Never reaching what I want to reach

Never being who I want to be

Blaming me when I fall and fail

All my dreams splintering

-

u n d e r m y f i n g e r n a i l s

-

The sky, foggy and orange, the earth, cold and sparkling with frost, the overall atmosphere; cold, but damp and clear. The dreaded winter had finally passed, and spring had finally arrived. Every last mound of snow had melted away into nothing but small puddles that the ground would soon soak up, reviving every last dry blade of grass. The inside of a large, spacious building in Winchester was quite different than the outdoors, however.

Matt is the first one awake out of the entire building, not including the managers and workers, although he isn't aware of it. The first thing he does is slip out of his bed, and walk over to the window. The window, fogged up and making the image outside completely distorted, he eventually opens and peers out. The air is deathly cold first thing in the morning, sending a sudden jolt of ice up his spine.

Frost swirls from his mouth as he breathes, gazing at the property between locks of copper-colored hair. It had been an exact week that Matt had first arrived at his orphanage, sent here by social workers after both his parents had died. He had supposed to be in the hands of his aunt and uncle, but they didn't want him. They refused to take him in. So he ended up here.

"You don't belong here," the blond snarls, his eyes nothing but chips of ice, "What? Did you miss a few meals here and there? Get hit upside the head for your utter stupidity once in a while?" he scoffs scornfully, jabbing Matt harshly in the ribs, "If you can't take that, man, you're going no where in life. Why are you here, anyways? I thought this orphanage was for gifted children."

Mello, Matt remembers being his name, has been harassing and never leaving him alone once since he came here. Mello knows nothing of his past, however, not a thing. And for now, it'll stay that way, and Matt will reveal nothing.

"It is," the redhead retorts, "and you don't know a thing about me, like anything that went on before I came here. So back off."

Matt watches as Mello slowly arches an eyebrow, an eye narrowing dangerously. He isn't sure whether the bad-tempered blond is about to mock him, or throw him into a wall. Mello does neither, but something that would be considered the middle option of the two.

"Maybe not," Mello agrees darkly, his face thrust threateningly into Matt's. His eyes, cold, blue, and full of depth, burn into Matt's gaze of emerald, though he doesn't move. He doesn't show how much he intimidates him, "But I do know you enough to know that what you've faced compared to many of us is absolutely pathetic. So don't even try to somehow make anyone sorry for you- we've suffered far worse than you've ever dreamed of, ginger."

Mello falls silent, and Matt can do nothing but stare right back at him. Suddenly Matt feels an impulse of anger, feels way too pushed, way too threatened. Mello's aggressive gaze is locked on him, scorching his skin..

So Matt lunges forward and shoves him. Hard.

The sudden impact sends Mello into the wall behind him, so harshly that his head slams back against the stone wall. There's a sting, and he knows for sure it'll bruise up. More than anything, though, he's suprised. It doesn't last long, though, for when his slight daze is over, the pure anger returns to his features, lighting up his brilliant gaze.

"So you want to hit me, huh?" he murmurs, a growl clear in his tone, and he walks slowly back over to Matt, standing directly in front of him, "Well? Do it! Do it again! You'll never be able to do half of the things they did to me, you pathetic moron! You won't even leave a damn scratch!"

Matt watches as the older boy lifts up his shirt daintily, revealing his stomache and chest. Scars, some worse than others, are marked into his body, constant reminders of what he faced before. He drops his shirt, and the redhead glances up at Mello's face, which is dark with annoyance, anger, and maybe hurt. Though he's obviously not trying to show it.

Matt has nothing to say, for there's nothing to say anymore, so he just leaves. Just like that.

Matt didn't mind the Orphanage too much, except for the irritable people in it. Most of them were awfully aggressive, rude, and would practically slit your throat if you did so much as look at them. Others were timid, secretive, and prefered to be left alone. Then there were those who didn't really give a shit and went on with life. Matt wasn't exactly sure where he fit in those categories, and truthfully, he could care less.

Other than Mello and his intresting way of welcoming newcomers, Matt had only met a few other unfortunate souls who now called the orphanage their current home. There's Anna, a girl who tends to be very bold and slightly sarcastic, but is pretty friendly and most of the time keeps to herself. He isn't sure whether Anna is her real name or just an alias, but he won't find out her real name ever, so it doesn't matter. Anna hangs out with Mello alot of the time, and with another girl too.

Her name is Parker, and she's just as annoying as she sounds. Or atleast, the name Parker sounds annoying to his ears. Either way, she's obnoxious, and was clearly spoiled in her previous life. How she ended up here, only god knows, but she's here, and unfortunetely she isn't going anywhere.

