Title: Right Now
Summary: So they will both act like nothing has happened but when it's over, when life has settled back into the norm, she will go to him and they will finally have it out, the way they should have had it out years ago. My take on that oh so under whelming Tiva scene in the woods. (After everything, especially freaking Berlin, calling them "friends" is just ridiculous!)
Rating: K
Disclaimer: Own it? I wish because then I could truly play with Tiva! Yeah, that sounded creepy...
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Friendship.
That is what she called whatever it is that is between them. She paused first though, unsure because damn it, friendship is not enough to describe them. Partnership is not enough either. Neither word is enough, not anymore, not everything they have been through. Not after Somalia. Not after Paris. Not after the elevator. Especially not after Berlin.
Ziva thinks about all this on the drive back, with McGee as a buffer so Tony can not dissect her out loud. Oh but she can see it in his eyes that he knows something is not right with her. With them. And there IS a them.
Even if he agreed at the time, calling them friends and placing a chaste kiss to her forehead, he was doing her a favor and they both know it. He was letting her pretend that all was fine between them because all is not fine with Gibbs, with their family and Ziva can't take much more right now. So they will both act like nothing has happened but when it's over, when life has settled back into the norm, she will go to him because Tony can not put himself out there again, it has to be up to her.
So she will go to him, late one night and they will finally have it out, the way they should have had it out years ago. They will talk quietly and scream harshly, lay blame and take blame. They will leave no moment unspoken of, nothing will be off limits, and in the end they will either walk away with nothing left unsaid or never leave each other again.
Because this cycle, this dance, is killing them both and it needs to end... but not now. Right now she needs him to let her pretend that everything in her life is not falling to pieces. And he will because Tony has always had her back, and right now is no different.
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AN: I feel better now, I worked through my issues with that scene and I think I understand it better now. This is sort of, kind of more from Ziva's POV, so I might do a companion piece more from Tony's POV. Maybe. Idk. Probably not though because this took me forever to actually post, seriously it's been sitting on my computer for weeks.