I originally put this on .?showtopic=20644&hl but forgot about it so I'm putting here because I like it and want to finish it.

Disclaimer- Don't own them...=(

Sam stared at the paper, his way out. But what was he gunna say to his dad to his brother. But this wasn't his life his fight. He had fought this life so hard. Now he had his way out. but how was he get this around his dad. Maybe his dad would be proud, ha riiiight. John being proud of Sam getting into Stanford yea. Dean might be happy. Maybe. Sam sat down on the bed in his small room in another crappy apartment. He laid back and stuck the paper under his pillow just in case. He didn't want anyone finding out before he was ready to tell them. He sat there in quiet apartment. no one was home Dean and his dad went to check out a hunt. Whatever Sam thought to himself. Why should he be nervous about this? He shouldn't care this is what he wants. He never got anything he wanted because he wasn't the good soldier like Dean. Sam wanted to know everything he always had questions.
Sam thought about his mom what she would want him to do. She would he thought Sam didn't know what his mom would want he didn't know her he only knew pictures of her and the stories that Dean would sometimes tell him. Sam got up and grabbed the picture that was old and burned at a side of it. Sam looked at the small old photo of himself and his brother and his mom. Dean was sitting in Mary's lap holding Sammy with a big toothy grin. Sam looked at the picture for what seemed for hours until he dropped it to the ground and grabbed the letter and set it on the kitchen table and went back to his room laid down on his crap bed and picked up an old paperback but it was his favorite, To kill a Mockingbird. It was old and looked as if he had read over a hundred times. Sam didn't care he loved it. After reading for awhile all the letters seemed to jumble and Sam soon drifted off to sleep. When he was awoken by someone yelling his name. Sam shot straight up and looked at his clock it was nearly one in the morning what was going on. So Sam pulled himself out of bed and lumbered into the small kitchen to see his Dad standing staring at the letter and Dean not to far behind him. Ah that Sam thought to himself.
"What's up dad?" Sam asked as if it was that most normal thing in the world.
"Samuel Andrew Winchester" John barked.
"What?" Sam asked.
"When were you gunna tell me about this?"
"Uh when you got home that's why it was on the kitchen table." Sam said in a smart Alec tone.
"Watch it. Yeah well I m not letting you go."
'Well that's to damn bad."
"Excuse me!?"
"I going weather you like it or not. Why should you care! You've never cared what happened to me.!"
"Sammy! How dare you say that!" John yelled.
"Its Sam Damn it!"
"Sam, I'm not paying for this!"
"YOU DONT HAVE TO YOU MORON ITS A FULL RIDE!" Sam yelled.
"Watch it! I'm not letting you go I'm sorry but you're needed here."
"With my broken family that hunts demons and other scary things? Why do you need me?! You have Dean Dad." Sam hadn't looked at Dean the whole argument. So Sam didn't see the hurt in his big brother's eyes, Sam didn't see the pleading looks Dean was sending to both of the upset men. So Sam didn't see Dean with tears in his eyes as all the hurtful words were sent back and forth. Sam and John just acted as if Dean wasn't in the room.
"Sam you have to help us hunt down the thing that killed your mother."
"DONT BRING MOM IN TO THIS!" Sam screamed.
" I'll do whatever I damn well please"
"Well Then so can I. I am 18 years old now I can do what I want! I am going that's final!" Sam turned to leave.
"NO you are not going! I said so! You are not walking out on this family!"
"I AM LEAVING! You cant stop me! WHY CANT YOU BE PROUD FOR ME DAD!? "
"Proud of you, proud of you, for what leaving this family throwing it away?"
"THROWING WHAT AWAY?! A life of heartbreak and leaving and credit card fraud, pool hustling, poker games? And hunting./ Yeah well I don't want that! IT"S NOT ME!"
"I DONT CARE! YOU ARE STAYING HERE!"
"NO I am not!"
"FINE FINE But if you leave don't come back."
"YES SIR!" Sam yelled. He stormed to his room and packed up the few things he owned and threw them into a bag. He got out the small shoe box of money he had been saving and threw that in. Once he made sure he had everything. He walked into his brothers room laid something on his pillow and then walked back into the kitchen.
"I'm leaving," he stated.
"Fine go but when you walk out that door don't ever come back."
"Whatever." Sam said he grabbed his letter and walked out of the door slamming it. Dean stood quiet where he had been the whole time. Not saying a single word. He wasn't sure what just happened but he was sure his bother had not said goodbye to him and that his brother didn't even notice him. John was sitting at the kitchen table drinking, his shoulders slummed. Dean walked over to the table and grabbed the bottle and took a big swig. He grabbed the impala keys and left. Dean went to the nearest bar and drank himself silly until he was kicked out of the bar. Then he proceed to walk home because he couldn't find his damn car. Once he got home he went to his bed but missed and passed out on the floor so he didn't notice the something that Sam had left on his pillow. Nor did he know that his Little brother was sitting on the side of the apartment building wondering what he should do next. Dean woke up with a killer headache; it was almost two in the afternoon. Oh that's great. Dean looked up at his small bed side table to see that there sat a glass of water and two aspirin. Thanks Dad Dean thought. He stood up and hoped the room would stop spinning. Dean took the pills and drank the glass of water. He looked at his bed to see there sat To Kill a Mockingbird and an old tattered picture stuck inside. Dean gently pulled out the picture and looked at it. It was when Sammy was only a couple weeks old. Dean was sitting on Mary's lap smiling holding baby Sam. Dean flipped it over to see Sam had written on it.

