Author's Note: I swear you're going to be wondering what the hell this author is on once you read this fic. I get my cracky ideas from the best of the best: juliagulia1017! I think we feed off of each other when we IM or talk to each other!
Please note that this is not a get together fic, since they're already together. Heh, I wanted to be a little different this time around. Think of it as the sequel for all your SasuHina stories (or most of 'em)! And aren't OOC Sasuke and Hinata always funny?
Summary: (SasuHina) Sasuke and Hinata have to deal with silly revenge plots, lovesick brothers, annoying Hokage-wannabes, a so-called pleasant surprise, and the rest of married life. Preggie Hinata!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Really, it'll be a sad day for most of you when I do.
Dedication: This fic is my gift fic to the person who makes me happy to be me, and at the same time, totally acts like the Mother Hen because I never make up my Chemistry exams! I love you, Jules! You and your weirdo smiley! T3T To this day, I still don't know how that resembles a smooch…
Inspiration: Jules' story Irony of Love. Not saying that Sakura belongs with Pakkun, but she certainly opened my eyes to the way a Sasuke/Hinata relationship should be! I also listened to the songs So Crazy and I Love You by Amuro Namie (Japanese music), Temptation by P-Square (Naija music is love!), and Miss You by M-Flo loves melody. and Yamamoto Ryohei (another Japanese song; I like to think of melody. as Hinata and Ryohei as Sasuke, heh). I'd also say Cleopatra and Anyclub by Lee Hyori (Korean music is yummy!), but I don't want Jules to bore me to death with her tirade about skanks, hos, and sluts. T3T (smooch? XD)
Um, my beta-reader hasn't shown her lovely face for a while. So I might come back with a completely edited version of this later.
And Baby Makes Three?
Chapter 1: Hinata's Problem
It was a sad day in time when the former Hyuuga Hinata was frightened about something as trivial as a missed visit from Aunt Flo. The former heiress (well, we'll get to that in a bit, readers) happened to be very meticulous about her menstruation cycle, and needless to say, the lack of her period on every first week of the month caused her to be very afraid indeed. It was now the second week of the second month in which she'd missed the curse of Eve, and Hinata was downright petrified!
She didn't know where the source of this absence came from. Was she stressed about something? No…she couldn't possibly be. Ever since she'd been properly disowned by her father (and damn, Hiashi, having waited for this opportune moment for AGES, knew what he was doing in that department), there was no reason for her to feel needlessly worried and tense about training sessions with her tempestuous younger sister.
So, what was it?
It was still around midnight, and the sun had yet to poke its beautiful face through her new establishment. She'd been resting on the bed with her new husband (who was still sound asleep) when she knew she had to check herself out or PERISH from her definite anxiety. Attempting to rise up from where she was laying soon proved to be futile. Her love presently had his arm draped over her slender form so protectively it was painful.
When tickling him playfully didn't work, she tried whispering endearing terms in his ear. "Sweetie, I need to use the bathroom…"
He didn't budge. She could see the faint appearance of a one-sided smirk making its way onto his face (from what she could tell, he was either wide awake and trying to make a fool of her, or simply having a pleasant dream), so she tried to give off a semblance of irritation. "I really have to go, honey…"
No response. Hinata was getting desperate. "SASUKE!"
Said Uchiha woke up at the sound of her beseeching cry, cracking open his charcoal orbs to eye her worriedly. The blue-haired kunoichi usually wasn't this noisy in bed (um, this is what they want us to believe); had a nightmare prompted her to scream aloud like that? His arm still acting as an impediment to her progression out of the bed, he made his point come across as effectively as he could to her. "Wha…? Hinata," he mumbled incoherently, blearily trying to find the right words. He tried again. "Hinata…"
Uh, sure, Sasuke. That sure was effective. You didn't know this, readers, but Sasuke's Achilles heel is his inability to wake up properly. It's always a struggle for him to wake up in the morning for training sessions…if it weren't for him being the epitome of perfection, he'd be even later than Kakashi!