Matt finally turns and backs away from the window, hitting the latch and letting the window fall shut on it's own. The rush of cold air is replaced with warm, making him shiver slightly.

_________________________________________________________________________

"DON'TTOUCHAWAYFROMITNOWRIGHTNOWGETAWAAAAAAAAY!"

Mello's looming over his science project fingers curled and teeth grit as Anna pokes in a finger to rearrange part of his diorama. Quick as lightning, her hand shoots back and away from the project, and she puts up her hands innocently. The blond huffs irritably.

"Quit touching my shit. That took me a full two days to do, and I didn't get any sleep last night whatsoever. If you screw it up, I'll kill you," Mello then smiles at her, something threatening yet fakely innocent. Anna frowns.

"You had an entire week to complete the assignment, yet you chose the last two days to actually do it. Usually you aren't so off-tasked," she says, raising an eyebrow mockingly. Mello sighs as locks of blond hair fall into his gaze.

"I was busy," he replies.

"How so?" she asks.

"Oh, the usual. Girls," Mello grins, crossing his legs and setting one of his hands on his knee, "They're all over me, you know."

"I'm sure they are, Mels, I'm sure they are."

Mello rolls his eyes and turns away, "Pfft. You're just jealous because you didn't get the chance to have some time with me."

Anna smirks and raises an eyebrow at her companion. Yesterday he was verbally torturing some new kid about his past, the next day he's attempting to flirt. Usually one day he's bad-tempered, and he's still bad-tempered for the rest of the remaining week.

"So where's L?" she asks finally, ignoring Mello and his sarcastic remarks. His face hardens, and his gaze averts.

"I could care less of where he is," the blond growls, crossing his arms across his chest, "He's been such a nuissance since he got here. He's...so fucking smart!"

"And your so jealous," the light blonde-haired girl grins. Mello turns her fierce gaze on her, but instead of cowering, her grin only widens. He mutters something she didn't catch and looks away, "I'm not jealous, just annoyed. He's always getting the highest grades, he's always being such a damn suck-up. He's a teacher's pet."

"Excuses," Anna says, "I don't think he's like that at all. As a matter of fact, that guy is so quiet most of the time I'm not even aware he's in our class. Relax, Mello, and get over it. You're still set-up for being the head of that organization Whammy started. No one can take that away from you, Roger even promised."

"...Yeah," the british-accented blond responds finally, "I suppose your right."

"I am right," she snaps, though in a good-natured way, "Now shut up and face the front before we get in crap for not paying attention."

__________________________________________________________________________

"L? L is your real name?"

"It's what I'm known and adressed by."

"But you have no idea what your real name is?"

"Technically I've never had a real name," L replies, fixing the man with his narrowed black gaze, "The only thing on my Birth Certificate labelled under my name is the mere letter 'L' which suggests my parents planned on naming me with a name that began with that letter, but apearantly never had the chance to get down the full name before they died."

"I see," Rodger, the manager of the orphanage, says slowly. L has been at the orphanage for about a month now, but he hasn't been very talkative. There's still quite a bit to be known about him.

"It was only my mother who died," he finally admits, shifting in his seat slightly, "I lived with my father for a small amount of time, before I was finally taken to a different orphanage at a young age. Now I've ended up here, in a different place only across England."

"Anything else you'd like to share?"

"Anything that might be of any value to you, no."

Holding back a sigh, the older man gives a curt nod, standing up and motioning towards the door to dismiss him, "Thank you, L, you're free to leave now."

The boy does and says nothing, but gets up from his chair and out the door, closing the door behind him. Once out in the hallway, he realizes he can do one of two things; go into his room and study, or try to socialize. He realizes he doesn't want to do either at the moment. Then he realizes another more than obvious thing;

There's practically nothing to do here.

It's not like he's complaining. He's got a better chance at life here than he did before anywhere else, and this Orphanage and it's standards were alot higher than the previous ones he had been at, but when boredom gets to you, you can't help but complain. A bit.

__________________________________________________________________________

Song Lyrics: Fingernails
Song Artist: Skillet
Fic Based Off: Roleplay
Suggested to Read: Shattered Justice by me, Hidden Identity by JadeWolfe

(A/N: Based slightly off of Roleplay, slightly off of Death Note. The only thing that makes it different is the fact that Mello and L are the same age. As a matter of fact, Mello's actually older than L. Anna is my own character that I made up, along with Parker, who'll eventually be called Danielle. This chapter...this chapter...-sigh- was hell. Don't ask why, it just was, xD. It had been deleted and re-written several times before finally I was able to successfully add the damn thing.
I'll accept flames, but c'mon, if you've got a problem with my writing, try to keep your criticism/insults mild, would you?)

- b l u e y *