Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
A/N Jun 24 2013: Back in action! We're live, folks. Expect updates weekly/bi-weekly.
Jutsu List: If anyone knows how to share a google doc over , help would be appreciated!
Thanks for the reviews so far!
A/N and Summary: This chapter is intended to gauge reader interest, provide insight into universe changes, and hook you into reading more. I am new to this, so please criticize me in very basic ways, building up from a mechanical perspective if possible. I love to hear what you feel I can do better. I'll try my best to respond to all PMs and Reviews. English is my native language, the grammar and spelling in this fiction should be pretty high-rate.
My japanese is not, however. I'll use honorifics only when I think they feel appropriate. Usually this will involve Naruto, with "Sensei" and "jiji". Later on, some Chans may come into play, but I wouldn't trust myself with much anything else.
"Normal Speech"
'Normal Thought'
'"Talking within mindscape"'
"Tenant Speech"
'Tenant Thought (rare?)'
*"Tenant Outside Speech (probably never, just setting precedent)"*
This fic begins under the following premise: Fortune Favours the Fox. This means Kurama, and by association, Naruto. We will not be following Canon. We will be departing from it almost immediately. Many background events will have changed, and you will learn of them as they are brought up. Most importantly, Akatsuki will actually be threatening, Village politics will not feel like squabbling 5-year-olds, there will be no bashing, and Ninja Academy will actually look decent - meaning that "Rookie of the Year" will actually be prestigious, and the skills they learn and are required to demonstrate there will be relevant to their careers as ninja.
Hopefully, this will keep Naruto close - personality-wise - to how he is in Canon. He's driven, cunning, and lucky. He will not be exceptionally smart. He will have many advantages over Canon Naruto in his formative years, but that will just mean he isn't literally braindead when we get to the action-meat and build of the series.
Hopefully, I can retain the compelling freshness of his personality while still delivering him (and others) more flexibility, character, and depth than the manga. If you notice any significant similarities between parts of this fanfiction and other Naruto fanfictions you have read, please inform me so I can contact said FF's owners and ask if ritual suicide is appropriate recompense. Not really, but point it out anyways and I'll make sure they get a nod / grant permission. These similarities are obviously unintentional.
As with all stories, it's best to begin at the beginning. From Yin and Yang, all things came. When the first Great Sage walked the land, years after Humanity's Great Decline, he left in his wake a beast of terrible power - Giving Humankind only Hope and Grace, Peace and Love, to defend themselves. Many centuries passed, and many Sages graced the lands to protect its people. In full circle, when the last Great Sage walked the land, he left in his wake the Moon, and nine tailed beasts. To each, he granted a gift – Reason for the Raccoon. Curiosity for the Cat. Truth for the Turtle. Ability for the Ape. Diligence for the Dolphin-Horse. Spirit for the Slug. Being for the Beetle. Tolerance for the Taurus.
And Fortune for the Fox.
Centuries more passed. The Last Great Sage and his teachings have long since faded away, lost to myth and legend. Few humans remain that remember the days of Hope and Grace, of Peace and Love. Few remain that remember the Prophecy. And of them, not all would see it come to pass...
'Why don't you do some training with us Naruto?' Naruto swung up again, having made little progress. 'It'll be fun Naruto!' The blonde released an aggravated cry - and was somewhat satisfied when a murder of crows took flight in response. Their angry squawking masked his very creative use of profanity, not unusual from Konoha's most infamous knucklehead in over a decade.
A grumpy and thoroughly dizzied young Naruto had been hanging upside-down for nearly an hour, watching his new "friends" spar. Not long ago, he'd met Mizuki and Iruka, two Chunin. They had bought Naruto ramen (laxatives apparently didn't affect the boy). They had taught him to throw a kunai (incorrectly, of course, though they hoped it would be a while before he figured that one out). And they had offered to teach him some cool jutsu, if he could complete a simple Academy Training Exercise.
At the blonde's shout, the Chunin gave a start and jumped back from their fight. They looked around for the source of the noise on full alert – it wouldn't do to have an invader slip by them. When they spotted the dangling Naruto, sill swearing in frustration, Mizuki had burst out laughing, while Iruka merely allowed himself a halfhearted chuckle.
He was feeling a bit guilty at their prank, after having forgotten about the boy. It wasn't that he hated the kid, at least not personally. Mizuki had been bringing up old memories, and it'd been a heavy work day... and, well, his family had died in The Attack. The prank hadn't been as amusing as he'd imagined.
Memory of the tragedy, six years ago, had been especially raw today. Regardless, Iruka was beginning to think that it wasn't much of an excuse - especially after he'd seen how much joy even a little bit of attention had brought the jinchuriki. Mizuki, however, had no such moral qualms, letting his hatred show through in an impressive display of killing intent - the intensity of which caused chills that set Naruto's dangling body atremble.
"What's the matter, brat? Can't even do a pullup? Everyone who goes to the academy can do it! You just have to do one, and we'll let you down!" Naruto rallied from his fear at that. He would make Mizuki eat his words - he wasn't Konoha's number one unpredictable prankster for nothing!
