Disclaimer: I only wish I owned the Mighty Boosh, but it already belongs to two amazing people who need not be named.
This is my first Mighty Boosh fic, please be nice?
The Cookie Jar
No one touched Howard's sacred Cookie Jar, except Howard himself. If anyone touched it, anyone being Vince, the penalty was death. At least that's what the note on the jar said, but Vince decidedly ignored it because, where there was sugary treats, there was Vince lurking near by.
Howard was a bit of a master chef when it came to baking and everyone knew it. He made the best chocolate chip cookies and when their sweet aroma wafted from the oven, it didn't matter how far away he was, Vince always ended up back at the flat, sitting cross-legged on the kitchen floor staring hopefully through the oven door. His big blue eyes would become innocent and childlike as he waited impatiently for Howard to take them out.
"These aren't for you Vince," Howard said one Sunday morning as he pulled the tray of cookies from the oven and set them down on a cooling rack. Vince whimpered sadly and kept his eyes trained on the cookies, "they're for the Jazz club meeting tonight. So if I catch you eating even one of them, I'll come at you like a paper cut."
But Vince didn't hear anything except the thoughts in his head repeating 'cookiescookiescookiescookies.'
Once the cookies had cooled down, Howard deposited them into the sacred cookie jar and left the room. It couldn't have been more perfect. Freshly baked cookies within a meter away and Howard no where in sight. Vince knew he would get in trouble, but he couldn't help himself, as soon as possible, he launched himself at the cookie jar. He swiftly smuggled it back into his room where he sat in the corner, devouring greedily the little slices of heaven that were Howard Moon's cookies.
"Vince!" Howard called an hour later, not long after discovering the cookie jar theft, of course he knew who took it. There was no telling what could happen if he didn't find Vince soon, in fact, he shuddered at the very thought.
"Howard!" Vince exclaimed suddenly appearing in front of him wearing nothing but sparkly electric blue hotpants with a silver trim, brandishing a foam sword in the older mans face. He was on a sugar high. "Excellent cookies! I mean superb! Best ever!"
"Did you eat all my cookies?" Howard was more than just mad, he was furious, he couldn't believe Vince would ignore both his warning and the note that was securely fastened to the side of the jar.
"No," Vince replied, "not all of them." All of a sudden, Vince had a cookie in hand, Howard didn't want to think about where he was hiding it, "I saved it for you," he grinned, obviously pleased with himself. Howard sighed and took the cookie from Vince who was pulling Ninja shapes all over the lounge and swishing his sword all over the place. Howard smiled and made a mental note.
'Make more cookies for Vince.'
I think I just discovered how to bait myself a Vince...
-skips off to lay down various traps with cookies as bait-
Cheers for reading!
Monster
:D