Hogan and his men standing outside of their barracks and shot them a dark glare.
Hoffman's aide walked to the other side of the car. "It's clean over here, Herr General."
"Those Dummkopfs! That's how they do a job? Flack, you will see to it that those prisoners are properly punished! How do you expect me to face the Fuehrer und Herr Himmler with that car?" Hoffman turned to Klink. "Flink, I will take your staff car."
Klink looked peeved. "But, General Hoffman, I was going to go into town later..." he trailed off as he saw the General give him another dark look.
"Unless you would like to drive yourself into town and buy yourself a pair of earmuffs then come back and prepare for a trip eastward, Flick."
"Earmuffs. Eastward. Yes," Klink gave a nervous laugh. "Of course you may have my car, Herr General."
"Danke, Fink," Hoffman said sarcastically.
"It's Klink."
"And if you're that desperate to get to town, I'll leave this car here for you and YOU can drive to town in a muddy staff car," Hoffman gruffly proposed.
Needless to say, Klink accepted the General's offer.
Hogan and his men were watching from outside of Barracks 2, out of earshot but getting a little puzzled when Hoffman just stood arguing with Klink and his aide instead of getting into his staff car.
But when they saw Klink send Schultz to get Klink's staff car, they figured out why.
"Cor, Blimey. We forgot to wash the other side of the car!" Newkirk realized.
Hogan slapped his palm to his forehead. How could they have been so forgetful?
Carter turned to Hogan. "What now?"
Hogan sighed for the second time that day. "Only thing we can do. Contact the underground and have them send a few units out to take care of Hoffman and his men. I don't like to do that, as it'll put all those underground units in danger, but it's the only thing we can do. We can't have Hoffman get that information to Hitler or any of the gang up there in Berlin."
"Two questions, Colonel," LeBeau spoke up.
"Yes, LeBeau?"
"Why does Hoffman have to get that information to the High Command before he arrests those underground units and why didn't he do it over the telephone?" LeBeau asked, curious.
"He has to get permission from Old Scramble Brains and Himmler before he can arrest them. I don't know why he didn't want to do it over the phone, maybe security reasons," Hogan paused as he saw Hoffman drive out the gates in Klink's staff car.
"Kinch, radio the underground, tell them what I told you," he finished.
Right, Colonel," Kinch disappeared inside.
"Colonel, what about that time bomb inside of Hoffman's staff car? It's going to blow in ten minutes!" Carter informed Hogan.
"Oui, and this whole side of camp with it," LeBeau added.
"I know. We've got ten... no, nine minutes and thirty seconds to get Klink to let us finish the wash job and then Carter can get that bomb," Hogan said, looking at his watch.
"Yes sir-Oh, no, Colonel, look!" Carter pointed at the staff car.
Klink was halfway out of the gate in it, heading for town and doomed for death with nine minutes until boom time.