The blond raised his hands, from where they'd scraped the well-kept grass, and heaved. He strained upward with every fiber in his body, every ounce of his childish will, Naruto reached higher, and then higher still. Unfortunately for him, basic physics and biology had yet to learn their proper places in his life - Naruto became light-headed and dizzy from his abrupt change. Combined with the hateful Chakra that Mizuki was pumping out, it was enough to demolish his attempt.
As Naruto fell into a wild swaying, a Mizuki's foot shot out to nudge him, and the spinning blonde crashed into into the trunk of the tree he was tied to. Disoriented, Naruto, finally lost his painstakingly-gathered concentration. His limp, flailing oscillations induced more laughter from the Silver-haired Chunin, and the blonde had to fight in order to keep his earlier meal down... or... up? 'It feels just like being on the swings, when you get to the top! If I can just get a good swing going...' Idea hatched, he gathered his determination for one last crack at the silverette's challenge.
Iruka, oblivious to the blonde's revelation, had finally decided to move forward, intent on helping Naruto out. He didn't quite know what to do, as the upside-down boy began swinging himself back and forth - however, he had the sense of mind to step between him and Mizuki, already resolute in his actions as he bodily cut off the other Chunin's flow of Killing Intent. 'I might not like the troublemaker, but I can't justify this sort of behaviour - not after that seminar on bullying I gave...'
He was pulled out of his thoughts as Naruto's rocking became violent and invigorated - the blonde was throwing himself into each motion, keeping in time with his previous swaying. Finally, the jinchuriki managed to bring his arms up in a determined grasp around his calves - and managed to hold fast through the downswing, as gravity took over. 'Well I'll be...' Iruka whistled low, as the boy persevered through the forces trying to tear his hands away on the upswing - it had been a long bet, and not one that either Chunin would've taken.
Finally, on the apex of his swing once more, the blonde grunted a mighty "YA!", straining forward, he wrapped his fingers around the rope as the descent began. "I DID IT!" The overjoyed blonde shouted out with glee, again startling the crows that had re-settled. Still, he was dizzy with joy, and spinning from the mis-matched forces acting on him - one of his hands slipped, and was flung out behind him - pulled away by angular acceleration.
With a fierce scowl, the blond fought against the gravity and momentum - and for a moment, his arm had bent back toward the rope, his spin accelerating like a figure-skater's. Unfortunately, Mizuki had moved for a better view, and his partner's Chakra was no longer interposed between bully and victim – Killing Intent once more flooded Naruto's consciousness, and he lost his grip entirely. If not for a quick shift, instinctively covering his head as much as possible, he would've been seeing spots for the rest of the night. As it was, he simply crashed hands-first into the tree.
Of course, the damage done was healed and gone almost before Naruto had registered any pain. Iruka rushed forward at last, and quickly untied the gently swaying Naruto. The Chunin regarded him critically - an eyebrow raised as he watched the scrapes and cuts disappear without scab. He had no more time to study it, however, as the blonde flopped to the ground with a 'thud'. A fire was already in Naruto's eyes, as the boy's anger mixed with his exhilaration at having completed the challenge.
The boy huffed for a minute to regain his breath, then pushed himself to his feet at about the same time as Mizuki had finished chuckling. "What'd you guys do that for?" Tiny hands raised in a frantic, questioning plea. "I thought we were supposed to be training!" His shrill voice caused Iruka to wince, but the blonde brat powered through with his complaints, directed mainly at Mizuki. "You didn't even use any cool jutsu when you fought! You didn't show me anything but how this *SQUAWK!*ing training ground looks like upside-down!"
By now, the crows were tired of squawking, and had decided that migrating to a much more PG nesting grounds was the best choice.
Iruka resolved to let the kid vent his steam, as the high-pitched cussing elicited sniggers and the occasional chortle from Mizuki, who had bent over double at the child's antics. Iruka himself had had worse from some of his more... colourful students, and as a veteran teacher of nearly three years - a lifetime of experience, as far as most ninja were concerned - was used to temper tantrums by now. Mizuki, it turned out, was not so patient.
After growing less and less amused with each passing insult, the assistant teacher reached out - quick as sound - and grabbed Naruto off the grass, holding him up by a single arm. "Listen here you little nine-tailed demon shit, we only told you we'd 'train' you so I could-" A powerful *thunk* interrupted the Chunin, and the warm scent of blood filled the midday air. Quivering in the tree behind the trio was a kunai, red along one edge. Mizuki dropped Naruto with a hiss, covering his lacerated wrist with a simple medical jutsu. He hadn't done more than stop the bleeding, when an Anbu revealed itself from the foliage.
"Is that true, Mizuki? You told Naruto you'd 'train' him? Oh, well isn't that big of you!" Cat grinned behind his mask, a hint of sadistic mirth graced the edge of his voice. He had these two dicks by their respective balls, now. Naruto, who had been allowed to notice Cat from his uniquely-angled perspective over the last hour, was the only one who wasn't startled by the Anbu's appearance. Taking courage at the unexpected ally, his demeanour flipped once more - from 'scared pissless', to 'this should be good'.