…Ahem. Back to the story.
Hinata noted that throughout his trouble with properly addressing her, his arm was still clamped down around her waist. This over-protectiveness usually flattered her and made her feel 'good' inside, yes; but now…it was getting a bit irritating, especially when she was fully conscious in just why he was doing it.
Won't anyone care to fill us in on just why Sasuke was so defensive of his creamy-eyed love?
Deep down, the Uchiha was scared that if he let go of his new wife for even a second, she might end up in the arms of that damned Naruto. From his limited point of view, the blond shinobi always got everything he'd ever wanted – the lack of idolization and fan clubs from the entire fucking female population of Konoha, the luckiness to have a friggin' chakra reserve in his body (in Sasuke and Hinata's world, that bastard Orochimaru did not give Sasuke a deadly hickey), and even his Hinata's adulation and affection (at first)! Although Hinata promised him that she would keep her fidelity until the end, he could never be completely certain. For all he knew, he might wake up in a totally crazy AU world to see Hinata stuck in Naruto's grasp! Even worse, Sakura might be stuck in his grasp for eternity!
That's right, readers. Sasuke was aware of all those NaruHina/SasuSaku stories on certain websites! (Insert Hayate's coughing for a cheesy attempt at special effects) And in this fic, NaruHina and SasuSaku are so considered AU.
But let's rewind. Just how did Hinata end up in Sasuke's unyielding grasp, anyway?
Because they were married, of course! Silly you.
Well, contrary to most fics, Sasuke and Hinata were not forced to have an arranged marriage. Instead, they fell in love on their own volition. To find the way in which they did fall in love, just search amongst the thousands of well-written SasuHina stories, and we're sure you can find a perfectly valid explanation. However, we're also certain that most of you are lazy but lovable asses like Nara Shikamaru, so we'll be kind enough to provide you with a condensed version of Sasuke and Hinata's amour.
Will the real way in which Sasuke and Hinata fell in love please stand up? (We apologize for the tacky implication to the Slim Shady question.)
…So, why had Sasuke fallen for Hinata?
- Being around Sakura for long periods of time made him seriously ill. (Ever realized the true reason behind why he kept throwing up so much in the Forest of Death segment of the Chuunin Exams?)
- He wanted to prove to everyone that he was STRAIGHT and not a boy-whore.
- Hinata was just too damn cute to waste on the likes of Naruto!
- He despised Sakura's stalking techniques.
- Hinata was the only girl who HADN'T swarmed him with love poems and interpretative dances whenever he went around the village.
- Hinata was too sweet to deserve that dobe Naruto!
- Although she didn't give him his first kiss, Hinata had given him his first hickey (ha, take THAT, Orochimaru!).
- Hinata was the only one who somewhat understood his animalistic urge to kill his brother. (Um, even she was a bit slow on everything, he noted, but he didn't understand why they were all so stupid! Forgive and forget? His wife was still too soft (which was how he liked her…)!)
- Did we mention that he just couldn't stomach Sakura? (Oh, yeah. We did.)
And why had Hinata fallen for Sasuke?
- She noticed that Naruto sure as hell wasn't gonna start looking her way anytime soon.
- Sasuke had opened her eyes to simple logic: since it was overly obvious that her father was going to disown her, it was better to end up with someone who bore an esteemed surname than with the town fool. (Although she had scolded Sasuke for this later on.)
- Not only was Sasuke hot, he was the only boy who had noticed her in a positive way (besides her teammates).
- Sasuke was the only other person with a doujutsu who actually LIKED her. (Damn Hyuuga clan.)
- Sasuke was a non-teammate who was quiet. Like her!
- He hardened her while she softened him. (No, we're not saying that Sasuke and Hinata switched genders. Think of Sasuke as the bread to Hinata's butter!)
