Wandering Kid

Author's Note: I know I said that Welcome Home would be the end of Fistful of Notes but I've said that before haven't I? Basically I just couldn't leave Crave alone… there's quite a bit I wanted to say about him that I never got around to before so this is his story.

Dedicated to Dacera, for her encouragement and friendship.

He hadn't got too far from the ruins of Amelia's castle when someone had caught him up. He had been alone until then, Shiva having returned to her place in his head, her presence still felt, keeping him warm.

'Sir!' the figure cried out running over to him.

Crave turned wearily, his body tired from the travelling through time, heart heavy with the darkness that surrounded him, soul stained with blood. 'Yes?' he sighed.

'Your weapon sir.' The figure replied, a young man in a torn white SeeD uniform, his blonde hair matted with blood and holding out a gun-blade.

'I'd forgotten…' Crave said dryly taking the weapon and gripping the handle.

It was similar to the Angelo he had lost in the past in that it had an identical handle and gunstock complete with hand guard but the blade was something else, an alloy of Adamantine and the armour of a Red Giant, the blade was a deep red and had a serrated cutting edge on the upper surface whilst a normal straight edge on the lower surface. From the base of the blade where it met the handle two black angel wings flared from the weapon at 45 degree angles to the blade. He had called it the Heartilly in memory of Rinoa Heartilly, the woman whose magic flowed in his blood, as he did all his gun-blades.

'So what now sir?' the SeeD asked nervously as Crave sheathed the weapon against his thigh.

'She's dead, gone… our job is over.' Crave said curtly.

'But what about Garden?' he asked.

'Go back and tell Vine that she's Commander now.' Crave said simply turning from him.

'What about you sir?' he asked tremulously, saluting.

'There's nothing left for me at Garden… I intend to travel, find my own place in the world.' Crave said softly.

'As you say sir…' the SeeD said uncertainly and walked off, heading back to the ships that were docked around the edge of the continent where the Castle had been, the wounded and survivors from the attack and the explosion of the castle embarking for the trip back home to Garden.

The truth was only his job was over, SeeD and Garden had other things to do, care for the poor orphaned children of the world, train them to fight, to protect themselves and the world. Esthar was in turmoil right now, the death of Laguna a couple of years ago leading to a civil war as various factions tried to gain control. Garden was too busy keeping an eye on Amelia to aid any of this, besides there was too many factions, if SeeD helped one no doubt other factions would want it too and so SeeDs would be against SeeDs which was not what his father had wanted.

Now that he had succeeded in killing Seifer and Amelia was gone, he had no reason to go on leading Garden and he couldn't return there because he didn't want to pain his mother, the sight of him reminding her of the man she had lost. She had been the closest to him, his father a distant figure, never really giving him words of advice or encouragement just pushing him to achieve. His father's death had caused her to breakdown, staying in her room weeping and brooding until she closed herself off, even to him and so the violent rage grew and his plan to make sure this never happened, even to the extent where it meant he may cease to exist had formed, but he had failed and so couldn't face her like this. His only companion now was his lover Shiva, the Guardian Force who had once belonged to his father until she had come to him when he was 13, three years ago. He didn't think it strange to be in love with a GF, they too had emotions, feelings, and needs, especially her.

He looked towards the east where he saw his next port of call in the near distance, a rounded forest, the leaves red and brown with decay but hopefully they would still be there for him and then maybe he'd head up into Esthar where he could find a place for himself.

'He said what?' the young woman named Vine cried out as the young male SeeD reported to her.

'Commander Leonhart told me to inform you that you were now Commander and he wasn't returning.' The SeeD replied formally.

'Damn him.' Vine muttered, pouting to herself.

She waved the SeeD away leaving her alone in her office. She didn't want this, being Vice-Commander was too much responsibility as it was. How could she tell Garden what to do? Sure where all the SeeDs feared and usually grudgingly respected Crave, they liked her bubbly personality but he was the cold bastard who was so sure of what was needed to be done… now she would start flapping about in a panic.

Vine started hopping on the spot, her neck length brown hair bouncing as she tried to burn off this nervous energy. Quistis would probably be upset about Crave leaving although she had been locked in her room for so long no one was sure she was even connected to this world anymore. Vine stopped jumping, her cheeks flushed as she sat in what was now her chair and looked at the paperwork that had piled up in the last couple of days… sure she could deal with this but did she want to? She saw what it had done to Squall and she didn't want the life drained out of her… she knew Crave only survived because of the rage that burned inside him, fuelling him.

Well fine Ultimecia was gone so all they needed to do now was heal their wounded and continue teaching for now, the Esthar situation could be sorted out if it got too far out of hand but not before, she didn't want hostilities between Esthar and Garden growing. She spread the papers across the desk and looked at them blankly before getting up.

'Screw this… I'll drag Crave back and let him sort this out, maybe sort him out for dumping it on me' she thought to herself and headed off to her dorm room.

Pale sunlight crept through the diminished foliage, the ground bare where the life had been drained from it. The whole area seemed devoid of life as if Amelia's clutches had reached this far sucking and clawing it all away in her anger and hatred. He needed there to be one of them here, to help him move on before SeeDs came for him.

Numerous clawed footprints scarred the barren earth but they were old and dry, the Chocobos had moved on just like everything else when the monsters had been drawn to the castle. Crave sighed and continued on, there were only mountains in the distance creating an end to the land but he knew what lay beyond them.

'You're determined to do this aren't you?' a soft voice asked him.

'What else can I do?' Crave said softly.

'Whatever you choose to… you say you have no meaning in life now your job is over but that's not true, you're free to do what you want now that's all.' Shiva told him.

'I have something I want to do now…' Crave replied with a smirk.

Shiva blushed inside his head as she read his thoughts. 'Crave!' she cried.

'What?' he said grinning knowing full well what she was talking about.

She had been deprived of all this in her eternity of servitude, watching all the relationships her bearers had for other people without them thinking of her being more than as a guardian, a companion, a tool for battle. His father had been the first to form more than just a "working" relationship with her but nothing like this. Crave had been transfixed by her since the first time he'd met her, summoned by his father in training to show him how it was done before he passed her on to him. Crave had been angered a little by that, how she was passed around as if she was just a weapon with no feelings of the matter. He would never give her up like that, if she wanted to go then she was free to do so, not that he wouldn't be cut up by it if she did, but he wouldn't give her to someone else without asking her how she felt about it or against her will. It wasn't surprising that he fell for her, his relationships with people were not normal due to the circumstances of his life, he knew a lot of people feared his temper but that was what kept him alive.

He loved teasing her with his thoughts of her as she lay inside his head whispering all the while to him.

Shiva stuck her tongue out at him inside his head 'You know exactly what… just what am I going to do with this mind of yours?' she teased.

'Whatever you like, just don't melt on me.' Crave told her suggestively.

Shiva rolled her eyes at him and sent a chill down his spine making him shiver.

Crave laughed to himself and continued on as the mountains grew larger and began to loom ahead of him as he drew closer.