Hello my lovelies!!  I want to thank everyone for their reviews for my other fics!!  Newsies and pie to all! :-)

Disclaimer: I own my Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack (which I LOVE), my Master and Commander ticket stub, my Sunny D, and my marching shoes.  I do not own Newsies.

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"Specs, are you awake?" Dutchy asked, his voice barely a whisper.

The bunkroom was quiet save for the snores coming from the sleeping newsboys. Light from the streets gave the room a soft, rather eerie glow as the night wore on. Dutchy had been lying awake for well over an hour and had been about to fall asleep again when he saw a movement on the bunk next to his.

"Specs?" He asked again, a little louder this time.

The brunette rolled onto his back and drew a long shaky breath, "What's wrong Dutch?" He asked, his voice weak.

"Are you okay?" Dutchy asked, noting his friend's voice.

"I'm fine, did you need something?" Specs asked, slightly agitated, and not wanting to share his problems with the other boy.

He was answered with silence and he was about to pull on his glasses to look over there when he felt Dutchy sit next to him.

"Why were you crying?" Dutchy asked, as he traced the trails the tears had left on Specs' cheeks.

"I wasn't crying." He protested vehemently, sitting up. "I....there was some thing in my eyes."

Dutchy looked over at him, his face showing that he didn't believe that at all. "Okay..."

"I wasn't. I don't cry." He said firmly, fresh tears forming in his eyes.

Dutchy made a face at the absurdity of the statement, but as he thought about it he realized with a shock that it was true. Specs never cried. Through everything they had been through he never cried. Not once.

"Specs..." He said, not quite sure what to say as the tears began to fall.

"There's no crying...." He whispered wiping furiously at his eyes. "There's no crying in this city."

Dutchy looked at him, confused by his words and worried at the tears. He didn't know what was wrong and he didn't know how to comfort him. He moved to rub his back when Specs jerked away violently.

"No. I'm sorry." He said, slowly moving away after putting on his glasses.

Dutchy looked around as some of the newsies woke up. "Shh, it's okay." He said trying to soothe him.

"Don't." Specs said as Dutchy got closer. "Please don't hit me."

Dutchy stared at him with confusion. Why on earth would Specs think that he would hit him? "Specs, I'm not gonna hurt you."

Quite a few of the other boys were awake by this time and some of them were asking what was wrong. Dutchy ignored them, and Specs seemed oblivious.

"I'll stop crying I promise. Please don't hit me." Specs said when Dutchy had him backed into the corner.

"Specs, I'm not gonna hit you." He said stopping in front of the cowering brunette.

Specs didn't hear him and curled himself into a ball to protect himself from the blows he was certain were coming. Dutchy crouched down and stared at him, not sure what would be the best thing to do.

"Dutchy what's going on here?" Jack asked commandingly, though his voice was still laced with sleep.

"Please just ignore us." Dutchy answered softly, not looking away from Specs' figure.

"If you two'd shut up we could ignore ya, but as it is we're all awake and want to know what's wrong." Jack said. He was annoyed at having his sleep time cut short and wasn't in the mood to be understanding.

"Jack, maybe..." Mush started, but cut off with a sharp look from the taller boy.

Dutchy sighed at the exchange, knowing he had to get Specs to leave the room. A difficult task to complete without upsetting him.

"Dutchy!" Jack said firmly and rather loudly.

"Jack!" Dutchy mimicked, angrily standing to face the angry boy. "I don't know whats wrong. If you'd shut up maybe I could find out help him."

With that he turned back towards Specs who was now shaking, the loud voices having bothered him even more.

Jack stared at the blonde boy with a mixed look of shock and anger.

"Jack, leave them alone. You aren't helping." Race said sleepily from his bed.

He knew that though. He was just in a bad mood and felt like taking it out on someone else.

"Specs, I promise I won't hurt you. Jack won't either." Dutchy said softly to the shaking boy.

Jack sighed angrily, but went back to his bunk. There were still a few hours till they had to be up.

A while later, Dutchy was still sitting in the corner with Specs. He had managed to get closer, but they still weren't touching. The brunette had stopped his shaking, but he was still curled up. He was coming back to his senses and realizing what he had just done.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

Dutchy shook his head, "Don't be sorry."

"I am."

"Okay."

They sat there in silence for a few minutes before Specs started talking softly.

"He...he used to beat me for crying, my father. He said...that there was no crying in this city. That people who cried would get hurt." He laughed bitterly, "He was right I guess."

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault."

"I know."

Silence fell again as they both stared at the other occupants of the bunkroom. Most of the others had fallen back asleep.

"How come you were crying?" Dutchy asked turning to look at his friend.

Specs sighed and turned his eyes to his hands. "Life. Sometimes its too hard for me to take." He took a long breath, " I....I'd never end my life, but I sometimes wish someone or something would do it for me."

Dutchy turned his head sharply and lifted Spec's head. Clear blue eyes met dark brown as Dutchy spoke. "I hope nobody ever does. Please don't wish that."

Specs stared, observing the feelings he saw in those blue eyes. Worry and fear was most prominent, though he saw something else.

"Okay." He finally replied his voice whisper soft.

Life deals you some rotten cards sometimes and it's often hard to play out the hand. Quitting is easy, but some people don't have the strength to continue. With friends to slip you the ace, the game becomes easier.

Dutchy and Specs stayed on the floor for the rest of the night. Leaning on each other for support.

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Yeesh. I don't think I liked that. It was weird and not at all what I expected. It was going to be slash but it didn't turn out that way. Please let me know what you think though!! For you slash lovers...I'm sorry...next time yes? :-)  Please review!!

Much Love,

~*Holiday*~