Not one for awkward stare-downs or silences, the pint-sized prankster chimed in. "Cat! It sure is, dattebayo! They taught me how to throw a kunai, and even said they'd teach me 'What it really meant to be a Ninja', just like you!" Iruka groaned as realization slowly dawned on him. Like Mizuki, who had sunk to his knees, he was now wondering why he was even still alive. And the brat was playing up his situation to the ANBU, completely unaware of the severity of what had just occured. No doubt they'd be subjected to all sorts of horrors by T&I before they were incinerated.
As Naruto regaled his day to the ANBU, who'd undoubtedly been there for its entirety, Iruka's fears gave way to a small glimmering of hope. The spec-ops nin eye-smiled at him and Mizuki from behind his mask as Naruto continued his tirade, and a small Genjutsu cut off all light, all sound from the outside world - allowing the three older ninjas to talk un-interrupted.
"One chance, men," the androgynous, metallic voice rang through. "How are we gonna fix this situation?" Iruka sighed as he mentally reworked his schedule to include a week of ass-kickings and tongue lashings. At least death was off the table, for now. Konoha was still too weak to enforce the death penalty every time the Demon Law was broken – in this case, it was probably their position as educators that had saved the two Chunin a fiery fate.
"What do you want?" Mizuki's voice echoed dejectedly within the confines of the Genjutsu. The ANBU considered them for a moment, pretending as if he hadn't already made his mind up. Time seemed to stretch out infinitely as the two lesser ninja awaited their sentence. With the finality of a gavel, Cat told them.
Sunlight returned to the clearing. Iruka's jaw snapped shut, and the trio clued in again as the blonde finished "...they even made me do this stupid advanced training exercise, it took me forever to figure out, but then I almost puked and that got me thinking about swing sets and then finally I got it!"
By now, the boy was breathing heavily, after an impressively lengthy rant that had been completed in a single breath. Naruto looked up to Cat with a sparkling glaze in his eyes, as he recounted how he'd figured out the secret to pull-ups again in his mind, already mentally embellishing the story.
The last of the boy's comments tipped Cat off to the depth of the treachery involved. 'It was just like the swings at the park...? But what sort of kid can't do a pull up?' Realization hit, and Cat suppressed a growl – along with the majority of his Killing Intent. He didn't need the Chunin soiling themselves. 'Advanced Training Exercise indeed, that rope was practically braided with Chakra-suppressing Seals...'
Judging by the quality of the rope, even a Jonin would've been hard-pressed to do a pull-up with over half his Chakra (and therefore half his strength) beyond reach. That Naruto had managed even unconventionally to do so - and at his level of training - spoke volumes of the child's willpower.
Cat was, if not enamoured with, then at least fond of the jinchuriki. He'd lost no family, at least to The Attack, and the blonde had been nothing but youthful exuberance and childish innocence since Cat had been assigned to him - no Demon could emulate that for so long. It reminded him of his home, before...
Clearing his throat, the ANBU addressed the Chunin. Mizuki, bubbling with anger and grinding his teeth, seemed especially rattled by the Anbu's next words. "Alright then, Mizuki, Iruka, I suppose you two should be the ones teach this young, aspiring Ninja about what it really means to be of the Leaf." He sent Naruto a wink. "Perhaps starting with the Academy three for the year? And maybe how to throw kunai and shuriken properly?" Naruto could only cheer, despite his confusion. He didn't care why - the blonde was simply happy that something had managed to go his way, for once.
"Get to it." With that, Cat disappeared. No smoke, no leaves, not even a rustle of wind – neither Chunin missed the message implied. Naruto blinked a few times, looking high and low – the blonde had been about to run off in search of Cat, when Iruka crouched beside him, and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"W...we'd better get to training, then, N-Naruto..." Defeatedly, Mizuki jogged off to grab kunai and shuriken, while Iruka sat down next to the blond, and went through what amounted to a stripped-down version of the Academy's entrance exam, determining what the boy knew... and what they'd have to teach him to buy their lives back from Cat.
When Mizuki returned, a short time later, he was laden with exercise scrolls, kunai, weapons, ropes, pulleys, and more. When Naruto saw all of this, he leapt to his feet in excitement. Ignoring Iruka – much to the Chunin's annoyance – he began pestering Mizuki for information. "What are we doing first? What's that for? WHOAH! A REAL EXPLOSIVE TAG?" Iruka quickly steered the boy away, explaining that Mizuki needed time to set up the training grounds for the oncoming weeks.
When Naruto realized how long he'd have teachers for – and that they'd be bringing him not only weapons and lessons, but food - he launched into the air in a triumphant flash of orange joy, his fist-pump emphasized by an exuberant "YOSH!"
On the outskirts of Konoha, Kakashi won a final Rock Paper Scissors match, ending a thousand-game tie between himself and his eternal rival, Maito Gai. The latter had defaulted to rock, as he stared suddenly off towards the training grounds. Kakashi's victory was bitter-sweet, however, as Konoha's Green Beast grabbed him roughly in a bear hug, crushing the Copy-Cat and muttering about youthfulness.