Aw, so sweet. Anyway, upon asking for her father's blessing (which he did rather quickly, if you ask us), Sasuke soon had a slight difference of opinion with his bride-to-be. She desired a traditional-style wedding with all their friends present, whereas he just wanted to elope to his bedroom with no one present but the two of them. But Hinata had pleaded and pouted cutely, ending the disagreement as quickly as it had started. (We told you she was too damn cute!)
They had the wedding Hinata had always dreamed of, and even Sasuke had thoroughly enjoyed himself. Hey, it was worth it to see Naruto stare at his gorgeous bride in dumb shock and Sakura collapse into a comatose state when she saw them kiss for the third time (something about the number three always does a person in if they live in Konoha…you'll know more later!). Even though she had fainted on their wedding cake, at least she'd destroyed it after they'd gotten a piece and a half to everyone at the celebration…
There you have it: the real way Sasuke and Hinata got together! It leads us right back to the story we so rudely left!
While we were going on and on about them getting together, Sasuke and Hinata were, at present, detaching temporarily so the latter could finally 'relieve' herself in the bathroom. It was the first time wherein the former Hyuuga was actually thankful to be away from her Sasuke…she just didn't want to see him go into some kind of withdrawal if she didn't reappear in time.
Now in the safety of their bathroom, she switched on the light and was temporarily blinded by the stunning glare. Once she'd blinked several times to become accustomed to the change in lighting differences, she was, suffice to say, a bit unnerved to see her complexion in the mirror. A pallid, gray face had replaced the bright, flushing one she usually donned. Stunned, she clasped both of her hands to her face. How could she look so…exhausted? Tugging at her slightly chubby cheeks in apprehension, she mentally struggled on remembering what had happened within the past few weeks (or months).
She could only recall one occurrence. And although it had been rather satisfying back when it had happened, she was now regretting it. Shoving the bathroom door open, she glared at the pitiful sight of her husband absently clutching her pillow in her stead, safely asleep again. If anything, she now hated him almost as much as everyone used to hate Naruto.
Damn him and his sexy ass! Damn him and those sexy role-playing ideas! Damn him for ordering that sexy catalog from the internet! Damn him for picking the sexy police outfit (with the accompanying prisoner outfit for him, might we add – Sasuke sometimes liked Hinata to be the seme)! Damn him for ordering the sexy matching handcuffs! Damn him for being just so sexy in general!
Why was Hinata cursing her sexy husband and his, well, sexiness?
A few months ago, somewhere in the middle of Sasuke's French fry going into Hinata's onion ring (repeatedly, might we add, and the author apologizes now for the corny insinuations to sex, but c'mon! Food sounds more appealing than Sasuke's pen going into Hinata's pen cap…should we have said Sasuke's hot dog going into Hinata's hot dog bun, instead?), he released his…yeah, into her…and you know what happened next. At least, this was what the kunoichi was beginning to suspect. And when was Uchiha Hinata wrong? (C'mon, look at who she picked for a husband! Was she wrong in that?)
She continued to curse him. If only Sasuke had used the damn condom set Temari had given her as a wedding gift (we have reason to question why Temari knew Hinata would need it, but more on that later)! But no, he just had to be Mr. Frickin' Suave!
…Not that she'd been complaining when it'd all happened, of course…
She swallowed deeply and exited the bathroom, heading back to the bedroom to tell her husband her discoveries and fears.
Ending Note: There goes the first chapter! I hope you all know that I'm so serious about this fic that I actually went and did some extensive research on pregnancy! I swear it! Of course, it's easy since I'm in a Child Care class in school. So get ready for some body humor in later chapters!
Um, let's see. We have a SasuHina pairing already, which might escalate into a SasuHinaIta triangle later on. What other pairings would you all like to see? Please, I'm trying to get away from the canon pairings I once loved (although NaruHina and SasuSaku never had a place in my heart, and never will). Give me crack pairings to consider! And review!
Ladii-Chocolate