Dean,
I love you... I hope you're proud of me.
Sammy.

Dean felt as if his heart had been broken. Proud? Hell yes he was proud of his little brother. Tears burned Dean's eyes. God Damn it Dad! How could he be such an Ass and kick Sammy out. Dean needed Sam He needed to be able to protect him. Dean walked out of his room and down the hall to the kitchen. His dad was sitting at the table drinking coffee and reading the paper like nothing had happen.
"Morning dean" John said. Dean ignored him and grabbed the coffee pot.
"Morning Dean" John Repeated.
Dean just grunted. Stop talking to me, Dean thought to himself. Dean poured himself some coffee and sipped it. He really didn't feel like throwing up.
"Dean." John started.
" Don't just don't! Dad I don't want to talk to you right now alright?"
"Okay dean." John nodded. Dean walked out and in to his room slamming the door. He sat down on his bed. Running his hand through his hair, shower dean decided he needed a Shower. Grabbing his duffel bag and walked into the bathroom turned on the shower full blaster undressed and stepped in. Dean washed up and stepped out and got dressed. Dean looked at himself in the mirror he looked hung-over. He just tried to shake it off and went back to his room. He needed something to keep his mind off of well everything. Settling on cleaning out his duffel bag, this only happened when he washed his dirty clothes. He unzipped it and took out all of his clothes. He already knew what was at the bottom he just never took any of it out any more. It was a shoe box and a stack of pictures wrapped in a rubber band. He took out the pictures removing the rubber band carefully he saw the first one. It was dean six years old perched on the impala not looking very happy Sam sat on ground in front of the car smiling and pointing at the camera. Dean didn't remember the picture but he knew why he was mad his Dad was leaving with out them again. Dean flipped to the next photo Sam looked about fourteen sitting behind the wheel of the impala looking really scared and almost on the verge of tears. It had been Sam's first driving lesson it had turned out very bad Sam had hit a cat maybe a dog Dean didn't remember. Next photos were mostly of Dean and Sam when they were little at Christmases and just other things that were important to Sam that Dean took for him.
"Dean." John's voice made him jump.
"What"
"We need to talk"
"No we don't."
"Dean Listen"
"NO! You listen. That wasn't your job! you barely Know Sammy! As for me I was there when my little brother woke up screaming and crying I Held him and told him it was gunna be alright! You never once tried to be close to Sammy. You never understand the kid. How can you not be proud of him?? Sam thinks you hate him!" Dean felt tears rush to his eyes. He didn't even stop them he just let them fell.
"Dean" John said quietly.
"No just…just leave" Dean mumbled, he wiped his tears. He heard the front door slam. Yeah that's right Dad go crawl into a bottle that's all you ever did, Dean thought bitterly. The phone rang in the kitchen; Dean made his way to it.
"Yeah?" Dean said.
"Dean,"
"Sammy,"